Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza : Delivery of Doom (9781250008459)

by Yaccarino, Dan

  “Get some sleep, Mom,” said Luno.

  They hugged and her door hissed shut.

  * * *

  Luno now looked around the meeting room. Even though it was in shambles, it was the history of Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza. His history, and like Geo said, one day it would be his turn to look after the pizzeria and carry on Solaro’s good work.

  Then it hit him.

  Today was that day.

  Then something else hit him. It was a piece of the ceiling, so he decided to get out of there before the rest of it came down on his head. As Luno walked to the greenhouse, he thought about how every year, he and his family—aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents—all gathered to celebrate Solaro’s birthday. It was his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather’s one request, other than that it had to be celebrated right there in the greenhouse. Maybe he wanted to make sure his family got together at least once a year.

  Luno’s best memories were those parties. The one he remembered most was the year there was a thunderstorm. Little Luno watched the dark clouds roll in and the lightning flash through the greenhouse ceiling. Rain pelted the glass and thunder shook it, but he knew nothing would ever touch him and nothing bad would ever happen because he was surrounded by his family and they were safe inside Solaro’s greenhouse.

  Now Luno looked up at that glass roof hanging over his head and noticed a small crack. He thought about how fragile it really was and how little it would take for it to shatter and the bad things in the galaxy to pour in and …

  Rap-rap-rap.

  Luno turned to see Chooch anxiously tapping on the window and Clive standing next to him tapping away at his device, so he got up and went outside.

  “How are you gonna get Dad back, Luno?” Chooch asked anxiously.

  “Taking into account Quantum’s estimated weaponry, manpower, and sheer magnitude of operation, I have calculated the probability of you defeating Vlactron,” said Clive.

  “So what is it?” asked Luno.

  “The odds against it are so staggeringly high,” said Clive, “it would take me approximately four days to recite the number.”

  “That’s just great,” said Luno.

  “I was under the impression you would be disappointed, Mr. Zorgoochi,” said Clive.

  “I am, you clueless bulb of garlic!” Luno sighed and rolled his eyes. “I was being sarcastic!”

  “Please explain—”

  “Not a good time, Clive,” groaned Luno. “I still have to figure out if I should give the Golden Anchovy to Vlactron or not, that is if I can actually find it.”

  “But you said that Dad told you to never hand it over!” said Chooch.

  Luno flopped to the ground.

  “I don’t know what to do!” he moaned. “I—”

  “You already know vhat to do.”

  Luno looked up. It was Roog.

  “Now do it. At least dat’s vhat fazzer vould say,” he said, helping Luno to his feet with his metal claw. “I tink he vould vant you to hand over Anchowy.”

  Even though it was against his father’s wishes, Luno decided Roog was right. Geo may have told him not to hand it over, but it was probably because he didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Now all Luno had to do was find something that his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather hid over 200 years ago that no one, including the most powerful alien in the galaxy, could get his claws on. Luno didn’t bother asking Clive what the odds were of him locating it. He didn’t want to know.

  “Tink of vhere it could be,” said Roog, tapping Luno’s head sharply with his metal claw. “Tink! Tink!”

  As Luno tinked until his brain hurt, a question suddenly popped into his head.

  “How did Vlactron know about the secret meeting?” Luno wondered.

  “Vhat ees dun, ees dun.” Roog waved the question away. “You haff more impordant tings to tink about.”

  Then Roog told Luno that he worked him harder than any of his other ancestors because he was special. He knew he would find the Golden Anchovy in order to save his father.

  Luno wished he were as sure as Roog.

  “Leave boy alone,” Roog said, holding Clive and Chooch back as Luno wandered away into the garden, lost in thought.

  “I wouldn’t know where it was even if it was right under my nose,” Luno sighed, sitting under an olive tree. He puzzled over what Solaro said to Vlactron as he tapped the side of his nose. Only a Zorgoochi will be able to find it!

  What did that mean?

  A soft breeze drifted through the garden and Luno inhaled deeply. It was as if his nose had pulled him to his feet and made him follow the aroma of Erba Zorgoochus, leading him down the complex pattern he himself planted years ago. He ambled along footpaths, under canopies of herbs, and over small wooden koi-pond bridges.

  The trail came to an end at a little pool of water at the edge of the garden, one he had never taken much notice of before.

  Luno sat cross-legged on the rough wooden bench no doubt made by Solaro, and stared into the water, watching the orange, copper, and red fish serenely swim about. They didn’t worry about the future or even the past. They didn’t know anything but right now.

  Lucky.

  He grew angry at the fish, but then was embarrassed for being angry at a bunch of fish.

  Luno couldn’t understand why he was just sitting there and not out looking for the Golden Anchovy or, at least, trying to figure out where it was. Geo and the rest of the Pyramid were Vlactron’s slaves; it was only a matter of time until real pizza was obliterated from existence, and after 200 years, his family’s pizzeria would be closed forever. And it would be all his fault.

  Yet all he could do was watch the stupid fish.

  Luno’s eyes rolled upward and fluttered closed, as he still sat cross-legged on the bench, but he didn’t fall asleep.

  He felt like a cheese curd, blissfully bobbing in water. The universe was collapsing all around him and Luno wasn’t afraid anymore. He was separating from the whey and floating upward.

  Splish! Splash!

  Luno opened his eyes. He had no idea how long he’d been sitting there. Were the suns rising or setting?

  Splish! Splash!

  Luno peered into the pond as if waiting for something to happen.

  And after a few moments, it did.

  A fish, smaller than the rest, timidly peeked out from the shadow under the bridge. It cautiously swam toward Luno. He crouched down and saw it was glowing.

  Even though he’d never seen the Golden Anchovy before, Luno had pictured it in his mind so clearly for so long; he felt less like he was seeing it for the first time and more like he was seeing it again after many years.

  Sitting there, Luno didn’t feel like he had just done what dozens of others for almost 200 years hadn’t, because he didn’t feel like he had really done anything at all. In order to find the Golden Anchovy, Luno always thought he’d have to fight bloodthirsty aliens, solve complex riddles, or travel to the far reaches of the galaxy. But he hadn’t.

  Roog always told Luno that he had Solaro’s keen sense of smell. Maybe Solaro used Erba Zorgoochus to lead to the Golden Anchovy’s hiding place knowing that one day he’d have a descendant who would inherit his super-sensitive nose. Maybe that’s why he tapped the side of his nose when he told Vlactron 200 years ago that only a Zorgoochi would be able to find it. And maybe the garden, the greenhouse, and even the pizzeria are all an elaborate hiding place for the Golden Anchovy. Luno couldn’t decide if his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather was a total genius or a total lunatic.

  Luno had waited for this moment for such a long time and now it was here. Even when his father said the stories about the Golden Anchovy were just that, stories, a tiny piece of Luno never stopped believing they were real no matter how hard he tried.

  Luno stepped into the pond and the tiny fish excitedly wriggled around his boots, as if asking to be picked up.

  “I told you, you zilly robot”—Luno could hear Roog shouting i
n the distance—“leave boy alone!”

  “Luno!” Chooch shouted, as he pushed his way through the bushes, followed by Roog and Clive. “There you are!”

  Luno placed his finger to his lips to shush them and silently waved them over. He pointed down and was about to scoop up the Golden Anchovy, but remembered his allergies. As Chooch bent over to get a closer look, Luno popped Chooch’s helmet off and placed it in the water. The Golden Anchovy swam right into it and Luno held it up high for everyone to see. The little fish circled the water, happily emitting a golden glow.

  “You found it,” Roog said, placing a claw on Luno’s shoulder. “Right vhere Solaro left for Zorgoochi to find zum day. Hokay, lezz go.”

  “It is my understanding that if you touch the Golden Anchovy, you not only experience a vision of your heart’s true desire, so to speak, but then are guided and protected by its power in order to achieve said desire,” Clive said, as they made their way to the greenhouse.

  Luno nodded.

  “Well, then,” said Clive, “is there some intelligent way for you to utilize its power in order to defeat Vlactron?”

  “Hey yeah!” Chooch shouted, reaching for the Golden Anchovy. “You should hold it, Luno! Then—”

  “No!” grunted Roog, slapping down Chooch’s big metal hand. “Luno must give Anchovy to Wlactron to get fazzer back. Bezides, boy has zeefood allergy and if he touch, he die!”

  “Yeah, but he could get an allergy shot right after he—” said Chooch, then suddenly powered off and stood there frozen.

  “Oh, look at dat,” said Roog, patting Chooch’s back. “Zilly robot broken.”

  This never happened before and Luno was worried. Even though he was a giant pest, Luno wanted to fix Chooch right then and there, but Roog reminded him that they had to get the Golden Anchovy to Vlactron as soon as possible to save Geo.

  “I believe I can repair Chooch,” offered Clive. “He appears to be a standard commercial pizza oven model 32NWO with slight modifications.”

  “Zee?” said Roog, as he pushed Luno along. “Wegetable vill fix robot. Lezz go.”

  * * *

  Roog pulled open the glass door and Luno walked into the greenhouse, sloshing the water and the Golden Anchovy around. They walked up to a table covered with dozens of empty tomato sauce jars, and Roog unscrewed a small one, then set it back down. He reached for the helmet but, for a microsecond, Luno hesitated.

  “You no trust me, Luno?” Roog asked.

  Luno handed it to him and apologized.

  “Ees hokay,” Roog said, pouring the water and the Golden Anchovy into the jar. “I dunt blame you. Eet ees most powerful ting in universe. I promise to be careful.”

  As Luno watched the little glowing fish swim around the jar, he realized that finding the Anchovy was easy compared to their next challenge: how to get around Mom.

  They both knew about the iron will of Constellina Marie Zorgoochi firsthand and that she would never ever let her Luno set foot on the Quantum mother ship and hand the Golden Anchovy over to Vlactron, even to get Geo back.

  Before Luno asked Roog if he could do it, Vlactron’s words rang in his ears: If you ever want to see your father again, you, Illuminato Zorgoochi, and only you, must personally bring me the Golden Anchovy!

  Clive and Chooch entered the greenhouse.

  “After a thorough diagnostic scan,” said Clive, “I found nothing wrong with Chooch’s system other than it was simply powered off.”

  “I must’ve bumped into a tree branch and it hit my power switch,” Chooch said sheepishly. “I’m so clumsy!”

  As he consolingly patted the robot on the back, Luno got an idea. He immediately got his toolbox and rushed to his room.

  * * *

  Luno emerged an hour later.

  “Vee go now?” Roog anxiously asked Luno.

  “Not yet,” said Luno, handing Clive and Chooch a supply list. “There’s no way my mom is going to let me go to the Quantum mother ship and hand over the Golden Anchovy to Vlactron.”

  “But Wlactron zaid it muzt be you who deliver it,” said Roog. “You muzt go!”

  “I will go,” said Luno. “And stay home, too.”

  “The laws of physics do not allow for this to occur, Mr. Zorgoochi,” said Clive.

  “Yeah,” said Chooch, “how can you be in two places at the same time?”

  “Just go to the junkyard and get me everything on this list,” said Luno as he handed them a piece of paper, “and I’ll show you.”

  Clive, Chooch, and Roog spent the next few hours gathering scraps of metal, plastic, and titanium, and harvesting circuit boards, micro motors, and subatomic engines.

  * * *

  “Here,” Roog said, wheeling a full wheelbarrow into Luno’s room, which was now strewn with diagrams, lengths of tubing, and tiny gears. “Make it znappy! Vee haff to go zoon!”

  For the next few hours, Roog nervously paced in front of Luno’s bedroom door, listening to him welding, hammering, and screwing the pieces together.

  Finally, the door hissed open and Luno peeked his head out. He looked tired, but happy.

  “C’mon in,” he said, as Clive, Chooch, and Roog walked past him.

  “Sigh,” said the tall, awkwardly assembled robot wearing Luno’s old space suit.

  The Luno Bot moped around Luno’s room, kicked some dirty laundry, and then climbed into bed.

  “Watch this,” Luno said.

  “Are you okay, sweetheart?” Luno asked, trying to sound like his mother.

  “I’m fine, Mom,” Luno Bot droned.

  “Do you want something to eat?” Luno asked.

  “Um, no thank you. I just want to sleep.” Luno Bot sighed. “I love you.”

  “I’ll just put him in my bed,” Luno said, patting his new creation. “And we’ll be back before she even knows I was gone!”

  Luno proudly looked to them for approval.

  Clive had an alphabetical list of notes, suggestions, and improvements; Chooch asked if Luno Bot was his new brother; and Roog said it was goot enough, zo lezz go!

  * * *

  “Sure, Roog, go ahead,” Connie sighed after Roog asked if he could take the delivery pod to stock up in case some customers showed up at lunchtime. Business had dropped off considerably ever since Vlactron kidnapped the Pizza Pyramid members. Since then, Connie Zorgoochi had been trying to come up with a plan to rescue her husband and keep the pizzeria going at the same time. There weren’t many orders, so she didn’t ask Luno to help her, assuming he was still recovering from his allergy attack and everything else that had happened.

  “Tanks, Mrs. Z,” grunted Roog, grabbing the keys. “You take care of yourself and dunt vorry about boy, heel be hokay. Just leave alone for now.”

  Roog climbed into the delivery pod, switched the engine on, and took off.

  “Did you tell her not to bother me?” Luno asked, crawling out from underneath the control panel. “And let me sleep?”

  Roog grunted.

  Clive and Chooch climbed out of the onboard freezer.

  “It’s about time!” said Chooch, shivering. “I was starting to get a brain freeze in there!”

  Luno took the pilot’s seat.

  The delivery pod burst through Industro12’s atmosphere, then entered the vast expanse of space. It was headed toward the Quantum mother ship, which was currently in the center of the Baccala Nebula.

  The Golden Anchovy swam about in the little jar, its golden glow illuminating the dashboard where it sat. Luno watched it, transfixed, thinking about how it had helped Solaro bring peace, love, and pizza throughout the galaxy so many years ago. Luno still couldn’t quite wrap his head around the fact that not only was it real, he was the one who found it.

  But now he had to hand it over and not to just anyone, but to the most evil, vicious alien in the galaxy, who used to give him nightmares when he was growing up and was his family’s pizza rival to boot!

  But it would be worth it. He would save his father and b
ring him back home. Luno couldn’t wait to see his face when he showed up.

  But then what? Luno hadn’t really thought about what would happen after he gave the most evil alien the most powerful pizza topping in the universe. Maybe his dad was right. Maybe he shouldn’t hand over the Golden Anchovy. But, no, he had to save his father. He’d figure the rest out later.

  “I-I couldn’t have done it without you.” Luno turned to Roog as he piloted the delivery pod. “Thanks and my family thanks you, too.”

  Luno’s face suddenly became flushed and he looked awkwardly down at the instrument panel. It just sort of came out. Even though he wished he could take it back, Luno still meant every word. Roog truly was part of his family.

  “You’re velcome, boy,” Roog grunted.

  “I may drop it or something,” said Luno, handing the jar to Roog. “You take it.”

  “Quantum ships at 3:45!” Chooch shouted.

  Luno was startled and almost dropped the jar, but Roog deftly snatched it before it was smashed to pieces.

  “Hokay,” Roog said, clutching the jar. “I hold for now.”

  Sure enough, Quantum ships were heading right toward them, dead ahead at twelve o’clock. Luno promised himself he would thoroughly explain the concept of time location to Chooch if they ever got out of this alive.

  There were more ships than ever before and Luno truly had no idea how he was going to survive this one. Just when they were so close to delivering the Golden Anchovy and saving his father, Quantum was finally going to destroy them.

  As the Quantum delivery ships surrounded the Zorgoochi delivery pod, Luno noticed something odd.

  They weren’t firing at him.

  “Why aren’t they attacking us?” Chooch asked, peeking out from under the control panel.

  “Because I think they’re escorting us,” said Luno.

  PART 3

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  In the Belly of the Quantum Mother Ship

  Like a microscopic speck of flotsam drifting into an enormous space whale’s mouth, the tiny Zorgoochi delivery pod flew into the yawning doors of the receiving bay of the colossal Quantum mother ship.