by Mia Clark
"Sorry," Caleb says. "I can see why you like Ethan, though. He's really cool."
Ethan's cool? Yup, I guess so, but I never really thought of it like that.
"Ethan and Ashley have some growing up to do," my mom says. "They're both wonderful people, but this is their first real relationship, and those can be difficult sometimes. We're still trying to figure out how to tell Ethan's father, but I think we'll have that out of the way soon. Then hopefully these two won't feel the need to sneak off into the woods to spend time alone together."
"Um, I'm pretty sure we might," I tell my mom before I think about what I'm saying. "It's not like we can go in the tent with you and his dad right outside."
"Really," my mom says. "How often do you two need alone time?"
"Um... I don't want to answer that."
How do you even answer a question like that? I feel like, if we're taking Ethan's whims into account, it's at least once a day, but then if we're adding my whims, it's maybe twice, except sometimes we each have half a whim and when you add those together, it's a full whim, so three times.
Really, this is a complex algebraic problem that requires multiple equations to solve.
Except if I say that out loud I just sound like some kind of sex freak. Ethan can sound like a sex freak and I guess that's fine, but I'm not supposed to be a sex freak. I kind of like being a sex freak, but I don't think I'm supposed to admit that to anyone, so I'm not going to. I'm just not.
My mom rolls her eyes at me. Then she beckons Caleb over.
"Let's see about fishing, shall we?" she says to him. "Do you have a girlfriend, Caleb?"
*** Ethan
Yeah, so, we're fucked. Completely fucking screwed. Lost in the woods, no big deal, except it's a pretty fucking big deal because there's wolves or something. We haven't seen them yet, but that's not exactly a good consolation here, because every so often we hear a howl, and I think it's getting closer.
Look, I don't know exactly what a wolf sounds like, so I couldn't tell you if this is multiple wolves or one wolf or a baby wolf or whatever the fuck. I literally do not know, and to be honest I don't give a fuck what's going on there wherever the fuck the wolf or wolves are. I just don't want to get eaten by a wolf.
Maybe I'm a bad boy and you think I should just like... fight the wolf or something? Are you serious, though? Who the fuck fights a wolf? You think this wolf is just going to bow down to my greatness? Shit, how awesome would that be, though? Yeah, just walk out, see a wolf, he puts two paws to the ground, lowers his muzzle, and submits to my badassery.
If Ashley were here she'd yell at me for trying to make badassery into a word. You know what? It's a pretty amazing word if I do say so myself.
Anyways, that's where we're at. Woods, lost, wolf, running, and holy fuck.
Yup...
We try to retrace our steps, but it's getting darker and it's hard to see. We can still technically see, but I think we overstayed our welcome in here. The forest is not our friend, and that's becoming more and more obvious with each passing minute.
"Here," my dad says, sidestepping past a tree and heading towards a hillside.
There's a small cave here. Nothing huge, but we can hide out in there. Except it's a motherfucking wolf. You think it's not going to find us in this cave? Pretty fucking sure that's exactly what wolves do.
Whatever. I guess we can at least defend ourselves in here better.
My dad heads to the back of the cave, which is to say it's only maybe a few steps in. He sighs and leans against the back, sliding to the ground. I sit next to him, watching the entrance.
"We're completely fucking screwed, huh?" I say.
"Ethan," my dad says. "Don't say stuff like that."
"How's this going to work then?" I tell him. "Do you think we can get out of here or what? Because I sure don't."
"It's just a wolf," my dad says. "It's probably not even interested in us."
I laugh. I don't mean to laugh, but does he know what he's saying? Just a wolf? Uh... pretty fucking sure a wolf could destroy us.
I'm a pretty tough guy, alright? I lift weights, I know what's up. Yeah, I'm a quarterback, so technically speaking I don't get into too many fights on the field, but I like to run the ball as much as I like handing it off or passing it, and if you're going to run with it, you've got to be able to not only take a hit, but sometimes give one out, too.
Football isn't some fancypants ballet or anything, it's a legitimate contact sport, and sometimes you've just got to knock a fucker to the ground. I mean that in a nice way.
That's with people, though. Human beings. I'm not going to tackle a fucking wolf. I mean, if I really have to, I guess I'll give it a shot, but it's not my idea of a good time.
"I'm sorry," my dad says. "I'm not sure how this happened. We should have just stayed on the trail. I thought it'd be fun to head out on our own."
"Yeah... like we used to," I say.
The first time we went camping, we both pissed each other off. We wouldn't talk to each other, but it's hard not to talk to someone when you're stuck in a tent five feet away from them. It's even harder when you rely on each other for everything, and there's nothing else to do. No TV, no video games, no friends or anywhere to go. It's the fucking woods, alright?
"I know it wasn't much, but I liked hiking with you," my dad says to me.
"Yeah, I liked it, too," I say.
It was a lot, though. It was the first time in a long time where I thought maybe my dad actually cared about me.
I was the one who said we shouldn't follow the regular hiking trails. I was always doing things to try and get a rise out of him, to see if he would say anything. Usually he didn't even bother, he just let me do whatever. I honestly felt like he didn't care anymore.
When I suggested we head off into the woods without a destination or a path, my dad agreed, though. Sure, he said. Why not?
And... it was really fun.
We sit next to each other now, and stay quiet, listening. After a few more minutes, we hear another howl. It sounds closer, but also different. Confused or something? Fuck if I know. It's a wolf.
"Maybe it's a friendly wolf," I suggest with a shrug. "Like in a Disney movie or something."
My dad laughs. It's louder than I expected, and it makes me laugh, too. We're really fucked here, but it's nice that we can laugh together.
"What Disney movie has friendly wolves?" my dad asks. "Mice, dragons, and lions, sure, but wolves?"
"Shit," I say, laughing. "You're right."
My dad laughs again. "Ah, well."
"Hey," I say to him, quiet. "Can I tell you something?"
"If it's some deathbed confession, save it," he says. "We're going to be fine."
Yeah, well...
"Nah," I say. "That's not it."
"What is it?" he asks.
"I like you and Ashley's mom together," I say. "I think you two are good for each other and I really like her, too. I know maybe this doesn't mean much, because I fuck up a lot of the time, but I love you, Dad, and I want you to be happy, and I'm glad you're happy with her."
My dad stays silent for awhile. I don't know if he's thinking of something to say or if I've said enough for the both of us. After awhile, we hear more noises. It's getting closer. I can hear the rustling of an animal in the forest outside of our cave. I don't even fucking know if you could consider this a cave, to be honest. It's a fucking small hole in a hill and it's not protecting us from shit, least of all a wolf.
"Thanks," my dad says. "That means a lot. I am happy, Ethan, but I want you to be happy, too."
"Do you really mean it or are you just saying that?" I ask him.
"Ethan, of course I mean it," he says.
Yeah, well, it's now or never. And by that I mean we're about to get attacked by a wolf or something, so...
I can hear it and see it standing there in front of us. It's dusk and dark and I can't see much besides the glint of yellow in its eyes and the white shine of
its teeth. My dad bristles and tenses, preparing for action. What kind of action do you even take in a situation like this. I move to stand a little, but I think I'd probably be better served with a kick.
Fuck if I know why. Just seems easier to kick a wolf than to punch it, don't you think? What, you want me to drag the wolf into a headlock and choke it out or something? Nah...
Alright, so, now or never. I'm not going to hold off anymore. No more procrastinating or waiting for the perfect moment because I don't know if I'll have any more moments after this.
"I love Ashley," I tell him. "We've been dating. That's who it is. My girlfriend. I was scared to tell you because I know you're going to think it's stupid and you think I'm going to fuck it up and I can't say I blame you because I think I'm going to fuck it up, too. I don't want to, though. I'm serious about this, Dad. I want to be with her, and, uh... fuck, I can't even do this anymore. I..."
The wolf is getting closer. I kick my foot out before it gets too close and it backs off and sits on its haunches, staring at us.
"...You and Ashley?" my dad asks. "Are you serious? Ethan, she's..."
"Yeah, yeah. Fuck! I know, alright? She's my stepsister. I get it. What's that even mean, though? Not a whole fucking lot. I never meant for this to happen. I've liked her for awhile now, but I know what kind of person I am and... look, why are we even doing this? I don't have to explain myself, and there's a fucking wolf right here, so, uh... just, yeah."
Except this is one really fucked up wolf. It howls again, lonely, just acting like it owns the place. Maybe it does. How fucked up would that be? We try to hide, but we enter the den of a wolf. Cool. Good fucking job. Go, us!
"What the fuck are you howling at?" I say to the wolf, because, you know, usually you expect wolves to answer your questions, right?
The fucking wolf barks at me. Seriously it barks. And it keeps barking.
My dad stares at it. I stare at it, too. Wait a second...
"You're not even a fucking wolf!" I yell at it.
It barks again, excited.
"Is that a dog?" my dad asks.
Yeah, fuck you, we were running away from a dog. You want to make something of it? If you hear a dog howling in the dark in the middle of the woods, you'd run away, too.
But, seriously, it could be a wild dog or something. Just because it's a dog, doesn't mean that...
Nah, this dog just lies down and stares at us. Fucking dog...
"Are you a nice dog or what?" I ask it.
It barks and starts panting at us.
"Well, get the fuck over here and let me pet you then!"
Look, I'm real good with dogs, alright? Don't you forget it.
The dog comes, though. It even holds out his paw.
"I'm not falling for that," I tell him. "I shake your hand then you bite me? Nah."
He flops onto his side and then rolls on his back.
"Alright, so maybe you aren't that dangerous."
He barks at me, excited, so I reach out and pat his stomach. I guess he likes that because he starts wriggling closer to me, then nudges his head against my foot.
"Come here," my dad says.
The dog gets up and sits on his back legs in front of us. We both take a good look at him. It's dark, but he's close, so it's easier.
And, yeah, he's kind of scary looking for a dog? German shepherd mix from the looks of it, so kind of wolf-like already, but those kinds of dogs get a bad rap for no reason a lot of the time. I'm kind of glad we found him, then. What would happen if some hunter saw him, and, uh... yup... not good.
"You're coming with us," I tell him.
He barks at me.
"Yeah, you like that, huh?"
"Ethan, we can't take him with us," my dad says.
"What, why not?" I ask.
"Uh... it's a dog?" he says.
"What the fuck kind of reason is that?" No, seriously, what the fuck?
"He could have fleas. In all likelihood he has fleas. He might even have an owner. Look, there's a collar right there."
"There's no tags, though," I point out, reaching for the collar and twisting it around. "It's dirty and old, too."
"We should bring him to an animal shelter, at least," my dad says. "This isn't a good place for him."
"Yeah, except we're lost," I add.
The dog barks. Now that he's got friends, he sure does like to bark. What was with the howling before? Maybe he was just lonely. It's cool, dog. I totally understand. I'd be lonely if I was lost in the woods, too.
The dog gets up and starts trying to lead us away or something.
"Are you Lassie or what?" I ask him.
He barks. I think that's dog for "Yes" but what the fuck do I know?
"Let's try to find our way back before it gets a lot darker," my dad says.
"Yeah," I say. "That's probably a good idea."
"And, Ethan?"
"Yeah?"
"Were you serious about you and Ashley before? What you said to me?"
"Yeah," I say. I don't know what else to say. I don't want to say more than that. I don't expect him to understand or agree with me, but I just want him to know.
"It's a lot to take in," my dad says. "Let's talk about it tomorrow. After we get back to the campsite, alright? It's too much for today, but I want to talk to you about it."
"Alright," I say.
I don't know if that's good or bad. I guess it's better than being eaten by a wolf, at any rate.
Pretty fucking sure I'm just being slobbered on by this dog, though. I reach out to pet him and he starts licking me and drooling all over my hand.
"Seriously?" I say to him. "That's gross."
We leave the cave and use the dwindling light of a fading sunset to make our way back to the makeshift path we were following. One thing that's nice is the darker it gets, the easier it is to make out any lights that are nearby. Which... yeah, well, there's none nearby, but I think there's some way over there, far ahead of us in the woods. Hopefully that means a campsite. Or evil faeries planning to lead us to our doom.
Fucking evil faeries, man... seriously, what kind of bullshit is that? Just pisses me off.
Also, holy shit, I think I just heard another howl. Pretty sure my dad did, too, and the dog's ears perk up.
"Uh... let's go," my dad says. "Now."
"Yeah, good idea," I say to him.
*** Ashley
Caleb becomes our fishing helper and ends up baiting all of our hooks. I'm not sure this is what he had in mind when he first showed up here, but he seems fine with it. It's actually kind of weird to me, because it's so different from how Ethan is. Caleb is helpful and nice, and I don't want to say that Ethan isn't helpful or nice, but, um...
I guess Ethan is, but in a different way? He's more of the commanding, take charge sort, while Caleb seems content to just help out with whatever someone needs help with. Which maybe my mom and I are using to our advantage right now, but Caleb seems to be enjoying himself, too.
Also, Caleb has a secret. Oh, yes, it's a very good secret, too.
He tried to avoid my mom's scrutinizing questions about him having a girlfriend, but my mom is really good at this kind of thing and Caleb couldn't guard himself for very long. He does not have a girlfriend, but...
"There is this one girl," Caleb says. "Uh... her name is Scarlet."
"Oh?" my mom asks. "How did you meet her?"
"She's my neighbor," Caleb says. "Back home, I mean. Not here. She's never been to the campground, though I've told her all about it."
"Is she interested?" my mom asks.
"You could invite her?" I add.
"Oh, er... no, I couldn't do that..." Caleb says.
A fish bites at my hook and I try to, um... fish it? I don't know! This is my first time fishing and honestly I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. A second later, it's no longer nibbling at the end of my line, though. I reel in the line and check and it's just eaten my worm and vanished!
Actually, I'
m relieved. I know we're supposed to be fishing, but I feel bad for the fish. Thankfully neither of us has caught any fish whatsoever, so mostly we're just feeding them worms. I feel like there's worse ways to spend your day. Plenty of people go to the park to feed the birds, right? This is like the same thing, except we're at a lake feeding the fish.
"Why can't you?" I ask Caleb while he baits a worm on my hook for me.
"This is going to sound weird," Caleb says. "Uh... Scarlet kind of reminds me of Ethan?"
"Oh," my mom says, nodding in complete understanding. "She's the bad girl type, is she?"
Caleb starts to blush. "Well, er... I don't... I don't know about that, uh..."
I suddenly feel an urgent need to help Caleb. I don't know why, I just... I want to help him. He's like me, isn't he? And I needed Ethan as my bad boy to show me what I was capable of. Caleb needs his bad girl, too. I think he does. Oh no, what if he doesn't? What if Scarlet isn't like Ethan at all and she's going to be mean to Caleb and treat him poorly?
Because, to be honest, I don't think all bad boys are good. Just Ethan, really. Actually, I don't even know because I've never really dealt with any besides him. I wouldn't consider Jake a bad boy, despite the fact that he's kind of a jerk. That's not what being a bad boy means, you know? It's completely different, and now I'm not sure how I feel about Scarlet.
"She's an art student," Caleb says, wistful. "She just started college last year. Well, I did, too, actually. I kind of maybe sort of applied to the college across the street from hers, because, uh... well, we hang out sometimes, but I'm not really like all of those other art school kids. I'm not as cool, I guess."
"No way," I say. "I think you're cool, Caleb. I bet she does, too. Why else would she hang out with you?"
Caleb shrugs. "I don't know? Because we've known each other forever, I guess. I don't think she hangs out with me for any other reason than that."
"I think you're wrong," I say. "Do you have her number?"
"Er... yes?"
"We're going to call her," I say. "What's she doing this summer? Is she home?"
"Probably, but I bet she's working on some big art project. She does lots of painting. She's really good."