Shackles of Honor

by Marcia Lynn McClure

  “I can’t imagine, Mother,” Mason mumbled in response, though he looked at Cassidy and rubbed the whiskers on his chin knowingly.

  “Excuse me, milady. I’m ever so tired. I think I will take your advice and retire immediately.”

  Without waiting for a response, Cassidy fairly fled down the corridor until she was safely in her own room. After stopping for a moment to draw in a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself and control her trembling, she dashed to the looking glass to investigate her shoulder. Certainly there was a very discernable rash over her shoulder, along her neck, and even on her left cheek.

  Katie entered almost immediately. “The mistress says you’ve a rash, miss. I’ve brought water and a cloth. I was coming up with them just now anyway. Let me have a look,” Katie babbled.

  “Oh, no. I’m fine,” Cassidy assured her, backing away. But Katie inspected the area anyway, and Cassidy blushed as one of the girl’s eyebrows arched suspiciously.

  “Well, miss…I’d say the red dress got his attention all right. That is the rash of a lover’s meeting if ever I saw one!”

  “Nonsense, Katie,” Cassidy argued, turning from her. “I simply have a case of nerves. And who would blame me for being so weakened?”

  “No one, miss,” Katie giggled, grinning suspiciously as she took the slippers Cassidy removed from her feet and handed to her.

  “It only stands to reason, after all. In the past two weeks I’ve gone from blissful ignorance…to being betrothed, to being humiliated, to being abandoned, to…” Cassidy babbled on, all the while Katie nodding and grinning knowingly. “Oh, Katie!” Cassidy exclaimed in a heavy, defeated sigh. “Just leave me to my misery and humiliation this night. I’m so tired that I think I shall lie down here upon the cold floor and go to sleep.”

  “Put yourself in the comfort of your bed first, miss. You’ll sleep all the better,” Katie told her with a wink. “I’ll see you in the morning then, miss.”

  “Good night, Katie,” Cassidy said with a smile.

  “Good night, miss.”

  Cassidy was once again alone in her chamber. After removing her cursed red gown, she stood before the looking glass in her camisole and petticoats. The outbreak of tiny red bumps along her left shoulder, neck, and face was certainly visible, and she felt the area with her hand, reveling in the memory of Mason Carlisle’s attentions there.

  Oh, he was flawless! Flawless in appearance and flawless in the art of seduction. Pirate, indeed! Skilled in the piracy of women, piratically acquiring their hearts and minds at a whim. She closed her eyes for a moment and could well envision herself attired in that cursed red gown and captive on a ship manned by men with earrings and large tattoos, their teeth yellowed and some missing, gold earrings dangling from their ears, gold bracelets at their wrists. All the foulest of men save their captain, who was a runaway nobleman, handsome as the heavens, as strong as the sea, and as alluring to a woman as the siren’s song to any man.

  She opened her eyes and turned from the looking glass. Hurriedly, she finished readying for bed, hoping sleep would bring her some reprieve for an aching heart and mind.

  As she lay on her pillow, praying for rest from the torture of loving a man who could never return her love, she thought about Marietta Longswold Rapier. Could it be that Marietta was in actuality the fortunate one? For she would not have the physical attraction immediately to Lord Rapier that Cassidy had to Mason. Then again, perhaps she too would fall in love with the man and endure a torture similar to which Cassidy was fated. It was too much to consider. Rest would help, beloved sleep. Escape.

  

  Escape there was for several hours. And then, in the deep of the night, Cassidy’s slumber was disturbed. Voices? Had she heard voices? Quietly she lay in her bed listening. Yes, voices—deep, masculine voices. Raised in anger? Rising from her bed, she took her robe from its place at the foot of her bed and wrapped it securely about her. Then, leaving the warmth and safety of her chamber, she ventured into the corridor. Yes, angry voices and coming from the direction of Lord Carlisle’s room. Carefully she crept down the corridor until she was near the great man’s chambers. She could well discern the conversation taking place within.

  “It is cowardice!” Lord Carlisle’s voice boomed.

  “It is business and well you know it! Like everything else in my life!” It was Mason who responded.

  “A fortnight before the betrothal ball, and you abandon her?” Lord Carlisle asked demandingly.

  “I go to save her precious pride!” Mason countered. “And my own sanity! Her brother will be here soon enough. It is he for whom she longs, to whom she looks for protection. I’ve no further service to render her now, and the matter of the property in Haggarty is pressing.”

  “You run from responsibility like a spoiled boy!”

  There was a long pause, and then Mason argued calmly, “Whenever I may have run, Father…it was not to shirk my responsibility. ’Tis well you know how fully committed I am to this agreement with Lord Shea. I go to Haggarty simply to conduct business and to give the girl respite from doing battle with me every blessed day!”

  He was leaving her? Cassidy felt suddenly sick. Panic gripped her. He would leave her? Escape for a time from the duty that bound him to her? Why, oh, why had she vexed him so? Why could she not be satisfied without his attention and let him go about his life without ever wanting to provoke him?

  “There is another reason, my son,” Lord Carlisle said, softer now, suspicion evident in his tone. “What is it? Confess it to me now.”

  “There is no other reason, Father. Business demands that I go, as does assuring the girl’s good reputation.”

  “Reputation? How could your staying here damage her reputation? I would venture to accuse that your going would damage it further than your staying ever could.”

  “Put yourself in my own boots for a moment, my father,” Mason said. He spoke so quietly that Cassidy now had trouble discerning his words. “You caught vision of her last night, did you not? In that red gown? As well you saw me last night. Now tell me that I do not go to secure her reputation.”

  She could listen no more. Humiliation was permeating every pore of her body. He had been disapproving of the red gown. She had known it. He knew that she wore the gown to gain his attention, and she must now live with the humiliation that he had knowledge of her wiles.

  Quickly she returned to her room and to her bed. Quietly she sobbed into her pillow, unable to stop her tears of torment until she heard the sound of a horse at a gallop somewhere outside. Leaping from her bed, she dashed to the window in time to see Mason astride his magnificent bay at a dead gallop away from Carlisle Manor. He was fleeing. For the first time in this awkward, fated relationship, he fled from her. The ache in her bosom was so unexpectedly great she was left breathless for a moment. In that instant, she let her mind admit to her heart that he was beginning to own her. Against her good judgment, against her conviction to endure and not be lost in an obsession for him, he was owning her. With each passing moment, with each time that she looked at him, watched him walk into a room, observed the way he enjoyed the company of those he accepted, she belonged to him more wholly.

  “I am lost to him,” she whispered aloud to herself. She wondered how she would endure his escaping her, no doubt often, throughout her life to come. For inevitably he would lose patience with her quickly and often, finding excuse to leave his own house to escape her—to escape the shackles of honor that kept him to her.

  Chapter Eight

  Cassidy, darling,

  Your father was indeed seriously injured. It seems a bone in his leg is broken, and he sustained a gruesome cut on his forehead. Fortunately, darling, he is well, rather frustrated with not being able to get about easily, but well and in good health otherwise.

  Darling, I am so sorry to have left you. However, I know you are strong and that Devonna and LaMont already love you as their own. Ellis will arrive soon. I have received word that he
is en route to you. Your father should be well enough to make the journey to attend the betrothal, and we look forward to reuniting with you!

  We find a great emptiness, loneliness, and sorrow at living here without you and Ellis. Our children are our lives as you will someday understand, and we are life unto each other as I feel you are already beginning to understand.

  Soon at your side, my darling.

  Lovingly yours,

  Mother

  “Is all well, dove?” Devonna asked. Her expression was that of great concern and curiosity.

  “Father has broken his leg,” Cassidy answered. Devonna gasped, and Cassidy continued, “But all is well. They shall be here for the ball.”

  “Thankfully,” Devonna sighed. “And what of Ellis?”

  “He should be here soon. Mother has received word from him.”

  Spreading a generous amount of strawberry preserves on a warm biscuit, Devonna confessed, “Actually, I’ve enjoyed having you all to myself this week, Cassidy. I know it was most likely terribly boring for you, but I’ve reveled in your attention. I shall have to share you with far too many people from now on, I’m afraid.”

  Cassidy smiled. She too had enjoyed her time with Devonna and LaMont Carlisle. They had become great friends. She found so much to love and enjoy about them. In the week since Mason had left, Devonna and Cassidy had spent many hours planning for the betrothal ball, endured fittings for their dresses, and talked much. Devonna was an open, honest, and sincere woman, a woman who had endured much and loved much and still loved. A woman trying to prepare herself for the loss of the love of her life and a woman looking forward to what life still had to offer.

  LaMont Carlisle had worsened since his son’s departure, but still he insisted on Cassidy’s visiting him daily. He was always amusing, complimentary, and loving with her, telling her stories of his days in the military and adventures overseas. She delighted in his company and liked to imagine that someday Mason would enjoy her company as much as his father and mother apparently did.

  There had been no word from Mason. Each night in her dreams and often in the days as she was wide awake, she remembered his lips on hers so briefly in the corridor before Mathias interrupted them. She closed her eyes and breathed heavily, trying to remember the scent of his hair, the smell of his skin. Often she found herself standing before the large pirate portrait in the grand hallway of portraits, studying every line of his face and body, every jewel that adorned him, the rebellious expression in his youthful eyes. And, oh, how she yearned to look upon him once more, to be startled by the pure magnificence of his masculine good looks. Her arms, waist, and shoulders ached for his embrace. At times her body would felt cold and tired. She knew that were he close to glare at her and take hold of her arm roughly in reprimand, she would feel strong and warm again.

  “Good morning, dear sisters!” Vesta Ashmore called cheerily as she entered the breakfast room. “Darlings, you look lovely! Devonna, I swear you grow younger daily.”

  “Vesta!” Devonna greeted brightly. “Come. Sit and have some of Syndle’s delicious strawberry preserves with us. Come, come, now.”

  Vesta shook her head, saying, “No, no, Devonna. My corset stays are uncomfortable as it is, but I will sit and chat for a moment.”

  “Wherever are the girls today? Did they not wish to come to see us?” Devonna asked.

  Cassidy was greatly relieved not to have to face Gabrielle again. She hadn’t seen her since the evening when she wore the red dress, the evening she experienced Mason’s touch and light kiss for herself. She feared that were she to lay eyes upon the beautiful Gabrielle Ashmore once more, her memories of Mason’s arms about her, his mouth beginning to instruct her in accepting a man’s kiss, would be tainted somehow.

  “Denay is out and about with her brothers, and Gabrielle has been gone a week already up to Haggarty to visit her aunt and uncle there,” Vesta informed them, taking a warm muffin and slathering it with preserves.

  Instantly Cassidy felt as if she might vomit. Her stomach was so completely sickened by Vesta’s revelation that she stood, steadying herself at the edge of the table.

  Vesta seemed unaware of Cassidy’s sudden illness and prattled on. “Oh, are you just so entirely excited about the ball, Devonna? You’ve so much yet to do, I’m certain! And, Cassidy, how is your dress coming along?”

  “F-fine,” Cassidy managed. “Will you excuse me, please? I…think I’ve overeaten this morning.”

  “Of course, darling. It’s easy to do with Syndle’s preserves. Do you want me to send Katie up to you?” Devonna asked, seemingly ignorant to what matter had truly upset Cassidy.

  “No, no. I think I’ll walk awhile,” Cassidy said, turning from them to hide her tears.

  “Fresh air. Always the best medicine if you ask me,” Vesta commented.

  Cassidy heard no more of their conversation, heard not their bidding her well. Quickly she made her way out of the house, stepping just outside the front doors of Carlisle Manor.

  “Mason,” her voice breathed as she covered her mouth to prevent the contents of her stomach from escaping her throat. He’d gone to Haggarty to be with Gabrielle! There was no other explanation as to why Gabrielle would be there—or to why Mason would be there. They were together! In each other’s arms, no doubt—Gabrielle tasting of Mason’s kiss, the kiss Cassidy had so often dreamt of since he left. And then, as if in answer to a prayer for strength, Cassidy heard the sound of an approaching horse. Looking up, she burst into tears and ran to Ellis as he dismounted. Powerfully he caught her in his arms, stroking her hair as she sobbed against him.

  “Cass, darling! Whatever has happened?” he asked. She could not answer him so great was her sorrow and so forceful her tears. A stablehand appeared, and Ellis handed him the reins to his mount. Then he led Cassidy away from such a public place, down toward the lake. “Darling, what? I’m here, Cass…your Ellis. I’ve come to your side. I’ve come to you.”

  Finally, after long minutes, Cassidy was able to raise her head and look at him. “He has gone to her, Ellis,” she sobbed. “He has gone to her in Haggarty!”

  “What? Who has gone to Haggarty? Who is she, and who is he?” he asked in legitimate ignorance.

  “Mason,” she sobbed, turning from her brother. All her life Ellis had been security and comfort to Cassidy. He was even now, but somehow his warm, brotherly embrace was not satisfying to her sorrow. “Mason has a lover…a mistress, Ellis. And…and she’s with him in Haggarty.”

  “Mason? A mistress, Cass? Nonsense! Not such as he,” Ellis argued, though he did not sound completely convinced of his own argument.

  “He does! And she is so beautiful, Ellis. He…he told me that he had given her up. I even heard…he told me that she was not such to him. But then…a week ago he left to do business in Haggarty, and I’ve only just been told that she has been in Haggarty this past week as well!”

  “You’re mistaken, darling. Mason is not the sort of man to trifle with women—to blacken any woman’s good name.”

  Cassidy turned on him, furious at his traitorous words. “How can you defend him? You know him less than I! I’ve lived in his home! Seen him in social situations with her! I’ve been here enduring his feelings for her! How dare you come here and tell me of his character?”

  Ellis was quiet for a moment. A frown puckered his brow deeply. “I had no idea that you were so deeply in love with him already, Cass,” he said in almost a whisper.

  “Love has nothing whatsoever to do with it, Ellis!” It was the first time she had ever lied to her brother. “My reputation is at stake!”

  “Folderol, Cass. He captured your heart the minute you first saw him, and do not pretend to me any further.”

  “I cannot endure this, Ellis. I cannot! I cannot go through my life living this way!”

  “Darling, I have something I should say.” His manner was uncharacteristically serious, and it captured Cassidy’s attention at once. “Father and I had a great falli
ng out over this matter. Oh, yes…for your sake, I was decent to Mason once the announcement had been made, and I realized that you had made your decision in favor of him. But that’s only because I didn’t want to put further doubt and agony in your heart. I assumed that if I accepted him—or at least appeared to be attempting to accept him—that it might go easier for you. But once you had gone…I confronted Father, telling him the wrong of this. I asked how he could have given you…sold his own daughter to an angry stranger such as Mason Carlisle. Father challenged me then to find something to demean Mason’s character, something to prove him to be anything but what he appears and claims.

  “This mission I took to heart, Cass. I sought out everyone who had ever known Mason Carlisle. Though that may be an exaggeration, it certainly seemed to be the truth at times. I’ve worn myself to an unhealthy state in trying to prove to Father Mason’s unworthiness of you, trying to prove it to myself, perhaps. And yet, my darling, there is nothing, nothing save one impetuous act as a youth, to promote any form of dishonor to Mason Carlisle. There are not even the rumors that accompany a man of his stature. None. No whisperings of mistresses, no misdealings where business is concerned. I say to you that the one thing I did hear of him was nothing more than the natural rebellion of youth.”

  “His ambition was piracy. I know of it…if it is that to which you refer,” Cassidy offered, her sobbing slowing as she listened to her brother’s report.

  “So you know of Mason the pirate?” Ellis asked, smiling. “Then you know him—know him as well as anyone. For it seems to be the only questionable act of his entire life!”