Safe No Longer

by Gayle Curtis

  ‘I don’t think she’d like it.’ He rested his elbows on the table and sipped his tea.

  ‘It’s not fair,’ Jody said sulkily. ‘You haven’t done anything wrong.’

  ‘Whether I have or I haven’t, society doesn’t accept people like me. I’m different, I stand out from the crowd. A bit like you – that’s why we get on well together, because we’re so similar.’

  ‘But you’re ill, sick. Even Mum admits that.’

  ‘I don’t think she means it in the way you imagine.’ He smiled at her.

  ‘I told her you were having therapy for your . . .’ Jody paused, slightly embarrassed. ‘You know, your . . .’

  ‘Sex addiction.’ Her father stared absently out of the window.

  It didn’t matter how many times her mother told Jody her dad was a paedophile, she wouldn’t listen. He just liked looking at porn, that was all, and he might possibly, accidentally, have strayed into other areas.

  ‘I do think if you just talked to Mum, explained it all like you did to me, she’d understand. Maybe she’d even ask you to come home.’

  He smiled at her again. ‘I don’t want to do that, Jody. I’ve realised that the pressures I was under at home, certain issues I had with your mum, were making me act in ways I wouldn’t normally. Your mum likes to live in a certain way, and the stress from that was giving me anxiety. I do think I probably suffered a nervous breakdown, and that’s when the addiction started.’ He reached for Jody’s hand and rubbed her fingers. ‘My therapy sessions are helping me with all this. I know it’s hard for you to understand, babe. You want everything to be the way it was, but I’m afraid I don’t.’

  Jody shrugged. ‘I know.’

  ‘Hey, guess what I found the other day?’

  ‘What?’ Jody was suddenly caught up in Jason’s excitement.

  ‘I heard a strange noise outside yesterday morning and when I opened the door, there was a tiny squirrel sitting on the step. Just out there.’ He pointed towards the door.

  ‘Really?’ Jody got up to look, as if the squirrel would still be there.

  Her dad followed her. ‘I’ve been feeding him bits of those tea cakes you brought round a few days ago. He’s there every evening. Bit of company for me.’

  Jody looked at the floor, feeling sad for her dad and the terrible situation he’d been forced into. ‘I better go. Mum will wonder where I am.’

  ‘No problem, babe, I’ve got another session in a few minutes anyway.’ He threw the dregs of his tea out of the caravan door as Jody collected her rucksack.

  ‘I’ll walk with you, if you like.’

  ‘It’s in the opposite direction, and too far out of your way,’ he said. ‘I’ll walk with you to the bottom of the park though.’

  Jody waited for her father to lock the door and fall into step with her, suddenly remembering she had something to tell him. ‘I forgot to tell you. A teacher from our school called round for you yesterday. Did she come and see you? Mum gave her the address.’

  ‘What woman?’

  ‘Mrs Fearon. She doesn’t teach me, and I only recognised her because Dean’s in her class and keeps banging on about her. She was a bit odd, actually. I didn’t speak to her, Mum did.’ Jody hated anyone sniffing around her dad; he belonged at home with her mum.

  ‘No, don’t know her,’ he said, sharply.

  ‘Well, she reckons she knows you. Dark hair, long and wavy with a fringe. She was wearing a flowery dress. They had a bit of a row.’

  ‘Oh?’ Her dad’s whole demeanour had changed, and Jody was starting to regret telling him.

  ‘Yeah, I didn’t hear most of what was said. She didn’t stop long.’ Jody frowned. ‘Is she a secret girlfriend?’

  ‘No! Don’t be silly, babe. She’s just got me mixed up with someone else. Right, come on, you’re going to make me late for my session.’ He grabbed her sharply and gave her a squeeze.

  ‘See you tomorrow?’

  ‘I’ll text you, I’ve got some things to sort out.’

  ‘Are you okay, Dad?’

  ‘I’m fine.’ He grabbed her hands, his eyes suddenly wide and reassuring. ‘Honestly. I just need to focus on my session.’

  Jody nodded, then kissed him on the cheek and left him to it. A few minutes later, she remembered that her mother had told her she’d need to grab something for her dinner because she was going out for the evening. Jody turned back towards the town, and that’s when she saw her dad coming out of the off-licence with a bottle of whiskey. She followed him to a block of flats and watched him go inside. She waited for a few minutes until she spotted him on the third floor, walking across the balcony before putting a key into one of the doors and heading inside.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  It had been six months since Gloria had visited Scott’s house. They’d mutually agreed Adrian wouldn’t come to their home, following a heated family gathering on Boxing Day, when Scott had dared to hide his father’s car keys, insisting he get a taxi because he’d had too much to drink. Adrian and Gloria usually had a driver, but he was on leave for Christmas – it was times like this she cursed herself for being so reliant on others. They had argued out on the street and even the taxi driver had become exasperated, demanding payment when he was sent away. Adrian was blind drunk, and Scott didn’t want him driving Gloria home, or driving anywhere for that matter. As usual, Adrian had rounded on Gloria, saying it was all her fault because she’d never bothered to learn to drive. Something she decided to make her new year’s resolution: passing her test first time around.

  Following the awful argument that had ensued between Scott and Adrian after Emma’s outburst at the restaurant, she had wondered if she’d ever see her son again. Brett had simply left the restaurant, always the person to stay out of any family issues.

  But after Adrian’s arrest, she’d found herself standing on Scott’s doorstep, nowhere to go, wanting a favour. As hard as she tried, she hadn’t been able to think of any friends or family she could stay with, or at least none who could be trusted not to gossip about the situation. And certainly no one who would allow her to stay without an explanation; they simply didn’t have friends like that. They all talked about one another, a constant cycle of backstabbing, all so they could say they mixed in the right circles. People wanted to socialise with them purely out of association – Adrian had an OBE, he was the man who made dreams come true and he rubbed shoulders with royalty. He’d done so much for charity that he’d made himself untouchable. That was, until now.

  ‘Promise me, Mum,’ Scott said. ‘That’s it. You stay here, you don’t have him back. I can’t put my family through this if you’re going to continue the relationship.’

  ‘I promise, I will. I’ve left him. That’s it.’ Gloria looked up to see her daughter-in-law Belinda standing in the doorway to the kitchen, one of Gloria’s granddaughters hanging around her legs. Belinda shook her head and walked out.

  ‘Don’t go back on your word. I mean it, Mum, this is going to cause me all sorts of hassle.’ Scott glanced towards the now-empty kitchen doorway.

  Gloria and Belinda had never really got along, using passive-aggression to make their relationship work. Belinda hated Adrian and wouldn’t allow Gloria or him to have the children unaccompanied. She was also very close to Emma. Gloria had tried several times to call her daughter since Adrian’s arrest, but she refused to pick up. Gloria had seethed with every failed attempt, until she’d thrown her phone across the kitchen floor, cracking the screen.

  ‘I . . . I promise, Scott, you have my word. There’s no going back for me now.’

  Gloria had known when those words left her lips and floated in the air between them that she was never going to stick to it. On the back of Emma’s accusations, two women had come forward claiming they’d been groomed and abused many years ago. But Adrian had been released on unconditional bail, pending further enquiries into allegations of historical sex offences, and he’d called Gloria to ask if she would collect him from the pol
ice station. Gloria had heard his voice, the quiver of tears, and felt her insides begin to cave like an avalanche. He was vulnerable, innocent. She felt sorry for him, wanted to protect him.

  It was what he always did when he was in trouble and knew that he was losing her: he reverted to a child, and she, in turn, assumed the role of mother, infantilising him.

  Adrian was outside the back of the police station when Gloria collected him, away from any press that might be lurking out the front. He wouldn’t get into the car when she first pulled up, instead turning his back to her, his hands placed over his face. Leaving the engine running, Gloria stepped out of the car and walked towards him. Adrian was crying into his hands.

  ‘What’s wrong, love?’

  Adrian turned towards her, his hands still over his face. She quickly fell into the role of carer, feeling needed and wanted again.

  ‘Please don’t leave me. Please, Gloria.’ He grabbed the lapels of her jacket and pulled her sharply towards him. ‘I can’t live without you. I’ll die. I’ve been so frightened you’d leave me.’

  ‘Don’t be silly! I’m here, aren’t I?’ Gloria prised his hands from her clothes and pulled him into an embrace. ‘It’s okay, love. Let’s get ourselves to the hotel.’

  Moments later, Adrian was in the car, completely composed, as if the previous upset hadn’t taken place. ‘Have you spoken to anyone about all this?’ he asked.

  ‘No. Well . . . No, I haven’t seen anyone.’

  ‘Not the papers? Any friends called you?’ Adrian pulled down the visor and looked in the small mirror and began tweaking his hair, the transformation quite astonishing.

  ‘No.’ Gloria briefly turned to look at him, wondering where Adrian had gone again – the one she preferred. ‘I’m not sure how long our guests from the dinner party will keep their mouths shut. They know something was going on and I don’t know how much they overheard.’

  ‘I don’t think any of them would be stupid enough to sell a story on me. They know I’ll sue.’ He shifted in his seat. ‘Anyone asks, say you can’t talk about it and we’re seeking legal advice. I’ve got plenty of gagging orders on the press, so that should keep them out of the way.’

  ‘Are we seeking legal advice?’

  ‘Of course we bloody are. I’m going to sue every possible person I can.’

  She listened to him rant about the police during the short journey to the hotel. Once they arrived, she found herself looking over her shoulder, searching for anyone who might know who they were, but no one took any notice.

  At the reception desk, Gloria almost whispered, ‘I have a booking under the name of Player.’

  Adrian glared at her, and she realised she should have used a different name.

  The receptionist checked the computer, giving a sideways glance at Adrian and recognising him immediately.

  ‘Sir Adrian, we are very honoured.’ The receptionist beamed and practically curtsied at him.

  Adrian winked and grinned at her. ‘Want a selfie, love?’

  ‘I’d love to, but it’s more than my job’s worth. My brother wrote to you when he was a kid. You sorted it for him to meet his favourite football team.’

  ‘Did I sort you out as well?’ He winked again, making Gloria feel sick. ‘Hang on a sec.’ Adrian grabbed Gloria’s arm. ‘Didn’t you stay here last night? Why are we checking in?’

  She ignored him and concentrated on the receptionist. She could feel a scene emerging.

  ‘Glo, where have you been staying?’

  Gloria was frantically trying to think of a lie, but her mind was blank with panic.

  ‘Answer me.’ He yanked at her arm, forcing her to face him. ‘Please don’t tell me you’ve been staying at that wanker’s house? You didn’t talk to him about anything, did you?’

  ‘Is everything all right here, Mrs Player?’ The receptionist stared at Gloria intently. It was a frequent occurrence; a lot of people changed their opinion of Adrian within minutes of meeting him in the flesh. He wasn’t anywhere near as charming as he was on television. The TV programmes hid the groping, the touching, the vicious, spiteful temper.

  ‘Mind your own fucking business,’ Adrian threw at the startled woman. ‘Answer me, Glo.’

  ‘If you mean Scott’s, I had nowhere else to go!’ Gloria could feel hot tears rolling down her cheeks. She hadn’t imagined his homecoming to be like this. It had felt like he’d been gone for ages, and she’d missed him so much, her resolve evaporating as soon as she’d heard his voice.

  Gloria felt and heard a sharp crack across her jaw. Adrian had slapped her. The receptionist looked on in horror at the domestic situation unfurling before her and she reached for the telephone to call for help. A few people in the lobby had stopped what they were doing and were now looking directly at them.

  Adrian grabbed Gloria’s arm, held it up high and marched her out of the hotel and down the steps, shoving her against the car that hadn’t yet been parked.

  ‘Get in, you stupid bitch.’

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Bending down and looking through the letterbox, Rachel could see Jason’s sleeve protruding from the edge of the wall where he was hiding from her.

  ‘If you don’t let me in, Jason, I’m going straight to the police station and I’ll tell them everything. And I mean, everything.’ Rachel leant on the thin apartment door and banged her head on it in frustration. The sound echoed along the corridor. Moments later, Jason opened the door and dragged her inside.

  ‘Don’t you think the police might be watching us? For fuck’s sake, Rachel!’

  ‘What’s the problem?’ she said, not liking the change in him at all. ‘You said we had to behave as normal as possible, and you also said you’d keep in touch and let me know what was happening. I was arrested on Sunday, and as you know, I have enough going on with the police breathing down my neck.’

  ‘And you thought it was a good idea to come and find me, after all that’s happened? You really are a silly cow. Don’t you think you’ll be expected to stay at home?’ Jason pushed past her and tried to peer through the patterned net curtains without moving them. ‘I told you not to contact me, whatever happened, but you couldn’t help yourself, you had to keep calling me.’

  Rachel frowned. ‘Please tell me Cara’s safe and you were just bluffing on the phone? I need to know there’s no connection to what happened to Raymond.’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ he said, but Rachel didn’t hear him.

  ‘Listen,’ she said, ‘I think if we release Cara now, it’ll all be fine. They don’t know it’s us and Cara won’t say anything if I have a word with her. She’s a good girl. Where is she?’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ he said, frowning at her.

  ‘Cara. Where is she?’

  ‘I have no idea.’ His face was expressionless.

  ‘Jason, this isn’t funny. What have you done with my daughter?’

  ‘I told you, nothing. I don’t know where she is. Like I said, I was in the lane at 3 a.m., I waited for half an hour, drove around the square but Cara was nowhere to be seen.’

  ‘Impressive, very convincing, but I’m not bugged or anything. You can talk to me normally.’

  ‘Been watching reruns of Columbo again, have we?’ Jason laughed.

  ‘I’ve thought of a plan.’ She moved towards him, ignoring his jibe, too eager to share her great idea. ‘I’ll say I found Cara, that I thought of somewhere she liked to hide out. When I picked her up, she was really frightened because some dirty old man had tried to snatch her, so she’d run away and hidden, blah blah. If I tell her what to say, she’ll stick to it. I’ll promise to buy her something in exchange. She’s a good girl, she listens to me.’

  Jason didn’t respond to what she’d said or move away from the window. She looked around, surprised by the silence, and then wandered through the flat, opening doors, looking for Cara.

  ‘She’s not here.’ He dashed across the room and blocked her wa
y to the only door she hadn’t opened.

  Rachel grabbed his arms and tried to move him out of the way. ‘What have you done with her?’ She released him, pushing her dark fringe from her eyes. ‘We agreed to discuss everything.’

  ‘We agreed a lot of things, but none of that matters now.’

  ‘Jason, you can’t do this.’ She ducked under his arm and grabbed the door handle, wrenching it open. A young girl who looked nothing like Cara was sitting on a beanbag playing a computer game. She briefly looked around but then continued with what she was doing.

  ‘Who’s that?’ Rachel hissed.

  Jason pushed her out of the way and closed the door. ‘Just one of Adrian’s grandchildren I babysit sometimes. Listen, Rachel, it’s best if you go home. Keep your head down, don’t say anything, and don’t come here again. If anyone asks, we’ll say we were having an affair and you came here to end things with me.’

  ‘What?’ Rachel couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He looked and sounded like a stranger. She hadn’t noticed before how mean his face was, with his small, sharp eyes making him look arrogant.

  ‘Listen to me,’ he said. ‘We need to stay away from one another. Don’t you see, you’re going to get me in a whole lot of trouble. I don’t need you anymore; Adrian doesn’t either. Go home and get on with your life, and concentrate on finding Cara. No one’s going to drop you in it. That’s as long as you stay away.’ He turned his attention back to the window.

  ‘What have you done with my daughter?’ Rachel broke down. The last eighteen months and everything that had happened had suddenly become clear to her, as if she’d been shaken from a long sleep. ‘You promised she wouldn’t get hurt.’

  Jason sighed heavily and was quiet for a few moments.

  ‘Answer me!’ Rachel screamed.

  He yanked her towards him. ‘Listen to me, you stupid bitch.’ His stale breath hit her face. ‘This has nothing to do with me. You have nothing to do with me. Now fuck off and don’t come here again.’

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE