Peaches and Scream

by Chelsea Thomas

  I sipped my coffee. “That’s right. Like Wayne said, that key ring had a key to the house, not just the keys to the bakeshop.”

  “So Wayne thinks this killer is going to come back, unlock the door to the farmhouse and kill the both of you girls for no apparent reason?” KP sipped his coffee.

  “He doesn’t think it’s safe,” said Miss May. “And I agree.” Miss May put her hand on my arm. “I think we should go stay at Teeny’s while we investigate this murder. No need to put ourselves in more danger than we already do in our detective work.”

  KP laughed. “You two are something. May, do you really think this killer stole Chelsea’s keys? The girl loses her keys three times a day. Loses her phone every twenty minutes. One day last week I saw her on the farm only wearing one shoe. Lost the left one.”

  “That last part is true. I really don’t know what happened to that shoe.” I picked at the chip on my coffee mug. “I see your point. I can be forgetful. But I almost always find things!”

  KP threw up his hands. “I’m not judging you for it. Most brilliant people are erratic, and you’re the smartest girl I know. I’m just saying, keep that in mind. Don’t go run and hide when the keys are probably under your bed somewhere.”

  I bit my lower lip. “You have a point. Although I looked everywhere I thought they might be.”

  “And we’ll keep looking,” said Miss May. “As time allows. We need to move forward with this investigation and I don’t think looking for Chelsea’s keys is the best way to do so. If the killer has the keys, finding the killer will lead us to the keys. If the keys are lost in the house, they’ll turn up sooner or later once we’re moved back in.”

  I nodded. “That makes sense. But… What if the killer stole my keys and planned to use them to frame me for this murder? I mean… Beth already accused me of trying to kill her in a public place. Might be the beginning of a strong case against me.”

  “I thought of that. That’s exactly why we need to get started on this case. Now.”

  I turned to KP. “Are you going to come stay at Teeny’s with us?”

  KP waved me away. “I’ll be in my cabin. Like a guard dog. Not like Steve, he’s a terrible guard dog. Too friendly. That’s another reason for me to stick around, somebody’s gotta feed Steve. And that tiny little pony See-Saw. And that new cat you two dragged home.” KP had a point. The farm did require upkeep, but still, I didn’t want him to risk his life.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to come, KP?” Miss May asked. “It may not be safe here.”

  “Like I said. I’m a guard dog. I’ll hold down the fort. You girls stay safe and find this killer.”

  8

  Teeny Town

  Teeny lived in a cute two-bedroom craftsman just outside the center of town. Her house was a soft shade of lavender. It had bright white, Victorian-style trim and a big porch with three enormous rocking chairs. Teeny was sitting in the middle rocking chair when we pulled into the driveway. But she jumped up to meet us before we could get halfway to the porch. “Finally. I’ve been waiting all morning.”

  Teeny tried to pull the suitcase from Miss May’s hands. “Give me that. You’re a guest in my flat.”

  “This isn’t a flat,” I said.

  “‘Flat’ is what they call a house in Britain,” Teeny snipped.

  “Nope,” I muttered under my breath, but Teeny was too distracted trying to steal Miss May’s bag to noticed my rebuttal.

  “You’re not carrying bags into the house,” insisted Teeny.

  Miss May yanked the bag back. “It’s heavy, Teeny. Probably weighs twice what you do.”

  “So what? I’m strong. You don’t think I’m strong? Don’t call me tiny.” I laughed. Teeny spun on me. “Don’t you laugh at me. I could bench press you like it’s nothing.”

  Miss May shrugged. “OK. You can take my bag.”

  Miss May let go. Teeny immediately drooped under the weight of the luggage. She took two small steps, then dropped the bag. “What do you have in this thing? Bricks? Frying pans?! I have frying pans, May. They’re perfectly good.”

  “You want me to carry it?” I offered.

  “No,” said Teeny. She began dragging the luggage toward the front door. Teeny sighed and wiped her brow as she led us into the foyer of her adorable home. The place was perfectly decorated and immaculately clean. It always had been spotless and I had a feeling it always would be. There was an overstuffed couch facing the fireplace. There were a couple of comfy armchairs. And there was old-fashioned art depicting Pine Grove from long ago on the walls. Teeny’s house had always been one of my favorites in town and I was excited to stay there.

  Teeny turned to us with her trademark wide smile. “Come on. I’ll give you a tour.”

  Miss May hung her head. “Teeny. We’ve been here hundreds of times.”

  “So what? I got some new stuff. I want to show you. And I did up your room and everything.”

  Both Miss May and I knew there was no point putting up a fight so we joined Teeny on the tour. She showed us a nice painting of a pine tree that she had bought from a local artist the prior week. She showed us where she had stocked all her favorite foods in the kitchen. She showed us where all the extra toilet paper was, that was actually helpful. And she took us to our room. It was bright pink with two double beds and a fresh bottle of water on the nightstand.

  “What do you think?” Teeny asked.

  “I think it’s very nice,” said Miss May.

  Teeny shook her head. “I don’t care what you think. I want to know what Chelsea thinks. She’s the interior designer.”

  “This is beautiful, Teeny. I’ve always loved your house. Thank you for having us.”

  “Are you kidding? This is a dream come true for me. I’ve always thought the three of us should be roommates. Like a version of The Golden Girls where they’re all young.”

  Miss May laughed. “This really is nice, Teeny. Thank you.” “

  “Stop thanking me. Start solving this mystery.” Teeny walked out of the bedroom and led us into the kitchen, where fresh baked cookies were on a big plate. “Sit. Talk.”

  We all grabbed a cookie and sat around the table.

  “Let’s start with suspects,” said Teeny. “Who could have done this?”

  “According to Beth, everyone wanted her dead,” I said. “So a list of suspects might be kind of long.”

  “I don’t think we should start with the suspects,” said Miss May. “I think we should start with trying to understand more about Beth.”

  Teeny pointed at Miss May. “Smart. Very smart. I love that. Now take a bite of cookie. I want to know what you think.”

  My eyes widened. “I already ate two cookies. They were amazing. Chocolate chip goodness. How do you make them so gooey on the inside?”

  Teeny raised her eyebrows. “That’s a secret I’ve been perfecting for years. If you want to know you’re going to have to kill me.”

  “Not in the mood for that kind of humor right now, Teeny.” Miss May said.

  “Fine. I take them out about two minutes early and let them set. By the time they cool, they don’t taste underdone, they’re just gooey and delicious. There’s my secret. And you still haven’t told what you think of the cookies, May.”

  “They’re great, Teeny. You know I think they’re great because I sell them in my bakeshop.”

  Teeny scrunched up her mouth. “Oh yeah. Forgot about that. So what do we know about Beth?”

  “This one’s a little tough because she lived a couple towns over,” said Miss May. “Beth has been around for years and years and she was in Pine Grove often, but somehow it’s different when someone is not a resident.”

  Teeny took a bite of cookie. “We know she was strange.”

  “This may be a rumor,” said Miss May. “But I heard she was only recently released from Five Pines.”

  I coughed up a bit of cookie. “Five Pines the mental hospital?”

  “That’s right.”


  “I suppose it’s not too shocking,” I said. “She seemed like she struggled with paranoia. And maybe a little schizophrenia or something. I mean, she was suspicious of everyone.”

  “What else do we know about her?” Teeny asked.

  I turned to Miss May. “Did she have any genuine expertise in tarot cards? Is that something she’s being doing for a long time?”

  Miss May’s jaw dropped. “Great question, Chelsea. I think you know who we need to talk to first.”

  Teeny jumped her feet. “Who?”

  Miss May grabbed her car keys off the table. “I’ll show you.”

  9

  Salazar Speaks

  Salazar was Pine Grove’s only licensed, accredited psychic. I wasn’t sure what kind of license he had, but I did know he had one from somewhere.

  He lived in a little fairytale home nestled deep in the forest outside of town. Miss May and I had visited him on prior investigations, and he had been helpful, if eccentric. So when we started up the hill toward Salazar’s house, I realized exactly where we were headed.

  Miss May had been making Teeny and I guess where we were going for the duration of the drive. I laughed out loud the second we made a turn and I figured it out. Miss May turned to me with a smirk. “You know where we’re going finally?”

  I returned Miss May’s small smile. “Yup.”

  “Someone tell me,” Teeny said. “I hate not knowing things. That’s why I try not to learn too much. As soon as you start to learn something you figure out all the stuff you need to learn, and then it’s three months later and you realize you’re not gonna be able to make authentic pork dumplings until you understand conversational Chinese.”

  Miss May chuckled. “We’re going to see Salazar.”

  Teeny’s jaw dropped. “Of course. Wow. I should have known that. Chelsea. You got that before me?”

  “Only because we’ve come up here on prior investigations.”

  “Still. I should’ve figured that out. If I want to be part of this crime solving trio, I need to carry my weight. Even though I do weigh less than you two honkers.”

  “Teeny,” I started, “honkers is not something they say in—”

  “Britain. Yes it is,” Teeny said.

  Miss May interrupted our debate and made eye contact with Teeny in the rearview mirror. “Remember ten, fifteen years ago? Beth—”

  “Beth was business partners with Salazar!” Teeny gasped. “They did tarot readings and they talked to the dead and did all sorts of that psychic stuff together.”

  “You believe in all that?” Miss May asked.

  “I do and I don’t,” said Teeny. “I try to be open to everything so I don’t get caught by surprise. But if Salazar was really an omniscient being then don’t you think he’d be able to solve the mysteries before the three of us?”

  “Good point,” said Miss May. “Although I’m hoping this time he’ll have some information that can help.”

  Miss May parked on the street, and we started walking into the woods. Since Salazar’s fairy tale house was nestled in the woods, we could only access it by foot.

  The outline of the house rose in the distance, and I remembered how truly weird and charming it was. Turrets painted like magical mushrooms. A cobblestone path leading to a massive front door. It felt like a combination of a church, a doctor’s office, and a hobbit’s mansion.

  I heard yelling from inside the house and stopped short. Miss May bumped into me, and Teeny bumped into her. They began to argue but I turned with an intense look in my eye, holding my finger to my lips. I whispered. “Quiet. I hear something. Salazar is yelling at someone inside.”

  We stood still for a moment, listening. Sure enough, I was right. The sound of raised voices emanated from the house, getting louder with each passing second.

  I spotted a little shed about twenty feet away, down another cobblestone path. I gestured at it with my head. “Let’s go over there. It’s closer to the house. We can hide and hear what they’re saying.”

  We hurried over to the shed and took cover behind it.

  “This is a bad idea,” said Teeny. “Now that we’re behind the shed, it’s even harder to hear.”

  I cringed. “You’re right. But at least we’re not out in the open.”

  I craned my neck and peered around the edge of the shed to get a better look at the house. The yelling died down. Then the front door opened.

  A little, bald man stepped outside. He was wearing khaki slacks and a plaid shirt, tucked into a neat line at his waist. Salazar stood in the doorway, arms crossed. “Please do not return to my home with such quotidian demands. I deal in transcendence, not petty cash. Your energy will take days to clear.”

  The little man threw back his head and laughed. “You can’t clear energies any more than you can tell the future or see into a little crystal ball. You owe a debt to me, and to everyone who’s ever hired you — every one of your clients deserves a refund!”

  That time, it was Salazar’s turn to laugh. And laugh he did, for several protracted, uneasy minutes. At last, he swallowed his unsettling chuckles and his face returned to its normal placidity. “I owe you no debt. If you expect to extort me to settle your own financial troubles, I am afraid you’ll be disappointed. You’ll get no funds from me unless you take me to court, where I doubt you’ll emerge victorious.”

  The little bald man scoffed. “Then I guess I’ll see you in court.”

  The little bald man turned on his heels and charged away, down the cobblestone path, and into the woods.

  Miss May, Teeny, and I watched the sedan as the man disappeared down the path. When we turned back toward the house, Salazar was standing directly above us. “Hello, ladies. Can I help you?”

  Miss May raised her eyebrows. “Salazar. Hi. I’m so sorry for hiding behind your shed like this. It’s just…”

  “It’s fine, really. I understand. You heard me arguing with that little bald devil and you wanted to avoid an awkward situation so you took cover. I would’ve done the same.”

  Teeny bit her lower lip. “How did you find us out here? How did you know? Is it… Was it because of your powers?”

  Salazar shook his head. “I’m flattered. But Chelsea left her Thomas Family Fruit and Fir Farm tote bag leaning against the side of the shed. So I made an educated guess.”

  Teeny looked down. “Oh. That makes sense.”

  Salazar turned and headed back toward his front door. He called back over his shoulder when he got close to the entrance. “Are you three coming in or not?”

  10

  Shedding Layers

  Salazar had been so relaxed when he found us eavesdropping behind his shed. As he let us into his home, his even-keeled energy made the hair on my neck stand up. If I had found people lurking in my yard, it would have freaked me out. Even though Salazar had been angry at his visitor moments before, he didn’t seem to mind our sneaky presence at all.

  I rubbed my hands on my jeans. Yes, my palms were sweaty. We all know I sweat a lot. Doctors can’t help. Trust me, I’ve asked.

  As we entered the front room of Salazar’s home, I remembered how much I admired his taste in interior design. A beautiful bouquet of yellow tulips dominated the entryway and I wondered how he managed to keep his flower supply so fresh. Did he pick the flowers from the woods? Did he have a flower delivery service? I thought about asking, but we had more important inquiries.

  Salazar’s house was modern but still comfortable. It didn’t have any stereotypical psychic or palm reader decor. The absence of mystical details actually made me trust Salazar and his abilities more. Like he didn’t have anything to prove.

  Salazar took a seat in an armchair and gestured for us to sit on the couch on the opposite side of the room. “Please. Sit and be well. Relax your energies and your spirits. This is a safe space and I welcome you.”

  Teeny narrowed her eyes. “Why would you welcome us? You just caught us eavesdropping in your yard and hiding behind your shed like sn
eaky little muskrats.”

  Salazar chuckled. “I don’t blame you. You arrived at my home, no doubt for a psychic reading or another one of my highly acclaimed services. Upon approaching my door you heard angry voices. It is no secret that the three of you are often in dangerous situations. Your instincts took over and you cowered behind the shed. I hold you blameless and I like to think I would’ve done the same.”

  Salazar reached over to the end table and switched on an old Tiffany lamp — one of a few stained glass accent pieces. The lamp give off prisms of colored light, which had a soothing impact on my senses.

  “Yes,” said Miss May. “We were here for those reasons, and I suppose we were acting normally, considering the circumstances. Was everything all right between you and that man? You both seemed angry.”

  Salazar slowly nodded his head with closed eyes, then opened them. “All is well and as it should be. It’s funny how the universe works like that.”

  I looked over at Teeny. She rolled her eyes. “That’s great. All of that universe stuff. But seriously, what was up with that guy?”

  Salazar’s smile faded. “It was a small dispute and I don’t wish to discuss it further. Did you say you’re here to procure my services?”

  “Yes. We would like to take advantage of your expertise,” said Miss May. “Everyone knows you’re the best…”

  “Mystic.”

  “Right. You’re the best mystic in town.”

  “I’m the only mystic in town.”

  “And you’re the best mystic in the area. In the tri-state region. And probably on the entire eastern seaboard.”

  Salazar leaned back in his chair, apparently soothed by Miss May’s compliments. Funny how even people who claim to have a connection to a world greater than our own are still susceptible to vanities of the ego. “All three of you would like a psychic reading this afternoon?”