Warrior

by Karen Lynch

  “Help them?” I asked dumbly, still torn between shock and anger and relief she was unhurt.

  “I didn’t think you’d get here in time.” Her words were muffled against my chest. “I had to come.”

  I loosened my arms so I could see her. “How did you get here?”

  The answer hit me before she spoke, and my anger came roaring back as I scanned the room for the faerie. “I’ll kill him.”

  Her chin lifted. “No, you won’t.”

  My gaze swung back to her. “The hell I won’t. He’s supposed to be teaching you, not putting you in danger.”

  She pulled away from me, and I let my arms fall to my sides. I thought she was going to put distance between us, but she stayed within arm’s reach and met my gaze unflinchingly.

  “I asked him to bring me.”

  “And he should have said no. You could have been killed.” I knew Eldeorin was a bit outlandish, but I never believed he would endanger her this way.

  “Look around, Nikolas.” Her voice rose, and she waved her arm at the dead gulaks. “Most of the demons on the floor were put there by me. The team was in more danger of being killed than I was.”

  I glanced at the carnage around us, counting at least eight large gulaks and a drex demon. “You did this?”

  “Yes.” She crossed her arms. “And it’s not the first time.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I already knew about the demons at Draegan’s place. Had she not told me everything that had happened while we were separated?

  Her eyes locked with mine. “I mean I’ve killed a lot of demons and vampires. All over the country.”

  I stared at the dead gulaks, all of which were three times her size. And deadly. My gaze moved to Chris who gave me a small nod, his mouth set in a firm line.

  “Iisus Khristos! Please, tell me you’re joking,” I said harshly.

  She shook her head slowly. “I wouldn’t joke about that.”

  “YA ne mogu v eto poverit'!” I burst out, my stomach churning just imagining the risks she’d taken. All the times I’d thought she was safe at Eldeorin’s, he was taking her out and exposing her to the very things I was fighting to protect her from.

  I gripped her arms. “What in God’s name were you thinking? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you out there?”

  “I wasn’t alone. Eldeorin was with me every time,” she argued.

  “And that makes it okay? You’ve barely begun your training. You have no business being in any of those places.”

  She glared at me. “You had no problem with Jordan coming here.”

  “Jordan’s been training since she could hold a sword, and she can –”

  “Can what? Defend herself?” Her face flushed in anger, but there was no mistaking the hurt in her voice. “I’m never going to be like Jordan or any other warrior no matter how much I train, Nikolas. But I’m strong, a lot stronger than you give me credit for. You saw what I did in Vancouver. Eldeorin was with me, but over half of those kills were mine.”

  Vancouver? But that would mean…

  Who are you?

  A friend.

  “Sukin syn! That was you in the backyard?”

  She’d stood fifteen feet away from me, and I hadn’t sensed her presence or recognized her. Of course – Eldeorin and his goddamn glamours.

  “Yes.”

  I thought about all the reports of the mysterious vigilante who seemed to appear out of nowhere and killed with a weapon we hadn’t seen before. A Fae weapon, as it turned out.

  “All this time. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I knew you’d react this way. Eldeorin told me I had to learn to use my power as a weapon, and he was right. I needed this.” Her voice lowered. “I’ve been trying for weeks to tell you the truth, but I didn’t know how. I almost told you today, but you got the call to come here.”

  I remembered the occasions she’d been with us at the command center when we’d discussed the vigilante. She’d never said a word or had given any hint she knew who the person was. After everything we’d been through, she should have been able to tell me anything. Did she not trust me at all?

  She exhaled slowly. “It started out as training, but then I realized I could make a real difference.”

  I released her, not sure what to think or how to feel. “I can’t believe this. How could you keep this from me?”

  Her voice grew softer, imploring. “I didn’t want to. I hated not telling you.”

  I turned away from her because her pleading eyes made it impossible to think.

  “Nikolas?” she said quietly.

  “I need a minute, Sara,” I replied more harshly than I meant to. I had to put some space between us before I said something in anger that I couldn’t take back.

  She didn’t follow or call after me when I left the building and let the heavy door slam shut behind me. Outside, the rain and wind had picked up, a perfect accompaniment to the turbulence inside me. I set off down the street with no destination in mind, just the need to walk. It wasn’t as if I could go far. I was furious with her and my chest ached from her deception, and yet all I could see was the tears shimmering in her eyes before I left.

  Sara is the vigilante.

  Maybe if I said the words enough I’d accept them. Maybe then I could accept that the woman I loved, the person I’d lived with in the same house for months, had kept something so important from me. It made me question everything about us, about her. She knew how much I worried about her safety. Why would she do this?

  Because she knew you’d never think she was ready, a tiny voice whispered in my head.

  I tried to ignore it, but it got louder and more insistent. How many times since I met her had I told her she needed to be protected? How many times had I said she wasn’t strong enough to protect herself? And how many times had she told me she didn’t want to be coddled and she couldn’t live like that?

  Eldeorin had told me weeks ago that I judged Sara’s fighting skills by Mohiri standards and that I had no idea how strong she really was. I’d watched some of her training with Aine from a distance, so I knew her power was not something to take lightly. I’d just never thought she’d advanced this far.

  I’d seen some of the vigilante’s kills and heard the stories about her fighting skills. I’d talked to warriors who might have died in recent vampire attacks if the vigilante hadn’t shown up out of nowhere to fight beside them.

  I stopped walking and turned back toward the building. Releasing a ragged breath, I wondered what really upset me more: Sara keeping this from me, or that she’d been out there fighting vampires, and demons, and God only knew what else. If Jordan had turned out to be the vigilante and the one keeping secrets from us, would I have reacted this way?

  I didn’t need to think about it for long to come up with the answer.

  The truth was I knew Sara was strong, and I’d known the night of the attack on Westhorne she’d one day be a force to be reckoned with. But I’d also been happy to keep her tucked away at Eldeorin’s the last few months, where I could do my job and not have to fear for her safety. I’d told her it wasn’t safe out here, and yet I’d been okay with sending a trainee out into the field.

  Because Jordan’s not my mate.

  And there was the crux of this whole situation. Sara was my mate, and it was impossible for me to separate logic from emotion when it came to her. No matter how good a fighter she was or how well she could defend herself, my heart and my Mori couldn’t see past the need to protect her. If anything happened to her, life would cease to have meaning for me.

  I grimaced as I arrived back at the door of the building. Now that I’d admitted the truth to myself, where did that leave Sara and me? I would not lose her over this, but I didn’t know how we were going to move past it.

  I opened the door and entered the building more quietly this time. I tried not to look at the dead demons, but my eyes went to them anyway. I pictured Sara being mauled by a gu
lak or drex demon. And then I thought about what Draegan had planned to do to her before I’d killed him. Fear twisted my gut, and my Mori grew agitated again.

  Everyone was pretty much where I’d left them. Sara watched me approach and drew her shoulders up as if steeling herself for the worst.

  “Just tell me you’re done with this,” I said when I stood in front of her.

  She frowned. “Done?”

  “No more rogue…vigilante…or whatever.” I understood her need to fight and to help others, but I didn’t know how to deal with the thought of her going off alone.

  She took a breath. “What if this is what I’m supposed to do, just like you’re supposed to be a warrior?”

  “It’s too dangerous,” I replied without thinking.

  “It’ll always be dangerous, Nikolas,” she shot back. “I was there in Vancouver, remember? You and Chris put your lives in danger all the time. Soon Jordan will be a warrior and she will too. Are you going to hold her back and tell her it’s too dangerous for her?”

  “Khristu!” I dragged my hand through my hair. I was saying all the wrong things again, and my Mori wasn’t helping. All it wanted was to protect our mate no matter how good a warrior she was. “I don’t want to hold you back, but every instinct I have is telling me I need to keep you safe.”

  I waited for her to be angry, to yell at me. I deserved it after the way I’d spoken to her. What I didn’t expect was the look of total defeat that crossed her face.

  “I understand,” she said tonelessly as she turned away.

  I’d never seen her like this, and it sent a cold shiver across the back of my neck. “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going home,” she replied without looking back. “I can’t do this anymore.”

  “Can’t do what?” I asked, alarmed by the sudden change in her.

  “Love you.”

  The words were whispered so softly that for a second I thought I’d imagined them.

  My heart thudded as I caught her hand and gently pulled her back around to face me. She wouldn’t look at me, so I lifted her chin until I could see her tear-filled eyes.

  “You love me?” I asked in a raw voice.

  Her tears spilled over.

  “Yes.”

  Chapter 39

  Overcome with emotion, my mouth covered hers. She reached for me at the same time, pulling my head down to her. I tasted her tears on our lips as I poured all my love and months of longing into the kiss. When I felt the faint joy of her Mori through our bond, it was like finding a lost piece of me.

  I lifted my head and used my thumbs to brush away her tears, humbled by the love shining in her eyes.

  “Ya lyublyu tebya,” I whispered gruffly.

  It took me a second to realize I’d professed my love to her in Russian and she had no idea what I was saying. Smiling at my blunder, I took her face in my hands.

  “I love you.”

  Her smile stole my breath. “I love you, too,” she said huskily.

  My lips captured hers again in a slow, lingering kiss. Then I wrapped her tightly in my arms and buried my face in her hair. I didn’t think I could ever let her go from my arms again.

  “I wasn’t sure if you…” she whispered.

  “And I didn’t think you were ready to hear it. I was waiting for you to say something, to let me know you felt the same way.”

  God, I was such a fool. I should have told her how I felt months ago. I could have saved us both so much lost time.

  “How…long?” she asked hesitantly.

  I pulled back, and she looked up at me. Unable to stop touching her, my hand came up to caress her cheek.

  “I was lost the first moment I saw you at that club in Portland. I just didn’t know it yet. Before I even knew who or what you were, I was drawn to you. At first, I told myself it was my responsibility to protect you. But the more time I spent with you, even when we were arguing, the more I knew what I felt for you was anything but duty. I don’t think I knew how deep my feelings were until that day you traded yourself for Nate.”

  I took a ragged breath. “That ride from Portland was the longest of my life.”

  Pain flashed in her eyes, and she leaned into my hand. “I’m sorry I put you through that.”

  I brushed the lose tendrils of hair from her face. “I know. Your courage is one of the first things I came to love about you, and I should have known you’d do anything to protect Nate and your friends.”

  “And you,” she declared fiercely.

  I hugged her tightly again, half afraid none of this was real.

  Sara made a small sound of embarrassment and buried her face against my chest. It took me a moment to realize why.

  “They left.” I’d noticed we were alone after our first kiss, and I figured it was Chris’s doing. Jordan would have wanted ringside seats.

  “What?” Sara murmured.

  I smiled, wanting to kiss her until she couldn’t think of anything else.

  “Chris and the others. They went outside.”

  “Oh.”

  I took her hand and led her to a nearby bench. She sat on one end, but that was too much distance for my liking. Scooping her into my arms, I settled her on my lap.

  She sighed happily and nestled against me, her fingers toying with the fabric of my shirt.

  “I was so busy trying to push you away that I refused to admit I felt anything for you at first,” she said softly. “I didn’t know for sure that I loved you until Thanksgiving, but I think I started to fall for you at my apartment the night of the storm.”

  “Was it my mad cooking skills?” I teased, even though my mind reeled from the discovery she’d loved me all this time.

  She laughed softly. “It was the first time I saw a different side of you, and you weren’t bossing me around for once.”

  I stroked her hair. “We’ve come a long way since that night.”

  “Yes, but you’re still trying to boss me around,” she retorted playfully.

  “And you still make me want to tie your ass to a chair to keep you out of trouble.”

  She snorted delicately. “Ha, you can try.”

  I looked at a dead drex demon ten feet away and grimaced. “Sara, I hate the idea of you out there fighting, and I doubt I’ll ever be okay with it. I don’t think any male would be okay with the woman he loves putting herself in danger.”

  She grew quiet. “Do you know what it’s like for me when you go away on a job, especially with the way things are now? I don’t sleep, and I spend every minute praying we don’t get word that you’re in trouble – or worse. It’s torture. That night we heard you were under attack in Vancouver, I almost lost it. I almost lost you. Seeing you in danger kills me.”

  I knew she stayed at the command center whenever I had to leave on a job, and she refused to go home until I returned. After Raoul had told me that, I’d started calling her to let her know I was okay. But I hadn’t realized what she was going through until now.

  “I never thought about how hard that was for you. I’ve spent my whole life being a warrior and not much else. Before you, I didn’t have someone waiting for me when the job was done or worrying about my safety.”

  She let out a deep breath. “This is new for both of us, and we’re going to have to learn to deal with it.”

  “Something tells me you’re going to cope with this a lot better than I will.”

  She touched my jaw to get me to look at her. “We’ll figure it out together. Knowing us, it won’t be easy, but I’ll try if you will.”

  Easier said than done. “I’ll try, but I can’t promise to have any civil words for the faerie.”

  She made a face. “I’ve had a few choice words for him myself. At first I didn’t like his idea of training because he pushed me out of my comfort zone. He always had more faith in my abilities than I had, and he kept pushing until I believed in myself too. He’s been a good mentor and a friend to me, and he always has my back.”

  I tried n
ot to be jealous of the affection in her voice when she talked about the faerie. “You like spending time with him.”

  She smiled. “Sometimes, but I like being with you more.”

  My lips met hers again. “Good answer.”

  She rested her head against my shoulder again and surveyed the damage in the room. After a moment, she sighed and sat up straighter. “I guess we should get this mess cleaned up.”

  I reluctantly released her and looked around the deserted market.

  “I’m sure Chris has already called for a cleanup crew. We should probably put one on speed dial for you.”

  She scowled at me, but Jordan’s voice cut off whatever she was going to say.

  “Hey, is it safe to come in now? We’re freezing our butts off out here.”

  Sara smiled at me. “All good.”

  Jordan breezed into the building with Chris behind her, both of them grinning at us.

  “Thank God!” Jordan wrinkled her nose at us. “Well, you two look disgustingly happy. And it’s about damn time.”

  “Amen,” Chris said. “I called in a crew to help with this mess. I told them they might need extra guys.”

  I laughed at the look Sara gave him before she walked away to talk to some of the vendors who had returned to their stalls. She walked around, conversing with them as if she hung out in wrakks every day. I’d never seen her around demons, and it struck me how quickly she put them at ease. I couldn’t hear their conversations, but I saw it in their posture and the smiles and nods they gave her.

  I also noticed her outfit for the first time. Dressed in tight black jeans, a black T-shirt, and combat boots, she looked ready to kick ass and take names. I could barely take my eyes off her.

  “Hey, Romeo?” A hand waved in front of my face. “I hate to interrupt your ogling, but duty calls.”

  I tore my gaze from Sara to glower at Chris. “I don’t ogle.”

  “Right.” He shook his head and walked away, stepping over several gru-eels flopping around on the wet concrete. “Jesus, what a mess.”

  “You want to give me the rundown?”

  He picked up his sword and shook the gore from it before he wiped it on the body of a ranc demon.