The Guard

by Harri Aburrow-Newman

  “she is the only reason I am fighting this war. She’s the only thing that makes it worth it.”

  “The long-term survival and freedom of the human race isn’t a good enough cause for then?” I asked wryly, cocking at eyebrow at her.

  “Frankly, no. The human race hasn’t given me shit, but I have already given what feels like a lifetime to save it. Her death would be the last straw… a world without her in it…” she shook her head slowly, her eyes finally drifting away from me and into the middle distance, “ that is not a world that deserves to be saved. Even if I could continue fighting.”

  “That’s very short sighted of you. And selfish. I never had you down as that.”

  I frowned, staring down at my hands and heard her hiss slightly through her teeth.

  “Fuck you, Michael. You know nothing about it.”

  I breathed out slowly through my nose, closing my eyes briefly before opening my mouth,

  “If you can’t keep your temper under control and act sensibly while Ysabel is here then you will not be coming on missions with us, understand?”

  She stood up again, not bothered to acknowledge my comment, and walked out quickly. I looked up, watching her back retreating away me and wondering what to do with her.

  Chapter 22

  Beth

  Ysabel was curled into her favourite armchair when I got home. A large, hard back book was lying open on her lap and the apartment was filled with the smell of fresh-made coffee, a mug of which steamed gently on the small table next to her. She didn’t look up as I went in, walking past her into the kitchen without pausing. The cafetiere was still half-full and I poured some into a mug, adding a more-than-generous measure of whiskey to it.

  “You shouldn’t have reacted so strongly, ma chérie”

  Her whisper sounded loud in my thoughts, the admonishment in it clear and wincingly sharp despite her customary endearment. I let my head drop forward, my hair an imaginary barrier between us. Now the fire of my fear induced anger had been quenched, I was left feeling stupid and inept. Yzzy had made no mistakes, had just done her job… my mistake was inexcusable, an almost complete loss of control. It was the exact reason why relationships among the guard were outlawed.

  “I know,” I said out loud, mostly to myself.

  Picking up my mug, I wandered towards the living room, stopping in the doorway and leaning against the frame. Yzzy didn’t look round at me, absorbed as she was in her book.

  “I just didn’t anticipate how hard it would be…” I addressed the back of her head, “seeing you in danger and not being able to do anything about it. I was scared, it took me by surprise. It won’t again.”

  She didn’t respond, but I could sense her attention shift a little, and the hand she had lifted to turn her page paused, resting flat on the paper instead. I straightened, wandering into the bedroom and placing my mug on the bedside table before shaking out my hair and shucking off my tee shirt and bra, rolling my shoulders and letting out a small sigh of relief. Bras were a useful invention, and far preferable to corsets, but there was still a definite sense of liberation when you took them off at the end of the day.

  There was a slight noise from the living room and then Ysabel was behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her chin on my shoulder. I covered her hands with my own, breathing out slowly and turning my face towards her slightly so that I when I inhaled again I was filled with the scent of her. She smelled, as always, like soft roses and cinnamon. Like peace and home and forgiveness.

  She pulled back, pushing on my hips to gently spin me round and look me in the eyes for the first time since I got home.

  “There is nothing to forgive,” she murmured, pushing back some stray hairs from my face, “everybody makes mistakes, and yours today hasn’t led to any harm, so forget it. Or maybe just chalk it up to experience.” She smiled, shaking her head slightly, “you are always too quick to anger.”

  I grinned, somewhat ruefully, and looked up at her through the hair that had come loose again to hang in front of my eyes. I shook it back with a quick jerk of my head and drew her towards me, one hand sliding round the back of her neck… she took a small step so that she was pressed against my bare chest, her curves a subtle tease through the thin cotton of her shirt, and kissed me softly, pulling away almost immediately so that I followed her, seeking her lips again. She laughed under her breath, running her hands up my bare sides, her fingertips dancing over my breasts and along my collarbones, to my shoulders, down my arms… I shuddered, my eyelids fluttering closed as every nerve lit up under her touch. When I opened my eyes, hers were just inches away, their green irises swallowed by black. I surged forward, driving her back to the wall and reclaiming her mouth. She yielded instantly, her lips insistent against my own, the taste of coffee on her tongue. Her nails grazed over my shoulder blades and danced along the sensitive edges of my wing sheaths, making me gasp and my heartbeat start to race, faster and faster. I slid my hands up her stomach, popping a few buttons on her shirt then losing patience, dragging it up and over her head, casting it to one side and bending to run my lips down her neck, feeling her pulse against my tongue. She moaned low in her throat, the sound vibrating through her and into me, then grabbed a handful of my hair, twisting her fingers into the already knotted curls and kissing me hard, catching my lip with her fangs and making the coppery taste of my blood filled both our mouths. She pushed off of the wall with one foot, forcing me backwards towards the bed, her mouth never leaving mine. I hit the bed hard with the back of my legs, vaguely registered a thud as it knocked against the bedside table, sending my abandoned coffee tumbling to the ground. I let myself collapse backwards and she fell on top of me, grabbing my wrists and holding them out from my sides, pressing one denim-clad thigh between my own and running her tongue down my chest. My back arched involuntarily, pressing me harder against her as my thoughts scattered, hot waves of desire clearing them of the afternoon’s events… and almost everything else… Yzzy released my wrists, her fingers working quickly to undo the button fly of my combats, dragging them down my legs whilst her lips and tongue continued to explore my chest and stomach, and the soft skin on the insides of my thighs... my hands grabbed at the duvet, barely moving from where Yzzy had left them, anchoring me as she continued her assault.

  I let Yzzy sleep that night, and just lay fully dressed in the dark, listening to her breathe and the world moving around me. The city was never quiet, even these days. If I let my hearing rove outwards I could hear the sleepy chatter of the few humans still living in our building, the clicking of the guards’ heels as they paced around the tiled floor in reception... using movement to keep them alert. Further out, there were the sounds of occasional cars, although nowhere near so many as in the past; I imagined they were nearly all military vehicles or taxis. No one except soldiers and the indestructible youth ventured out at night now, I could hear the bass pulse of the latter’s nightclubs, like the city’s heartbeat, continuing undisturbed. An erratic burst of gunfire cut through my reverie, and I was out of bed and on the balcony in a second, seeking out the source of the noise. It was a good few miles away, I could hear the unmistakable gibbering of ferals from the same direction… scowling, I glanced back towards the flat and my sleeping Yzzy, torn between her and the fight. Shaking myself, I turned, heading back inside and closing the doors against the sounds. There was only a few ferals, and I couldn’t hold the soldiers’ hands all the time. Besides, I reasoned with myself, they’d wonder how I’d known what was going on, and how I’d gotten there so quickly… it would be more trouble that it was worth.

  I spent the rest of the night in Yzzy’s armchair, reading the book she had left there earlier, sipping whiskey and smoking the odd cigarette. I roused myself when the sun came up, feeling its presence rather than seeing it, and after having a shower, sauntered back into the bedroom to wake Ysabel. She had moved around since I’d gotten up, so she was now sprawled diagonally across the bed, her legs knotted in
the duvet and her hair a glistening spray across the sheets behind her. I followed the smooth curve of her back with my eyes, smiling to myself. Reaching out gently with my mind, I touched against the incoherent, fantastical dream images drifting across the surface of hers and whispered into them, creating a definite seam of thought that skipped through her, the discord it created waking her slowly. She drew in a deep breath, which caught slightly in her throat as she rolled onto her back and stretched her arms above her head, her face crinkling up adorably as she tensed and relaxed her muscles. Once done, she pulled the duvet back up to her chin and curled up on her side, snuggling back down into the warmth,

  “are you just going to stare, ma chérie, or come and lay with me a while?”

  I chuckled, stripping off my clothes as I went, and slipped back between the covers, fitting myself against her, using my left arm to pull her back tighter against me. She made a slight, satisfied noise in her throat,

  “that’s better”, she murmured, “can’t we stay here today?”

  I laughed properly at that,

  “my, that makes a change. Usually it’s me trying to play hooky”

  “it’s your fault. You’re a horrible influence on me.”

  I could feel the pout in her words, exaggerated for my benefit, I was sure.

  “you know I would like nothing better, sweet. But we should probably go and do our jobs. Besides, I want to get a gun.”

  At this, I could feel her jerk to full awareness and she turned suddenly, propping herself up on one elbow so she was looking down at me, frowning.

  “what on earth do you want a gun for?”

  “well why do you think? Vampires don’t need guns, fine. But humans do. And as we are still playing at being human, if I am going to protect you properly I need to have one.”

  Yzzy didn’t look convinced, continuing to study me with a frown that was halfway between confusion and concern.

  “C’mon, Yzzy, you know I’m right. I nearly blew our cover yesterday. And!” I grasped onto another point, “it would make Michael and Nathan feel better, they’re already suspicious about us not wanting to use them.”

  “Hmm… I suppose you’re right. I’m not happy though.”

  I laughed under my breath at her, reaching out to run my finger down the frown-crease that ran vertically between her eyebrows,

  “always so stuck on tradition and rules…”

  She tutted and rolled her eyes, the frown disappearing.

  “Only in some ways,” she smiled, leaning down to kiss me.

  Michael was only slightly surprised when I went to find him and ask for a sidearm, but seemed pleased that I was finally conceding to their value. He handed me a Baretta 9mm like the one that I had used on that first day of training with him, telling me where I could get ammunition and reminding me to keep it clean and keep practicing with it. I nodded as enthusiastically as I could muster, swallowing my impatience, and unbuckled my sword belt to rearrange the weapons so that the new addition sat just behind the right hilt.

  “Where’s Ysabel?”

  “She’s gone to meet with the IGS, they’re due to send in a report anyway so she said she’d go and collect it. Did you find anything of interest yesterday?”

  “Mm... possibly.”

  He waved at me to follow him,

  “I’m on my way to meet with people about it now if you want to come.”

  “And you didn’t invite me before? I’m hurt!” I pouted at him and he grimaced,

  “Oh please. I hardly needed to invite you did I? You seem to have a knack for turning up at the right time, even if you’re not wanted.”

  I didn’t deign to answer him that time, just falling into step beside him with a smirk. I could feel him glancing at me, building up to say something,

  “Spit it out, Michael. I know you want to chew me out about yesterday.” I pulled a face at him, “for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. And I’ll even apologise to the incompetent Texan. It… took me by surprise, seeing Ysabel in danger. It’s been a long time since we fought together. It won’t happen again.”

  “Hm.” Michael squinted his eyes at me, assessing, “Nathan’s not happy. He wants you court martialled.”

  “Oh for god’s sake. He does realise that I’m not actually in the army?”

  “He was too pissed to bother with making sense. I’ll tell him you’ve had your privileges revoked. Just don’t make me regret not really doing it.”

  “I’m almost inclined to do something stupid, just to see what privileges I’ve even got to be revoked,” I smirked again, receiving a glare in response.

  “Don’t you dare,” he muttered.

  “I know, I know. I won’t… I am sorry. Truly.” I stopped and turned to Michael, who stopped too after a beat and looked down at me, “I acted like a total idiot. A total rookie and I let my temper get the best of me. You’d be quite within your rights to kick me out.”

  “You’re right,” Michael replied dryly, “I would. But I won’t. Because despite your god awful temper, you’re good in a fight, you’re smart and you’re willing to give everything you’ve got.” He sighed, “Beth, at the end of the day, and I know you get pissy with me when I say things like this, but suck it up, you’re a teenage girl, and you don’t have the experience that the rest of us do. So I’ll cut you a little slack here and there.”

  I smiled slightly at him, even as guilt at lying to him wormed through me,

  “Thanks, Michael.”

  “You’re welcome. Now get moving, we’re late.”

  Nathan and his second-in-command, a lanky, dark haired man who I was sure Nathan had chosen to be his second simply because he went along with whatever he said, and Glen were already in the meeting room with the data guys who had been looking through the information they’d snagged from the nest. They’d laid out a few papers and a map that was covered in red felt tip on the table, and were leaning over it, pointing out the odd thing of interest to Nathan. Glen was rocking back on his chair playing some sort of game on his phone, which was emitting bizarre chirping, whooshing noises as he swiped his finger across the screen.

  “What the hell is that?” I asked as we walked in, peering over his shoulder. He looked back at me incredulously,

  “You’ve never played this?!”

  I pulled my own, basic mobile out of my pocket and dangled it in front of his face.

  “Oh yea,” he said, putting his own phone away, “I forgot that you’re a freak.”

  Michael cut off the snarky reply I was forming by clearing his throat and looking pointedly towards Nathan, who seemed to be ignoring us. Glen waggled his eyebrows with a grin. I flicked the side of his head as I moved around the table to where Nathan was stood.

  “How’s your neck?” I asked, trying not to make it sound like I was amused. He just stared at me incredulously. I grimaced, looking down at the desk,

  “I’m sorry, Nathan. I lost my temper and attacked you for no good reason, and that was inexcusable. I hope I didn’t damage your throat.”

  I set my face into what I hoped was a sympathetic kind of expression. He huffed,

  “Frankly, I would have booted you out on the spot for what you did.” He turned to Michael, “I suppose it’s all ‘forgive and forget’ in the UK?”.

  “Hardly,” said Michael dryly, “Beth’s had her privileges revoked for the foreseeable future, and is on her last warning. Another toe out of line and she’s gone.”

  “Well good.” Nathan snapped out, then turned back to the map, “shall we get on with this?”

  Glen crossed his eyes at me and I hastily swallowed a laugh, flipping him a middle finger behind Nathan’s back instead. Michael muttered in my ear,

  “Behave, children.” And gave Glen a pointed look before taking his seat.

  There were no more dramas after that. We rolled on; more nest clearances, more patrols. More and more of nothing in particular. I glared down at the wine in my glass, swirling it morosely, watching the sides of the gl
ass stain and then clear. Lexi and Yzzy were chatting happily, sipping at their own wine, discussing something inane about one of the IGS women. I felt a soft, questioning touch on my mind from Yzzy, and I reinforced my shields a little, cutting off the frustration that must have been leaking down our bond to her. There was nothing to be done about it, nothing more we could do other than just keep looking, I didn’t want to spoil her mood by infecting her with mine. She turned to me, frowning,

  “You know just shutting me out isn’t going to make me stop asking.”

  Lexi’s eyebrows shot up,

  “umm… you guys ok?”

  “Fine.” I grumbled at her, and turned back to Yzzy, “I was trying not to intrude on your conversation by being a grouch.”

  Lexi chuckled and muttered,

  “You’re always a grouch.”

  I shot her a glare, ignoring the hastily quashed smile that crossed Ysabel’s lips as well.

  “I’m so sorry the near extinction of my people is causing me some frustration.” I sniped at her, only to immediately regret when guilt twisted her face.

  Yzzy tutted at me,

  “Don’t take it out on Lexi, ma chérie, she was only joking. And anyway, you are usually a bit of a grouch. You’re lucky I love your frown lines.” She smiled gently and ran a finger down the crease between my eyebrows, and I felt a gentle caress down our bond at the same time. I blew out a slow breath,

  “Sorry, Lexi. I didn’t mean to be snippy. I’m just so bloody frustrated with chasing my own tail. We’re not getting anywhere… I should be doing better than this. Clear nest, sit on our asses, clear nest… and repeat and repeat.”

  I scowled, and downed the last dregs of my wine. Lexi immediately reached over and filled my glass again.

  “You’re doing fine, Beth. We’re doing fine. You’re not alone in this and it’s not all resting on your shoulders… we’ve cleared masses of nests since you and Yzzy brought this grand plan to us; far, far more than we ever would have done separately.” She cocked her head at me, “for an immortal, you’re fucking impatient you know.”