Familiar

by Roseau, Robin

  Three times the nurses tried to get rid of her, but each time she did something, and they let her stay. The doctors worked on me, and they attached an I.V. and began filling my blood back up.

  I tried to tell them, "No," but Arianna told me to shut up, and I had to obey.

  I didn't really register what the doctor told Arianna, but when I looked over, she was using her magic on him. I was sure they would want to keep me for psychological examination, but they moved me to intensive care and continued to fill me with blood.

  Arianna never left me.

  I was pretty out of it most of the time, but trying as hard as I could, I wasn't able to fade away. When I came to full awareness, Arianna was sitting in a chair next to my bed, watching me, and she knew the moment I was fully aware.

  "Are you awake?" she asked quietly.

  "Yes," I said. She had ordered me to answer when she asked me questions, so I had to answer.

  "You will never do that again," she ordered. "Do you understand? You will never do that again."

  "I understand," I told her.

  "Moira," she said. "I don't understand. Why?"

  "I told you," I said. "I'd rather die than be a slave. I'd rather die than help you do evil. You told me this was permanent. You told me that I belonged to you forever. You also told me that I would live a very, very long time. I didn't think I had a choice."

  She hung her head. I thought perhaps she was very weary. I didn't care. What I did care was that she had found me too soon. I looked away.

  "Look at me," she ordered a few minutes later. I turned to face her. "I told you I would treat you very well."

  "I haven't seen much evidence of that so far, and a gilded cage is still a cage."

  "You didn't give me a chance," she said.

  "I think you've already displayed your spots, Arianna," I told her. "For all I know, 'treat you very well' means you'll give me a comfortable dog bed to sleep on, and let me salt my gruel to my taste."

  "You didn't give me a chance," she said again.

  "You have had ample opportunity to demonstrate to me exactly what type of person you are," I told her. "Good people don't kidnap and enslave other people. You have kidnapped and enslaved me. Ergo, you are not a good person."

  "Ergo?" she asked.

  "Yes. Ergo. It's Latin for 'therefore'."

  "I know what it means," she said. "I just wasn't expecting you to use it."

  "Why? Because people from hick towns like Bayfield are stupid and haven't had any education?"

  She looked away, and then I did. Still looking away, she said, "The love and devotion spells shouldn't have let you hate me so much."

  She hadn't asked a question, so I wasn't obliged to respond.

  She tried again. "Why are you able to hate me so much?"

  "I don't know how to answer that," I said. She was making a false assumption. I wanted to hate her, but I couldn't. She was right; her spells didn't allow it. But even though I loved her, I could still see what she was. And I could tell her what she was. It hurt me emotionally, because I was disappointing her. I guess that was what the devotion spell was. But I could still do it.

  "I've only had one familiar before," she said. "I found her when she was very young."

  I turned back to face her. "How young?"

  "Four," she said. "But let me finish, please, Moira." She faced me. "Her parents were poor. They let me take her. They didn't know why I wanted her, of course. They thought I was simply a rich woman. They let me take her, and I sent them money every year so they would have a better life. I raised her as if I were her aunt."

  "Raised her? You said if I had been found when I was five, I would still look five."

  "Yes," she said. "If you had been claimed as a familiar. I didn't claim her until she was fourteen. Back then, fourteen was considered an adult."

  "Back then?"

  "This was over two hundred years ago, Moira."

  I stared at her.

  "You may ask," she said, smiling.

  "How old are you?"

  "I was born in the year of our Lord, seventeen hundred and fifty-one."

  I stared at her. "You don't look a day over forty-five."

  She laughed. I had tried to insult her, but she laughed.

  "What happened to her?"

  "That part I will save for another day," she said. "I am going to finish my story. I have a point. I raised her from when she was four. She understood what she was, and what she would be to me. I taught her. I sheltered her. I raised her in a fine home, but as you say, in a gilded cage. It was what she knew and expected. And it was far, far better than she would have had if I hadn't found her. So when I claimed her, she did not fight me like you have."

  "Did you use the spells you used on me?"

  "Yes," she said. "And I was not as good at them back then as I am now. While she was a child, prone to disobey an authority figure like any other child, she had no reason to resent her situation."

  "And your point?"

  "I don't have any experience with doing it this way. I suspect very, very few witches do. That you reached adulthood without being discovered is nearly unbelievable, but yet, here you are."

  "I still don't see your point," I told her.

  "Through inexperience, I am making mistakes. I know I am. I am sorry. I tried to be gentle. But I couldn't let you go, not once I had found you. I know you resent that. But familiars are not common. If there is another unclaimed familiar in all of Wisconsin, I would be surprised."

  "And you have made your problem my problem."

  "Yes, I have. Moira, I will treat you very well. By standards you would consider as being treated very well."

  "For a slave."

  "No, not for a slave." She looked away again, but I saw the corner of her lips turn down and a shadow cross her face. "Perhaps if you considered me the dominant one in a loving relationship, it might help."

  I didn't bother arguing with her.

  She waited a moment to see if I had any response. I didn't. "How do you feel?"

  "I don't know how to answer that."

  "I want to take you home," she said. "Do you need a wheelchair or do you feel you can walk?"

  "I don't know," I said. The last I.V. had been taken out of my arm while I'd been zoned out, but I was dressed in a hospital gown.

  She climbed to her feet then moved to the side of the bed nearest the door. She did something to lower the railing on the side of the bed, then told me, "Swing your legs down, let's see how you do."

  I sat up in bed and swung my legs over. I knew immediately I was going to need a wheelchair, but she hadn't asked. Maybe I could fall and do something that the hospital would require me to stay longer. I didn't volunteer any information.

  "Stand up," she said. "You may put your arm around me to steady yourself."

  I slipped off the bed and stood, or tried to. I nearly collapsed and would have fallen to the floor if Arianna hadn't caught me. She helped me back onto the bed and told me, "Go ahead and lie down. I'll get a wheelchair and we'll get you out of here. Try to sleep. If anyone comes in while I am gone, pretend to be asleep. If they wake you and ask you questions, try to demur. If they are insistent, tell them we had a stupid fight, we both said stupid things, and you thought I was breaking up with you. But it's all better and you want to go home."

  I smiled. It was going to be interesting if they asked me anything other than why I had attempted to kill myself.

  But she had ordered me to try to sleep. I curled up on the bed, and she pulled the covers up to my chin. I closed my eyes, and I didn't have to try very hard. I slept.

  * * * *

  Arianna got me home. She and Neal nearly had to carry me to bed. I shouldn't have been out of the hospital. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

  When I next woke, it was mid-morning. Arianna was sitting in a chair next to the bed, reading. She heard me stir, looked at me, and smiled. "Good morning."

  "What-" I started to say. My vo
ice croaked. "What time is it?"

  "10:20," she said. "How do you feel?"

  "Horrible," I said. I struggled to get up. "I have to go to work!"

  "Lie back," she told me, and my body instantly, obediently complied. "Neal called in sick for you."

  "Oh god," I said. "Did he tell them-"

  "He told them you were very sick, that you even visited the emergency room last night."

  I relaxed more firmly in the bed. I looked away. "I failed."

  "It was close," she said. "I was so scared."

  "I imagine," I said. "You almost lost your second familiar. That must have sucked."

  "I was scared because I care about you," she said. "I was scared because I knew I was the cause of what you had tried to do."

  I turned away to look out the window. "I'm going to have scars."

  "Yes. The doctor said they would be small."

  I turned to face her. "You're a witch. You have magic. Heal them."

  "I'm sorry, Moira," she told me. "My magic doesn't affect physical things that way. I am a passion witch. I gain my magic from the passion of others. All witches are able to use their magic to ensure a very long life, and the familiar bond will tie your aging to mine. But I have no special healing abilities beyond basic first aid. I'm sorry."

  "Do you get sick?"

  "Yes and no. I have never had the common cold; you won't, either."

  "No more colds?"

  "No more influenza of any sort. No, um. Social diseases. Parasites are still a problem."

  "Parasites?"

  "The various forms of intestinal parasites," she said. "I am careful about what I eat." She grimaced. "And having lived through a time of poor hygiene, I can't stand body parasites: ticks, lice, that sort of thing."

  "They gross me out, too," I agreed. "So there is nothing you can do about my wrists hurting?"

  "I have pain medication for you," she said. "Neal picked them up before he went to work. The doctor made me promise to lock the pills away from you. I am to regulate when you take them."

  I laughed weakly. "As if you would follow any rules you didn't find convenient."

  "I find these rules convenient," she said. "I have to leave the room to get them."

  "I would appreciate it," I said.

  She stood up and looked at me on the bed. "Moira, I do not believe I have a choice for what I am about to say." She closed her eyes, then took a deep breath before opening them. "While you are recovering, you will do nothing that you believe will make me angry or scared or cause me to worry further about you. You will do the things that are required for your body to heal. Do you understand?"

  I thought about what she had said. "You put a time limit on the order. Why?"

  "Because contrary to your belief, I am not trying to turn you into a mindless puppet."

  "I will behave," I said. "For now."

  She smiled. "Thank you. I'll get your pills. Are you hungry?"

  "Yes, and I have to use the bathroom."

  "Pills first, then bathroom, then once you're settled, I'll make us an early lunch. You'll probably sleep, though."

  "Thank you," I told her.

  She backed away and left the room. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the pain in my wrists. She was back a few moments later holding pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other. The glass was made of plastic.

  "If you care, I prefer glass glasses. I think the plastic tastes funny."

  "This is a short term rental, and this is what we have." She eyed me. "I didn't pick it because I am keeping glass from you."

  I reached for the pills, but my hands weren't working as well as I would have liked.

  "Let me," she said. "Your hands will be fine; you didn't sever the tendons, but you nicked them a little. Open up."

  I opened my mouth, and she popped two pills onto my tongue, then she held the glass of water while I drank. She didn't throw the pills in the same way I would have, so it took extra water to wash them down. I made gagging noises after swallowing the pills.

  "Are you all right?" she asked in alarm.

  "They taste terrible," I said. "Blech." Then I looked up at her. "I'm fine. Thank you."

  "Ready for the bathroom?"

  I nodded. She helped me climb from the bed. I was wearing a pair of silk pajamas. They were nice. I fingered them.

  "They're mine," she said. "They're a tiny bit long on you; I rolled the pant cuffs up. I wanted you to be comfortable. I don't know how you normally sleep, but I love the feel of silk. I thought perhaps you might, too."

  I looked at her. That had been a kind gesture.

  "They look new," I said.

  "They are," she said. "I arrived in Madison with little more than the clothes on my back."

  "There's a story there."

  "Yes. But not for today."

  She helped me from the bed. I stood up, woozy, and she helped me into the bathroom.

  "I should still be in the hospital," I said.

  "Yes, but I didn't want to deal with more people trying to interfere. Put your arms around my neck and steady yourself."

  I did what she ordered. She slipped her fingers inside the waistband of the pajamas and lowered them around my knees. Then she lowered me to the toilet.

  "I will step outside. I do not want you standing up on your own. Call me when you're ready for me to help you."

  "This is embarrassing," I said.

  "Yes," she said. "I imagine it is. But this is your fault, not mine."

  "I know," I said. "Are you going to punish me?"

  "No," she said. "This was your one freebie."

  She stepped out of the room and closed the door. I took my time then called her back in. She helped me stand, pulled the pajamas back up, then steadied me while I washed up at the sink. She helped me brush my teeth, which made my mouth taste better, and then helped me back to the bed. She gave me enough pillows I could largely sit up but still rest completely.

  She smiled. "What would you like? Books? Magazines? Television?"

  "Sleepy," I said.

  "That's the drugs," she said. "Sleep then. But you need to eat, so I'll wake you when it's ready."

  I closed my eyes.

  "Moira," she said. "You will remain in bed until you have permission to get up."

  "Yes, Arianna," I said. I opened my eyes and looked at her. "That order wasn't necessary. You already ordered me to do what was required to heal."

  "Maybe, but you scared me. And now I will be cautious. You may rest, and I will be back in a while. If you call, I will hear you."

  * * * *

  Arianna spent the next three days nursing me back to health. She went out for several hours Tuesday evening, leaving me in Neal's care, giving me very carefully worded orders to remain in bed. Neal had videos, but I slept through most of them. When she returned, Arianna's aura was pulsing, and I thought perhaps she was high.

  She sent Neal to the other room and sat on the bed next to me.

  "Do you do drugs?" I asked her.

  She laughed happily. "No. What I did were four college girls."

  I was instantly jealous. I turned away from her. Then I hated myself for being jealous.

  "Oh," she said. "Hey. Moira."

  "Go away," I told her.

  "No," she said. "Don't be jealous."

  "I'm not-" I tried to tell her I wasn't jealous, but the words stopped. "Damn it. Yes, I'm jealous. Go away."

  "I needed their passion," she said. "That's all it was for me. I needed to refill. On my own, it would take me a couple of weeks. I don't like being that empty. It's dangerous."

  I turned to face her. "So you, what? Seduced them? Did to them the kinds of things you did to me?"

  "Not exactly," she said. "I let one of them seduce me, but then convinced her we should make a party of it."

  "And then what?"

  "They took me back to their place."

  "Their place?"

  "They are renting a cottage near the lake."

&nb
sp; "Then what?"

  "You know what, Moira."

  "Did you give them orgasms?"

  "I helped them give each other orgasms."

  "Did you kiss them?"

  "Yes."

  "Did you have an orgasm?"

  She didn't answer, and I turned away again. "Get out."

  "Moira, don't be like this. It's not my fault where my magic comes from."

  "Does your magic require you to have an orgasm?"

  "No," she said in a small voice.

  "Get out," I ordered again.

  "Moira," she said. "What if we come to a compromise?"

  I turned back to look at her, raising an eyebrow. "In the future, I will take my orgasms from no one except you," she offered.

  She looked at me hopefully.

  "Get them wherever you want, except from me," I told her. "Touching me is still rape."

  She sighed.

  I narrowed my eyes for a moment then said, "Go take a shower. You probably smell like them. Brush your teeth, too. Four times. Then I need my pills. But I don't want you touching me or my pills with hands that have been touching anyone else."

  * * * *

  By Wednesday afternoon, I was allowed to freely move around the cottage if I promised to be cautious. "No stairs and stay inside," Arianna ordered. After dinner, she sat down on the sofa next to me.

  "I am going out again."

  "I thought you filled up last night. Did you use it up?"

  "No." She paused. "I am going to give most of it to you."

  "I don't want it. I don't want any magic that came from those sluts."

  "They weren't sluts," she said. "They were nice girls. And I promise, it is all my magic now. If I'd given it to you immediately upon taking it, you would have tasted them in the magic, but by the time I got home, it would only have tasted like me."

  "Tasted."

  "It's the only word I have," she said.

  "Why do you want to give it to me?"

  "For the ritual."

  "The making-me-your-slave-familiar ritual?"

  "Not slave," she corrected. "But yes. You need to start the ritual full to the brim. Full to the brim now, as an unclaimed familiar, is far less than you'll be able to hold once the ritual is completed."

  "When are we doing the ritual?" I asked.

  "I'm not sure. It depends on how you're feeling, and how much magic it takes to fill you. Maybe Saturday. I'll be able to answer better when I give you the magic I have now."