Sweet and Sexy

by Jeff Adams

  “You’re kinda evil,” I said when he stopped.

  “Sorry. The laughing was too cute.”

  “Just remember, I know where your ticklish spots are, too.” I caressed the spot to the left of his belly button and he convulsed, straining not to laugh. I’d never seen anyone with such a specific ticklish spot, but he had it, and I exploited it whenever I needed to.

  “Okay, okay, sorry.”

  We settled down. Matty was on his back, so I took advantage and draped myself on him.

  “So, a church wedding?” He brought us back to the subject.

  “We can do something else,” I said, because I really didn’t want this to be a sticking point. “There are a million options.”

  “It’s what you want, though.”

  “But not you. The wedding has to be perfect for us.”

  His brow creased. I was making him think really hard, and it was too early for that.

  “I really don’t have a connection to the church. My parents never went. Yeah, I was baptized because it’s what you were supposed to do with your kid, but I don’t remember a single Sunday, even when I was young, that we went. Do I have faith? Yeah. Do I pray? Sometimes. Am I religious?” He paused and got quieter. “I don’t know.”

  I ran my hand over his chest, trying to comfort him. He sounded out of sorts and I didn’t like that.

  “It’s okay. I promise I’m not going to get hung up over this. We’ll find the right place to have our wedding. I would like it to be in front of our family and friends though, so while I’d love to become your husband this week, I’d like to consider something more inclusive.”

  Matty nodded, but I could tell he was still grinding on the church thing.

  “What are you thinking?” I finally asked.

  He continued to stay silent for a few moments, and I let him have the time even though I kinda dreaded what I might hear.

  “Do you think I could talk to Pastor…ummm. Damn, I’ve forgotten his name.”

  Another surprise.

  “Yeah. I’m sure Pastor Stein would meet with you.”

  “Have you talked with him before? Is he as nice as he seems from the, uhm, stage?”

  I let out a small laugh because of the way he said “stage.” It was too cute.

  “You mean the pulpit? I asked, giving a slight correction. “Yes, he’s that nice. I’ve met with him privately a couple times.”

  “Really?”

  I nodded. “I needed to talk to someone who wasn’t my family when I was sorting out my feelings for you. Obviously I had no issues with gay people, but it was so unexpected to go from what I thought I knew about myself to discovering something else. I knew my parents and close friends would be okay, but it was weird for me.”

  “And he was cool with that talk?”

  “Of course. You know the church is welcoming. I needed someone who could help me sort through my confusion without just telling me it was all okay. He did that.”

  “I never knew about this.” Matty ran his hand over my head, tousling my hair.

  “Not even my brothers know. I needed to sort it out since I didn’t want to seem confused when I started being public about it. I also didn’t want you to get mixed up in my issues, especially since I was sure I wanted you as a boyfriend.”

  “Wow. I don’t know that I’d have the balls for that kind of conversation with a minister.”

  I shrugged. “He let me work things out, mostly for myself. He had some good advice though, as you would expect.”

  “I’ll give him a call and see about an appointment.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “It’s important to you so, I should figure out if it’s something I can be comfortable with.”

  I planted a kiss on his lips.

  “Thank you. I promise if, after you talk to him, you don’t want to do it there, we’ll find somewhere else. In the meantime, we can start to figure out all the other fun stuff, like what to wear, what kind of food and drink, who’s in the wedding party and maybe the most important thing—where’s the honeymoon.”

  “Hmmmmm…. Yes. Where can we go for a week to lie around and have sex in every imaginable way?”

  I grinned and almost burst out laughing again. “Is that all you’re planning, a week of sex?”

  “Why not?”

  “Well, I was thinking it could be more split between sex and good food.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Excellent point. Yes, food’s important. We need lots of tasty food and hot sex to kick off the next phase of our lives.”

  We kissed again, more urgently than we had been.

  “Actually,” he said, softly, “all I really need is you. The rest is just a bonus.”

  Chapter 14: Matt

  I’d been in this church many times over the years I’d been with Leo. Christmas time, Easter, random other days when we’d go with his parents before lunch at their house.

  Pastor Stein always delivered an inspirational service. I believed there was a God. I considered myself a Christian even though church wasn’t a routine part of my life. I had no idea how the pastor would react to that.

  When I called, I didn’t expect he’d see me so soon. I figured it’d be a couple weeks at least. His secretary, however, scheduled me for two days later. I don’t know if it’s because I said I was Leo’s fiancé, or if he just had the time. At least I didn’t have too much time to over think the talk.

  The office part of the church was pretty utilitarian when compared with the ornate sanctuary. There were offices and classrooms with plenty of posters with passages from the Bible, which I suspected were here for the kids who roamed the halls for Sunday school.

  I was a few minutes early because I certainly didn’t want to be late to see the pastor. In some ways it felt like I was called to the principal’s office. Even though Leo told me the great story about him and Pastor Stein, I was still skittish about this meeting.

  Right at three-thirty, the pastor’s door opened.

  “Matt, please come in.” I stood and shook his outstretched hand. He had a warm smile and firm handshake. “It’s good to see you again. And congratulations. I heard from Mary,” he gestured to his secretary, “that you and Leo are engaged. That’s wonderful.”

  This man seemed more like a grandfather than a minister, or at least what I thought a minister would be like. I had no idea how old he was, but since he was talking to Leo ten years ago, I figured he had to be at least in his fifties like our parents were. I already felt more at ease.

  “Thank you for seeing me, sir, especially on such short notice.”

  “Please call me Richard. We don’t need to stand on all that formality.”

  As he said that, I realized how casual he was. He was in a black shirt, which looked like it had room for a white collar, but he also wore dark blue jeans and sneakers. Previously I’d only ever seen him dressed for Sunday service.

  “Do you need anything, coffee, water?” he asked as he went behind his desk and gestured for me to sit.

  “No, thank you,” I said, taking one of the chairs he offered.

  The office was outfitted in dark wood and had one wall lined with books. It was comfortable. Between the pastor’s demeanor and the office itself, I was more relaxed than I thought possible.

  “Mary told me that you had questions about having your wedding here. I’m happy to answer them for you. It’d be an honor to perform the service for you and Leo, especially since I’ve done so for Eric and will soon for Benjamin.”

  I was speechless. This wasn’t at all like I pictured it. I figured there’d be pressure to sign up to be married here. Pastor Stein seemed really interested in what I wanted to talk about.

  “I don’t know if we should do it here.”

  That wasn’t the best way to start. My heart pounded in my chest and I gripped the chair arms, trying to calm down again. I’d screwed up already.

  “I mean Leo wants to,” I continued. “It’s his ideal place. It’s more about
me. I’m hesitant. I…”

  I managed to stop talking before I made it worse. I should’ve had Leo help me practice so I wouldn’t be stumbling so badly.

  “I’m sorry,” I finally said. Pastor Stein never stopped looking at me, but he came across as a friend who wanted to help. It reminded me of Simon and how he’s helped me over the years.

  “It’s okay. Take your time. Why don’t you think you should be married here? You’d certainly be welcome. You’ve been coming here for years now. It’s more than okay you’re not here every week.”

  Looking at his kind face, I wished my father were more like this. I shook that off. I wasn’t here to talk about Dad.

  “I don’t go to church a lot. Really, I only go when I’m with Leo. I am baptized, but my family never went when I was growing up.” The words suddenly flowed easily. “I consider myself a Christian, but I’m not sure that qualifies me to be married here in a place Leo takes seriously.”

  Pastor Stein looked thoughtful as he leaned back in his comfy looking, well-worn leather chair. “Matt, all are welcome here. What I said earlier still stands, I’d be honored to marry you and Leo. If you want, we could also work to bring you closer to the church and to your faith, but you don’t have to do that to have your wedding here.”

  I smiled, and his smile got bigger.

  “What?” he asked.

  “I was expecting a hard sell to get me converted.”

  He laughed, and I finally loosened my grip on the chair arms.

  “That’s not my style. Faith is a very personal thing, and I don’t want to force you to do something that feels wrong. There are a couple options available. You can get married in a civil ceremony and be blessed here or you can do everything here. The choice is really up to you and Leo.”

  “It would mean a lot to Leo to do it all here.”

  “And what about you?”

  “I want him to have what he wants.”

  After some silence, Pastor Stein spoke “But?”

  “I…I don’t know. I was serious when I said I wasn’t sure I was qualified to be married here. I’m nearly thirty and I really only pray when I need something to work out. I’m probably not one of God’s favorites in the flock.”

  “That’s not how it works,” he said, coming back up to his desk and folding his hands on top of it. “God is always there for you, when you need him. He doesn’t keep attendance. He doesn’t keep track of how often you pray or what you pray about. Does he have a plan for you? Yes. Can you stray from the path? Yes. But he’s always there, ready to help you find your way back and not judge you for straying. Please believe me when I tell you, lightning won’t strike you if you marry Leo here.”

  He said that last part with a glint in his eye and I snorted, trying to contain my laughter because that was too funny. My face heated as I tried to recover from the inappropriate response.

  “I would hope not,” I said, “since we’re not budgeting for damage from lightning strikes.”

  He laughed with me.

  “I don’t mean to make light of your concerns,” he said after taking a sip of coffee. “But I do want to ease the burden it seems you’re carrying. There’s nothing you can say that will change my mind about wanting to perform your ceremony. The only thing I’ll ask is that you’re doing it as much for yourself as for Leo.”

  “It won’t put him in a bad position with the church if we don’t do it here?”

  “Nothing would change.”

  My mind raced through the possibilities. This could work. Maybe I’d even go to church more often, which wouldn’t be a bad thing. Leo would love it, since there were so many Sundays we didn’t go because I didn’t want to.

  “May I ask what else is on your mind? It seems like there’s more going on than where to get married. Is there anything I can help with?”

  In addition to being helpful, the pastor was also very perceptive.

  “There’s a lot going on with my family and my job, or my former job, I should say. I don’t know if I should take up your time with that.”

  “I’m always happy to lend an ear,” Pastor Stein said.

  I couldn’t stop fidgeting. I hadn’t planned to talk about this. I wonder what he would say, walking out on my father’s firm like that. Was it a betrayal? But his perspective could be good to have. I decided to lay it all out, as succinctly as possible, what had gone on over the past few weeks.

  He didn’t interrupt. Even when I took time to collect my thoughts, he sensed I wasn’t done and gave me the space to talk.

  “It sounds like you’re making the right choices,” Pastor Stein said when I’d finally gotten everything out, right up to the conversation Dad and I had about the disinheritance. “You’re doing what you feel is right for your future. Jeremiah 29:11 says ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ What you do next could be His plan.”

  “What if the plan was to stay working with my father? He certainly tried to make it seem like that’s what I need to do.”

  “God often speaks through your heart. From what you’ve said, your heart has told you to make these changes, I don’t think you can deny that. I too often see people depressed, even sick, because they don’t follow their heart to their true calling. It’s possible you may be led back to your father’s business, or you may create something else amazing and beautiful yourself.”

  “You make all this sound so easy.”

  “Oh no,” he said. “Following your heart and God’s message doesn’t make it easy. You’ve got a lot of work to do as you take your next step. I think you know that. What’s freeing, though, is that you’re doing the work you’re called to do, and that can make even difficult work feel more rewarding.”

  I nodded. He made a lot of sense, and it honestly felt good to be validated by someone who had no stake in the outcome. I stole a glance at my watch and noticed I’d been here nearly an hour.

  “I’m sorry, Pastor Stein. I’ve taken up so much of your time.” I hastily stood up.

  He stood as well, just as calm now as during our meeting. If he had another appointment, he didn’t seem rushed.

  “Not at all, Matt. I’ve enjoyed our conversation. I hope it helped.”

  “It did, very much. It’s a lot to think about still, and to discuss with Leo. But I’ve got some clarity now, too.”

  “Good. If you need to talk more, just call and make an appointment. My door is always open to you and Leo.”

  I reached out to shake his hand. “Thank you so much.”

  He wrapped his hands around mine. It wasn’t a handshake, but I found the connection shockingly comforting.

  “Please give my best to Leo,” he said as he opened the door to the outer office.

  “I’ll do that.”

  That had been nothing like I expected. I could actually see having the wedding here with Pastor Stein. He gave me a lot to think about. Maybe this was exactly what needed to happen—what was supposed to happen.

  Chapter 15: Leo

  It wasn’t the same as watching the game together, but I could at least see Matty while the Penguins played the Flyers. Matty and Ben were together, using my passes to sit in the arena’s lower level. I was in the tunnel that led back to the locker room for most of the game, and from my vantage point I had a good view of the game and them.

  We had a long group text message going as we dissected the game, which was an excellent one, since Pittsburgh was trouncing their cross-state rivals. It was an easy game for me since no one got injured. I took care of a few players who needed help during the intermissions, but that was about it.

  Ben and Matty met me in the lounge area once I’d finished my post-game work.

  “So, dinner?” Matty asked as soon as I walked in the room.

  “You mean you didn’t fill up on rink food?” I asked, surprised.

  “Oh, I did, but I’m still hungry.”

  “I coul
d eat,” Ben said. “Unless you guys need to go out solo.”

  “Nah, join us.” I said.

  “Yeah, we don’t hang out enough as it is.” Matty said. “Unless you have to get back to Sam?”

  “She’s got her own thing going on. Going to some chick flick with her friends and then dinner, so I’m free.”

  “We really need to help him appreciate the chick flick,” Matty said.

  “I’m not sure we can. Eric and I have tried for years.”

  “I can at least sit through them, but I’m not going to go by choice,” Ben said, rolling his eyes.

  I stood and hustled the guys towards the door. I was hungry because I hadn’t eaten during the game.

  “Where should we go?” I asked.

  “There’s a huge food truck gathering a few blocks away. Want to check it out?” Matty asked.

  We liked checking out food trucks, especially ones that offered something different from burgers and hotdogs.

  “Works for me,” Ben said.

  It was getting dark, but we were still comfortable in the early evening weather. We didn’t walk far before the trucks came into view. It was a pretty large fleet and I guessed they were taking advantage of game day combined with the warmer than normal weather.

  “You guys in the mood for anything in particular?” I asked.

  “You know me,” Ben said, “I’ll eat pretty much anything.”

  That was an understatement. Growing up with Ben was like watching a vacuum cleaner work the dinner table.

  “I’ll know it when I see it,” Matty said.

  There were a dozen or so trucks parked, offering a wide array of food. Over the years I’d lived in Pittsburgh more and more food trucks came on the scene, which was great. Today we could pick from Italian, pierogis, and bar-b-cue, just to name a few. A couple trucks also served Mexican food and one billed itself as a mobile bistro, which I’d never seen before.

  We ended up standing in front of Mac Attack because we were drawn to anything that involved macaroni and cheese. It had a sizable menu, with six different cheeses and what must’ve been nearly two dozen toppings. A few of the combinations were named after Pittsburgh neighborhoods.