Starstruck

by Rachel Schurig

  “What is your problem?”

  “This is a bad idea.” She was breathing heavily. “You don’t know him, Sofie. You don’t know what these people are like.”

  “No, Lizzie! Maybe you don’t know him!” I stood, too angry to be still, and started pacing the room. “You’ve always been so judgmental of Thomas’s co-stars. Do you think that’s any different from the way the rest of the family saw Thomas?”

  “But I know Jackson!” she cried. “That’s the difference. I’m not just making a judgment without any interaction with him.”

  “So my interaction with him should just be null and void? I should just trust that you know him better and ignore what I can see with my own eyes? What I can feel when I’m with him?”

  “I just don’t want you getting hurt! You’ve already been through so much.”

  “I’m a grown woman!” I was practically shouting now, but I didn’t care. I was so, so tired of being treated this way, like I was a little kid, too young and stupid to make my own choices. My parents had been doing this my entire life. My sister, my cousins, even Jim acted like I couldn’t possibly make up my own mind. Now Lizzie was going to pull this crap?

  “And you have a crush on him,” she said, her voice strained but calm. “You told me that at Christmas. I just don’t want to see you get used, the way I’ve seen him use other girls.”

  “This isn’t about any crush,” I argued, tamping down the part of my brain that called bullshit on that. “It’s about an opportunity for me and for Beth. To save some money, to have some experiences that don’t revolve around this house and this town. I would have thought that you, of all people, would have understood that.”

  “I do! I’m just saying…” She sounded close to tears, and I knew she could sense that she had pushed too far, that I was seriously, seriously angry at her. “If you want to get your feet into the entertainment industry, come and work for Thomas! They’re always looking for help in his agent’s office, and you can stay here and—”

  “You don’t get it at all.” I couldn’t believe that after everything I had told her about needing independence, about wanting to find my own way, she was still suggesting I go to work for Thomas, live in his house, and rely on his generosity, instead of taking a job with Jackson. Because she doesn’t trust you not to make a mess of it, I thought. She thinks you’ll chase after him like some lovesick teenager and get your heart broken. That’s what she thinks of you.

  “I’m done with this conversation,” I told her, voice shaking. “I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet. But I am going to decide for myself.”

  “Sofie, I’m sorry. Please don’t hang up. I got a little out of control, okay, but it’s just because I care about—”

  “You know,” I interrupted, close to tears. “When you wanted to leave home, I supported you. When half your family cut you off for your choices, I supported you. Even when I thought you might be making a mistake. Even when I couldn’t understand it. I was there for you, Lizzie. I trusted you to take care of yourself. I can’t believe after everything that’s happened, you can’t do the same for me.”

  “Sofie!”

  But I was already hanging up, too angry and frustrated to listen to another word. She called back immediately, but I put the phone on silent. When she followed that up with a text, I turned the phone off entirely.

  From the baby monitor on my dresser, I heard Beth whimper. I stilled my pacing, waiting to see if she was really waking up or not. Another whimper, louder this time. Then a pitiful little cry.

  Good job, I thought to myself as I walked to the nursery. Wake up the baby with your shouting. Way to prove you’re responsible.

  “Hey, little love,” I said softly as I entered the darkened room. She was still half asleep, crying and kicking her little jammie-clad legs. I swooped her up and held her close to me, trying to calm my still-agitated breathing. “You’re fine. Mama’s here. Everything is fine.”

  It was amazing the way she could calm me down, the way I could calm her in return. She snuggled right into me, instantly ceasing her whimpers, and I rubbed her back over and over. “Everything is fine.”

  “How’s it going?”

  I looked up to see my sister, Carla, standing in the doorway and very nearly cursed, baby in my arms or not.

  “Did she seriously call you over here to talk to me?” I hissed in a whisper. “Over a job offer?”

  “Calm down. I was coming for dinner anyhow.”

  “She is unbelievable.”

  Beth wiggled in my arms, and I stopped talking. I was just going to get upset and raise my voice, and neither one of us needed that. “She needs to eat,” I told my sister, taking a seat in the rocking chair. “I’ll come down later.”

  “How about I keep you company instead?”

  “Fine.”

  She sat down on the carpet, pulling her knees up to her chest as she leaned against Beth’s changing table, and I began nursing. “So. You and Mama really threw down, huh?”

  “She thinks I’m a little kid.” And she’s not the only one, I thought bitterly, thinking of Lizzie.

  “She has zero concept of grownup children,” Carla said. “She was the same way when I got pregnant the first time. She seriously tried to get me to move back home so she could cook all my meals for me.”

  I gaped at her across the dark room. “She did not.”

  Carla snickered. “I swear to you. So, no. It really doesn’t surprise me at all that she’s freaking out about the possibility of you going to work for some movie star on the other side of the country.”

  “He’s going to be living here. That’s the whole point.”

  “And she just watched her niece follow an actor across an ocean. She’s scared.”

  “I’m not moving to London!”

  Carla shrugged. “It’s hard for her not to see it that way.”

  I scowled at her. “So you’re here to take her side. To excuse her behavior to me? I get it, Car—”

  “Absolutely not,” she interrupted. “I think you should take it.”

  That caught me up short. “You do?”

  “Of course I do! You’d be crazy not to take it. Sofie, this is Jackson Coles. He’s completely gorgeous. He’s nice. He came to the hospital when Beth was born! How many movie stars would do something like that?”

  “I doubt very many.”

  She pointed at me. “Exactly. He would obviously be a great boss, a nice guy like that. And you’d get to work on a movie set. I mean, how cool is that?”

  In spite of the arguments of the last hour, I found myself grinning at her. Since the moment I’d walked in the house, I hadn’t really let myself think too much about the glamour aspect of all.

  “You would probably get to meet other celebrities,” she was saying, sitting up a little straighter and waving her hands around the way she always did when she got excited about something. “And did Mom say something about travel?” When I nodded, she sighed dreamily. “I read that he has a private jet. That’s awesome. This is like, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Sofie.”

  “He wants me to come to L.A. next week,” I told her, enjoying the way her jaw dropped. “To learn the ropes from his old PA while he goes to meetings and stuff.”

  “He would pay you to go to L.A.? On a private plane? Damn, Sofie. If you don’t want to take the job, tell him I’ll do it.”

  We both laughed quietly, not wanting to disturb Beth who was making every effort to fall back to sleep in my arms.

  “I would have to leave Beth home,” I said, my stomach dropping at the thought. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Hell, I don’t know if Mamma would even watch her at this point.”

  “When is this?” she asked, sitting up straighter.

  “Next Thursday. We would leave in the morning and come back Sunday.”

  She clapped her hands softly. “Sof, that’s perfect! Juan goes out of town for work on Friday. I was already thinking that I might bring the kids over
here for the weekend. It’s so much harder when he’s gone overnight. I could totally help Mama watch Beth.”

  “You would do that?”

  I couldn’t quite see in the darkness, but I thought she might be rolling her eyes at me. “Of course I would. I miss having a baby around. I would love to watch her. And Mama can help me with Gloria and Manuel. It would work out perfectly.”

  “Carla…that’s really… Wow. That’s really nice of you.”

  She slid across the floor until she was kneeling right by the chair. “You have to try, Sof. Maybe you’ll hate it. Maybe it won’t be the job for you. But if you don’t at least give it a shot, you’ll never know.”

  “You’re right.” I looked down at Beth, rubbing the super-soft peach fuzz on the side of her face. She needed me to do everything I could to provide a better life for her. What if this was my chance to do that?

  “Good,” Carla said, standing up and brushing off the back of her jeans. “I’m going to go help Mama with dinner. You’ll be down?”

  “If you can convince her not to talk about Jackson,” I muttered.

  She snickered. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  After she left, I watched Beth for a long time. She wasn’t really eating anymore. Every once in a while, a little snore would escape. I hated the thought of leaving her, even for three days. And there was a part of me that was scared Lizzie might be right, that I couldn’t control myself around Jackson.

  You can do it if it’s for Beth, I told myself. She was way more important to me than some actor, Jackson Coles or not. If she needed me to be professional and keep my hands to myself, of course I could do it.

  I switched her to my other arm as I readjusted the top of my dress before standing. “You’re coming downstairs with me, asleep or not,” I told her. “Grandma won’t yell if you’re there.” I kissed the top of her head. “Yes, baby. Mommy is totally using you for protection.”

  I stopped in my room to change into something more comfortable before dinner, setting the still-sleeping Beth in her bassinet. Once I was in my jeans and a T-shirt, I picked up the phone warily and switched it back on. There were three more missed calls from Lizzie. I would call her eventually, but I wasn’t ready yet. She had really hurt my feelings. What I had said about supporting her in all her choices was completely true. She had never judged me for getting pregnant, had even let me come and stay with her. Was it too much to ask that she not judge me now?

  Before I slipped the phone into my pocket, the text alert sounded. But it wasn’t Lizzie again. It was Jackson.

  I picked a place to live!

  I quickly typed out a response. Which one?

  Condo in Royal Oak.

  I frowned at the phone. That was not what I was expecting him to say. He’d seemed to like the Book Cadillac a whole lot more. And it seemed to fit him better. It was much grander than the smaller condo in Royal Oak. Much more Jackson.

  Good choice, I texted back. You’ll love Royal Oak.

  His response was nearly immediate. You’ll still help me pick out a piece to make it feel like home, right? Even if you decide not to take the job?

  I smiled. Of course.

  Good.

  There was a slight pause and then another text. So, speaking about the job… Any thoughts?

  I took a deep breath, staring down at the blinking curser of the text screen. “Oh, what the hell,” I muttered, tapping at the phone.

  I’ll come to LA and we can go from there.

  Really??!!

  I smiled. Really. Hey, I thought you were a confident man? Didn’t you already know I was going to say yes?

  I’m a good actor.

  “Sof?” Carla called softly from downstairs. “Food’s ready.”

  I’ll call you tomorrow to go over details, okay?

  Absolutely. You’re making the right choice.

  I clutched the phone, wishing I could be as sure. We’ll just see how LA goes.

  It’s going to be great, he wrote. I know it. I have a good feeling about this.

  I slipped the phone into my pocket and gently lifted Beth from the bassinet. “Let’s get this over with,” I whispered, kissing the side of her sleeping face.

  But even my nerves about telling my parents my decision couldn’t dampen the bud of anticipation unfurling in my chest. I didn’t know what would happen in L.A., couldn’t agree with Jackson that it would definitely be great. But I did know it was going to be an experience. And I couldn’t help but be excited for that.

  Chapter Five

  I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to get into the car Jackson sent until it actually arrived at the house. Even then, I eyed it warily through the front window. Could I really do this? Should I do it?

  If Beth had been awake at that moment, I might not have. But she was sleeping soundly in her bassinet, content and full. “She’ll be fine,” Carla told me, for the hundredth time since she arrived that morning. “It’s only a few nights.”

  “I’ve never spent a single night away from her.”

  My older sister placed a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll take great care of her.”

  “I know. I just… I’ll miss her.” It seemed silly to say out loud. It was only for a few days. Surely, not long enough to miss someone.

  Yeah. Right.

  “You’re doing this for her,” Carla said, bringing her hand around to my other shoulder and drawing me into her side. I allowed myself to nestle into her a little, the way I had when I was a kid, and she squeezed me. “This is a great opportunity for you. And it will help Beth in the long run.”

  “Will you tell Mom that?” I muttered, and she smiled sympathetically.

  “I have been, little sister. And I will continue to do so.”

  The car out front beeped again and I sighed. “Just go,” Carla said, pushing me gently toward the door. “Don’t even look at her.”

  But of course, I couldn’t do that. I opened the front door and waved at the driver before ducking back inside to lean over the bassinet one more time, taking in every inch of her sweet little face, long eyelashes splayed over soft pink cheeks, lips puckered up in her typical sleeping expression. She was gorgeous. What was I going to do without her for three days?

  “Go on,” Carla urged. “You’ll be home before you know it.”

  If it had been my mom and dad seeing me out, I probably would have stayed. But Carla looked so genuinely excited for me, seemed so convinced that I was doing the right thing, that I grabbed my bag from its spot near the door and headed out of the house, determined not to look back.

  I missed my baby the second I got into the car. But Carla had expected as much—my phone beeped as we pulled away from the curb. I’m proud of you, the text from my sister read. Enjoy the change of scenery, work hard, and come home rested and ready to be an even better mommy. I smiled down at the text, feeling strangely emotional. She really was a good big sister. Another beep. And get some sun, for heaven’s sake. Enough for both of us.

  I smiled through wet eyes, finally feeling ready to commit to this experience.

  The drive to the airport took less than an hour, and I spent most of that time flipping through gossip magazines, my favorite way to keep from stressing. The irony of reading celebrity magazines on my way to hang out with a celebrity for three days was not lost on me.

  I only texted Carla to check on Beth twice before we reached the airport. I was rather proud of myself.

  I had flown a few times in my life—to visit Lizzie in London, to help her dress shop in New York, and to the wedding last fall. Thomas had arranged first-class seats on those occasions, and the experience was pretty amazing. But as the driver pulled off from the main terminal traffic to access the private aircraft terminal, I had a feeling this experience was going to be a million times more extravagant.

  Jackson was waiting outside of the small terminal building. The relief was clear on his face as I climbed out of the car and made my way over to him. “I wasn’t sure you’d make it,�
� he admitted.

  “I wasn’t sure I would, either.”

  He bent down a little to look into my face. “Are you okay?”

  “It was a little tough leaving her.” Damn it—my voice cracked. How completely ridiculous I must seem.

  But Jackson merely wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine.”

  I shook myself a little. “I’m just being silly.”

  He squeezed my shoulder. “Never call your feelings silly, Sofie. Especially not where Beth is concerned.”

  I nodded and followed him into the terminal. There were three other people waiting there—a woman and two men. The men were burly and sullen looking, dark glasses covering their eyes. Security, I thought to myself. The woman, on the other hand, was cheery looking. And drop-dead gorgeous.

  “Hiya!” she said, her accent undeniably British—and incredibly bright. She flipped her long, perfectly straight blonde hair behind her shoulder. “You must be Sofie. I’m Sonja.”

  “Hello, Sonja. It’s nice to meet you.” I moved to shake her hand, but she swooped in and kissed my cheek instead.

  “I’ve heard so much about you! It’s fab to finally meet.”

  “Uh, yeah. Fab.”

  I cast a quick look at Jackson, who had released me as soon as Sonja approached. So this was his former PA? She could have gotten a job as a life-sized Barbie with that figure and her perfect blonde hair. I wondered if he’d hired her for professional or aesthetic reasons. And then, I wondered if they’d ever been more than work colleagues. The thought made me feel slightly nauseated.

  Jackson introduced the security guards as Bill and Hector. They both nodded in my direction, not taking their sunglasses off, and I wondered if looking scary was a prerequisite for their job.

  “I think they’re ready for us,” Sonja was saying, nodding toward the floor-to-ceiling glass windows. For the first time, I noticed the jet on the tarmac. It was sleek and much larger than I anticipated. I felt a little rush—of excitement or fear, I couldn’t tell—but there was no time to examine it as Jackson had placed a hand at my elbow and was leading me out the door.