Too Many Reasons

by Kristen Strassel

  I filmed the show on my phone. The quality wasn’t going to be the greatest, but it would be gritty, real, and perfect to tell the story of this show for anyone who couldn’t make it to The Oak Tree tonight.

  Devon had way too much energy to stay on the stool, and when he started Not Fade Away, he kicked the stool away, making the crowd go wild, and stayed on his feet for the rest of the set for Slade and T Rex.

  “You guys have been an amazing crowd tonight. Thanks for making me feel welcome.” I knew he was about to announce the last song. He pointed at me. “Do you see this beautiful girl, sitting in front? Say hi to my girlfriend, Abby.”

  “Stand up.” Nikki kicked my chair. I waved to the crowd, turning even redder from the catcalls. I didn’t have to acknowledge Lexi to feel her glare.

  “She’s got my mailing list. If you liked this show, sign that bitch and I’ll play more just like this one.” He smiled at the crowd’s laughter, then winked at me. “This is going to be my last song for the night—“

  “Too Many Reasons!” someone yelled from the crowd.

  “You like that one?” Devon asked.

  “Too Many Reasons! Too Many Reasons!” the crowd chanted.

  Devon glanced down at our table nervously. He hadn’t planned to play any Sinister Riot songs, but if he didn’t, there was going to be an actual riot. I turned back to Caleb, and he nodded.

  He strummed the opening notes of the song, and the chant dissolved to cheers. “I aim to please.”

  Once Devon reached the chorus, he stopped. But the crowd didn’t. “Too many reasons I believe, too many reasons I can’t see, too many things I want to say…” Devon’s face lit up with a mixture of shock, joy and relief. Devon stopped playing the guitar at the end of the chorus, and took a bow. “This is for you guys.” Then he finished, letting the crowd sing the last chorus for him.

  Any questions we’d had about Devon being able to hold his own without the band had been answered by that chant and the standing ovation that followed the song.

  A lot of people would say I was wasting my education. And by a lot of people, I meant Mallory and my parents. They’d quieted down since I started working on The Associate, but once the movie wrapped, I knew they’d be right back at it. Of course, I didn’t agree with them. Everything I’d done with Sinister Riot had been in the hopes of getting a job in the music business. That’s why I went to school to begin with. I probably didn’t need to be fifty grand in the hole to promote the hell out of Devon’s new venture, but I was going to be sure I got the most bang for my buck.

  “Is there any of that I can do for you?” Devon asked. I’d brought the laptop into bed with me.

  I’d reached out to every music blog in the city, and sent the video of Devon’s performance at The Oak Tree to every bar I knew booked live music. Booking Devon as a solo act was actually much easier than booking the band, but ironically, the association with the band made it easier to book him. “Did you do those interviews I sent you?”

  “Yeah. They should be in your email.” Devon pushed the screen of my laptop closed. “Abby, relax. You worked all day. You don’t have to do this right now.”

  “I know that.” I opened the screen back up. “I’m doing it because I want to.”

  Devon snuggled beside me and kissed my shoulder. “You have no idea how much I appreciate this. But I really want you to come to bed.”

  Some requests couldn’t be refused. “Let me just look at this one last thing.” I struggled to get the words out. Devon had picked up my hair and started kissing my neck. I had to lean in closer to make sure I read this right. His lips brushed against my skin and I was seeing double. “Look at this.”

  I pointed at the screen; Devon wasn’t easily deterred from his mission. I took his chin in my hand and kissed him, almost forgetting what I wanted him to look at. But my finger still pointed at my notifications page.

  American Original was sharing all my tweets about Devon’s shows.

  He squinted at the screen, just like I had. “Do you think they even read them?” He looked back at me, puzzled. “Or they just saw the band name and retweeted?”

  “It’s one hundred and forty characters. It’s kind of hard to miss your name in that.” I couldn’t believe that they were all that concerned with Devon’s welfare. “Have you talked to any of the guys?”

  “Just Caleb, and he’s on baby watch.” Nikki was ready to go any day. “He hasn’t said much, but I know he’s miserable.”

  “What do you mean?” Poor Caleb. Everyone thought he was weak because he was quiet. He was one of the most loyal, kind, and hardworking people I’d ever met. The label had wanted him out to begin with. I hoped that Frankie and Mo fought for him the same way I would have. Of course, before this deal, there was nothing to fight for. We’d all been equal.

  Now we were all separate, and it didn’t make any of us better. Devon was skating by on his reputation with the band. We’d been careful about how we worded things. We weren’t lying, but we weren’t being completely forthcoming, either. It was only a matter of time before people realized that Devon Sinclair and Sinister Riot were separate entities and lost interest in him playing other people’s songs.

  There was only so many times I could ask him about writing new material. I knew it wasn’t a nine to five job. And Devon wanted this as much as I did.

  “Every time I ask Caleb what’s going on, he’s flat about it. It could be the baby, or that he’s getting lost in the shuffle.” Devon’s eyes locked with mine, and I felt the laptop close over my fingertips one more time. I handed it to him to put on the nightstand. “Don’t worry about the band right now. Or me.”

  I nodded and let him slip down the strap of my tank top, his lips falling to my tattoos. I lay back on the pillows, sighing at the little circles he drew on my skin with his tongue, dipping lower to my breasts.

  Devon startled me by kissing my lips. “You’re falling asleep on me.”

  “I’m sorry.” Just the feel of his skin on mine relaxed me.

  “Don’t be.” Another quick kiss, then he rolled on to his back, bringing me with him. I nestled against his chest. “We have the rest of our lives to do this.”

  “I can’t believe I’m going to miss your show for this stupid movie.” This had never happened before. Not the talent contests in high school, not the first shows he played out when the band had to sneak me in the back door because I was underage. Even before Sinister Riot. I’d been at them all. I hated missing practice. But tonight, Devon had a show at The Apple Barrel, and I was going to be checking in background actors for an overnight in the bayou for The Associate.

  “It’s fine,” Devon insisted, but I knew he was bummed. “Just as long as you bring me as your date when the movie premieres. I want to walk the red carpet with you.”

  “They’re not going to let production assistants walk the red carpet, silly.” All these hours meant pretty sweet paychecks. I couldn’t stand Devon’s sad, bare room any more at Caleb’s place. Last week, Nikki had her baby, Gabriella, and it seemed even emptier because everyone was so focused on her. I bought him new bedding and curtains. He wouldn’t let me decorate too much, because he didn’t know if we really needed two bed sets. Even though I heard Mallory screaming in the back of my head, I agreed with him. No matter which house we settled in for the night, with the exception of Chicago, we hadn’t spent a night apart since our first kiss. My compromise was to pick something we could still use if we decided to get rid of one of our places. I don’t care how much he protested about all the purple fluffy stuff, he liked it.

  My afternoon was rapidly disappearing, but I was spending every dwindling moment I had snuggled under the new comforter watching movies with Devon next to me. “Half the time they don’t even let me go to set.”

  “Well that’s stupid.” Devon went over notes for the set list. “Why even bother with this movie if they’re not going to give you the credit you deserve?”

  “And making me work during
your shows.” I peeked over Devon’s shoulder at the notebook, and pouted. “You’re adding All Day and All Of the Night tonight?”

  “Yeah.” He smiled apologetically. It was no secret how much I loved The Kinks. “I’ll be working out the kinks tonight.”

  “Please don’t say that on stage.” I groaned and Devon bowed over his notebook. “I hate this.”

  “I’m totally boycotting that fucking red carpet.”

  “You should play a show during the premiere.” Like anyone would notice my boycott. “And I will not miss it.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” Devon leaned forward and kissed me. “But you need to go to work.”

  I sighed. “I know.” I knew when I started this job, I was going to have to miss things that mattered to me. But I didn’t expect it to bother me so much. No wonder my sister was such a bitter wench. “Is there anything else I can do before I go? I can keep tweeting and stuff during down time.”

  “Go to work.” Devon pointed toward the door. “I’ll miss you, but everything’s going to be fine.”

  I picked up my purse, but couldn’t quite bring myself to go. “Nikki says I’m a helicopter mama.”

  “You’re passionate and detail oriented.” He smirked. “And you’re going to get fired if you don’t leave soon.”

  “Are Fridays always overnights?” I grumbled to Joe once we settled in with our coffee.

  “That’s why we call it Fraturday.” He laughed, but then saw I wasn’t amused. “Is this cutting into your rock star social life?”

  “Yes.” I stuck my bottom lip out and tried to make a joke out of it.

  “That’s the sucky part of this business, you miss a lot of shit while you’re making movies.” Joe picked up the call sheet and studied it. “It looks like there’s only background in the first scene.”

  Now he had my attention. I snatched the paper away from him. “Really?” I was still terrible at reading these things.

  “Yeah, see? It just says BG in the first scene.” He pointed me in the right direction, his body a little too close to mine. “I might be able to wrap you early.”

  “That would be so amazing.” But I knew better than to get my hopes up. Besides the fact this scene had one hundred and thirty background actors, which would take forever to check in and out, there was no telling how long one scene would actually take. We were filming a page of the screenplay. It could be all dialogue, all action, or a combination of both.

  “You owe me big, Abby.” His smile was a little too big as the first wave of actors began to approach our table.

  “I’ll get your next coffee,” I mumbled, the heat rising in my cheeks, and concentrated on the crowd. I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. We’d spent the better part of the last three weeks together, I was sure I’d mentioned Devon at least a hundred times. Any time this had happened in the past, I would get flustered because I wasn’t exactly sure what the guy wanted. Now, I had a pretty good idea, and it was just as unsettling.

  The Associate was set in present day, which Joe told me made our lives much easier. It didn’t take as long to get the background actors ready. They could come in mostly ready, and wardrobe, hair, and makeup could just tweak them as needed. Still, there was always at least one person who didn’t follow instructions. “You got the email, correct?” Joe would ask every time, cutting no slack, and the person would eagerly nod. “Every single email said the same thing. If they don’t have time to get you ready, we can’t bring you to set.”

  There was always time to get them ready, but Joe was a hard ass with the actors. Tonight, so was I. A couple of them had been in a few times now, and they made a point of saying hi to me. Not everyone was very nice to the extras, so I think they were happy to see a new, friendly face. But tonight, I was on a mission, and I was all business.

  Once we brought them to set, I’d mentally checked out for the rest of the night. I kept checking my phone, considering telling Devon that I might make the show after all, but then I didn’t want to disappoint him, or me, if I didn’t. So it would be a surprise.

  They turned around the scene, to get it from all angles. Then they needed close-ups. It was already ten, and we weren’t even in the city. “Check the gate,” the director called. Every time he said that, it meant this scene might be done. Or at least we were making progress. I held my breath as all the big wigs gathered around the video screens, watching the playback. I looked at my phone, one more time, and walked right into Trevor George.

  “I’m so sorry.” Way to go, Abby. Mow down the star of the show. Trevor smiled at me and nodded. I might have swooned.

  “They’re moving on.” I jumped when Joe came up behind me. I’d been so dumbstruck by Trevor George I wasn’t paying attention.

  “They did? Like shooting another angle or done?”

  “Everyone’s headed back to holding.” Joe started walking. “What time does your boyfriend go on?”

  “I’m not sure. I was going to surprise him.”

  “You’re welcome to stay here with me, and get high on bug spray fumes, or you can go see a show, and drink, and probably do all sorts of other fun things.”

  “What about checking everyone out?” I didn’t want to get in trouble for leaving before I should have. This already felt wrong, but if I was being wrapped, I wasn’t going to argue. Mallory had brought her own car, she’d been all excited about making plans with her ‘set crush,’ who I was pretty sure was wearing a wedding ring, and she planned to stay at the crew hotel tonight. Gross.

  “I can handle it,” he insisted. “Go have fun, Abby.”

  I hugged Joe without thinking, and pulled away quickly. “You’re the best.”

  Traffic going back into the city was ridiculous at this time on a Friday night. I wasn’t usually a road-ragey driver, but tonight, I yelled at everyone who stopped in front of me, trying every short cut I could think of to get to the bar faster.

  Devon was still taking what he could get as far as shows went, and they weren’t all the greatest time slots. He might have already played. Once I finally found a place to park near The Apple Barrel, the line was wrapped around the building. The place was tiny to begin with, and I knew at some point they stopped letting people in, because the fire department insisted. Someone was on stage, but it didn’t sound like Devon. I heard horns, and all he had was a guitar.

  I’d texted him, but he hadn’t answered. Too many things went through my brain; I’d missed the show, he’d been intercepted by Lexi. I tried to put my mind to rest, knowing it was loud and he was busy. The frat boys in front of me in line eyed me as I craned my neck to see if there was any movement. No such luck. Still in my ponytail and no makeup work look, I didn’t feel like I was ready for a show. I stared at my phone, willing Devon to answer and praying the frat boys wouldn’t talk to me. They were drinking while we stood there and I just didn’t want to deal with the weekend warriors.

  “Abby.” I jumped, not expecting to hear my name. Once I saw Eli and Andrew, I jumped again.

  Fuck. “What are you doing here?”

  “Same thing you are, I assume.” Andrew smiled at me, but I didn’t return it. “We heard about the show on Twitter, and we came to see Devon.”

  “What are you doing?” I asked again, because Andrew knew damn well he hadn’t answered my question the first time. “Devon’s not doing anything wrong.”

  “He shouldn’t be using that account. He’s misleading Sinister Riot fans.” Andrew’s smile faded.

  “I’m using the account. It belongs to me, I set it up, and I manage it.”

  “You quit.” Eli didn’t sound as coolheaded as Andrew. Seeing him here, there was a weird electricity surrounding this conversation that made me dizzy.

  “I still work for Devon.” My heart pounded in my chest.

  “If that’s what you want to call it,” Eli muttered.

  “Nothing was misleading.” I ignored his remark. “I was careful about what I said because I knew this would happen.” I crossed
my arms and glared at Andrew. “You could have just called me. You didn’t need to be so dramatic.”

  He laughed. If I wasn’t furious before, I was now. “One of our associates had to cancel tonight. We have an extra seat at our reserved table if you’d care to join us.”

  Was he kidding? “No thank you.”

  “This place gets pretty full, if I remember correctly.” Eli’s eyes slid down my body, and I knew he was thinking about the same thing I was; the last time we came here, our first date. Our bodies crushed together dancing. Shit. His skin against mine in that hotel room. His lips…I could practically still feel him against me. “Why are you standing in line?”

  “Because I came from work, and it was supposed to be a surprise.” I sighed and shook my head. The line hadn’t moved in ten minutes. Uncle. “Fine, I’ll come sit with you.” I stepped out of line and followed the guys to the door. If nothing else, I could make sure they didn’t have any more surprises for me or Devon tonight if I was at the same table as them.

  The place was packed. If I hadn’t agreed to sit at the table with Eli and Andrew, I would have never got in. But it didn’t make it feel any less dirty. I texted Devon again as soon as I sat down, because he needed to know the guys were here, even if I hadn’t figured out why yet.

  “Maker’s Mark and coke, right?” Eli leaned in close, the only way I was ever going to hear him. “The label is picking up the tab tonight.”

  I nodded. After the waitress took our order, Eli went back to talking to Andrew. Even though it was a little awkward to be left out of the conversation, it was a relief not to have to talk to them. Anything I said could and would be used against me.