Second Chance (A Secret Baby Romance Novel)

by Carter, Charity

I could tell that CJ was disappointed. It was visible in his eyes. “Does this mean the camping trip is off?”

  The sound of sadness in his voice made me feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

  “I don’t see why we’d have to do that. We can camp just me and you unless you want to cancel it since Jeremy can’t be there.”

  I waited for CJ to reply, but he continued looking out the window.

  “You want to know what I think we should do?” I asked as CJ looked towards me. “I think we should just say to hell with the fact that my brother can’t make it. I think we should enjoy the trip anyway. It’ll be just us, two guys on a camping adventure. I mean, I could sure use some fresh country air and relaxation.”

  “Yeah, I could too,” CJ said as he nodded.

  “Good. Let’s go ahead and go camping. I’m not the best as it, but I can teach you how to fish while we’re there. I know you said you’ve never gone fishing, but what about camping?”

  “No, I’ve never been camping. I was going to sleep out in the backyard one time, but I heard some weird noises so I came back in.”

  Hearing that he’d never so much as gone camping made me sad. A boy his age should have at least experienced nature. I knew it was my fault. If I hadn’t been so selfish years ago, Latrice would have never left, and CJ wouldn’t have had to grow up without a father.

  “So why don’t we go ahead and do this thing. We’ll do the same things we were going to do before. The only difference will be that it’ll just be the two of us. Does that sound good to you?”

  CJ looked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So you want to go and hang out with just me for the weekend?”

  “Sure do,” I replied, trying to fight back the tears forming in my eyes. He had no idea how much I wanted to bond with him. “Of course, that has to be okay with you. Do you want to spend the weekend with just me?”

  “Yes,” he smiled. “Let’s go camping.”

  “All right. Let’s get our things loaded up and get out on the road.”

  The next morning, I was up and awake much earlier than any human should ever be up. I had way too much on my mind and was having trouble sleeping, so I made a pot of coffee and went out onto the porch to watch the sun rise up over the mountains. It was a beautiful sight.

  CJ was sleeping peacefully. I debated waking him up so he could see the sunrise as well, but I decided to let him rest. The two of us had stayed up late the night before talking about fishing and camping.

  It was a whole new world to him, and he was fascinated by it all. He was truly excited to be able to do some of the things we were talking about.

  He helped load all the supplies in the truck before we came to the cabin and he helped unload them all as well. He had a good time helping me collect firewood for the fireplace in the cabin. I learned that he’d never even sat in front of a real, working fireplace before that night. It was one of many firsts that I was glad we got to share together.

  I showed CJ how to stack the wood we collected and left him to do that while I went into the kitchen to make us some food. I wanted it to be as campy as possible, so I made some baked beans with hot dogs cut up into them. He kind of gave it the side eye, but he ate all of it and went back for seconds.

  The meal gave him an opportunity to talk to me without anyone else around, and it gave me the opportunity to get to know my son a little bit better. He told me about the kids he used to hang around with back in Minnesota. He told me about how he’d sent them emails, but he never heard back from any of them.

  He also talked a lot about his grandparents and thought it was neat that I’d known them long before he was even born. I discovered that he and his mother were planning a trip to Branson to see them over the Christmas holiday.

  I looked around the cabin grounds and realized how great it was that CJ and I were getting to spend time alone together in it. I never really cared for it before.

  There was nothing wrong with it, but it wasn’t usually my thing. I could see that changing, though. I could see it becoming one of my favorite places in the world.

  I took a big sip of my coffee right as the sun began to peek over the mountains when I heard the unmistakable sounds of footsteps behind me. I turned to see CJ standing in the doorway wrapped in a blanket.

  “Good morning,” I said as he was busy wiping the sleep out of his eyes.

  “Morning. Do you always get up this early?” CJ asked, shivering from the cool mountain air.

  “Not usually, but early in the morning is the best time to go fishing. This is when the fish are the hungriest.”

  “Really? Let me go get dressed.”

  CJ ran back into the cabin, dropping his blanket along the way. Seeing his eyes widen with excitement had already made my day, and I knew the day was only going to get better.

  * * *

  CJ was a pro when it came to fishing. As a matter of fact, I barely had a nibble all day while he was able to fill the cooler with fish that he caught.

  It was amazing to his face light up each time his bobber went under the water.

  Back at the cabin, CJ smiled when I opened the cooler of fish he’d caught. We had enough to cook up over the two days we had left at camp with plenty leftover to take home to Latrice. I rolled up my sleeves so I could clean and gut the fish. CJ jumped right in and helped me as well.

  I could almost smell the cornmeal when I thought about what these fish would taste like when Latrice battered them and fried them up. I amazed myself with how easy it was to want Latrice to be an everyday part of my life.

  While our secret evening adventures behind the back yard of her house were nice, I wanted more. I wanted us to be together as a family. I wanted to be with them forever. I wanted her and I to sit on that porch swing while we planned on growing old together.

  I wanted to be able to tell her that since she came back, she’d done a number on me. She’d made me want to be a better person and so far, I was.

  Looking back over at CJ, it warmed my heart to see him so excited, but I wondered if he was going to open up to me. We’d been alone together for over 24 hours, and our conversation had been mostly casual.

  He talked a lot about how things had been going at school and asked me a lot of questions about my job as a juvenile officer.

  I knew that patience was essential, but I found myself getting anxious. I really wanted to get things out into the open with CJ, but it was important to let him be the one to bring it up. I went inside to put away the fishing poles and heard CJ follow behind me a few minutes later.

  “You were amazing today,” I told him. “I’ve never caught that many fish in one day. It’s probably because you were using Jeremy’s rod today. It’s been in the Sparks family for years and everyone that’s used it has had great luck with it.”

  “That explains why I was so good with it then.”

  I turned to look at him. “What do you mean?”

  “If people in the Sparks family have had good luck with that pole, that explains why I did so good with it today. I’m a Sparks.”

  I swallowed deeply and felt my pulse start to race. I leaned back against the wall and put my complete attention on CJ, waiting for him to look up at me.

  “How do you figure?” I already knew the answer to the question, but I wanted nothing more than to hear the words come out of my son’s mouth.

  CJ seemed to be clamming up again, and I could see him trying to muster up all the courage he had. “I’m not really sure how to put this in words. I don’t want you to be upset, and I want you to know that my mom wanted you to know this sooner, but I wouldn’t let her. I’ll tell you if you swear you won’t be mad at her.”

  “Of course. I could never be mad at your mom,” I informed him. “Tell me what you’re talking about.”

  “Okay,” CJ fumbled around with his hands. “This is kind of big news. You might want to have a seat.”

  I looked at his face, and he was so nervous that he looked like he was
going to start crying. I didn’t want to make him any more anxious, so I took a seat on the couch in front of the fireplace.

  “Okay, you have no idea how hard it is for me to tell you this, and I really hope you aren’t going to get mad at me. My last name is Walker, but I’m really a Sparks. I’m a Sparks because you’re my daddy.”

  Even though I knew the words were coming, I still felt like I’d been punched in the gut and all the air had left my body. Although the words he was saying came as no surprise to me, the look in his eyes did.

  He was scared and uncertain of what was going to happen next. Latrice wasn’t kidding when she said CJ was afraid of me accepting me.

  “I’m your daddy?” I asked softly. “Are you telling me that you’re my son?”

  “Yes. That’s the real reason that we have the same name. I was going to tell you at the grocery store, but I got scared. I know this is a lot to know, and I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore after this.”

  I got up off the couch and walked over to where CJ was standing and gave him a hug. The hard part was over.

  He’d been brave enough to tell me the truth about me being his father, and I had to do my part to show him that he was loved and how much I wanted to be a part of his life.

  “CJ, you have no idea how happy you’ve just made me. I’ve loved spending time with you before I knew who you were. Now that I know you’re my son, I’m filled with happiness. Thank you so much for telling me.”

  “So are you saying you want to be my dad?”

  “Not only is that what I want, but I'm also going to make sure that I’m here for you for the rest of my life.”

  “Are you sure? Do you really mean that?”

  “I mean it more than you could ever know.”

  He gave me a big hug. “What about my last name, though? Is it going to stay Walker or will it change to Sparks now that you know who I am?”

  “It all depends. What do you want your last name to be?”

  “I think I’d really like to be a Sparks. All the kids at school would be so jealous.”

  I laughed at the notion that he’d want to change his last name just so all of his friends would know he was part of our family.

  “I’d like that a lot as well. We’ll have to talk to your mom though and see what she thinks about it. We can do that when we get back if you’d like.”

  “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

  We both moved into the kitchen where CJ sat down at the kitchen table while I opened the fridge. “You want a soda?”

  “Yes. Orange please.”

  I grabbed a soda for him and a bottle of water for myself and sat down at the table across from him. He stared at me as if he was trying to read my thoughts. I was doing the exact same thing to him.

  It was hard to not let my emotions take over, but I was working hard to keep them in check. I didn’t want to overwhelm CJ.

  “Do you want me to keep calling you Officer Sparks or would it be okay with you if I called you dad?” CJ asked in a hushed tone.

  I thought I was going to lose it right then and there. My emotions were starting to overpower me as I felt a thick lump in my throat that made me wonder if I was even going to be able to answer him at all.

  I’d been happy enough that he wanted me to know that I was his dad. I didn’t expect him to be ready to call me that already. Suddenly, I felt the pride that only a parent can feel when they look at their child.

  “I’d like it if you called me dad,” I told him as tears started to flow from my eyes. I reached out and pulled CJ into me, hugging him as tightly I could. It was the first true hug between a father and son. “I would be so happy if you called me that.”

  For the first time all weekend, I saw CJ begin to relax. I was sure he was just happy to have such a huge weight off his chest. As I sat there watching him drink his soda, I started thinking about the rest of our lives.

  Now that I had my son in an official capacity, I knew even more how much I needed his mother in my life as well. My life wouldn’t be complete until we were a real family.

  Later that evening, CJ and I were cleaning up our dishes after dinner when I told him we should make another trip to the cabin soon. He liked the idea until I brought up bringing his mother along with us.

  “Nah, I don’t think we should that,” he told me in the most matter of fact tone I’d ever heard.

  “You don’t think so? I think she’d love it out here.”

  “She probably would, but I don’t think she’d come out here with you.”

  “Why do you think that? She and I are getting along just fine.”

  “Yeah, but she doesn’t want to date you. I wish she would, especially now that you know you’re my dad, but she doesn’t want to.”

  “Really? She doesn’t want to date me? How do you know that?” Little did he know that I wasn’t interested in dating his mom. If I had my way, I was going to make that woman my wife.

  “Because that’s what she told me. You remember when we had that cookout, and she came and picked me up late? When we got home, I was telling her that I almost told you that you were my daddy. I asked her if when you knew if we could all be a family together and all she said was no.”

  I remembered that night well. I had wondered whether or not she was going to come out to our secret spot that evening. It made sense for her to be so late if she was having a deep conversation with CJ.

  “Did you mother bother telling you why she wouldn’t want to date me?”

  “Yeah, she told me all about it. She said she loved you a long time ago, but she wasn’t in love with you anymore. She also said that you’d have no problem finding someone and that you’d eventually settle down with and get married.”

  I wasn’t going to say the words to CJ, but I knew his mother was full of shit. She could try to deny it all she wanted, but for her to say that we were not in love with each other was false.

  She might have been able to put up a good act in front of our son, but we could see the truth in each other’s eyes.

  Was the problem that I was hard to read? Was she trying to protect her heart despite what she was feeling? Did she not know that I loved her with all of my heart?

  As I asked these questions in my head, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Of course, she didn’t know. There was no way that Latrice could know how I was feeling. In the last month since she’d come back into my life, I hadn’t told her anything.

  We’d gotten together almost every night behind her back yard making love under the stars. Did she think we were just casually screwing?

  Of course that’s what she thought. I hadn’t said or done anything to make her think otherwise. Sure, I sent her flowers, but that was all I did. I realized that it hadn’t been nearly enough, and I was already starting to beat myself up over it.

  “Was she right, dad? Do you think you’ll get married to someone eventually?”

  “There’s no chance of that happening. Your mother was always the only woman I’d ever consider marrying, and that’s as true today as it’s ever been.”

  “Have you told her any of this, because I don’t think she knows.”

  “I don’t think she does either. I’ve tried showing her, but I don’t think what I’ve done has worked out so well. Maybe we can try a different tactic. Let’s go sit on the couch. I think I have a plan you can help me out with.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Latrice

  I couldn’t believe how nice all the houses were as I pulled into Chance’s subdivision. It was only a few years old, and every house looked like it should be a display model. When I moved away, the whole area was nothing but trees and wooded lots. So much had changed during the time I was gone.

  It hadn’t even occurred to me that I hadn’t been to Chance’s house since coming back, but then again, we had been so busy doing our own thing that it never came up.

  I hadn’t even planned on being there that day, but Chance had called and told me that while he
was coming back from camping, he found out that a very important package was going to be delivered to his house, so he wouldn’t be able to bring CJ home.

  He didn’t offer many details, so I figured it probably had something to do with his job.

  I parked my car in the driveway, walked up the stairs and rang the doorbell. Chance must have seen me coming because he answered the door only a second or two later.

  “Latrice,” he said with a smile. The way he looked at me made me feel giddy, and my pulse started to race. Every time I saw him felt like the first time all over again.

  “Hi, Chance,” I replied, realizing how much I’d missed seeing him for the three days he was camping with CJ.

  “Come on in. I’ll give you the grand tour,” he winked.

  I walked into the house as he stepped aside and closed the door behind me. I loved the way his house looked. It was modern with a nice, spacious open floor plan.

  “So, CJ finally talked to you?” I whispered, unsure of where our son was at the moment. Chance didn’t say anything. Instead, he smiled and nodded his head.

  “That’s awesome. I’m happy it’s finally out in the open. I know how important that was for you.”

  “It was the most important thing in the world.”

  I was truly happy for him but wasn’t sure what else to say about the subject. Everything that had needed to be said had already been said.

  As I stood in silence, I started to realize how nervous I was. I felt like a girl who was getting ready to go out on her first date. It was ridiculous the way that man could make me feel.

  “So where is CJ? Is he ready to head home?”

  “CJ’s not here right now.”

  “What do you mean he’s not here? I thought you needed me to come and get him.”

  “I only said that you’d have to come here because I was waiting on a package. I never said it was to pick up CJ.”

  “I'm confused. Where’s my son?” I asked, becoming more confused by the second.

  “He’s with Jeremy. When he found out we’d come back early, he wanted to spend some time with his nephew. They’re tinkering with one of his bikes. I didn’t think you’d care. Hopefully, it’s not a problem.”