The Girl's Got Secrets (Forbidden Men #7)

by Linda Kage

  To her, the joining of two bodies was just sex, yes. But to me…it meant something. I couldn’t program my body and heart and head into thinking it was just a good time. And besides, nothing that had happened the night before could ever be classified as just sex. So I wailed, “No, it wasn’t. I’ve just compounded my betrayal to him by double. Fuck, triple. He’ll never forgive me for this when he finds out. He’s going to hate me.”

  “You never know,” Jodi argued. “Just how good was it last night?”

  “The best ever,” I muttered miserably, wiping at my running mascara with a tissue I found in my purse.

  “Well, then maybe it’ll be easier for him to get over the lie…if he wants more from you.” When she winked, I only groaned.

  “No. He’ll hate me. It was that good, Jodi. I freaking fell in love with him. I mean, I honest to God love everything about Asher Hart. He’s the best man, best lover, best friend I ever had.”

  I vaguely realized I’d just said he was a better friend to me than she was, but not even Jodi took umbrage with the slight. Suddenly, not so cavalier to my misery, she gulped and said, “Oh. Well…that may change things.”

  “You think?” I sobbed. “What am I supposed to do now?”

  But not even Jodi had any sage advice for me.

  By two that afternoon, I’d calmed myself so that I didn’t burst into tears at the drop of a hat, but it took a lot of coaxing from Jodi to get me to go to band practice.

  “Why are you so adamant I go?” I whined. “You never wanted me to stay in the band in the first place.”

  “Well, you didn’t listen, so now you’re a full-fledged member and it’s your duty. Besides, Asher would wonder why you didn’t show up, and if he puts too many one plus ones together, he might figure out the truth. You want him to find out this way?”

  “No.” I totally didn’t. So I got my ass in gear and showed up to practice. I was the second-to-last to arrive—only Asher was later than I was, which was unheard of all by itself.

  But then he acted all lethargic and tired, yawning and repeatedly drawing in a deep breath to waken himself. He was always a bundle of activity, even needing to drum his fingers whenever he had to sit still. Seeing him like this was just—

  And that’s when I realized what “the tell” was that Ten had been talking about. Sex made him sluggish and tired.

  I grew warm realizing this was all because of me. But then I scolded myself for even thinking about last night.

  Asher wasn’t just listless though. He was also worried…about Sticks. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me throughout practice and when he needed to say something to his drummer, he usually just said it in my direction, not directly to me.

  Realizing he felt guilty about breaking his promise to boy-me, I closed my eyes and shook my head. I hated doing this to him.

  As soon as practice was over, I loitered, knowing I needed to do something. Confess, or…no sé. Just make things right.

  Heath and Gally took off, and Asher sent me a wary glance. I pretended to tinker with things on the drum set before giving up and directly asking, “Everything okay?”

  He jumped and set his fist against his mouth before whirling to me. “Huh?”

  Damn, he couldn’t hide his guilt for shit, the poor guy.

  I opened my mouth to…I don’t know, maybe tell him the entire truth, when he suddenly blurted, “I had sex last night.”

  Blinking because I seriously hadn’t expected him to say that, I opened my mouth, then shut it before I managed to answer, “O…kay.”

  “It’s just…” He waved a hand my way. “You said you wanted to know, so…I’m letting you know.”

  Oh, right. I’d forgotten about that conversation. “Well…okay then. Gracias for letting me know.” And before I even knew what I was going to say next, I added, “I had sex last night, too.”

  There. We’d both confessed half-truths. It seemed only fitting. But even as I internally cringed, he brightened. “Really?”

  I nodded, and his shoulders slumped in relief. “Oh, thank God,” he said. Then he waved a finger between the two of us. “So…we’re okay?”

  I shrugged, “Sure. Absolutely.”

  Inside, I wailed, No! I was still a big fat liar, and I didn’t deserve a minute of his friendship.

  But he looked so happy as he said, “Cool,” I couldn’t tell him then.

  And the guilt only grew heavier as I drove home. I really, really, really needed to tell him. Everything.

  Last night, I’d gone too far, and now every time I saw him, I was going to want to jump his bones or bawl all over him for lying.

  Jodi wasn’t around when I blew inside my apartment, and I really I needed her to talk me out of this because after I took off my Stick’s costume, I dressed as Remy—girl Remy—and I drove to Asher’s apartment…as a girl.

  His bike wasn’t in the alley when I showed up, so I kept driving. But a few blocks later, I cursed my lack of courage and pulled to the side of the road. I walked back to the opening of his alley, keeping my face down against the cold blowing wind and practicing everything I was going to say when he made it home.

  A full, honest confession; that was what I’d do.

  I couldn’t fix what I’d done. A lo hecho, pecho. What was done was done. But I could make it right from here on out. Más vale tarde que nunca. Better late than never, huh?

  I’d just entered the alley, hugging myself when the familiar rumble of his motorcycle entered from the opposite end. We made it to his front door at about the same time. He killed the engine and leapt off his seat as I lifted my face and pushed my hair out of my eyes, encouraging myself to speak to him…in English… in my Sticks voice.

  But he spoke first. “Thank God you came back. I just went to your restaurant, but they said you weren’t working today.”

  I opened my mouth to tell him no, I had the day off, but he grasped my face and kissed me.

  I loved Asher’s lips. I mean, seriously, his mouth killed brain cells. Mine certainly short-circuited until I was leaning against him, clutching his strong arms and opening for him when he sought entrance into my mouth with his tongue.

  He groaned and lifted me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Pinning me to the wall next to his door as he fumbled to unlock all the deadbolts, he continued to kiss me until he pressed his forehead to mine to admit, “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I woke up alone in bed with nothing but your smell surrounding me.”

  Damn it, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him either. I crushed my mouth to his.

  He got us inside the stairwell of his apartment, but he only made it a few steps down with me in his arms because he almost went tumbling and broke both our necks.

  “Shit, sorry.” He set me on my feet a step above him, but I continued to cling to him, kissing his neck and biting skin to memorize every freaking centimeter of his flesh.

  “Jesus,” he groaned and pinned me to the wall of the stairwell. I wound my legs back around him, and he humped me a few minutes before we both needed more.

  I was able to open his jeans and get a handful of monster cock, but he only cursed when he got to my yoga pants and couldn’t tear them off me as fast as he’d been able to ruck up the skirt of my dress last night.

  We made it down a few more steps. Then he said, “Fuck it,” and laid me on the stairs. Grasping my breasts in each hand, he lowered his mouth to my waist and caught a teeth-full of the elastic band of my pants before ripping them down. I kicked my legs to help wiggle out of them, and thank God my panties came down with them, because I wasn’t sure I could afford him tearing every pair I owned off me. And with the hungry mood he was in, they would’ve been snapped in half a second.

  He pulled his wallet from his jeans that were sagging around his knees. Then he had a condom in hand. Then he had the condom in place. The next moment, he had the condom in me.

  I threw my head back, relishing the hard thrust of him meshing with
the soft give of myself. We fit so right together.

  I blurted out Spanish, not able to care about the stair steps gouging into my back. With Asher buried so deep inside me, nothing else mattered.

  My release came quickly and so did his. Our simultaneous combustion had us clutching each other through our orgasms, and then he gasped out a sound of shock before rolling off me and skidding down a few steps to collapse on his back, fling his arm over his face and pant.

  Though I felt like putty myself, I didn’t want him passing out on the stairs. What an awful place to fall asleep. So I shimmied down until I was beside him. I took his arm and helped him wrap it around my shoulder. Then I pushed to my feet, heaving him up with me.

  He groaned in dislike but latched on to the railing to help pull himself up.

  “Thank you,” he mumbled. “You’re too good to me.”

  I rubbed his chest and kissed his cheek.

  “Don’t leave this time, okay?” he begged, dragging me down with him as he collapsed onto the bed. “Just…stay.”

  So, I stayed. Yawning, I closed my eyes and napped with him for a while, until I woke at some point in the evening to his mouth between my legs, his tongue massaging my clit, and my body bowing up, already prepared to explode.

  “Hi, there.” He grinned at me, his green eyes still droopy with sleep but his smile full of life.

  I mumbled something, not sure if it was in Spanish or English, but whatever garbled sound came from me, it made him chuckle. Then, he was lifting my legs up to my chest and sitting upright so he could push into me from that angle.

  He watched me squirm as he tortured me with his cock, sliding deep and at just the right angle to hit the perfect spot.

  “I love watching you come,” he admitted, before lifting me up so we were both sitting upright, me still in his lap as we faced each other. “Now come again.”

  I shook my head, still not fully down from the last high, but Asher didn’t care. He slipped his thumb over my clit, heaved more powerfully inside me and had me screaming in moments.

  The rest of the night followed a similar pattern. We fucked, we slept, occasionally we cuddled, once he left the bed to get us a snack of apples and cheese. Mozart became quite the voyeur and at some point, Asher had to climb out of bed to throw a blanket over his cage. But he returned immediately to cuddle and hold me close.

  The next morning, I woke first, still swaddled in his gentle hold and pleasantly sore between the legs. I knew I should go. Two nights in a row of this was just…it was twice as wrong. But as soon as I tried to sit up, his arms banded tighter around me.

  “Oh no, you’re not. You’re not sneaking out of here so easily this morning. I don’t care if I have to handcuff you to the bed. In fact…” He rose behind me and hopped off the mattress to stroll naked across the room until he got to his table, where he had a gift bag sitting. After he dug a hand inside, he turned around, grinning.

  My mouth dropped open when I saw the fuzzy, leopard-printed handcuffs dangling from his fingers. “I was going to give them to my brother for a gag wedding gift,” he explained. “But now I think I’ll get him something else. Come here, beautiful.”

  Not sure if I wanted to be bound, I screamed out a laugh and skittered away from him as he dove at me. He chased me across the mattress, grinning the entire time before he stopped with a heaving sigh and said, “No?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  But then an idea hit me. I reached for the handcuffs. Asher lifted his eyebrows at the request but handed them over easily. My smile spread big as I wiggled my eyebrows and motioned him to put his hands up by the headboard.

  He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion a second before they shot up high in realization. “Oh…you want to handcuff me?”

  I nodded and bit my lip, unable to stop grinning at the idea.

  And damn, but he was a good sport. Green eyes heating with lust, he said, “Okay.” He moved into position, stretching onto his back and lifting his arms over his head to allow me to bind him to his bed.

  Damn he looked good like this, staring up at me in eager anticipation as I licked my lips and tried to decide what I wanted to do to him first. The giggles that had been rising inside me died as the lust pooled deep in my abdomen.

  God, he was gorgeous, spread out naked like a feast for me alone. I just wanted to lick him.

  So, I did. I leaned forward, set my tongue against his navel and moved up, lapping my way over his abdomen, which quivered and tightened under me, and right up along his sternum until I reached the base of his neck. Then I sank my teeth into his throat, sucking at the softness of his flesh, inhaling the aroma that was purely him, delighting in his groan as it vibrated against my teeth.

  He shifted his face to the side to look at me, and that look in his green eyes, so full of trust and affection…I wanted to trap this moment in my memory banks forever. I stroked the tips of my fingers along either side of his face, memorizing each detail, how it felt, smelled, tasted. Then I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to his. He pulled as far away from his cuffs as he could to meet my kiss and try to take it further, but I stopped him, wanting to explore more all by myself. Grinning, he leaned back into the cushions, watching me.

  I spent a few minutes playing in his hair. He groaned every time my fingernails skimmed his scalp. Then I pressed quick tender kisses down each arm, determined not to miss a single mole or freckle. And what my mouth missed, my fingers followed along behind to gobble up.

  “Christ,” he murmured, closing his eyes and tipping his head back as he enjoyed my administrations. “That feels good.”

  With a smile, I sprinkled a little loving across his chest and down his stomach. He sucked in a breath when I reach the V at the base of his abdomen. I grinned up at him and he blew out the breath he’d just drawn to let me know I was torturing him.

  Keeping eye contact, I slid my fingers around the base of his cock and lifted it from his stomach, then I leaned in to take the head between my lips. I watched his eyes dilate as the salty flavor hit my tongue.

  “Holy…” he tried to say and then gave up. A droplet of sweat slithered down his temple.

  Not taking my gaze from his face, I sucked him in deeper until he hit the back of my throat. His lips parted and he couldn’t seem to do anything past breathing as I drew him in an inch deeper. I still couldn’t take all of him, but that didn’t stop me from pulling and drawing him back in.

  “God,” he gasped, his eyes fixed on mine only to occasionally drift to my lips still wrapped around him, and then return to my eyes again.

  I fondled his sack for a few seconds and his scrotum tightened under my tender loving care. He was getting close. But I didn’t want him finishing in my mouth.

  When I pulled off him, he groaned but didn’t argue. He only watched, his eyes heating as I picked up the condom box, which was way more than half empty by this point.

  “You are so beautiful,” he murmured as I rolled the prophylactic over his massive length. I knew he had to mean it, too, because he had no idea I could understand every word he said.

  Instead of facing him, I turned my back to him as I straddled his lap. He hummed his approval and tried to lift his lap before I was ready. So I set a hand on his hip, restraining him to the bed, and twisted with a warning smile as I shook my fingers at him.

  “Okay,” he told me, breathing hard as another trail of sweat rolled off him. “I’ll behave, I swear. But fuck, I love this game.”

  I laughed, loving it myself. Then I grabbed hold of him and positioned myself above him so he rubbed up against the opening of my anus.

  “Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” His voice was high with surprise and an overload of lust. “This is too good to be true.”

  But at the last second, I glanced back at him, winked and moved him to my pussy. “Damn, you little tease….” But the word tease came as a groan because that’s when I sat on him, impaling myself completely. “Shit. Okay. This way’s n
ot so bad either. Fuck.”

  I threw my head back and laughed as I rode him. He cursed some more, and I started spouting shit off in Spanish because I just couldn’t help myself. When I began to contract, squeezing an intense orgasm out of me, he shouted his own release and surged up his hips.

  As soon as we finished, I crawled off him and took care of his condom for him.

  “Thank you,” he murmured, eyeing me as if I’d handed him a million bucks or something. Then I curled up next to him and rested my head on his shoulder so I could look into his eyes.

  Neither of us mentioned taking off the handcuffs yet. I think we both equally liked being this way. His lashes fluttered, telling me he was getting drowsy. I smiled and stroked his jaw, and his lips tipped up under the caress.

  “You don’t know this yet,” he told me, his voice full of sleep. “But I’m going to keep you. We’re going to make this work, language barrier or not. Because nothing has ever been that amazing.”

  His green eyes were full of so much sincerity, I had to close my own and press my face against the side of his neck. “Te amo,” I told him, ashamed and guilty that I couldn’t confess it in English, that I couldn’t confess anything to him.

  I didn’t deserve this wonderful, amazing man. Everything I’d ever had with him was founded on a lie of my own making and he should have more, so much more than that.

  “Ya no puedo hacer esto,” I admitted, because I couldn’t do this to him anymore. He’d just closed his eyes as I crawled off him, needing to go, needing to escape before I burst into tears.

  Behind me, he mumbled, “What’re you doing? What’s wrong?” as I quickly tugged up my panties and grabbed my bra.

  I couldn’t face him, couldn’t say anything. So I rushed faster to escape.

  He tried to talk me into staying, even came up with the worst pronunciation for the words sit and stay known to man.

  “No! Don’t go. Please, don’t go. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I’m sorry. Shit,” he muttered, as if he thought he was messing everything up and didn’t know how to make it right. “What’s sorry in Spanish?”