by Karen Lynch
“I zapped a vampire at the barn.”
I set down the weights I was holding and turned to her, waiting for her to say more.
“Tristan told you?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She bit her lip. “Why didn’t you say something?”
I leaned against the wall. “I figured you would tell me when you were ready, and when you felt like you could trust me again.”
Her eyes met mine. “I never stopped trusting you.”
The weight on my chest eased a little at her earnest declaration. Knowing I hadn’t lost her trust gave me hope, and it was a step toward regaining what I’d had with her. I would not push her for more than that. Instead, I turned the conversation back to a more neutral subject.
“Do you want to tell me what happened? Tristan said you were able to sense them.”
She nodded. “Derek was showing us the loft because he’s turning it into an art studio. We were about to go back to the house when I got this cold feeling in my chest. I’ve felt it before, but never that bad. I could barely breathe. Then Derek’s friend Seth showed up. I didn’t know he was a vampire, not until I saw his claws growing. It got kind of crazy after that. Derek got knocked out, and Jordan killed Seth.”
She rubbed her breastbone absently. “And then I felt the cold again. That’s when I realized what it meant.”
“What happened next?”
“Seth’s girlfriend Dana showed up with another vampire. Jordan took Dana, and I took the other one. I fought him with my knife until I lost it. Then I jumped on his back to hold him so Jordan could finish him off. But when my hands touched his face, my power shocked him. He fell down, and I used a knife to kill him.”
She gave me a frustrated look. “I tried to call on the power like we practiced, but it wouldn’t come until I touched him. Then it just jumped out of me like it did with the other demons. I don’t understand why it burned him, but it didn’t burn you.”
“A vamhir demon is always close to the surface because it controls the body. You couldn’t feel my demon until I called it forth.”
I was proud of her, but it was hard to move past the thought of her being so close to a vampire, especially after Eli. But a trainer wouldn’t dwell on those things, and that was all I could be to her until she was ready for more.
“This is good. It means you have a built-in defense against vampires, young ones at least. We need to keep working on it to make sure it is reliable.”
“What about my vampire radar?” she asked hopefully. “Can we go somewhere and test it?”
“Not until we spend a lot more time on your training. There will be plenty of time to test your other abilities.”
“Okay,” she conceded. “When can we work on my power again?”
I picked up a jump rope, pleased she wanted to work with me. “Let’s finish your workout and we’ll meet up after lunch for your other training.”
Our days took on a routine after that. We did physical training in the mornings, and after lunch we focused on improving her control over her power. With each day that passed, her combat moves grew more precise and she seemed less tired at the end of our workouts.
It was her progress with her Fae power that impressed me the most. I didn’t know if her power was growing stronger or if she was getting better at wielding it, but it was clear where her real strength lay. I was torn between wanting to see what she could do against a real threat and hoping she never had to use it to protect herself again.
Although Sara and I spent our mornings and afternoons together, we never talked about anything besides her training. And we didn’t see each other outside of training, except in passing. It was like a wall had been erected between us and we grew further apart each day.
My mother called every other day to see how I was doing. Every time we talked, she reminded me the strongest matings usually started out rocky and that Sara would come around if I continued to be patient. I appreciated her advice, and I didn’t press Sara, but it felt like Sara was slowly slipping away from me.
It was clear Sara wasn’t happy either. When I saw her with her friends, her smiles weren’t as bright and she didn’t laugh. I hoped Nate’s upcoming visit would cheer her up. I even considered inviting Roland and Peter here to spend time with her. I’d do whatever it took to make her happy.
On Saturday evening, I left the security center, and I was headed for the dining hall when I heard laughter ahead of me. I slowed my approach and watched Sara and Chris walk through the main hall, their arms laden with shopping bags. Chris carried a bucket of cat litter in one hand and a piece of cat furniture in the other. He said something to Sara, and she grinned at him, looking happy for the first time in a week.
I waited for them to go up the stairs to her room before I continued on to the dining hall. I was glad to find it almost empty because I wasn’t in the mood for company. I grabbed a plate of food and sat alone, trying not to think about how it should have been me to take Sara to town. It should have been me to make her smile like that.
I was so lost in thought that I didn’t realize someone had entered the dining hall until I heard a sound on the other side of the room. I groaned inwardly when I recognized Celine, who was taking several bottles of Perrier from one of the glass refrigerators. I hadn’t talked to her since I got back last weekend, and I assumed she was keeping a polite distance like everyone else.
I didn’t think she had spotted me yet, but she would as soon as she turned around. And then…
“Nikolas, why are you sitting in here alone?”
I sighed and put on a smile. “Got caught up in work. You know how it is.”
She was quiet for a moment before she walked over to my table. For once, the sultry expression was gone, replaced by one of concern.
“I heard what happened. How are you?”
“I’m good. Thanks for asking.”
“Do you mind if I join you?” she asked almost demurely.
I waved a hand at the chair across from me. “Not at all.”
She set her bottles down on the table and sat with her hands on her lap. This reserved Celine was one I hadn’t seen before, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“I feel I should apologize to you.”
I gave her a puzzled look. “Why?”
Her brows drew together delicately. “If I’d known you were bonded, I would not have pursued you since you came home.”
I started to speak, but she held up a hand.
“Please, let me finish. You know I’ve been attracted to you since our week in New York. I’ve never exactly hidden my desire to resume a relationship with you.”
I smiled, unsure how to respond.
“But had I known you were bonded, I wouldn’t have come on so strong. You’ve been very gracious about my advances, and I want to apologize for any discomfort I caused you.”
“You don’t have to apologize. You couldn’t have known, and this hasn’t exactly been a normal bonding.”
Celine reached across the table Then she seemed to think better of it and withdrew her hand. “Are you okay? Forgive me for intruding, but you don’t look happy.”
“No one ever said bonding was easy.”
“I suppose not, but I don’t think you’re supposed to be miserable either.”
I shrugged. “I’m more worried about her happiness. This hasn’t been easy on her.”
Celine’s mouth pursed. “She is unusually young to be bonded. Perhaps too young to deal with this.”
I nodded absently because I had worried about the same thing more than once in the last week.
She stood and picked up her bottles of water. “I do care about you, Nikolas, and I only want you to be happy.”
“Thank you. I wish the same for you.”
Her flirty smile was back as she walked away. “I’m suffering a disappointment at the moment, but I’m sure I’ll rebound in no time.”
“I’m sure you will,” I called after her.
Chapter 23
“I think that’s all of them.” Tristan tossed a stack of papers down on the coffee table and rolled his shoulders. “I remember when I used to get five to ten reports a week. I get twice that many every day now.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, which ached from hours poring over the detailed field reports. “Dax and I have been trying to come up with some kind of pattern to explain why the vampires have been active in certain cities more than others. LA and Vegas have been hit the hardest, but we’re also seeing higher activity in Houston and San Diego.”
“All western cities.” Tristan leaned back in his chair.
I nodded. “I talked to Maxwell Kelly yesterday, and he said it’s been so quiet in Maine he went back to normal patrols. He said the whole East Coast is quiet.”
Tristan stared at the reports. “I don’t know if that’s good or bad news at this point.”
“It’s definitely not good for the western half,” I said. “Did you know Stefan Price was spotted in Albuquerque last night?”
“Stefan Price?”
I understood his surprise. Price was an old vampire, over one hundred and fifty years old, and we had been trying to catch him for the last seventy-five years. He was a strong bastard and skilled at evading us.
“There hasn’t been a Price sighting in years. Word was he went to South America.”
I shrugged. “Looks like he’s back.”
Tristan swore softly and stood. “I’ll have to let the Council know.”
“And that’s my cue to leave.” I got up and opened the door. Instead of leaving, I turned back to Tristan. “Have you talked to Sara today? She was upset in training this morning, but she wouldn’t talk about it.”
“Yes.” He sighed heavily. “Nate’s taken ill with pneumonia, and he can’t come for the holiday.”
“We can send one of the healers to him. He can still make it for Thanksgiving dinner.” Sara would be crushed if Nate couldn’t be here.
Tristan shook his head. “I offered, but he’s not comfortable with non-human medicine. He said he’ll come as soon as he’s fit to travel.”
“Sara’s been looking forward to his visit for weeks. This must be killing her, especially on top of everything else.”
“I know, but she’s strong. She’ll be okay –”
“She’s not okay, Tristan,” I said harshly, thinking about the pain Sara must be in. “Nothing about this is okay. I’ve never seen her so unhappy. I wanted her to know about us, but this is all wrong. This is not what I wanted for her.”
He nodded gravely. “This hasn’t been easy on either of you.”
“I don’t care about me. She’s miserable. I can’t stand to see her like this. I’d rather she break the bond and be free than be tied to someone she doesn’t want.”
“You don’t mean that.” Tristan came over and laid a hand on my shoulder. “It’s only been a week, though I’m sure it feels like much longer to you. Sara does care about you, and she’s trying to understand all of this. She’s seventeen, and she just found out she’s bonded to you. She probably doesn’t know how to talk to you about it.”
Some of the tension left my body. “I’ll wait until after the holiday. If she doesn’t come to me by then, I’m going to her. We have to work this out one way or the other.”
* * *
After my talk with Tristan, the last person I expected to see two hours later when I came back from the security center was Sara. She was standing in the hallway, facing the other end, and so lost in thought she didn’t hear me approach.
“Sara?”
She gasped and spun around, and I caught her before she fell. Her eyes met mine, and she looked as surprised as I was.
I let her go. “What are you doing here? Were you looking for me?”
Her mouth opened and closed, and a panicked look entered her eyes. “N-no,” she uttered, stumbling past me.
What the hell? I caught her again and turned her to face me. That was when I got a whiff of alcohol coming from her. Didn’t she know that faeries couldn’t handle human alcohol?
“What is wrong with you? Are you drunk?”
“No!” She jerked her arms out of my hold and immediately began to turn a sickly shade of green. A hand came up to cover her mouth. “Oh, I don’t feel good.”
Something told me I was the last person she wanted to see her like this, but that couldn’t be helped now. I picked her up as gently as I could and carried her to my apartment. Inside, I went straight to the bathroom and set her down on the floor. She fell to her knees in front of the toilet and began to vomit.
I stood behind her, holding her hair back, and I was assailed by the sour odor of alcohol, which left no doubt as to what she’d been up to before she came here.
“Oh God, I’m dying,” she moaned piteously then retched again.
I smiled, remembering the few times in my life when I’d overindulged in spirits. Sara wasn’t soon going to forget this experience.
She raised her head a few inches. “Please, go away and let me die in peace.”
Not a chance. I grabbed a cloth and ran it under cold water. Squeezing the water from it, I carried it over and lifted her hair to lay it across the back of her neck. She let out a sigh before she threw up again.
Eventually, the vomiting stopped, and she flushed the toilet with a trembling hand. I went to the sink to wet the cloth again, and I turned around to find her huddled against the tub.
Suppressing a smile, I sat on my haunches and lifted her chin so I could wash her face. She didn’t protest, which told me how miserable she was.
“Do you need to throw up again?” I asked.
She shook her head and rested her forehead on her knees, which were drawn up to her chest. It made her look so small and helpless, and all I wanted to do was hold her. Instead, I went to the cabinet and took out a can of gunna paste.
She pushed at my hand when I held the paste to her lips. She hated this stuff, but it was a lot better than the monster hangover she’d have in the morning without it.
“Trust me; you’ll be glad for it tomorrow.”
She opened her mouth and obediently took the paste, and her expression as she swallowed had me fighting back a laugh.
“Okay, let’s get you off this floor.”
I scooped her up in my arms and carried her into the living room where I set her down on one end of the couch. I sat on the other end and watched her as she leaned her head against the armrest with her eyes closed. Now that I had her here, there was so much I wanted to say to her, but I didn’t know if she was up to talking.
“Were you coming to see me?” I prodded gently.
A nod.
Her silent admission drew another smile from me. “And you had to get drunk first?” I teased.
“The trainees had a party,” she said hoarsely.
My smile grew. “Were you coming to invite me?”
She lifted her head, but didn’t look at me. “No, I –”
“Take your time,” I said when she struggled with her next words. I’d waited a long time to talk to her. What were a few more minutes?
“I…” She swallowed hard, and her voice shook. “I wanted to let you know that…that you’re free. I’m going to break the bond.”
Pain tore through me, and it felt like someone had shoved a red hot poker into my gut. My Mori howled, making it hard to speak.
“What?”
She looked at me, and I couldn’t bear the misery on her face. I stared at the window, trying to breathe and control my wailing demon.
“I’m sorry. I know I’m handling this all wrong,” she said in a trembling voice.
“Don’t apologize. I don’t think there is an easy way to do something like this.”
I took a deep breath, trying to accept what was happening. I’d feared she might not want the bond, but deep down, I’d never believed she would break it.
The poker twisted deeper when I realized I’d have to leave here tonight. I could never
see her, never hold her again. People said the bond faded completely when the couple was apart long enough, but my heart belonged to Sara. In my mind, she would always be my mate.
“This is why you were upset in training today,” I said numbly.
“No, that was something else.”
I steeled myself. It made no sense to stay here and torture myself further, but I had to know. “What made you wait until now to tell me? We see each other every day.”
“I-I overheard you talking to Tristan tonight.” Her voice cracked. “You said you wanted to break the bond.”
I jerked my head in her direction. “What are you talking about?”
Her shoulders were hunched and her eyes dark with pain. “You told Tristan you were miserable and that you didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t mean to listen, and I only heard bits of it. And then Celine said…”
Celine? I swore silently. “What did Celine say?”
“She said it wasn’t fair to hold you to a bond you didn’t want, and that you were too honorable to break it.”
Hope fluttered in my chest. Was she saying –?
A wave of pain came through the bond. Sara covered her face with her hands and began to cry.
“I’m s-sorry,” she sobbed brokenly. “I never meant to h-hurt you.”
“Damn it.” I never should have let things go this far without talking to her. I’d only ended up hurting her more.
I moved to the center of the couch and pulled her into my arms. My chest constricted when I thought of how close I’d come to never being able to hold her like this.
“Celine had no right to say that to you,” I said against her hair. “And you misunderstood what you heard me say to Tristan. I told him I never wanted you to find out the way you did, and that I would rather you break the bond than see you unhappy because of it.”
She grew very still against me. “You don’t want to break the bond?”
“No.”
Her breath hitched. “You don’t?”
“Do you?” I asked, not sure if I was ready to hear her answer.
I tried not to be discouraged when she didn’t respond. She hadn’t said yes, so that had to mean something. “You don’t have to answer right now,” I told her softly.