Chimes from a Cracked Southern Belle
Page 33
The future groom has retired from the real world and will now concentrate on his many musical talents. The bride is returning to college to finish a long-awaited career in Beginnings and Endings.
I shivered with pleasure, rolled over and fell into a deep satisfying sleep, dreaming of my bridesmaids, picturing Annie Sue and Aunt Weepie, Amber and a few others in a pink silk with dyed-to-match shoes. I didn’t stir until I could not ignore the jangling phone any longer.
I’d forgotten to cut off the ringer or slide the volume to “Low.”
MAMA: “Prudy? Prudy! I know you’re there. You pick up the phone right this minute, young lady. Make that Middle-Aged Lady. PRUDY! Pick it up now or I’m going to have to check myself into the hospital for a pre-meditated stroke.
This . . . this . . . announcement is in the poorest of taste. Did you even consider my bridge biddies? I’m going, Prudy. I’m hanging up and heading to Eckerd’s as soon as they open. My blood pressure is sky-rocketing. I don’t believe in a million—”
I fumbled along the nightstand until I grabbed what felt like a phone. “Mama,” I said, groggily. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be all right. I promise.”
And as I said it, I felt the words sinking in, settling near the torn corners of my heart, the old hurts at last closing, stitched and embroidered with the thickest red threads of love. Threads that weren’t likely to break. Not this time.
Author’s Note
While the photo on the front cover of this novel may (or may not be) of me, the book has nothing to do with my life. Well, except my mother is a bit like Lucinda Millings.
All other plot lines and characters are fictional. However, Annie Sue truly was a 104-year-old woman I knew who actually drove me in her car to the DMV to try to get her license renewed. And yes, I almost didn’t survive the drive. Bless her dearly departed heart.
The rest, I promise, are people perhaps in my subconscious.
The premise of the novel arose from an incident in which a woman was mowed down by a church van driven by her crazed preacher husband. This actually happened near my hometown of Asheville, North Carolina.
I met this heroic domestic abuse survivor fifteen or more years ago and never forgot her courage and capacity to endure what would have put most women in their graves. I don’t remember her name, but will never forget her grace and wisdom.
About the Author
Susan Reinhardt, a well-known, award-winning columnist from Asheville, North Carolina, is author of six books and has collaborated on many best-selling anthologies. Her Amazon and Barnes & Noble best-selling book of humor, Not Tonight Honey, Wait ’Til I’m a Size 6, is now in its seventh printing. This was followed by Don’t Sleep with a Bubba, A Book of the Year winner, and Dishing with the Kitchen Virgin, a collection of hilarious culinary disasters with a dash of PG-13 humor. All were published by Kensington in New York City. Her recent books include participating in the Malaprop’s Bookstore/Café best-seller, Naked Came the Leaf Peeper, in which a dozen of Western North Carolina’s most well-known authors went wild with a serial novel, each taking a turn with his or her own chapter. The book was highly praised by Charles Frazier, author of Cold Mountain, along with Eat Pray Love’s Elizabeth Gilbert. In November 2012, she and co-author and editor DC Stanfa released Fifty Shades of Funny: Hook-Ups, Break-Ups, and Crack-Ups, featuring some of the most famous authors and bloggers around.
In addition to writing, she’s a stand-up comedian, public speaker, public servant, taxi driver to her teen daughter, debit card to her 21-year-old son and a borderline candidate to appear on Hoarding: Buried Alive if you saw her bedroom/office and the amount of books and stacked papers.
She is mother of two: daughter Lindsey and son Niles. They are her true loves and open pockets of her heart and wallet.
Reinhardt is involved in many charities, including child and animal welfare groups and is a community volunteer.
To book her for speaking, comedy or book club events, go to her website www.susanreinhardt.com or contact her through Facebook at Susan Gambrell Reinhardt. E-mail her at reinhardtnc@yahoo.com.