Wives & Mothers

by Jeanne Whitmee

  Elaine turned to look at her small daughter. ‘He and Granny decided not to live together a long time ago, darling. They don’t see each other any more.’

  ‘Don’t they even write letters to each other?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I wish he did know about me,’ Tricia said wistfully. ‘We could talk about music together, couldn’t we?’

  Since Mary had moved into Langmere Lodge and complained about Tricia’s practising, Grace had offered to let the child practise at her house for an hour after school each evening. The two had always been close, but the practice sessions seemed to have drawn them even closer. Elaine discovered that they talked a lot about her father over tea before Grace brought Tricia home. Later Paul brought the subject up again.

  ‘Why is your mother filling the child’s head with fanciful half-truths about your father?’ he asked as they sat over a late cup of coffee after Tricia had gone to bed.

  ‘I don’t know that they’re half-truths,’ Elaine said defensively. ‘He did play with some well-known bands, and when he and Stella Rainbow...’

  ‘It’s all rather unsavoury,’ Paul interrupted with a look of distaste. ‘The man was obviously an inveterate womaniser. I don’t think I want Tricia going about mentioning that she’s connected with him or that singer woman. It’s just possible that someone might remember the name and connect us with the scandal. Perhaps you’d have a word with your mother next time you see her.’

  ‘No, I won’t.’ Elaine said hotly. ‘He was — and still is — my father, and as far as I’m concerned he was never anything but a good musician and a kind man.’

  ‘So kind that he walked out on you,’ Paul sneered. ‘I can’t see what your mother’s got to be so proud of.’

  Anger rose like a ball of fire in Elaine’s chest. ‘At least he was normal,’ she said.

  Colour flooded Paul’s face and his eyes glinted as he stared at her. ‘And just what is that supposed to mean?’

  Elaine rose on trembling legs. ‘It means what it says,’ she said. ‘I’ve never known what happened between my parents to cause the failure of their marriage but I do know that my father was a normal, affectionate man. At least my mother was never starved of love. He never shut her out.’

  He rose to face her, his face flushing. For a moment she thought he was about to say something, then his eyes slid away from hers and he turned and walked out of the room.

  *

  It was the next morning after breakfast that Mary brought up the subject of the Severini. Paul and Tricia had left for school and Elaine had begun to clear the table when Mary said: ‘Your bedroom door was open yesterday. I couldn’t help noticing that that picture had gone. You know, that one with all the colours.’

  Elaine didn’t look up as she loaded dishes on to her tray. ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes. Have you put it away? Don’t you and Paul like it any more?’

  Elaine met her mother-in-law’s eyes. ‘As you know quite well, Mother, I’ve sold the picture. I’m sure you even know the price it fetched.’

  Mary’s face turned a dull red. ‘Are you accusing me of evesdropping.’

  Elaine lifted the tray and walked towards the door. ‘No, Mother. I’m just stating a fact. You were listening on the extension when I got the call. I heard you hang up.’

  She was unloading the tray in the kitchen when Mary, silent on her slippered feet, appeared at her elbow. ‘It happened that I was about to make a call myself,’ she said. ‘I heard your conversation quite by accident.’

  Elaine ran hot water into the sink. ‘Really?’

  ‘Does Paul know?’

  ‘I haven’t told him.’ Elaine said pointedly.

  ‘Well, I certainly haven’t.’ Mary paused, watching thoughtfully as Elaine began to wash up; making no attempt to help. ‘I know he’s against you going into business,’ she said at last. ‘What would he say about your selling the picture behind his back in order to do it, I wonder?’

  ‘The picture happens to be mine,’ Elaine told her. ‘It was a present, given to me before Paul and I were married. It was mine to sell and I sold it.’

  ‘A very special kind of present. Who could have given you that, I wonder?’ Mary’s eyes glinted provocatively, but when Elaine did not rise to the bait she went on: ‘When you have a windfall like that it hardly seems fair to let poor Paul pay for that expensive boarding school for Patricia. I’m surprised that you don’t want to contribute.’

  Elaine rounded on her. ‘As he chose to send her there it’s only fair that he should bear the cost,’ she said. ‘I didn’t want her to go away from home, especially so young. She could have got a scholarship to St Jasper’s but Paul wouldn’t hear of it. Anyway, I daresay you’ll be relieved to have her out of your house too.’

  Her slight emphasis on the word ‘your’ brought the colour to Mary’s face again. ‘That’s a downright wicked thing to say.’

  ‘Is it? She isn’t even allowed to practise her music at home now. I have to send her to my mother’s.’

  Mary frowned. ‘Your mother is younger than me. Maybe she can stand all that endless sawing and wailing. I have to think of my nerves.’

  Elaine laughed. ‘You have nerves of reinforced steel, Mother. And since you’re so upset at the thought of my going into business when Paul is against it, why did you offer to lend me money yourself?’ Mary’s eyes bulged with rage. ‘Well...’ she spluttered. ‘I like that. I allow you to live here rent free, I offer to lend you money in spite of all the inconveniences I have to suffer, and all I get are accusations and abuse.’ She pressed her lips into a tight line. ‘I shall speak to Paul about this, you can depend on it.’

  ‘As always, I daresay you’ll do exactly what suits you,’ Elaine said wearily. ‘I can’t stop you, can I?’

  *

  Elaine often reflected that the house her mother had bought for her retirement was very like the one they had lived in Stanmore. When she collected Tricia on the following Friday afternoon the thought struck her yet again as she pushed open the front gate. The leaded bay windows at the front looked out on to a neat front garden, bright with spring flowers, and the white-painted garage doors enclosed the smart little sports car which was a recent acquisition. Grace answered her ring at the doorbell, her face wreathed in smiles.

  ‘Go through. Tricia’s helping me with tea in the kitchen. You will stay, won’t you? Morgan’s here.’

  Elaine nodded. ‘I’d love to. Paul is staying on at school for a staff meeting.’

  She found Morgan sitting in his favourite armchair in the living room; a very different Morgan from the shabby, gangling young man who’d walked into their lives eight years before. Now his clothes were exquisitely cut and his shoes hand-made. The once unruly mop of hair was now elegantly styled by a fashionable London coiffeur. He rose when she came into the room and held out his arms to give her an affectionate hug.

  ‘Elaine, it’s good to see you.’

  ‘You too. Are you here for the weekend?’

  ‘Yes, and a much needed rest. I’ve been over to Switzerland finalising some new outlets there.’

  ‘How exciting. What kind of outlets?’

  ‘Mainly apres-ski wear — you know the kind of thing. The Swiss love good knitwear.’

  Elaine settled herself in a chair opposite him. ‘I thought you had high-powered business people to do all that for you nowadays.’

  He smiled. ‘I do, but I’m in the process of buying a little place over there, so I thought I’d combine business with pleasure. It helps to make personal contact too, I always think. The house is in Davos. I fell in love with the place a first sight. You’d love it too, Elaine.’

  She sighed wistfully. ‘I’m sure I would. Paul hates holidays abroad. He says he gets enough of them, going over with the school party each year.’

  Morgan frowned. He’d never liked Paul. He had formed opinions of his own about him long ago, but had never confided them to anyone.

  ‘In that case you must b
ring Tricia over in the holidays,’ he said. ‘Maybe Grace will go with you. Have the place for as long as you like.’

  ‘That’s very generous of you, Morgan. Maybe we’ll take you up on it.’

  He leaned forward. ‘I hear from Grace that you have the pleasure of Mary’s company again.’

  She sighed. ‘Pleasure is hardly the word.’

  ‘No need to elaborate.’ He smiled sympathetically. ‘Tricia played for me. She’s coming along well, isn’t she? I heard all about her new school. She’s so excited.’

  ‘I’m grateful and relieved that she’s looking forward to it, of course, but...’

  ‘You’ll miss her? But you’ll be busy with your new venture soon.’

  She laughed. ‘I can see that Mum has stolen all my thunder. Is there anything left for me to tell you?’

  He looked searchingly into her eyes. ‘You can tell me if you’re happy, Elaine.’

  His eyes held hers until she dragged them away to stare down at her hands. ‘I daresay I’m as happy as I deserve to be, Morgan. No one’s life is a bed of roses, is it?’

  ‘I think life is what we make it,’ he said carefully. ‘Sometimes it’s all too easy to drift along, but life is too short to waste. We should take opportunities when they come along. I haven’t forgotten what Grace did for me. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for her.’

  ‘Nonsense. You had talent and flair.’

  ‘But Grace had the drive and the business head I was sadly lacking. If it hadn’t been for her I’d still have been hawking my hand-knits from door to door and living in that awful dingy room with the view of the cemetery.’

  Elaine laughed. ‘I don’t think I quite believe that, but I do get the message.’

  ‘Good. Basically I’m wishing you luck. And if I can help you and Alison in any way, you know where I am,’ he said. ‘I’ve got plenty of good contacts now. Maybe you’ll need some good publicity pictures — a feature in one of the glossy fashion mags. One good turn deserves another. Remember, I mean it, Elaine. Anything you want, just get in touch.’

  She smiled at him. ‘Thanks, Morgan. I will.’

  *

  For a whole week Elaine and Alison walked round the town, armed with a street map and a directory of businesses. They talked to car-hire firms, florists, printers and photographers. Besides the firms they had listed, they found a place that hired out marquees and another where a horse and carriage could be rented for the occasion. They talked to hairdressers and beauty salons. At the end of it all their limbs ached, they had blisters on their feet and their throats were hoarse from talking. But if their energy was flagging, their spirits certainly weren’t. Some of the firms they had approached had reservations but most thought their ideas made sense. They agreed that it was much better to co-ordinate and work together, and they seemed happy to put the organisation into the hands of the two enthusiastic young women trading under the name of ‘Happy Ever After’.

  The following week they made the trip up to London to look at the dresses Grace had laid on for them at one of the fashion houses she once did business with. They chose twelve to begin with, in assorted sized. Then they went on to a fabric warehouse where Elaine chose materials for those she intended to make herself. Fingering the beautiful silks and satins, laces and tulles, she felt excitement tingling through her veins. What had seemed like an improbable dream was really going to happen. She and Alison were going to create something worthwhile — something that would be theirs alone. She couldn’t wait to begin.

  *

  The list of pupils’ uniform and requirements arrived from St Cecilia’s in the same post as the invitation for Paul to attend the head teachers’ conference. He left for Harrogate on the following Friday evening and on Saturday Elaine took Tricia into town to order her new uniform and buy all the things she would need. As a special treat they had lunch at The Old Cottage. Tricia chattered excitedly over her favourite fish and chips, followed by ice-cream. She seemed to be looking forward so much to the new school that Elaine felt a little twinge of hurt at her eagerness to be off.

  When they came out of the restaurant it had started to rain and Elaine drew Tricia back into the doorway while she opened her umbrella. They had just stepped out onto the pavement when a car drew up at the kerb close by.

  ‘Hi there. Want a lift?’ A hand reached across to open the door and a curly head looked out at them. Elaine stared in disbelief. ‘Tom! Where did you spring from?’

  He laughed. ‘Never mind that. Get in the pair of you, you’re getting soaked.’

  As they piled in he introduced himself to Tricia in characteristic fashion: ‘Hello, shrimp. I’m Tom Carne. What’s your name?’ Tricia eyed him solemnly. ‘Patricia Anne Kingston.’

  He reached into the back of the car and shook her small hand. ‘Well, Patricia Anne Kingston, I knew your mummy long before you were born and yet this is the first time I’ve set eyes on you. How about that?’

  Elaine settled herself in the passenger seat. ‘This is very good of you, Tom. If you could just run us round to the long-stay car park, I’d be very grateful.’

  Tom revved the car noisily. ‘Your wish is my command, madam.’ As he negotiated the busy Saturday traffic he told her he was home for one of his rare weekend visits.

  ‘I’m teaching in the Midlands — well, it’s almost into Derbyshire really. It’s a fair old drive and I have so much weekend work to do I hardly ever get home. But I do try to make an effort for one of Red’s parties.’ he told her. He glanced in the mirror at Tricia who was sitting sedately in the middle of the back seat. ‘I like your sprog. She’s a real little cracker, isn’t she?’

  Elaine laughed. ‘And not just a pretty face — talented too. She’s just got herself a place at St Cecilia’s school. It’s well known for its specialisation in music.’

  He raised his eyebrows at her in elaborate surprise. ‘Hey, you don’t say. What does she play?’

  ‘Violin,’ came the piping voice from the back. ‘And I’m going to learn the saxophone too, so’s I can play jazz.’

  Tom laughed. ‘Good for you, kid.’ He looked at Elaine. ‘Have you seen the folks lately?’

  ‘I saw Red. He helped me out recently with a bit of business. Actually, I feel a bit guilty. I promised I’d take Tricia to see him and Zoe, but I seem to have been too busy to get round to it.’

  ‘Yes, I bumped into Alison this morning. She told me you and she are starting up some kind of business together. I’d love to hear more about it. Look, if you’re not doing anything special this evening, why don’t you come to the party? Alison’s promised to come.’

  ‘Oh — I don’t think I could. Paul’s away this weekend and Tricia...’

  ‘Bring Tricia too,’ he said. ‘Most of the old gang have got kids now and they all bring them along. They love the barn shows and Zoe loves having them around.’

  ‘Well...’

  He saw her wistful expression and seized on it. ‘Oh, come on, Ellie. It’ll be like old times, and you did say you’d promised to call on the folks. Tell you what, I won’t say anything to them. Turn up if you can and we’ll keep it as a surprise.’

  Tom’s infectious exuberance was working its old magic and Elaine laughed aloud, feeling suddenly light-hearted and free. ‘All right then, you’re on,’ She turned to look at Tricia. ‘You’d like to go to a party, wouldn’t you?’

  Tricia looked thoughtful. ‘Will there be jelly?’

  ‘There’ll be terrible trouble from me if there isn’t,’ Tom said gravely.

  Tricia giggled. ‘Goody.’ Then, remembering her manners: ‘Thank you for inviting me. I’d like to come.’

  Mary clearly disapproved of Elaine and Tricia going out for the evening.

  ‘Surely you don’t expect me to stay in this great house by myself all evening?’ she said when Elaine told her their plans.

  ‘We shan’t be late. And you’ve got the television.’

  Mary looked at her askance. ‘You know I hate
that thing. Just how late will you be? It’s nothing to do with me but I’d have thought that keeping a child of Patricia’s age up late...’

  ‘You have no need to worry about Tricia,’ Elaine said firmly. ‘It’s Saturday and there’s no school tomorrow. Anyway there are plenty of rooms at the Carnes’ house. I daresay I could put her to bed if she got sleepy.’

  Mary sniffed and folded her arms tightly across her bosom. ‘I’m sure I don’t know what Paul would say about such Bohemian goings on.’

  ‘Well, when he comes home, perhaps you could ask him,’ Elaine said tartly. As she went out of the room she reflected that her tongue was becoming almost as sharp as Mary’s.

  *

  The Carnes’ house was unchanged. It seemed strange to Elaine to be going in at the front door instead of down the basement steps to help Zoe with the food as in the old days, and she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she shouldn’t really be here. She stood for several minutes on the pavement outside, till Tricia tugged at her hand and asked:

  ‘Aren’t we going in, Mummy?’

  She smiled down into the anxious blue eyes. ‘Of course we are.’

  Walking firmly up the steps she reached out to knock on the door — and found, as she might have expected, that it was off the latch. Once inside the familiar informal party atmosphere was just as she remembered. For a moment she stood there, absorbing the babble of voices mingled with taped music. A feeling of almost overwhelming nostalgia engulfed her. The door of the living room was open and people were already spilling into the hall. She was still standing there uncertainly when Zoe came through the door at the back of the stairway — the door that led down to the basement. She had put on weight since Elaine had last seen her and her hair was a little greyer, but apart from that she looked the same. She wore a red and gold Indian print kaftan and the familiar silver bangles jingled musically on her wrists. For a moment she stared at them, her eyes wide, then she gave a delighted little cry of delight and came to meet them, arms outstretched.

  ‘Elaine, my dear child. What a lovely surprise. It’s been so long.’ She enveloped her in a warm hug. ‘Red said you’d promised to come and see us.’