Always Red

by Isabelle Ronin

  I ran home, feeling excited to tell Mommy about my day. Maybe we could pick flowers from the garden again tomorrow. She had such pretty vases we could put them in. I pushed the screen door open, clutching my half-eaten sandwich. I didn’t want to eat it all. I wanted to save it. Because if I ate it all, then how could I be sure the boy with the green eyes was real and wasn’t just a dream? I finally had a friend, and I was happy. Very happy.

  “Hello, Veronica.”

  My body filled with dread, and the sandwich fell from my hand.

  The monster was back. It looked like Daddy, but I knew it wasn’t. Daddy didn’t have those eyes that looked at you like he wanted to hurt you. Daddy was good and never hurt me or Mommy.

  “What is this?” The monster picked up the half-eaten sandwich from the floor. He sniffed it, his eyes widening in disbelief. “Where the fuck did you get this?”

  The monster grabbed my arm, and I cried out in pain. It hurt so much. Tears pricked my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. The monster hated tears. If I cried, it would only hurt me more.

  “You’ve been a bad girl. Do you know what happens to bad girls?”

  I stared at him, frozen with terror. I wanted to run, but my body wouldn’t move.

  “Dom! Leave her alone!”

  It was Mommy. The monster shoved me away and lunged at her. I watched helplessly as he dragged her to the kitchen by her hair.

  “Please don’t!” Mommy cried out.

  With a quick swipe of his arm, he sent the vase flying off the table, and it shattered on the floor. The flowers that Mommy and I had picked from our garden were broken now.

  The monster was still holding Mommy by the hair as he opened cupboards, grabbing everything that Mommy and I had carefully arranged and throwing it everywhere.

  “Where the fuck is it? I told you not to buy it. Simple rules, Tanya, but you can’t even do them right, can you? You useless piece of shit.”

  “How could you talk about rules? I saw you with your woman yesterday.”

  That made the monster angrier, and it threw Mommy on the floor. Right where the broken glass was. Mommy cried out in pain. And then she looked at me with frightened eyes and mouthed, Hide!

  I ran to the laundry room, hiding under the sink and pushing my palms against my ears so I didn’t hear anything.

  But I heard Mommy screaming, and inside my head, I was doing the same.

  No, no, no. Please don’t. I won’t ever eat peanut butter again. I won’t ever…

  And then Mommy stopped screaming.

  I won’t eat it again. I promise. Don’t hurt Mommy.

  My eyes were wide with terror as I watched the cupboard door open. The monster’s face was wild with madness as it grinned at me. “There you are.”

  * * *

  “Veronica! Wake up!”

  I opened my eyes, panting. Kara knelt beside me, her face pinched with worry as she shook me awake.

  “Jesus. What were you dreaming about?”

  Bile rose in my throat, and I scrambled up and ran to the bathroom. I knelt in front of the toilet and threw up. I shut my eyes.

  No. I don’t want to remember. I can’t remember…

  I went to the sink and washed my mouth and face, willing myself to forget it. The nightmare was already fading away.

  “If I didn’t know you guys haven’t had sex, I’d say you’re preggers.”

  I sent Kara a grateful look as she tried to lighten the mood. Her eyes lingered on my face, searching. I turned my gaze from hers, hoping she wouldn’t probe for answers I wasn’t ready to give.

  “I wasn’t sure if you were coming home tonight, so I picked up chow mein and veggie spring rolls. There’s enough to share,” she said. I could still feel her eyes on me. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”

  I nodded. I waited until she was gone before I closed the bathroom door. I leaned my back against the door and slid to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest and burrowing my face in my hands.

  The nightmares were back.

  I didn’t want to be the scared, helpless little girl who was afraid of the dark. I wasn’t that girl anymore.

  I let myself relax, taking deep breaths. I knew the scene I’d witnessed on campus today triggered the nightmare. The scene where Caleb let violence consume him. It had scared me to see him beat Justin that savagely. I had seen Caleb fight before, with Damon, but it was nothing like the rage he’d released when he had Justin by the throat…

  Don’t worry, Red. I’m going to protect you.

  Oh, Caleb.

  He made me feel safe, cherished…loved. Even when I pushed him away, he never stopped loving me.

  That moment in the multipurpose room, when I thought he was going to kill Justin, I’d called out his name. And he came back. He came back for me. He didn’t cause pain just because he could or because he got off on it… He did it to protect me. Because…because he loved me. He wasn’t like the monster in my childhood. He wasn’t like my dad.

  I got up from the floor and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My face was pale, and dark circles hung under my eyes. I brushed my teeth quickly and washed my face again.

  I was going to eat a goddamn peanut butter sandwich.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Caleb

  Patience has never been one of my best traits.

  I stood by the window, my hands in my pocket, jiggling my car keys. I wanted to go home to Red. Preferably now.

  I’d just arrived at Matthew’s place. Cameron and some of the team had helped me go back to the campus to find and destroy those damned posters. There weren’t any more. Thank God.

  Justin needed to start praying and offer a couple sacrifices to save his neck if he tried hurting my Red again. I was sure I would do more than choke him if he did.

  I glanced at my watch and noted that it was almost two hours since I’d left Red.

  “I gotta go,” I said.

  Levi tried to raise his chin from his chest to look at me. He was clearly drunk. He had stayed behind with a couple other guys at Matthew’s place to make sure there weren’t any of those damned posters online. After all was clear, he and the other guys had decided to make it their life mission to finish two bottles of scotch from Matthew’s father’s liquor cabinet. Empty beer bottles and boxes of pizza littered the floor.

  The other guys had already left before I arrived. I found Levi slumped in one of the chairs. Matthew was sprawled on the couch, his eyes zoned in on the TV screen. He was watching The Avengers.

  “Do me a favor, dude. Bring this sack of limp biscuit with you,” Matthew pleaded, throwing Levi a disgusted look.

  I tamped down my impatience. I wanted to go straight to Kara’s place to pick up Red.

  Before Red had slipped out of my car, some emotion had flashed in her eyes that I couldn’t decipher. It made me uneasy. I wanted to make sure everything was all right.

  We’d just gotten back together. I didn’t want to lose her again. If I lost her again, I would… I didn’t know what I would do.

  My eyes narrowed as I spotted a yellow truck pass by Matthew’s place. It looked like Justin’s truck.

  “Does Justin know we were meeting at your place?” I asked.

  “Hell no,” Matthew answered. “What makes you say that?”

  I grunted as I watched the yellow truck disappear and forced myself to relax. “All right. Let’s go, Levi.”

  “What? Did you say boner?” He hiccupped.

  Matthew choked. “Yeah, dude. Something you wouldn’t know about.”

  I shook my head as I hauled Levi up from the couch. He was hammered.

  “If you throw up in my car, I’m going to leave you on the side of the road,” I warned.

  “That sounds uh-mazing,” he slurred. “Why you carryin’ me? D’we get married or sumthin’?” He pu
ckered his lips and swung his head dangerously close to mine.

  I pushed him away, laughing. “Just stay away so nobody gets hurt. Got it?”

  “Hurt me, master. Whip me. You know I like it.”

  I heard Matthew’s roaring laughter before I closed the door and stepped outside.

  “Get in the car, dude. Seriously, I need to pick up my girl.”

  I opened the passenger door and shoved him inside, slamming the door closed. Just as I was putting on my seat belt, a police car slid into the spot behind me, red and blue lights flashing. I waited until both policemen had approached my side, then rolled down the window.

  “Good afternoon, Officers.”

  They both nodded. One officer looked like Popeye, while the other one looked as skinny as a pole. Popeye eyed Levi suspiciously.

  “Is this your house?” Officer Pole inquired, his face friendly and open.

  “No, sir. A friend’s.”

  “What were you doing here?” Popeye asked. If Pole was the good cop, Popeye was definitely the bad cop. His eyes narrowed as he studied my face.

  “Just visiting,” I replied.

  “Hey, say what, you guys got some doughnuts on you?” Levi piped up.

  I groaned.

  “Seems like your friend is drunk.”

  “I’m driving him home.”

  “Are you?” There was a challenge in Popeye’s tone.

  I gave him a nod.

  “I need to see your license and registration.”

  What the hell?

  “What the fuck for?” Levi interrupted.

  “Levi, shut up. Let me handle this.”

  “I’d buy you ten thousand boxes of doughnuts if you guys leave us the fuck alone,” Levi slurred.

  I gave him a warning glare, shaking my head slightly. When I was sure he’d gotten the message, I turned back to the officers.

  “Sorry about that. Is there a reason for this?” I asked.

  Pole answered, “We received a peace disturbance report about this residence.”

  “And that someone is dealing drugs,” Popeye added.

  I gritted my teeth. Justin.

  Levi let out a loud snort. “I could use some dope right now.”

  I closed my eyes tightly. Damned Levi.

  Popeye stepped back, his eyes hard. “We need to search the car. Please step out of your vehicle, sir.”

  I didn’t need this right now.

  “I have the right to refuse,” I said.

  “You do,” Popeye replied, smirking. “Sounds like you have something to hide.”

  I took a deep breath. “Go ahead and search then,” I told him as I slid out of the car.

  It took a while, but Levi managed to get out of the car. They asked us to step away from the vehicle and wait a few minutes. Levi slumped on the ground. I had a heavy feeling in my stomach as I watched them search my car.

  I knew the moment they found something. And I knew in the pit of my stomach that it was bad.

  It was really bad.

  Officer Popeye walked up to me. “Want to explain what this is?”

  He dangled a small bag filled with white powder in front of me.

  Fuck.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Veronica

  A few minutes after Cameron phoned Kara, he arrived to pick us up. I was thankful. We asked him what happened, but all he would say was that Caleb was unhurt, safe, and would explain everything later.

  Kara hounded him nonstop for more information, but he wouldn’t budge. He never gave in to her insults. In fact, he was smiling. I would have appreciated and paid more attention to their banter if I hadn’t been worried to death about what could have happened to Caleb.

  I wrung my hands during the trip to the station. Kara noticed and tried to lighten the mood.

  “By the way,” she chirped, “Caleb might take you to an exotic restaurant and feed you fried alfalfa sprouts.”

  “What?” I asked, distracted.

  “I gave him false information this morning when he asked me to spill the dirt on you. Just pretend everything I told him was legit until he gives me my payment, okay?”

  I nodded absently and heard Cameron’s quiet laugh.

  “Was it a Stella McCourtney gift card?” he muttered, chuckling.

  “Stella McCartney. You never get anything right, do you?” Kara glared, crossing her arms and turning to look out the window.

  “I did one thing right,” he replied after a moment, his voice solemn. I saw him glance at Kara longer than necessary.

  I blocked their conversation after that. It took forever, but we finally arrived at the station. Stomach rolling, I went inside with Kara and Cameron. Her hand squeezed mine as we saw the police officer standing behind a messy desk.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to wait in the car? I can bail him out by myself,” Cameron offered.

  Kara shot him a glare. “Are you saying that because we’re girls, we can’t handle something like this? That we’re weak?”

  I heard Cameron sigh. “Not at all. Come if you want.”

  “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”

  “Careful, Sunshine. Your words could draw blood,” Cameron warned.

  “Then I hope you bleed to death.”

  Cameron fell silent. I gave him an apologetic look.

  We approached the police officer’s desk. “We’d like to post bond for Caleb Lockhart,” I said, my voice shaky.

  “Can I see some ID?”

  “Oh. Of course.” My hands were shaking so badly that I nearly dropped my wallet as I searched for my ID.

  “Veronica, I’ll get the bail,” Cameron said. “Caleb won’t like it if you paid for it.”

  “Let him,” Kara added, touching my shoulder.

  I was distressed and exhausted enough not to argue. I nodded before turning to the officer. “I’d like to see him, please. Is he okay?”

  “Why don’t you wait in the lounge?”

  A few minutes later, the officer appeared again. “He’s in the interview room now, waiting for you. Follow me.”

  He led me through a door to the left, then to a narrow hallway with three rooms. He opened the door to his right and stepped back to let me in. There was a single table in the middle of the room and two chairs. Caleb was sitting on one, his elbows on his knees as he cupped his face in his hands. When I saw his wrist cuffed to a bolt, I nearly fell to my knees.

  Oh, Caleb, what have you done?

  Images of him hunting Justin with his teammates—or, worse, murdering him—flitted through my mind.

  “Caleb.”

  He looked up, his eyes wide with fatigue and worry. “Red.”

  My legs trembled as I approached him. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes. God.” He reached for me with his free hand, gathering me against him. “You’re all right. Thank God.”

  “What happened?” I turned to the officer. “Please, can we have some privacy?”

  “I’ll be outside.” The officer left us alone.

  “Did Cameron come with you?”

  “Yes, and Kar. Caleb, you’re scaring me.” I searched his face for any sign that he was hurt. Other than looking exhausted, he appeared uninjured. “What happened?”

  His face turned hard, cold. “They found drugs in my car.”

  Of all the reasons I would expect him to be in jail, drugs wasn’t one of them. My heart dropped to my stomach.

  “I was about to leave Matthew’s and give Levi a ride home. He’d been drinking. Two police officers arrived and said they had gotten a report about drug dealing at Matthew’s house. Then they asked to search my car. I let them because I had nothing to hide. But they found drugs.” His face mirrored his anger and frustration. “I don’t deal with drugs, Red. I would never do that
. Someone planted them.”

  A woman’s voice spoke from behind me. “Caleb?”

  Caleb looked over my shoulder. “Mom?”

  I had only seen Caleb’s mom once in person—when I waited for Caleb outside his door. She was more beautiful than I remembered, dressed elegantly in a conservative blue dress. Her worried eyes studied her son’s face as she walked to him, a police officer trailing behind her. She looked like Caleb, with bronze hair and stunning green eyes.

  “I had to hear about this from Beatrice-Rose. Why didn’t you call me?”

  Beatrice-Rose? How did she know that Caleb was in jail?

  “I didn’t want to worry you. Mom, this is Red. Red, this is my mom, Miranda. This isn’t how I planned for you to meet my future wife, Mom.”

  I pressed my lips tightly together to keep from groaning. I should have been used to Caleb’s bombshells by now…

  She ignored me. “Is this why you’ve been getting into fistfights? Missing a week in school right before your finals? You’re graduating. And now you’re in jail?”

  Her eyes turned to me briefly, and I caught the warning in them.

  I felt sick.

  Caleb observed the exchange between his mom and me. His green eyes were anxious as they studied me. I willed my face to look blank, empty, but inside, I felt nauseated.

  She turned to the officer. “Release my son.”

  The officer obliged her. The rattle of the metal handcuff grated in my ears. I could feel the pulse in my temple begin to throb.

  “I’ve spoken with the chief of police,” she announced, reprimand and disappointment in her voice. “There will be no record of this. Caleb, how could you let this happen?” Her voice cracked and she paused. “I already told your friends to go home, so I will expect to see you in your apartment with a reasonable explanation in half an hour.”

  Although her face was stoic, her hand shook as she reached out to touch her son’s face. “You’ve frightened me. When will you ever learn, Cal?” I could feel the worry and fear in her voice, and the strong love she had for Caleb.

  Caleb stood and wrapped her in his arms, murmuring in her ear. I stepped aside to give them more room. He was talking too softly for me to hear, but his mom nodded. I felt like a trespasser. She kissed him on the cheek and then turned and left with the officer—without glancing at me.