Shackles of Honor

by Marcia Lynn McClure

  Cassidy’s mind whirled with thoughts and visions. It had been in vain, her attempt at deception. He already knew her mind, knew that she would not enter into the arrangement without full intent of fulfilling every aspect of it. What is wrong with me? she thought to herself as she looked up at him. She had only known him a matter of hours. She should despise him for being so commanding and honorable. But her soul spoke to her heart and mind. This was a man far above others in feature and character. Already she had entertained rather shallow thoughts of how envious other women would be when they saw her in his company. Already she found the need to fight her curiosity and wondering of what it must be like to be held in the arms of such a man. Already she knew she was undone. Her fate would be ensured with her next utterance to him, for she knew that already he owned her, that the longer she tried to hate him, the more she would not.

  “Come now,” he urged. “The truth. Will you endure my touch when the time comes, or shall we go to your parents forthwith?”

  “I agreed to do as my father bids me. I’m not one to taint my good word,” she muttered.

  “Then hate me, if you will, but give me your word now that you will nurture and…and…care for they who may be born of our union…that you’ll hold no resentment toward them because of who fathered them.” His demand had not been what she had expected, and she was momentarily speechless in light of it. “Your word then. Your word to me or I’ll go now to your father.”

  “No woman with a woman’s heart would do less than love her own children. My word.” Still Cassidy was unsettled. She had expected him to demand her affections, expected him to want her to bow to his will, but not to be concerned for the children they might have.

  “I’ll leave you to your peace then and go in search of my own.” He turned from her and strode powerfully away.

  She watched him walk away from her, shamelessly noting the perfect fit of his trousers and the manner of his stride. She watched him until he rounded the stable corner in the distance and was out of sight. No doubt he meant to spend time with his mount, the only being on Terrill land who did not resent him for being who he was.

  “Miss Cassidy!” It was Lynette, and Cassidy turned to see her approaching quickly from the direction of the house. “Excuse me, miss…but your father summons you to his study at once.”

  “Thank you, Lynette,” Cassidy whispered. Perhaps now she would be given some answers, some insight into why her fate was such as it was.

  

  When at last she reached the study, it was to hear angry voices, Ellis’s and her father’s, raised in frustration. Entering the study quickly, she noted her mother sitting in a large chair dabbing futilely at her tear-stained cheeks.

  “Close the door, if you will, Cassidy,” her father instructed. She did so and went to sit in a chair near to her mother. She straightened her posture. Always posture, even in the face of doom. Always posture.

  “Why him, Father?” Ellis fairly shouted.

  “You will lower your voice to me, son! And add a bit of respect to your tone!” Calvert ordered.

  Ellis drew in a deep breath in an attempt to calm his temper. “Very well. You’re right there, Father. But why this Mason Carlisle? From whence came he? Never have I heard you mention his name! Never in my twenty-two years have I heard that name. Yet he arrives suddenly to make his bold announcement that he is Cassidy’s betrothed, and his being such, whether at your will or not, I must act with polite decorum.”

  Calvert paused, the guilt and uncertainty evident again in his eyes. Cassidy was startled when her mother offered answer to Ellis’s question instead.

  “He’s the son of profoundly good people. His parents are LaMont and Devonna Carlisle, great friends of your father’s and mine. The best sort of human beings,” she affirmed.

  “Then why have we never met nor heard word of these people? If they be the best sort, why keep their existence from us?” Ellis was still angry.

  “It’s the dreaded family secret, isn’t it, Father?” Cassidy blurted out. All eyes turned on her. Her father’s held the most guilt. “Every family has a dreaded family secret. The untold story that, at some point, is the ruination of some family member. Somehow the Carlisle family is the Shea family secret, is it not, Father?”

  “There are…circumstances, things that will be told when every other part is in place. But…but for now, all I can tell you, Cassidy, is that I would never wed you to a man not worthy of you and of heaven. I can tell you that you will instantly fall in love with Mason’s parents.” Calvert glanced to Cylia for reassurance, and she nodded at her daughter, confirming her husband’s promise. “Mason is a profoundly good man, as well, my children,” he said, speaking to both Ellis and Cassidy. “Remember, he’s out of his element here. He knows that you both do not accept him. He knew it would be as such before he left his home to travel here. Think of his courage…knowing that Ellis would be the protective brother and that you, Cassidy, would appear to despise him from the moment he entered our home.”

  “The decision has been made, Father. I don’t mean to corrupt it. But why, Father? Why never a word of him until last night?” Cassidy begged. Her father was silent. Still, he straightened his posture, and she saw the familiar powerful resolve return to his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me of this before? Why such secrecy?”

  “You can find no fault with him, other than his brusque manner, can you, daughter?” Calvert asked directly. Cassidy could not respond before he spoke again. “Do you truly think young Gavin Clark more worthy of you than a man like Mason Carlisle?”

  “Gavin Clark?” Cassidy whispered, for she was scolding herself inwardly. Gavin. She had not thought of him since entering the dining room and laying eyes on Mason Carlisle the evening before. What good was her own heart if it would abandon such a man as Gavin so quickly?

  “Yes, darling, Gavin Clark,” Calvert repeated. “Do you think me so blind and narrow-minded as to not know that you have taken fancy to young Gavin? Do you think me so pompous and unfeeling that I would’ve denied you him were he worthy of you? Wealth and position fully considered, he would have my blessing were he worthy and were the circumstances different. But I say to you now, Cassidy, though it may be painful to hear and though you may not accept it immediately…Gavin Clark is not worthy of you or your love.”

  “And Mason Carlisle is?” Ellis spoke Cassidy’s own thoughts aloud.

  “Yes!” Cylia stated firmly. “Mason Carlisle is all that a man should be,” she added. “I have watched him grow. I have seen his strength in conviction, his compassion, his abilities, his power. He is all that I could ever wish for you, Cass.”

  “But…but you’re telling me, Mother,” Cassidy argued softly. “You’re telling me to marry for the sake of what should be the perfect man in the world’s eyes? Asking me to forsake every ideal I ever had of love, romantic companionship, friendship, for what you and Father deem worthy?”

  Cylia stood, walking to Cassidy and taking her hands in her own. “I promise you, darling, as your mother who more than understands and who wants only what you want and the best for her daughter…I promise you this, Cassidy. You will forsake nothing of your ideal. Can’t you look at the man and sense that he is everything in your ideal?”

  Cassidy shook her head and stood, pulling her hands from her mother’s as she went to gaze out the window tearfully.

  “Of course you cannot, for you do not know the boy as your father and I do.”

  “He is far from a boy, Mother,” Ellis reminded her.

  “No, darling,” Cylia corrected. “Lord Rapier is far from a boy. Mason is not so much further from it than you.”

  “He despises me, Mother. There is not a snitch of approval in his eye for me,” Cassidy mumbled.

  “How can he show approval of you when you and Ellis, even your mother and I, exude only rancorous animosity toward him?” Calvert asked.

  “Then you’ll give me no further answers or information, Father?” Cassidy asked.
“You will gift me…rather send me into slavery with a man who is stranger to me than anyone?”

  “The answers will come, Cassidy, when the time is at hand that you have most need of them.”

  “Forgive me then, Father,” Cassidy said, turning to face him, “for I can see no time in the future that information concerning this man and his obligation to me would be more needed by me.” She fled from the room in tears.

  “Cass! Cass!” It was Ellis at her heels. Suddenly his strong, protective arm was about her shoulder, and he walked with her, directing her out onto the south balcony. “All will be well, Cass. I am certain of it,” came his surprising and ineffective words of comfort. “To be completely truthful, Cass…I rather like him.”

  Cassidy’s mouth gaped open in utter astonishment at her brother’s unbelievable opinion. “What?” she fairly screeched. “What do you mean, you like him?”

  Ellis shrugged his broad shoulders, seeming puzzled himself as he answered her emotional question. “I do, Cass. Oh, I’m not blind to the heavy curtain he wears before his face. It does mask his opinions…his emotions other than anger and aggravation. But it is obvious that he is honorable, that he is a man of great moral character. And even you cannot deny that he is nearly as handsome a man as I am.” Ellis smiled and winked at his sister teasingly.

  “How can you side with him, Ellis? How can you betray me so?” Cassidy brushed a tear from her cheek.

  “I’m not siding with him, Cass. I…I just think that since we find ourselves in this predicament…well, perhaps it would be better to find things about it to help us endure.” Ellis took his sister in his embrace, holding her securely against the warmth of his protective chest.

  “We are not in this predicament. I am in this predicament,” Cassidy cried.

  “If it has been done to you, dear one, it has been done to me.” Ellis kissed the top of her head affectionately and then spoke again. “I just don’t understand Father and Mother’s secrecy about all this. It’s blatantly apparent that this was done for some reason other than saving one family or the other from financial ruin. And name and posterity seem to have no bearing. Father has never spoken the name of Carlisle to me before the man arrived.”

  “I no longer care why this was done! It wouldn’t make it any more endurable no matter what the reason,” Cassidy sobbed.

  “It might. You can’t say that it wouldn’t when you do not know the reason.”

  Cassidy sighed heavily and hugged her brother tightly. “I know you’re right, Ellis. But still…to marry such an angry stranger. What if he is a monster? What if he beats me to death or feeds me to the eels in his moat or…”

  Ellis chuckled. “Oh, Cass. How you do go on. Take a moment to sense his spirit, my love. You’ll not be so fearful, I guarantee that. I’ve the feeling that he knows why this has all been arranged as it has…that he does not approve of the reasoning yet is bound by duty to honor it. No doubt his reaction would’ve been similar to your own had he been nearer your age when it was thrust upon him.”

  “I don’t want to know him. He is a beast, and I prefer to view him for what he is.”

  Ellis was silent for a moment. Then, thoughtfully, he suggested, “Perhaps Mason Carlisle himself would tell you, Cass. If you asked him.”

  “Tell me what? How your mind does conjure at times.” Cassidy gently pushed herself from Ellis’s embrace and stood frowning at him.

  “Tell you why this was arranged.”

  For a moment, a small glimmer of hope sparked within Cassidy. Yes. Perhaps if she were to simply ask it of him. Perhaps he would…

  “No. He despises me. It probably gives him great amusement to see me squirm so.”

  “How can he despise you, sister, when he doesn’t even know you? When he has never been as lucky as Gavin Clark in tasting of your kiss?” Ellis winked at Cassidy.

  Cassidy sighed in exasperation. “Can you not be serious for the short span of a few minutes, Ellis?”

  “I’m quite serious, Cass. Why not try it out on him? Seduce the man into telling you with one of your kisses that so vanquishes Gavin’s resolve.”

  “I would rather be beaten and thrown to the eels,” Cassidy mumbled. She didn’t tell Ellis of the unexpected thrill that warmed the inner cavity of her chest at the thought of kissing Mason Carlisle. It was too unnatural and highly unexplained.

  “I don’t know how else to help you then, Cass. You’ve chosen the pathway of honor…as no doubt Mason has. Therefore, you must live with that choice, and it’s up to you. Whether or not you want to admit it…your ability to endure this is up to you and no other.” Ellis bent and kissed Cassidy affectionately on the cheek before leaving her alone on the south balcony.

  

  It was there that Cassidy stood for some time, staring down at the stables below as she thought to herself of her impending doom. Her attention was arrested immediately, however, as Mason Carlisle himself exited the stable unexpectedly, leading his magnificent bay behind him. Stopping just outside the stable, he began to brush the animal meticulously, and Cassidy rolled her eyes at his obvious pride and vanity where the animal was concerned. Then, strangely, the wind drifting toward her caught his voice as he spoke to the animal, and she could clearly hear his words. They surprised her, for they were not complimentary words of pride in the animal’s appearance as she thought they would be.

  “Well, my man…the deed is done. The girl despises me for it, as I had no doubt she would. Poor child. I can more than sympathize with her plight. Still, she is honor-bound and old enough, though young, to face the deed that she must do with dignity. She was rather whiny about it. Simpering and feeling sorry for herself.”

  Cassidy bit her tongue, which wished to lash out verbally at him in her own defense. But she needed to watch him, somehow. He was alone, and she sensed his defenses were lowered somewhat. So she eavesdropped as he continued to groom his mount.

  “I’ve no doubt—for I sense a streak of rebellion in her—I’ve no doubt that she has some secret beau to whom she must tell the tale…as I must remind Gabrielle upon our return to the manor.”

  “Gabrielle?” Cassidy whispered aloud. So this man, this stranger that was to be her husband, had a lover. How predictable, she thought angrily. How it vexed her completely for some reason to know it. And to think that Ellis dubbed him to be a moral man.

  “Gabrielle,” he sighed. “How I dread that confrontation.”

  Mason continued to brush the animal in silence for some time. Then he resumed his one-sided conversation.

  “I wish Father had been well enough to make this trip with me. No doubt the girl would have taken to him and perhaps had an easier time accepting what must be. I dislike leaving Father and Mother for this long, you know that. But I feel it only fair that the girl at least become more familiar with me before she is forced to live at the manor among others that are as completely unknown to her as am I. For you know, my man…for all that I am unlikable, intolerable, and repulsive…I am not totally lacking in compassion.”

  “Then you have one small virtue at least,” Cassidy mumbled to herself. She had decided to turn, leaving him to his personal conversation with the animal, but she paused as he mumbled irritatedly under his breath and stripped himself of his vest and tossed it up onto the animal’s back.

  “No doubt Mathias will drive Mother to chaining him outside with missing us, eh?” He paused in his grooming of the animal, seemingly irritated. “You know, my man…the worst part of the whole situation is having to stay suitably dressed every living moment of the day.”

  He began to roll up his sleeves, and Cassidy’s eyebrows rose as he then unbuttoned several of the upper buttons of his shirt. The muscles in his forearms were uncommonly developed, and he looked almost…almost approachable and even more attractive. He continued with his grooming, and Cassidy held her breath as she saw young Robin Clark, Gavin’s small brother, approach the man, a small puppy at his heels.

  “Good day, milord,” th
e lad greeted. Cassidy wanted to call out to the boy, to warn him of Mason Carlisle’s gruff manner. But she knew she could not reveal her place at the balcony, for then Mason would know she had been compromising his privacy by eavesdropping. She rolled her eyes, irritated with herself for possessing such an abominably hedonistic inclination.

  “Good day to you, lad,” Mason greeted in return. Cassidy was astounded as he hunkered down before the boy, taking the puppy in his hands and petting it as he smiled in an almost friendly manner. “What’s his name then, boy?”

  “Traveler,” Robin answered proudly.

  “Traveler,” Mason repeated. “A fine name. It speaks of strength and adventure.”

  Robin smiled, flattered by the man’s compliment. “Have you seen the young miss of the house about, milord?” Robin asked innocently enough. Cassidy began to tremble with anxiety, for she knew that Gavin often sent written messages to her through Robin.

  “Not of late,” Mason replied. “You would not happen to be Miss Cassidy’s beau, would you?”

  “No,” Robin replied, a perplexed expression on his face. Cassidy sighed relievedly until the youngster burst out, “I’m his brother!”

  “Ah!” Mason muttered triumphantly. “And what would be your brother’s name then, lad?”

  “Gavin. Gavin Clark.” The boy dropped his voice and said, “But, milord…no one is to know that he admires her, you see.”

  “Is that so?” Mason asked, lowering his voice as well.

  Cassidy turned and fled into the house and down the nearest staircase, running as fast as she could out to the stable yards. When she arrived there, it was in time to see that Mason had returned the puppy to his owner and now stood reading a small piece of paper familiar in appearance to Cassidy. Mason did not look startled to see her approaching, and as his eyes captured hers intently, he slowly refolded the paper and tucked it into the waist of his trousers.

  “Well, there you are then, lad. Tell your brother that you accomplished your task. And this is for your trouble.” Mason handed the boy a large coin.