Distrust (Smirnov Bratva Book 1)

by T. L Smith

  “I don’t know what I should be doing,” I say as he comes up, now standing in front of me.

  He grabs my hand and places it on his heart. “Nothing, you don’t need to do anything, just be in here.” I nod my head because I am in there.

  I don’t want to take charge, that’s not how this story goes. I don’t want to disconnect by going fast just so I can forget all the things that are running through my head. I want to stay in the here and now.

  My hands start to slide up and down his body, his lips kissing my neck, pulling our naked bodies as close as humanly possible. When I know I can’t contain myself anymore, I push him to the bed and climb on top of him. His smug grin looks up at me because he knows exactly who I am, even if I’m not entirely sure myself. All my life I’ve been molded to be this woman, a woman who does exactly as she’s told, a woman who has no self-worth. This man has shown me differently. He’s slowly pulling down those walls I’ve built, and revealed a completely different me.

  Our hands and bodies don’t sync, we’re too rushed, the need too high. It isn’t what making love is all about, it’s all about feeling each other’s needs as much as possible. He fucks me hard, I push him just as hard, and before I know it we’re on the floor, and he’s gripping the end of the bedding as I sit on him and ride him like I’ve never done before. My knees hurt with each rock, my body trembles with each push. I scream and collapse straight onto him, except he isn’t finished. He starts to lift me up and down, rocking himself into me to finish himself off, and then he grips my ass hard, leaving a mark on me for sure.

  We lay still, unable to move.

  “You can’t leave me now. It’s too late for that,” he says after a few deep breathes. I don’t argue with him because I could never leave even if I wanted to, my heart wouldn’t allow it. He starts to trace my body with his fingers, slowly over my ass, then up my back. I almost fall asleep before he picks me up and places us both on the bed.

  “I do,” I say, answering his question regarding the text message he sent me earlier, about if I loved him.

  “I already knew it.” I feel his breathing beneath me, he doesn’t want to move, so I stay glued to him. “You’ll be here when I wake,” he states, not giving me a choice.

  I laugh. “But it’s so much fun the other way,” I tease him.

  “No, it’s not.”

  I grip onto him tightly before my eyes start to close. Maybe it will be nicer to wake up with him by my side, instead of leaving before he wakes? He’s a deep sleeper, even though I would kiss his cheek every time I left, he never knew. I wished several times he would catch me, and make me stay. But I knew it would be better if I left. For the both of us. Not tonight, though, tonight I have no intention to leave at all. Tonight I stay all night.

  Chapter 29

  Kazier

  I’ve woken up with her asleep next to me for the last two nights. We haven’t been able to leave the house, at all. Glued to each other’s side. I’ve learned her favorite movies, and I know every tickle spot on her body.

  She calls her brother daily, and her father phones every day as well, but she never answers. Every time she sees his name, her mood instantly changes to sad. I kiss her until she forgets, and all she can think of is me.

  I look down at her now. She’s lying on the floor in nothing but a button up shirt of mine, her back on the wooden floorboards, her legs up on the couch as she tells me a story about her friend Pollie, who I’ve learned is her only friend. She has no one else, just her. She smiles every time she says her name speaking about how beautifully she plays, and how loving she is. She says she’s never met another soul as beautiful as hers.

  “I have.” I reach out and stop her rubbing her feet on the couch, she kicks away and sits up to look at me.

  “Who?”

  “My mother,” I tell her honestly. My mother’s caring and calming nature were unlike anyone I’d ever met.

  She jumps up fast, her legs wrap around my waist and she kisses me, removing my pain, the same way I remove hers. Just as I slip my hands up her shirt, the doorbell rings and she pulls back. I ignore whoever’s at the door because I couldn’t care less.

  “Kazier,” she says pulling away.

  I hold onto her tightly effectively stopping her from moving and pick her up to carry her with me. I cannot bear to be without her. When I reach the door, she’s trying to pull back when I bite her chin, but she just giggles at me like it’s nothing. Pulling the door open, her back is to four people who are staring at her backside.

  “Damn,” Anton says looking straight at her ass. She pulls her hands away from me, knowing I’ll hold her up as she tries to pull down the shirt.

  “What are you clowns doing here?”

  Anton hip and shoulders me out of the way as he makes his way into the house. I step back and they all follow him inside. Freya stares hard at Elina as she walks past. Elina’s head is tucked into my shoulder, her hands at the back of her top holding it down. I walk straight past them and into my room, she jumps down and starts to pull on her jeans. I grin while watching her, excited to take them off again once I kick them out.

  “We can’t be hermits forever,” she says smiling. “Plus, I haven’t met your friends properly.” She grabs my hand as she pulls me to start walking. They stop talking as we step out, all eyes trained on us. Elina lets go of my hand and walks to Death offering her hand. I notice everyone trying to contain their laughter because we all know that he isn’t going to shake her hand. Instead, he actually looks at it like it’s poison and he needs to immediately rid it from his system. She stands there for a few seconds with her hand held awkwardly in mid-air. Anton pushes Death away and takes her hand, kissing the top.

  “Anton… you probably know all about me,” he says stepping back.

  I can tell she doesn’t know what to say, so she laughs instead. Anton introduces her to Viktor and Death, then lastly Freya, who still looks at her like she’s some kind of stain.

  “You’re the one who clocked me when I was tied up,” Elina says to her.

  Freya crosses her arms over her chest and snickers. “It felt good,” is all the spitfire says back.

  “I wouldn’t attempt it again. One is all you get.” Freya nods her head and Elina steps back into my arms.

  “Why are you all here?”

  “We’re going all out tonight. So you will actually have to leave the house. Can you believe it? We have someone to find. Plus, I want to see Freya drunk,” Anton says putting his arm around her. She nudges him hard, making him remove his hand and turns her lips up in a semi-smirk come grimace.

  “No,” I answer shaking my head.

  Elina turns in my arms and nods her head. I don’t want to come out from our bubble just yet, I like it here, but I concede. “Fine.”

  ****

  The last time I walked into this place, I took Elina and kidnapped her. Now I walk in with her on my arm. She’s dressed the same as one of the first nights I saw her—a dress that wraps around her body which I could expose with just one pull. My hand is around her waist, my fingers playing with the bow that holds it together.

  She notices, smiles and leans into my ear. “I bought these dresses just for you, I know how much you love them,” she says as we continue to walk. I watch her, but I’m also eyeing the room for Stephon. I doubt he’s still even in the country, especially since he knows I will be hunting for him. He can’t possibly think he could set me up, and I wouldn’t retaliate. It won’t happen. I spot the guys and Freya in the same place we were sitting last time. Bottles of vodka surround their table, and Freya and Anton are having a drink off. Cackling at each other as they slam the glass to the table once they finish it.

  Before we sit down Elina pulls away from me. I have to control myself, I have to remember that I can let her walk a few feet away without getting killed, or leaving me. She doesn’t wander far, and as soon as I sit down I recognize the person she’s with. Her friend. She takes hold of her arm and walks over to
us. Her hand is tight in Pollie’s; I can see how protective she is of her. She whispers to her, while she looks around at us. None of us can hear any words that leave her mouth, though I have no doubt her friend can by the way she nods her head in confirmation.

  “Guys, this is Pollie.” Elina pulls her friend down to sit next to her. Elina takes the seat next to me, my hand goes directly to her thigh, and I inch it up as far as I can without showing much, she squeezes them together but doesn’t stop me.

  Pollie starts to say hello to everyone, and everyone pretty much says hello back, except Death, he sits there and stares at her. I know she can’t see it, though, but at a guess I’m sure she can feel it.

  We sit there and chat, Anton trying to get us to agree with him that his muscles are bigger than Viktor’s. They aren’t, and he’s getting shitty that no one agrees with him. Freya is almost drunk, her eyes are glassing over, and she actually smiles and speaks normally to Elina.

  A song comes on and Elina starts rocking back and forth to the music. I stand and pull her up, taking her to the dance floor. She doesn’t complain as she dances behind me, shaking her hips. As soon as we stop my hands go to her waist and I pull her in close. Her sexy little waist starts shaking super close, and soon I’m trying to push my cock near her pussy. She knows what she’s doing. She teases me for the entire dance, leaning in extra close, biting my ear harder than expected, then she pulls away and turns around moving her ass and grinding it on me. Just as I’m about to take her mouth, a gunshot rings out. The lights are switched on and everyone starts rushing for the nearest door. We stand there until the dance floor is clear, and look up to see Viktor with a gun in his hand, pointed across the room at Stephon. Anton has his wife by the hair, as she tries to claw at him to let her go.

  “Oh my God, Pollie,” Elina says and runs away from me. By the time I look around the club is empty and all that’s left is Stephon’s goons plus all of us.

  Elina is trying to calm Pollie down as she cries. Death looks back to her and raises his eyebrows as if to say shut the fuck up.

  I make my way back to them slowly, and when I reach them another shot rings out. Stephon has the gun in his hands and a smug look on his face. Anton calls his name, gaining his attention, then he wraps both hands around his wife’s head and snaps.

  Pollie screams loudly and I tap Death to give him the sign to remove her. He picks her up and starts toward the door, two bouncers block his way. Just as I’m about to make my way over to him to help, he shuffles Pollie so she clings around him, holding onto him like a monkey, then he raises his gun shooting both men and stepping over their bodies as he walks out the door with Pollie strapped to him.

  “I wouldn’t move,” Anton says to Stephon as he looks behind him. Viktor still has the gun trained on him, and Anton takes the drink that Freya hands him and chugs it back. Elina comes over to my side, I position her behind my back, her hands cling on tight. Freya, well, she sits in the same spot with a bottle of vodka not caring or moving.

  Maybe she’s right for Anton, not so much Viktor after all.

  “Shoot him already,” Freya calls out to Viktor. He lapses his attention when he turns to look at her, and it gives Stephon the perfect opportunity to run away. Shots start firing aiming for him. None hit, they all hit his bodyguards. Soon, it’s just us standing there with sirens coming closer.

  “We have to leave,” Elina says pulling away and grabbing Freya by the hand to pull her up. She laughs at her and hits her hand away. Viktor steps in, grabs her and throws her over his shoulder. She giggles like a school girl.

  “Hands up!” We all stop moving. Maybe they were closer than we thought? Each and every one of our hands raise as we turn to see at least twenty guns pointed at our heads.

  Chapter 30

  Elina

  We were arrested, that’s no surprise. Not at all.

  But what did surprise me the most is when I made bail, I didn’t expect to see my father standing out the front waiting for me. I don’t walk to him, too afraid of what will leave his mouth. He stands where he is, two men flanking either side of him. And he just stares at me. I turn trying to see if I can find Kazier, but I can’t.

  “He’s gone,” my father says now from behind me. He grabs my arm and starts to pull me out the door. I don’t make a scene, I learned long ago that is not something we should do. So I follow as he grips me hard on my arm, walking to his car. One of his men opens the back door and he pushes me in, climbing in after me. He doesn’t speak till we are almost home.

  “Such a disappointment you turned out to be,” he says shaking his head. “I can’t even marry you off! No one in our family will want you now that you have chosen him,” he huffs.

  We make our way home, and he pulls the door open and climbs out of the car. I sit in there unable to move. I don’t want to get out. I don’t want to walk back into that house ever again. Except, I know, he won’t let me just walk away now he has me again. He thinks of me as his property. I’m his puppet to do with as he pleases.

  One of his men opens my door while my father stands at the front of the house waiting for me. His foot taps on the ground, so I know his patience is wearing thin with me. He wants me out. As soon as my high heel hits the concrete ground, he opens the front door and walks inside. I pause, wondering if I could run fast enough. Wondering if one of his men would pick me up before I got to the road.

  He isn’t in the hallway when I enter and I bolt straight for my room. As soon as I’m in there I ring Kazier, hoping his phone answers. It rings, then rings some more. Then I ring Pollie, wanting to make sure she is okay, hoping she won’t hate me.

  “Elina,” she says into the phone.

  “Oh thank God, I’m so sorry, Pollie,” I say laying back onto my bed.

  “I don’t know where I am Elina,” she whispers into the phone.

  I sit up worried. I remember that guy that took her. What did they call him? Death. He wasn’t pleasant that’s for sure.

  “What do you mean? Are you by yourself?”

  “No, I can feel him staring at me. He just isn’t speaking.”

  “Has he said anything?” I ask confused.

  “He told me not to move. I haven’t moved, Elina. I’ve been in the same spot with my phone clutched in my hand. I’m not sure if he scares me or not. Is that weird? I should be very scared, right?”

  I want to tell her yes because just by looking at him you know you don’t want to be around him.

  “No, don’t be scared. He hasn’t hurt you, right?”

  “That’s the weird thing, he’s been feeding me. Making me eat. The weirdness of it calmed me down, but something smells really bad here.”

  “I’m going to try to call Kazier again. Ask him if you can leave while I’m on the phone.”

  She goes silent for a second before she speaks again, “Ummm, excuse me, Mister, would I be able to leave now?”

  I hear his reply automatically. “No.” He’s close to her. I wonder if he’s listening to everything she says. Probably.

  “Argghh. Elina your friends are very odd, and I don’t think I want to go out with you all ever again. Sorry.”

  “It’s fine, Pollie. I tried to tell you this. Don’t worry, I’ll reach Kazier and he will come get you.”

  I hang up the phone and try his cell phone again, but there’s no answer. A knock comes on my door, I sit there with my phone to my ear trying to call again, then again. Hoping he picks up before whoever is on the other side of that door kicks it in.

  “Elina, you have five seconds,” my father’s voice booms through the closed door. I try one more time, standing and walking to the door as the phone rings out. I pull the door open to his angry stare and his hands clenched to his sides. He looks down to my phone then reaches for it and snatches it from my hands. He drops it to the floor, cracking it under the heel of his foot.

  “You trying to call that boy.” He laughs. “You’re not going back to him. I am still your father, and you are my d
aughter.” I remember that day, the day I knew I’d never trust my father ever again.

  He used me. I remember when Stephon came to my door. I’d never had a problem with Stephon, but I also never liked the man. He was conniving and all kinds of wrong. So when he knocked on the front door and I was the only one home it surprised me. He smiled and asked if he could come in to talk. He never wanted to talk. He looked down at the floor as he took three steps inside, then just as I was shutting the door he was behind me with his hands around my neck. He whispered in my ear that he was going to kill everyone, and he was starting with me. Then his men opened the door, and he walked me to the car. He informed me that my father suggested that he used me, as I was Kazier’s only weakness. It didn’t shock me that I was being used, I knew that. But Kazier was also being used to begin with. What I didn’t think was that I would be the leverage used, and possibly killed, because my father thought the only way to destroy him was to use and possibly kill me.

  “I fucking quit this family,” I say attempting to shut the door in my father’s face. He places his foot in the doorway and pushes it open, knocking me back as he does.

  “You can’t quit. You can never quit. You are my blood. So you are my property.” He grins while he walks in.

  “Get the fuck out,” I say walking to the other side of the bed and grabbing a bag. I start with the clothes on my bed and begin to shove them in.

  He watches me before he speaks. “You aren’t leaving,” he says just as two of his men appear behind him.

  “You can’t make me stay, I’m a fucking adult.” I’ve never moved out of my childhood home, never not lived under his roof. I was only meant to move out when I was married. He clicks his fingers in the air, and the men start to walk to me. One grabs my arm as I back away, the other comes around and reaches for the other arm, I bring my hand down and slam my fist straight into his balls.