“Would you rather I moved in with him?” I glared at her.
“Do I really have to answer that?” She didn’t, I was already done with this conversation. “So I talked to Larry at the production office. You’re in.”
“What?” When I told her I quit managing Sinister Riot, she’d insisted I apply for a job on the movie she was working on. They’d been up north the last couple weeks, but they were finishing up filming in the city. It wasn’t a permanent position. Mallory worked hideously long hours, but when she told me how much money she made, it made totally going against my principles a little easier to swallow.
That and I never expected to actually get hired.
“You got the job. Someone had to leave for another show.” Mallory considered this way better news than I did. “You can start Monday.”
If all had gone according to plan, I’d be on my way home from Chicago on Monday. Not dragging my ass to some movie set at four in the morning. Besides Rocklahoma, I’d never missed a Sinister Riot show.
“I’m supposed to go to Chicago this weekend,” I protested, before I realized what I’d said.
“Are you going to visit Mom and Dad?” Mallory cocked her head in confusion. “You hate Chicago, and you just saw them. They’ll understand you got a job.” That was another reason I didn’t want to get involved with movies. Mallory dropped everything for work. The first couple of movies she worked on, I excused it because I was excited for her. After a while, it just hurt my feelings.
“The band is playing up there this weekend. Lollapalooza. The side stage, but still.” I braced myself for the inevitable shit storm that was on its way.
That didn’t clear anything up for her. “Abby, do you work for the band or not?” She held the curtain aside as I sat on my bed. “Because I thought you needed this job.”
“We’re waiting to hear back from the lawyer.” My words came fast, and I opened my laptop.
Mallory didn’t go away. “That’s not an answer.”
I considered trying to explain to her what the hell I was doing, but I wasn’t sure myself. I quit and I regretted it. Devon hung on to the fantasy he hadn’t been fired, and I was enabling him. Mallory wasn’t going to understand. Even I thought this was crazy. “No. I don’t.”
“Then you need to tell the band you’re not going.” Mallory sat on the end of the bed. “Play time is over. You’ve done enough for those guys.”
“It’s not play time. Lollapalooza is legendary, and Too Many Reasons is number one.” I’d lost her in band speak, she did it to me all the time with movie talk. God, I was going to be lost all day long if I took this job.
If. Like I had a choice. “The single.”
Her mouth dropped in surprise. “That’s amazing.”
“I know. Someone else put this trip together, and I’m freaking out that they didn’t do it right. The last show got fucked up, this one has to be perfect.”
“Abby, they’ve replaced you.” My heart sank. Hearing it out loud made it real. “You can’t keep worrying about people who aren’t worried about you. If no one else was capable of doing that job, they would have fought to get you back.”
Devon was fighting for me, but he was fighting for his own job as well. I came really close to telling Mallory that, but it wasn’t going help my cause. She was right. Painfully right. I’d been replaced. The guys wanted Devon, they needed him. But they didn’t need me.
As much as I needed them.
“What do I need to do?” I sighed, completely fucking defeated. “Do I just show up, or do I have to go to some sort of orientation first?”
Her face brightened, and I never wanted to kill her more than I did at that minute. “Just show up.” She hugged me before she went in her room. I was so shocked I didn’t hug her back. “It’s going to be fun, working together.”
“Come on, Abby, this isn’t even funny.” Denial wasn’t just a river in Egypt, it was my boyfriend trying to make sense of the announcement of my new job. “When did you apply?”
“When I told Mallory I quit the band, she put it into motion.” I’d really hoped that we would have just been able to celebrate tonight, go sit in the backyard and drink the bottle of champagne I’d bought on the way home. But Devon had come back much later than I expected, and I’d dozed off in bed, making a list of things I needed to do before every waking moment was accounted for the next month. This all felt familiar; the tension crept back in, like we were headed for a fight.
Devon rolled on to his back. “You don’t even want to work on movies.”
“I’ve got to do something. My student loans are going to start coming due.”
“So?”
“I owe fifty thousand dollars.”
Devon blinked and shook his head. “Holy shit. I had no idea.”
“I know that. The movie job will only last a couple months at most. Then I’ll be just as unemployed as I am now.”
“You’re going to be back with the band. Call the lawyer tomorrow. Put this whole nightmare to bed.” Devon stared at the ceiling and raked his hand through his hair.
“You don’t even know if you’re going to be back with the band.” I sat up, hugging my knees. He shook his head. “Devon, it’s true. We have to start thinking seriously about Plan B.”
“The single went to number one. Not only did I sing on it, I wrote those lyrics.” He propped himself up on his elbow. “There is no Plan B. I’ve put everything into this.”
“I did, too.” My eyes burned, but I wouldn’t cry. “But I’ve already been replaced.”
“So that’s it? You’re giving up on the music business?” Devon shook his head.
“No.” Was I? It was more like it had given up on me before I even had a chance. “Everything happens for a reason. Maybe I’ll like working on the movie.”
Devon scoffed.
I pushed him. “It could happen. I’m not going to go into this with a bad attitude.” Or at least I’d try like hell not to. I was already dreading the possibility of seeing people I’d gone to school with, the ones I’d accused of having no passion and of just jumping on the bandwagon. Now I was chasing after it desperately, because there was a paycheck attached.
It could be a lot worse. But still. I failed; okay, I quit, which might even be worse than failure. And everyone was going to know it. The band was going on without me. I had to hold my head up high and give everyone a bullshit explanation.
“What if that lawyer says I’m back in the band?” Devon traced the curve on my leg. “Are you still going to do the movie?”
One hot tear slid down my cheek. “Yeah.” I sniffled, trying to hold the rest in.
“You’re crying.” Devon knew that was always my absolute last resort. “I just hate the thought of you giving up.”
Someone else thinking that you’d given up was worse than the actual act. “I just need something that I can call my own. That’s totally mine.” I’d given the tears permission to fall at Devon’s words. “It might not be the movie, but it’s not Sinister Riot, either.”
“Yes it is.” He dropped his head down on the pillow and then picked it back up. He sat up, wiping my cheeks. “You made the band, Abby. How many times do I have to tell you? We’d be nothing without you.”
“Everything I did was because I wanted you to succeed, because I thought that meant I did, too.”
“It does.” He pulled me in tighter. “You’re not going to be happy unless you’re working with music, or else you would have never been so passionate about Sinister Riot. You didn’t do it for me. You did it for you.”
Neither of us were going to change the other one’s mind. We both saw something in each other that we didn’t see in ourselves. But we we’d also become blind to each other’s flaws. Having someone think you had something that no one else did was comforting, but dangerous, because when those flaws were pointed out, it hurt that much more.
I changed the subject. “How was practice?”
“Actually, pretty good.
” This didn’t surprise me, Devon had come home in a good mood.
Mallory was right. I already considered this his home.
“We started off doing that bullshit switching off singing thing, but Eli couldn’t hold his own on the older stuff, so I just sang it.”
“That’s great.” If that lawyer didn’t give Devon the answer he wanted, the mess was going to be ugly. I’d thought he’d start to see the possibility that this might not work out, but as the days passed he grew more hopeful. And now, with the band behind him, he’d convinced himself he’d be back. “So if the lawyer says that the label can write you out of the contract, what do you think is going to happen now?”
“Abby, they’d be stupid to do it. Eli doesn’t have the chops. If it’s about money, they’d be wasting it.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I’m right.” He kissed the top of my head. “Tomorrow, after you call the lawyer, we can celebrate. We’ll do each other’s hair, we’ll watch Rocky Horror, and we’ll celebrate.”
“I wanted to celebrate tonight.” I pouted.
“We will.” His face fell to mine, and he kissed the damp streak on each cheek. Once our lips met, I didn’t remember why I’d been crying. So what, I was going to have to go work on the movie. It was a good job, and I was lucky to have it. And Mallory was strangely excited to work with me. Maybe she thought I’d abandon Sinister Riot completely once I saw what she did. Talk about delusional. I was surrounded by it.
Our clothes disappeared, and we were wrapped only in the blankets and each other’s skin. “I’m hardly going to see you while you work on that movie,” Devon murmured against my neck. “I’m going to make you miss me.”
“I already do.” My breaths were already uneven. Devon’s lips had fallen to my breasts. If he’d been patient getting to this point, he knew he had all the time in the world now. He worked almost like an artist, not missing a detail and knowing that the smallest moves made the biggest impact.
When I couldn’t think straight anymore, Devon picked up my hand and kissed it. I wasn’t sure why he stopped, until he placed my fingers on his cock, and guided me up and down, moving my hand to places that made him gasp in pleasure. His hand was so much bigger than mine, both of us moving together slowly. Once I got the rhythm, he left me to my own devices, throwing his head back against the headboard, and purring in appreciation. Devon might be a good teacher, but I was a quick student. When his hips started to buck, I leaned over and took a condom out of my nightstand.
My hands shook as I tried to put it on. Why I don’t know, there was no part of Devon I hadn’t touched. Once everything was in place, he pulled me into this lap. I didn’t expect it, and I almost head butted him. It was incredibly awkward, but it felt great to laugh after something that had been so intimate. I couldn’t stop giggling. I bit my bottom lip to try to get myself together, and Devon brought his finger to my mouth. I sucked on it, and the giggles were back. He pulled it away fast and caught my lips in his before I had a chance to catch my breath. Devon guided my hips up and down, moaning as I rubbed against his stomach. He steadied me so he could slide up inside me, and I cried out.
He rested his damp forehead on my shoulder, his breath as ragged as mine. “There’s all kinds of fun things you don’t know about yet.” Just a quick kiss above the collarbone before he stretched back flat against the mattress.
I fell forward, steadying myself with my hands on his shoulders. I started moving back and forth. Devon closed his eyes, moving his lip ring back and forth with his teeth. I lost my rhythm when I put my fingers to his mouth, giving him something else to play with. When I couldn’t take any more, I claimed his mouth with mine, my hips stilling, my scream swallowed by his kiss.
He was still inside me, and I missed him already.
“Is this a horror movie?” I wrinkled my nose, a defense against the moldy stench that smacked us in the face when we walked in the abandoned school that couldn’t have been used for anything since Katrina.
“No, I told you six times already. The show is called The Associate. It’s an action adventure movie.” Mallory didn’t seem fazed by this place at all, which was even more frightening. Rust patches that looked too much like blood stains had blossomed on the walls, and there was still writing on the chalkboard in the room she’d led me to. “Have an open mind, Abby.”
“I’m trying. This is the scariest place I’ve ever seen.” I pulled the hoodie I’d stolen from Devon around me, brushing hard against my skin. I felt like things were crawling on me. “Is everyone working in here?”
Never did I think anyplace could be creepy enough for me to want my sister around.
She laughed. Apparently my question was ridiculous. “No, I’m locations. This is holding. See you at lunch.”
“Mal!” I hissed as she turned away from me. “What does that even mean?” But she was already gone. Holding? Locations? Nobody else was even here yet, and she was full of shit. This was definitely a horror movie, and I was the bimbo who’d been dumb enough to come into this place. The first day of school in hell.
I picked the sturdiest looking desk to sit on, but even that wobbled under my weight. To make sure this wasn’t just some ploy of Mallory to get rid of my unemployed ass once and for all, I decided to lean against the door and wait for anyone else to show up. I noticed signs, the most exciting one for catering. I needed coffee. So bad. I’d stayed up way too late sending Snapchats to Devon on his way home from Chicago. I’d been taking his requests, and it was way more fun than actual sleep. Except for now when I thought I might fall over and get eaten by zombies.
After a few minutes, people started to wheel racks of clothing to the next room, and other people showed up with equipment. “Hey, I know you.” A short guy with a handlebar mustache who had been in a few of my classes clasped my hand. “Abby, right? I’m Joe. You’re going to be working with me.”
“I’m so glad to see you.” I wanted to hug him. “My sister didn’t tell me anything that was going on before she left me here.”
“Mallory? I didn’t realize she was your sister.” He laughed like he actually liked her. “She told me not to cut you any slack. Is this your first movie?”
Of course she did. “Yeah.”
“We’ll have fun. But let me show you the most important part of any production. Catering.”
Joe would forever be my favorite person on this set because he showed me where to find coffee. Once Mallory and her crew brought us a long table and chairs that weren’t covered in rust, we settled in and started checking in background actors. Holding was the place they stayed until they were called to set.
“Most of them are cool. Some of them do this professionally, and you’ll see them from show to show,” Joe explained. “But some of them think they’re the star of the show.”
He was totally right. We giggled at the people who barged to the front of the line and hadn’t followed instructions. Some of them insisted they had bigger parts than they did. I think they could tell I was new, because when Joe took over they all calmed down and did as they were told.
“Is Trevor George here?” The first time I heard this question, I thought they meant in the room. I’d only had one cup of coffee so I was a little slow on the uptake, and I looked around, hoping he was. Then I realized they meant on set today.
“Yes, but maybe not in your scene.” Joe gave me his canned answer to use. “And you can’t take any pictures on set.”
Now I was actually kind of excited about this movie. Mallory didn’t tell me this show was that big. Trevor George was huge. Devon and I actually were a little more interested in his son, Tristan, who was in a band called Immortal Dilemma. They had a reality show--well, they pretended to be vampires--but we loved the glam feel of their music and shows.
“Good job.” Joe high fived me once the line cleared. “You’re a pro.”
“I don’t know about that.” I looked around the room. “Now what?”
“There’s thre
e more waves of background coming.” Joe ran his finger along the timeline on the schedule. “This is only the beginning, it’s going to be a long day.”
“Like, how long?”
“Fifteen, sixteen hours.” Oh my God, this was a horror movie after all. The world’s longest horror movie. He pulled out another piece of paper. “Have you ever seen a call sheet before?”
I shook my head.
“Mallory didn’t tell you anything. Okay. See this part in the middle? These are the scenes we’re shooting today. The numbers show you what characters are in the scene.” He pointed above to the cast list. “And it tells you if we’re shooting inside or outside, night or day, and what we need.”
I pulled the sheet closer to me. “Wow, this is really helpful.” I was actually having fun so far, even if we were only three hours in. It lessened the sting of missing the show this weekend. Doing my own thing felt good.
“Yeah. You need to be able to get information for yourself on the fly a lot of times, and this is where you find it.” This would have been important for my sister to share with me if she really wanted me to do well at this job. Joe pushed the call sheet to me. “Keep that with you. So first movie, huh? You never worked on any of the student films in school?”
I folded the call sheet and put it in the pocket of my shorts. “No.” which didn’t impress Joe at all. Clearly he didn’t think I’d paid my dues to be sitting next to him in this classroom with bleeding walls. “I’d planned on working in the music industry.”
“In New Orleans?” He frowned. “There is no music industry.”
“I was managing a band.” I slid my chair back so he could see my tank top. “Sinister Riot.”
“I love those guys! I’ve seen them a couple times, at bars.” Joe started drumming the beginning of She’s Like a Gun on his thighs. Now he was definitely my favorite. “Things are really starting to take off for them.”
“Yeah. They played Lollapalooza this weekend.”
“No shit. Good for them.” Joe cocked his head. “So why’d you leave?”
How did I sum that up to complete stranger? “Too many reasons to get in to.”
Too Many Reasons Page 15