The Girl Who Lived Twice

by Tina Clough

  John and Lorraine both stared into space, with the look of people running through a scene from the past, but in the end they all agreed that Miles had not taken any pictures.

  “Well, that’s a good thing then,” said Thomas. “I was a bit worried Miles might have some independent evidence. Let’s hope there’s nothing we’ve missed.” They looked at each other in silent agreement and nodded.

  “And Mia, maybe you should put a password on your Word file, so nobody else can open it, just to be on the safe side? Yes, I know, I know! It’s the careful and cautious accountant in me coming out, but it can’t do any harm.”

  Lorraine smiled at Thomas. “Between you and John we are going to be kept on the straight and narrow – no chance of just taking a punt and hoping everything will turn out OK!”

  “I should hope not!” said John. “You won’t last long as a lawyer if you take that line.”

  “But how are we going to deal with Miles? Or are we going to ignore him from now on?” Mia was thinking out loud. “It’s not that I want to punish him, well perhaps I do actually. At least I want to tell him what I think of him. Shouldn’t he be sort of warned off?”

  The other three all spoke at the same time, but the message was overwhelmingly clear. Miles must be told what they thought of him and Lorraine had an additional idea of how to contain him.

  “I think maybe Thomas could see him? It would be completely unexpected, because Miles doesn’t know Thomas and has never heard of him, so it would add a bit of impact. And he could introduce himself as a consultant, no need to mention accounting or tax law. What I think Miles needs to be told, is that Mia and the rest of us will deny anything he comes up with.”

  “That’s a good idea, if you agree Thomas,” said John. “Which I hope you will. Mia said you had a sort of presence, and I can see what she meant. A warning from you would come across in a way, which I couldn’t achieve. And you being a stranger adds weight.”

  Mia knew that Thomas had flicked a glance in her direction, when John quoted her. She hoped her face would not betray her feelings and tried to sound calm. “Well, I’d certainly take note, if Thomas turned up on my doorstep to warn me off. The only other thing I’ve thought of since that phone call is that Miles might get the idea to try and get hold of the CD we sent to the Irwins. Do you think we should try and get it back?”

  After a lengthy discussion they agreed that for many reasons no would attempt should be made to retrieve the CD, mainly because it was unlikely that anyone would want to admit they had been warned and ignored it.

  “If you give me the name of the firm Miles works for I’ll ring him first thing in the morning and ask for an appointment to see him – I’ll make sure he understands it’s urgent. And I’ll report back to you all when it’s done.”

  There was a flurry of activity as they rose, cleared the table, sorted the kitchen, continued talking and speculating and then suddenly John and Lorraine were gone and all was quiet again.

  “I’ll write down John and Lorraine’s numbers and the name of Miles’s law firm,” said Mia, but turning aside she caught Thomas’ eyes. His face was closed and set, quite unlike his usual expression. She stopped and looked directly at him, but his expression did not change, his voice was steady and even. “You were going to get me those numbers?”

  Mia nearly let the moment pass, but then she thought of how they had stood earlier in the evening with his arms round her, and now he seemed like another person altogether. She took a couple of steps closer and looked directly into his face. “What’s wrong? Are we taking too much for granted? If you don’t want to tackle to Miles, someone else can do it.”

  “I’m perfectly happy to deal with Miles – in fact it will be a pleasure. There’s nothing wrong.”

  His voice was calmly dismissive - she felt as if he had slapped her. Why was he so remote? How could he change like this right in front of her eyes? She must have said or done something he found unacceptable – her mind was racing through the evening’s conversations trying to find a clue. She remained standing in front of him looking up at his face and then it struck her like a blow on the head. It was his scar! He thought she had told John and Lorraine that he looked scary or like a thug! My God – how could he sit there after that and be so cool, when all the time he must have been feeling hurt and disappointed – disappointed in her.

  Pity and affection overwhelmed her and she once again felt like crying, but this time for him. She took a step closer, reached up and put the palm of her hand over the scarred side of his face. He flinched and nearly pulled away, but his expression did not change.

  “Thomas, this is not the ‘presence’ I told John and Lorraine about. I was talking about your personal impact – serious, competent and not a person to cross.” She took her hand away and now she felt as if she didn’t know what to do with it, as if it was an embarrassment and didn’t really belong to her.

  Thomas spoke evenly. “I’m aware that my face makes me look dangerous - there’s no need to apologise.”

  Mia nearly left it there. She felt sad and upset – maybe whatever she said or did now would turn out wrong. She turned to go and write that note, but her emotions overruled her. She swung back, looked straight at Thomas with tears starting in her eyes.

  “That was not it! You have to take my word for it. I can’t bear to see you feeling like this.” He made no reply, but looked aside as if unable to meet her gaze. Overwhelmed by guilt and sadness for him Mia said in a croaky little voice: “I think I love you, Thomas Livingston.”

  There was total silence for a few seconds. He looked down into her face with a look of complete surprise and then he slowly reached out and took her face between his hands and bent his head and kissed her, slowly and gently at first and then with increasing passion. His arms moved down to close round her back. Mia lifted her arms and crossed her wrists behind his neck, holding him close while tears trickled down her cheeks. He lifted his head and wiped the tears with his thumbs. His face was still serious, but his eyes were alight - she knew they needed no words.

  His fingers on her face were gentle, and he smiled down at her. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that!” She smiled back, reached for one of his hands and kissed his knuckles. “Neither was I!”

  He moved back a bit and leant against the bench with his feet planted wide and pulled her with him, so that she stood between his legs, very close to his chest, and their faces were not so far apart. “You are such a shortie, we’ll have to grow you a bit taller.”

  She ignored the comment about height, but stored it away to treasure later the implied shared future. “I meant it you know. I’ve never felt like this with anyone before – as if I’ve known you forever. I don’t have to know you to trust you.”

  He pulled her against his chest and spoke into her hair. “Ah, cara Mia - I fell in love with you when we watched that CD of you doing your thing with the document at the police station – it was instant. I never thought I’d get to say it; it never entered my head that you’d be interested. Most people can’t cope with this face.”

  She could feel the steady beat of his heart, his whole body felt solid and warm and safe. How could this gorgeous man imagine that he was unlovable – it was tragic. The thought of how many years he must have lived like this made her heart ache. “Well I love you now and I think I’ll probably love you forever.” She raised her face and kissed his chin and he tilted his head forward so their foreheads met. “Let’s go to bed.”

  Much later, as she lay with her head on his arm, her cheek glued to his skin with sweat, he said casually: “Are you on the pill?”

  And Mia had to laugh. “No, I’m not. Never mind, if I have an instant baby it’ll be company for Ruby. I just realised another thing I know might happen!”

  “And whose baby might Ruby be?”

  Mia smiled in the dark. “Ruby is Sarah and James’s little girl, whose birthday is the 23rd of April – that’s 23rd of April 2007.”

  She felt his body
vibrate with laughter, and then he turned on his side and pulled her close again. “My god - this is so strange – I’ll need time to get used to it. But I’m glad your memory is only one year ahead of mine or we’d never have a normal life.”

  “You’ll have to remember not to mention Ruby, when you first meet her parents, though. Because I think that Sarah only discovered she was pregnant a couple of weeks after they came back from their trip and we wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise for them. Heaven knows why she didn’t notice earlier - she’ll tell us she’s baffled and we must remember to be thrilled and surprised.”

  “Anything else I should know? Imminent bridge collapses, trains and flights not to catch, shares to buy?”

  “Mm, yes, I do have a list of some things I remember. But some of them I can’t place in time and some I know when they happened, but I can’t remember enough detail. You can help me work on it. The others suggested a hypnotist and that might be a good idea. If I can manage to save some lives and some grief it would sort of make up for Steve Irwin dying.”

  They feel asleep like that, close together with Thomas’s arm curved round her. At some stage in the night they must have moved apart, Mia was drowsily aware of a hand reaching out to locate her, moved closer and slept on.

  Mia woke, turned her head and looked straight into Thomas’s eyes. He kissed her nose. “You look very peaceful when you sleep - like a cat.”

  “How long have you been lying there looking at me?”

  “Oh, not long, perhaps ten minutes.”

  Mia traced his scar with her forefinger and smiled. “Do you still love me?”

  “Let me show you how much!”

  At 8.30 Thomas dropped Mia at her office on his way home to change his clothes. He leant across the seat and kissed her. “I’ll ring you during the day. Remember I love you. And I’ll pick you up about half past five.”

  She stood on the pavement and watched the car blend into the traffic and disappear. She already missed him but carried a warm glow in her chest. Alice was at her desk, lit up with curiosity.

  “Mia! Who was that? Did I see a fond farewell before you got out of that car?” Mia felt her face grow pink – how ridiculous! She was single, adult and could do what she liked. “Well, yes, it was a fond farewell! In fact a very loving farewell - but keep it to yourself for now. It’s very, very new!”

  Alice’s eyes were shining. “Oh Mia, I’m so pleased for you! Will you tell me all about it?”

  Mia looked at Alice, who was as pleased for Mia as she would have been for herself and thought ‘I’m so lucky to have a friend like this. However did I miss getting to know her in That Time?’ Aloud she said, “I’ll tell you some of it, very soon! Let’s go out and have a gossipy lunch one day next week.”

  “That’s a date! I can tell you all about the wedding and you can tell me about your new man.”

  With a mental reservation that she’d never be able to tell Alice the full story, Mia made her way to her office. The morning was a string of short bursts of work interspaced with dreamy pauses, when her eyes looked into the far distance and her mind dwelt on the previous evening and night. Some of the images she conjured up make her feel quite hot and bothered. She would catch herself deep in a daydream and snap out of it, only to drift into another reverie half an hour later.

  At lunchtime Thomas rang to say that he had arranged an appointment with Miles at 2.30 and that all he had told the secretary was that he was a partner at Bond, Livingston & Thornby. “I did that on purpose, because most people think we’re all lawyers and it’s really only clients and other accountants who understand that I’m an accountant. I thought it might create a bit of useful apprehension, when he realises why I’ve come to see him.”

  “Very smart! What did you say your firm was called, let me write it down – it feels funny not to know where your office is or anything.” He repeated the name and she scribbled it on her pad and then burst into laughter. “You do realise - you must realise how funny that is?”

  “Oh, yes and it’s quite deliberate. People never forgot the name once they have seen our letterhead with the initials. One client suggested we should re-locate to Rye in the UK!”

  She texted John and Lorraine and told them that Thomas had an appointment to see Miles and within minutes Lorraine rang. “Have you seen the paper? There’s a mention in that woman’s column, but not your name.”

  “My god, she’s determined, isn’t she! What does it say?”

  “It’s only a paragraph. Here it is: We hear that a young Auckland woman not only predicted Steve Irwin’s death, but did so in exact detail and had her prediction videotaped and witnessed by police officers some time before the event. It seems Irwin was notified, but chose to ignore the warning. When we contacted the lady in question she denied any knowledge, but we were informed by someone who witnessed the original prediction and we will continue to investigate. At least there’s no mention of anything that could identify you.”

  Mia had to agree – the paragraph was surprisingly low-key. “I really thought she’d name me despite my denial. Once Thomas has seen Miles I doubt she’ll get any more details out of him. But she knows my name already of course, and can easily ramp it up a bit. I hope Miles warns her off!”

  “Well, whatever she’s going to do, there’s nothing she can do to you if you continue to deny it all - so long as she never gets to see the evidence document or the CD.”

  Mia put the phone down and swung round to face her computer and realised that Josh was standing in the doorway. “God, Josh, you gave me a fright!” She made a mental note to either close her door or sit facing it during any future conversations with Lorraine or the others. Not that anything she had said this time was very revealing, but she still felt exposed.

  “Mia, my girl, you seem to have the most intriguing life these days! I hope to goodness you aren’t involved in anything illegal?”

  Mia bristled at hearing him call her his girl, but decided to keep the upper hand by not getting involved in petty sparring. “Illegal? What on earth makes you think that?”

  “Well, I heard you talking about someone called Miles warning some unknown female off and it sounded so exotic I stopped to see what else you were going to come out with.”

  He grinned and made no move to leave, and Mia decided she would risk a little dig. “Josh, I’m beginning to think that your good looking exterior hides a seriously dubious inner person! I’m sure your mother would be ashamed of you – eavesdropping like that.”

  He continued to look relaxed and amused, immune to the insult. “My mum thinks the sun shines out of every one of my orifices – she’d never believe you!”

  He left her office with a smirk and Mia texted Thomas telling him to read the column in the newspaper before seeing Miles. The rest of the day was uneventful and slightly boring. Most of the jobs on her desk were routine and undemanding; in the back of her mind other concerns revolved slowly. That list of events that she might be able to prevent should be worked on soon – the little team could become a think tank. Not that any of them could remember the future, but there would be avenues to explore and people to try and contact, once she had come up with sufficient detail. She was reluctant to consider hypnosis. At first she had thought it might be useful, but now she was shying away from the idea. Her mind and memory had been violently sideswiped into a time strand where they did not belong and the thought of tampering further scared her. Her mind jumped ahead - would Thomas stay the night again? Should they tell Carl? Would she manage to get hold of a copy of Josh’s proposal on Monday?

  The afternoon dragged. Quarter past three and she still hadn’t heard from Thomas; she began to feel worried and found it hard to concentrate. Finally at quarter to four he rang. “Sorry that took so long, but when I got to Miles office he was in a client meeting that was running over time and I had to wait for twenty minutes. They were very apologetic but I wasn’t going to go away and waste the opportunity, so I waited. All I can say is that
I put on my best performance of authority and veiled legal threat and I don’t think he’s going to try anything again.”

  Mia was delighted. “Thank you so much - I knew you’d be effective. Did he argue or try to deny it?”

  “Oh, no, not at all. I said that you had consulted us as experts in international law and business and that we would represent your interests from now on. And if anything turned up in the media or involving commercial interests, here or in other countries, we would take action on your behalf.”

  “Boy, I wish I’d been the proverbial fly on the wall! Bet you were magnificent – was he really scared?”

  Thomas laughed against a backdrop of traffic. “I could stand here all day breathing diesel fumes and listen to flattery. It’s a new and heady experience. But yes, he was a bit scared – I think he started considering the possible career effects of a scandal. Now it all depends on how much he’s already revealed to that journalist. She might know more than she’s let on so far.”

  Just as they were saying goodbye he exclaimed. “I’ve got it! Chronoclasm, that’s it! Chronoclasm – I’ve been trying to remember the word for days.”

  “What is it – I don’t think I’ve ever heard it?”

  “I read it somewhere years ago - it’s in some book I have read more than once. I have a hunch it might be out of some story of John Wyndham’s, you know, the guy who wrote The Triffids. I think he wrote about someone who got shifted to a different time and the result was called a chronoclasm.”

  “Well it’s nice to know there’s a word for it – makes me feel nearly normal! See you at half past five.”

  She looked at the scribbled word on her pad - chronoclasm. She looked it up on dictionary.com but all she found was chronoclast, which was a heavy-metal rock album. Well, she knew that chrono was to do with time, so tried clast. There was the fact that linked it to Wyndham’s word: Clast is fragmented rock. What a strange coincidence that an author had invented a word decades ago for a phenomenon in a sci-fi novel and built into it a reference to rock fragmenting. And the sensation she had experienced, when she was moved between time strands was like being forcibly squeezed through a narrow cleft in a rock, uneven and gritty. She pondered the strangeness of time and space for a moment and then turned her attention back to work.