Nashville by Heart: A Novel

by Tina Ann Forkner

  Will pulled a chair out for Gillian, and as she brushed past him to sit down, his hand briefly touched her hip. Little butterflies went wild in her chest, a combination of the thrill of meeting at a record label’s office and the idea that Will would dare touch her in the presence of anyone else. Nobody would have noticed given the angle they were at, but it reminded her that Will was playing with fire too, and he seemed to like it.

  Concentrate on the meeting, she told herself. He’s not your boyfriend. He’s your agent.

  “Play something for us,” one of the executives said. Dorothy smiled encouragement. She didn’t look at Will.

  They didn’t waste any time getting to the point, she realized, so she didn’t either. She pulled out her guitar and launched into something she’d played for Will in his office. Will had given her a list of songs to sing and the order to sing them in if she got a chance.

  It felt good to be behind her guitar, no matter how important the people watching her were. The guitar was like a shield between her and the world, giving her a chance to be herself, to express her deepest feelings on her own terms. It usually didn’t take her long to get lost in the songs, and as she played, the room was quiet. She even stopped thinking about Will. It was just her, the guitar, and the dream she and her momma had been sharing her whole life.

  She was startled when she opened her eyes in the middle of a song to find everyone staring at her. The feeling was more intense than usual with no lights or space between herself and them. She flushed. It was like singing naked in front of strangers. If they knew anything about music, and they did, they’d see every one of her flaws, her hesitations, her mess-ups, but she didn’t let herself think about that. Instead, she closed her eyes and went to a different place, and it wasn’t The Ryman.

  In her mind, she was home in Gold Creek Gap, sitting on her momma’s front porch in the cool evening breeze, surrounded by an array of potted flowers and darting hummingbirds dipping in and out of the blossoms, as well as the colorful feeders hanging all around.

  When she opened her eyes again, the music executives were looking at her like she was chocolate cake and they were dying to take a bite. She might have been shy when it came to her talent, but she had enough experience to see that they must have loved her songs.

  Will took over. He was a master at selling his clients, and she liked watching him do it. Gillian had learned fast that his charisma and confidence weren’t just a show he put on for women. It was real and incredibly sexy. The whole time he talked, Gillian distracted her nervous self by imagining him kissing her, which was ridiculous of course. She’d just walked through halls lined with more gold records on the walls than she could ever imagine and now sat in a fancy boardroom with a bunch of music industry execs—possibly about to sign her own record deal—and after promising Dorothy she’d keep her mind on the meeting, almost all she could think about were Will’s lips on her mouth, on her neck, on—

  “Gillian?” Dorothy was saying. “What do you think of that offer?”

  Gillian glanced at Will, noting the slightest smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Thank heavens he was able to concentrate. This was his realm, not hers.

  “It’s a good offer,” he said, looking at her. Even though he’d handed her off to Dorothy, she’d spent hours and hours of personal time with him since then, enough to read him pretty well. This was his trust-me-I’ve-got-this-covered look.

  “OK,” Gillian said. Will smiled broadly, and Dorothy patted her shoulder. She’d obviously said the right thing.

  It wasn’t until they pushed a contract and a pen across the table that Gillian flipped through and saw a few figures and several of her song titles within the pages that reality hit. She wasn’t sure why, but she stood up, and the trembling started before she could stop it.

  Will stood beside her. Between him and Dorothy, they got her to sit back down.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Gillian knew she looked like an idiot, but she couldn’t help it. She turned to him.

  “I want my momma.” She smiled apologetically.

  Everyone else burst into laughter, but when they saw she was serious, it turned into the kind of chuckles erupting from a crowd when a child stands on the stage and collapses into tears when they can’t see their mom in the crowd. And Gillian’s momma wasn’t in the crowd.

  Will turned to the executives. He managed to make Gillian look like an adorable small town girl whose mother got her started and there was no way she would be signing that contract until they got her on the phone. He whispered something to someone at the end, and they all disappeared momentarily.

  “They’re calling her now.” He sat down beside Gillian.

  “You had them do that for me?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

  She squeezed his hand underneath the table. “Thanks.”

  The executives popped back into the room.

  “It turns out your momma has video calling on her phone,” one of them said. “So we’re going to stream it to this screen here.”

  And just like that, her mom’s face appeared at the end of the room.

  “Momma!” Gillian broke into smiles.

  “Hi, Ms. Heart.” Will waved.

  “Will Adams?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Young man, I hear you’re takin’ good care of my girl.”

  “I’m doing the best I can. She’s a driven woman, and you know she has a mind of her own.”

  “Don’t I know that?” Everyone chuckled. “I’m so glad she found someone like you, young man.” A long beat of silence followed. Nobody was going to comment on what the real meaning of her mom’s comment might be.

  “And Dorothy too,” her mom said. “Is Dorothy there?”

  Dorothy saved them. “I bet you’re wondering what this call is all about Ms. Heart?”

  “I was wondering. And please, it’s Louise.”

  “Louise,” Will broke in. “Let us introduce you to some of Gillian’s new friends.” He introduced each music executive one by one. Gillian watched her momma’s eyes grow wider with each introduction.

  “Now,” he said. “They’ve offered this record deal to Gillian, and she wanted to share the big moment with you.”

  On screen, Louise was holding her hands over her mouth to keep from crying. Will gave Gillian a meaningful look, and her heart brimmed with affection. If that man asked her to marry him right on the spot, she’d say yes just for doing something as nice as this for her momma. Maybe he would’ve made sure any client’s momma was live-streamed in the middle of a deal if they wanted it, but something told her probably not. It took her a minute to shift from Will back to the deal. Somebody handed her a pen. She noticed it was black and shiny with the record company’s logo on one side. She hoped they wouldn’t care when she put that pen in her purse later.

  Dorothy patted Gillian slightly on the arm. “Let’s keep it together, girl. Sign it.”

  Gillian decided she owed Dorothy a nice lunch after this for keeping her together. She’d been practicing her signature, something she and Tasha had been doing for fun. And with a scratch-scratch up and down and a few twirly loops, Gillian signed the contract that would make her dream a reality.

  One of the executives, the highest ranking, if one could tell by the quality of his suit, leaned forward to shake her hand warmly.

  “We’re so very happy to have you, Ms. Heart. I’m sure your father is going to be over the moon. Isn’t he?”

  There was an audible silence in the room except for the small gasp from Gillian’s mouth. She looked at Will who ran one hand over his scruffy chin like he always did when he was thinking, but even under pressure, he still managed to look casual about everything. It was only the blue depths of his eyes that ever gave anything away to her. She noted the concern in them now.

  The executive shaking Gillian’s hand continued to smile, waiting for her answer. He obviously hadn’t received the memo to keep quiet about Cooper Hear
t.

  She smiled and nodded, understanding the importance of remaining professional, even though nothing had ever felt more personal. Her heart had burst open at the mention of her dad, reminding her that he wasn’t there, he didn’t know, and he probably didn’t care. And all right in front of her momma.

  “He is,” she said, even though she had no idea.

  “We look forward to working with you, Ms. Heart. Who knows? Maybe one day you and your father might collaborate on something for us.” He looked at the others for approval. “Wouldn’t that be fun?”

  Everyone whole-heartedly agreed, except for her momma on the screen. To anyone else, her smile might have looked like she had the same opinion as the executive, but what Gillian saw in her eyes was a determined message that said the same thing Dorothy had whispered earlier.

  Keep it together, Gillian. So she took a deep breath and nodded.

  Will gave her a sympathetic look, but she couldn’t meet his stare. She wanted to be angry that he’d obviously made her dad part of his negotiations on her behalf, even though she’d asked him not to. But a part of her was all too aware of the truth. Dorothy was wrong. It wasn’t the relationship with Will that she should be worried about when it came to work. It was the one with her dad that had the power to drain her confidence and topple her career before it ever got started.

  Chapter Twelve

  Gillian hadn’t said anything since they got back to the office, which worried Will. She should’ve been dancing and singing in celebration. The glasses and bottle of champagne sat outside his office door on Josie’s desk, untouched. He hated how the executives had mentioned her dad right in the middle of the deal, but he had tried to warn her. The truth was, he wouldn’t have done his negotiations with the record company any differently.

  He was a damn good agent, and he’d poured everything, and a lot extra, into getting her a deal. He would’ve used Cooper Heart’s name all over again if he had to. The suggestion of Gillian and her dad collaborating had been a surprise to him too, but it’d made him want to stand up and whoop. It was more than he could’ve bargained for, and any other client would have been elated, but Gillian wasn’t any client. He was in love with her, and he sure hated the way she sat in his office right now, looking like someone had just punched her.

  “I’m so sorry, darlin’. But you have to understand. Sometimes a small thing like that can make the difference between a record company signing one client over another. For all we know, there might’ve been another person in the race, and your dad’s connection was simply the tie-breaker.”

  She finally looked at him, her eyes filled with sadness. “He’s my dad. Our relationship isn’t a story for someone to use to get their way.”

  “Yes, it is.” He was matter-of-fact, even though he wanted to sweep her up in an embrace to block her pain. “And I used the story to get your way. The record deal you’ve been dreaming of all your life just happened, and I worked my ass off back there to get it for you. The least you could do is say thanks.”

  Her head snapped up. “You should’ve warned me.”

  His face went hot with renewed frustration. “Gillian. They loved everything about you. Did you know that even though they asked you to sing for them, they’ve already been out watching you at different venues?”

  She shook her head, her eyes filling with surprise.

  “Every time we schedule a gig, Dorothy and I let everyone know. Sometimes they show, sometimes they don’t. They showed more than once, and they were this close to signing.” He held up his thumb and forefinger. “And all they needed was one little promise.”

  “And what promise was that?” she said, her eyes stormy and gorgeous, but never mind that.

  “The promise that your talent is real and lasting, because it’s in your blood. By telling them about your dad, I promised them it was a legacy for you. And it is.”

  “I get talent from my mom too, Will.” She shook her head in frustration. “I’m not ready to deal with my dad.”

  The problem was, outside of work he could listen to her talk about what a jerk Cooper Heart was all day long, but as a manager, he didn’t have time.

  “Gillian Heart, you aren’t working this right. Get some counseling, call your dad and tell him off, cry into your pillow at night, but by all means, darlin’, grow up, and think about your career.”

  She flinched like he’d slapped her. He felt like a jerk, but he wasn’t saying anything he wouldn’t say to any of his other clients. The only reason it mattered was because he was in love with her. Damn it. He leaned back in his chair.

  “I need to grow up?” she asked.

  He nodded, hating himself. “This isn’t Gold Creek Gap.”

  “So, you think I’m some young innocent girl from a small town who can’t handle any of this?”

  He didn’t need to answer. That’s exactly what he thought, except she was no girl. She was all woman, and she drove him crazy, and it was making his job very hard at the moment. Dorothy had been right when she offered to take Gillian on. She’d warned him, and he should’ve drawn stronger boundaries than he had, but it was too late now. He couldn’t rein in his feelings any more than he could rein in a storm.

  He took a deep breath, running his hand over his chin. The sight of Gillian glaring at him from her seat reminded him of his sisters and his mom. They were kind and sweet like Gillian, but they, too, had fire.

  “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”

  She sniffed.

  “Forgive me, please,” he said.

  She swiped at a loan tear.

  “I do,” she said, and he let out the breath he’d been holding. “I know you did your job. And I’m grateful.”

  His face flushed. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, he liked hearing her say so. How many times had he seen her on the verge of tears earlier that day? She’d visibly struggled to keep them in, and now, thanks to him, she was about to leak all over the place. He couldn’t stand it any longer. He shoved back his chair.

  He was by her side in a heartbeat, kneeling with his arm around her.

  “I was hoping that once you had time to think about it,” he murmured, “you’d understand.”

  She took a shaky breath and squeezed his hand, and he took that moment to offer her what he hoped was a comforting hug, although it felt awkward with her stiff posture.

  “Maybe,” she said, “if you’d explained beforehand, I could’ve had time to get used to it.”

  “Would you have listened?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’m not an idiot, Will. You could’ve tried.”

  His breath left in a whoosh. “I did, darlin’. Every time I brought it up, you were clear about wanting nothing to do with your dad, even to get a deal. Then, when this opportunity came up, I couldn’t risk losing it. Time was of the essence.”

  “I have a cell. I’m sure you could’ve made time to call about something that important. You certainly have time to answer every single time Audrey calls.”

  Will stood and ran his hands over his face. “No, I don’t. Not when I’m in a meeting with record executives. And the difference between you and Audrey is, she trusts me to make decisions for her on the spur of the moment. Negotiating is not for the weak, Gillian. That’s why the clients aren’t involved. That’s why you have me.”

  She closed her eyes, then stood.

  “Now, darlin’. Can we move on? Let’s have some champagne.”

  “I know you’re right,” she said, her shoulders drooping. “I’m being ridiculous. I probably do need to see a shrink.”

  “That’s not what I meant, sweetheart.” He regretted saying that, even if it was probably a good idea. He remembered all the times he’d approached his preacher dad’s office door, only to be turned away because someone just needed to talk about things.

  She gave him a resigned look, and he was reminded that even though she’d been living in Nashville on her own for a while by the time they met, she was still very
sheltered. While she’d struggled with abandonment and being on the verge of poverty in Gold Creek Gap, the way her mom had protected her had kept her from having to be tough on her own. Everything in the past few months had happened more quickly than she could’ve ever dreamed. Maybe it was wrong to expect her to be able to handle everything at once.

  “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go have a toast.”

  “Can we do it later?” She gave him an apologetic look. “I don’t feel so hot right now.”

  He would prefer they celebrate, but he’d noticed she did look a little green.

  “Of course,” he said. “You’ve had a long day. Go home and get some rest.”

  He morphed back into her boyfriend and stepped closer to her, gathering her into his arms. She came willingly, much to his relief, but he still sensed uneasiness. He tried to relax her by rubbing her back, kissing the top of her head, pulling her close.

  She reached up and kissed him on the cheek, and he sighed with relief. Maybe she wouldn’t hate him. Desire opened up, and he wanted to take her home and celebrate in a better way, smooth away all her worry and hurt, but he knew it would only be a temporary fix. She needed more, and he hated that the only way he could think to comfort her was to take her to his bed.

  “I think I want to go home and call Momma. I need some time. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

  He sighed. Of course that’s what she wanted and needed. Who can replace a mom? Smiling, he stepped back, putting space between them.

  “Are you angry with me?” He hated how it made him sound weak, but he wanted to know.

  She shrugged. “Maybe a little, but not really. I’m just sad. I wish Cooper Heart wasn’t my dad. If my life were normal, this wouldn’t even be happening.”

  The door clicked softly shut as she left, but the sound of it reverberated around the room and through his hollow heart. If Cooper Heart wasn’t her dad, she probably wouldn’t be in Nashville, and she never would’ve bumped into him in his lobby. He didn’t like the thought of not having met Gillian, but he hated not being able to fix her broken heart.