Minutegirls

by George Phillies

  "And those are?" Beyerlein asked.

  "The Felifers matched the Gisbures offer. They suggested to the President that a readjustment of the New Union Pact might be constructive." Rohan smiled. "Most of the same procedures were proposed. However, the rearrangement this time proceeded on rational lines, so that the parties that naturally should lead all of Europe in the most logical and efficient manner are set into enhanced leadership roles. With two conditions: We agree to help the Felifers educate the Bludjnappe. We promise that the Felifers need not fight the Americans again soon."

  "Americans?" Beyerlein asked. Someday, he thought, that manner would be described as efficient and logical, not the irrational reverse order.

  "Our Felifer friends, says the rumor, have accorded the Americans the accolade 'Enemy Worthy of Great Respect'. This relates to the outcome of the battle of this summer. They also had a few observation ships that they neglected to mention to their Gisbures friends involved in the battle, and were impressed. The status ‘Enemy Worthy of Great Respect’ relocates the Americans very substantially upward in the Felifer Hierarchy, below the Spiders but above the Spider Allies," Rohan explained.

  "The Spider Allies, of which we know rather little except that there are three of them. Or perhaps five. While in contrast we have a much more powerful Alliance of 400 or so species, which somehow never seems to make the forward progress that one would anticipate," Beyerlein said. "Though a vigorous but discrete program of contacting more and more of these allies directly, which I have launched purely to improve our intelligence situation, seems to supply a reason, namely that the Hub, the Spiders and their Allies, control truly huge regions of space, much larger than we had previously suspected. However, if the recent Felifer proposals are representative of the entire Alliance, one can begin to imagine why else the Alliance does so poorly. It spends more time fighting itself than fighting the Hub. There is no alternative as to the appropriate action. The Alliance needs to be given efficient and logical guidance over its activities."

  "I gather that the President and Chancellor are considering the issues. For better or worse, the President is a scholar of classical history, and has expressed a desire to assign a new set of tasks to StarFleet Europa and its intelligence branch." Rohan sounded less than completely pleased.

  "New tasks?" Beyerlein asked.

  "Apparently the President concludes that we are the only service branch with the independence and initiative needed to carry out the required efforts. The Chancellor agreed," Rohan said. The President had made it sound like a compliment. The Chancellor had nodded in agreement. "Noting the failure of the American operation, the President wants us to increase Union resources through activities elsewhere in the world."

  "Such a rumor," Beyerlein said, nibbling at his next croissant.

  "The question, which when we meet I will pass on to you to consider, is where?" Rohan asked. "After the Azores Temporary Truce, most of South and Central America emulated the Americans, and withdrew behind their own Zone of Restriction, a Zone barring investment and trade, a Zone difficult to pierce effectively without another American War, an event the President most definitely does not want. The Americas are out. What is the situation in Africa? Anything new?"

  "They have spent two centuries imploding in population, much like pre-medieval Europe in many ways." Beyerlein said. "The collapse of natural resource prices after the American Debacle was the last straw. There are local areas with some remarkable cooperative arrangements. We, of course, pacified North Africa after the North Arabian Terminal War, to keep refugees off our backs."

  "The Chancellor looked dimly on proposals to penetrate Kurdistan," Rohan noted. "His family has clear memories of events before points south of Turkey were stabilized. South and west of Kurdistan -- I suppose it was generous of our ancestors to create an area of the planet suitable for testing heavy-duty nuclear-radiological-biological protective gear -- a shame they hadn't made it smaller. Though there are many habitable patches in the desert peninsula."

  "I conclude the President has ideas about South and East Asia," Beyerlein said. "Despite the regular and unpleasant outcome each time we have attempted to civilize an area, namely that the area's neighbors decline to sit idly by until it is their turn to be civilized."

  "Precisely," Rohan answered. "Last time we sent a massive army, with as much air support as could be risked without American intervention. And at the end there were Peking, Guangdong, and Hong Kong military units fighting shoulder to shoulder. On the undesirable side."

  "If we were meeting," Beyerlein ostentatiously sipped at his cocoa, "I would have to suggest that public reaction after the last effort was so bad, and memories are still so fresh, that repeating this approach would be inauspicious."

  "The President feels that the Third Battle of the Gobi was a repeat of Marathon. A conclusive defeat," Rohan explained.

  "Wasn't Marathon a victory?" asked Beyerlein.

  "The President assigns to us the role of the Persians. And then notes that in the generation after Marathon the Persians marched toward victory, not by fighting the Greeks, but by paying the Greeks to fight each other. He wishes us to attempt the same," Rohan said. "I gather that the Pekingese are expected to be relatively cheap."

  "Paying people to fight each other? Are there rumors of the Chancellor's response?" Beyerlein asked.

  "Sympathetic," Rohan answered. "We are to play Aryan Persia to the Asian Greeks. The recent Chinese loss of their deep tunnels, or many of them, has refocused their thinking. They have now lost all their approaches into Manchuria. The Chancellor was more concerned about people fighting each other here in Europe. He feels demos about the recent events at Alpha Centauri are getting to be a bit much."

  "If we had finished breakfast, I would report that was an internal matter for which the Union Confidential Police are responsible," Beyerlein said, reaching for another croissant. "Complicated by the American propaganda broadcasts showing our fleets being smashed, a claim that is difficult to refute without telling the public whose ships were being lost. Telling the public that it was a Gisbures fleet reveals to the public that the Gisbures exist. However, in northern Europe matters reached a stage where Fleet morale was potentially affected. There are rumors -- and I mean real rumors -- that the Americans are helping things along. Assuredly, demonstrators in different cities have shown inexplicable levels of communication. We are not America, where the government foolishly lets its citizens own unbreakable codes. The UCP reads every bit of mail -- but finds nothing out of the ordinary."

  "Fortunately, this is a problem we can legitimately pass along," Rohan said, "though it appears that over the next year or two there will necessarily be a much wider knowledge of our relations with the Alliance. We must see how to turn this to the Fleet’s advantage. Please pass the chocolate."

  SUPREME COMMAND CONFERENCE HALL

  HEADQUARTER, PLA GENERAL STAFF

  PEKING, CHINA

  0630 HOURS CT 21 SEPTEMBER 2176

  "This is beyond disastrous," Marshal Tsien announced to his staff. He was too angry to raise his voice. "Fifteen years of subterranean work are gone. First those incompetents botched overborder attacks. Then Americans found our overground bases. Now the tunnel-linked underground bases all got found! This is incomprehensible." The Marshal's snarl made his subordinates blood run cold.

  "Xiu! What happened? Report!" The Marshal's hands shook.

  "At once, Comrade Marshal!" Marshal Xiu snapped to attention. "We have tapes of buried bases being overrun. All at once, the Americans attacked."

  "How did the American dogs find them?" Tsien interrupted.

  "The bases were totally buried. It is as though they knew where to go without looking," Xiu answered.

  "That is totally ridiculous! You think they can find bases by geomancy and divining? You are spouting counter-revolutionary insanity, you..." Marshal Tsien shrieked.

  ""Because someone told them where to look!" Marshal Xiu shouted back. "Someone who had
complete access to every base record."

  "That requires a spy --- that is impossible! Only two men could access all the lists. Myself, and Chairman Fu himself." Marshal Tsien caught his breath. "There is some explanation! What is it? When I find it...!"

  Tsien and Xiu, faces a few inches apart, began screaming at each other.

  The doors of the room smashed open, driven by the feet of four Red Guard People's Revolutionary Marines in heavy power armor. Another half-dozen Marines, also in power armor with drawn weapons, followed in a wedge. Centered in the wedge was Marshal Wu, her hands clasped and folded into the puffy sleeves of her peasant jacket.

  “Marshal Wu? Where have you been?" shouted Tsien. "Your attendance here this morning was mandatory! Revolutionary justice requires..."

  "The Revolution required I meet this morning with the Party Special Defense Committee," Wu said, her voice scarcely raised. "Comrade Marshal of the Revolution Xiu, you played your role excellently."

  "This is gross insubordination!" Tsien barked. "You may command the People's Glorious Counter-Revolution Defense Corps, but only I am privileged to meet with the Defense Committee."

  "Tsien, you are being silly, and wasting our valuable time," Wu said quietly.

  "That is Comrade Supreme Marshal Tsien, you insubordinate sow! I should have you..."

  "Oh, shut up." Wu sounded almost bored. "You are not a Marshal, for you have been removed from the People's Liberation Army. And you are not a Comrade, for you have been stripped of your party membership. Is that not true, Comrade Party Secretary Ting?" Wu addressed one of the anonymous Marines.

  "You are of course completely correct, Great and Glorious Supreme Commander Wu," came the voice. Tsien's staff went white.

  "As you see, there were a few modest changes this morning," Wu explained, "as voted unanimously by the Politburo. Of course, counter-revolutionary traitors do not vote. Nor are they summoned to meetings. Tsien, you are under arrest for treason, espionage, and consorting with a running dog whore of the capitalist French. The rest of you, we will continue this meeting as soon as Tsien's body is taken outside."

  Tsien reached for his pistol. Three shots rang out. A trio of holes appeared in Tsien's face. He fell to the floor.

  Marshal Wu looked primly at the sleeve of her jacket, from which powder smoke eddied. "Now I am going to be busy sewing, too."

  "Surely you have a batman, Madam Supreme Commander?" Ting asked politely.

  "When an officer uses his men as his servants, he proves he is a counterrevolutionary swine of the Tsien clique. The good officer serves his men, eats what they eat after they have been fed, sleeps after all but sentries are asleep," Wu answered.

  "Wisely quoted, Madame Supreme Commander," Xiu agreed. "And it is my shame that I cannot recall where in Chairman...I suppose Fu is no longer Chairman?"

  "I am now People's Supreme Chairman," announced Wu. "The late Chairman Fu died a hero's death confronting traitors, as you will soon read in People's Daily. The words are mine."

  "They are from the Glorious Sayings of Our Great Leader, The Great Helmsman, Great Teacher, Great Great Leader, Glorious Chairman Wu," Ting announced.

  "And now," Wu announced, "While it has been rigorously proven beyond any doubt that Tsien betrayed the Glorious People's Red Revolution, it does not follow that the Americans did not also penetrate our layers of deception and find our bases in Harbin by themselves. We will therefore all proceed to listen to Comrade Marshal Xiu's report, and consider how we may do better in the future." Meanwhile, she thought, my people will finish executing and arresting the last of the running dogs who have for so long crippled our country's foreign and military policies. "You will note that the bases we have lost are confined to the lists named by our late martyred heroic Chairman Fu as Rat, Pig, and Snake. For the Americans, we have yet other surprises." Which we shall reveal in due time, she thought. And then we will restore China to its proper place as the center of the world.

  Chapter 30

  "Let's get one thing straight. Our mission is scouting, and urban and suburban combat. Our training is scouting, street, and house fighting. You grelking aren't going to be making a grelking open-field grelking frontal assault on a grelking NaziFrog panzer regiment, unless it wanders into a central city, in which case it is so totally grelked the Junior Girl Guides will kill it for you. Tank regiments are why the MinuteMoms train with atomic napalm. Fight one in the open? You aren't trained for it! You aren't equipped for it! And you grelking well aren't doing it! Is that clear!"

  ...Sandra Miller, May 11, 2177, responding to MinuteGirl trainee question "How do I attack an FEU tank regiment in the open? By myself? Yes, I did expect my friends to come along." from Lessons of the Dark Lady, Mazi Isaacov, Editor, Liberator Press: Xi Bootis (2212).

  JOINT WAR COMMITTEE, STATES OF LINCOLN

  GREAT HALL OF THE SENATE

  ABRAHAM, LINCOLN, ALPHA CENTAURI

  November 15, 2176, 8:00 AM LST

  "This meeting of the Joint Committee on War of the States of Lincoln Joint Senate is hereby called to order." Senator Alphonse Meyer rattled as fast as his voice would allow through his pro forma opening statement. "The Chair notes that all members are present, guests are present, and the Committee Servile verifies that we are open to the public net. The Chair requests a motion to accept the recorded minutes and proceed to item 3 on the agenda. Moved, Seconded, Passed without Objection." Meyer took a breath. Fifty years ago as a County Legislator he would have needed three times as long to get half the business done. Fifty years ago, he wouldn't have believed that potatoes this hot existed. "The Chair welcomes Grand Commodore Pyotr Kalinin, States of Lincoln Planetary Self-Defense Fleet, and Doctor Herbert DeGrazzia Markovian, Chief Scientific Advisor to the Grand Commodore, as witnesses. Objections? So Ordered."

  Meyer let himself take another breath. Senator Caravelle had promised to be on her best behavior. Of the five political parties in the various State Senates, he could count on the firm support of the Movimiento Moderate Central and Constitutional Restorationists, which had over 80% of the seats. The issues were made to order: The Democratic Republicans, at 8% of the seats, would doubtless shoot themselves in the foot, without his needing to help them. Liberty Tree was entirely unpredictable, except to its partisans, but their representatives were thoughtful and had odd useful insights. On the other hand, Markovian's report gave new depth to the concept 'not even wrong'.

  "Chair notes that Dr. Markovian's report has been received in a timely way, filed, and given public disclosure. The Markovian Report bears directly on the military planning issues for which the Grand Commodore is present, and should be presented first. Chair asks unanimous consent to waive full presentation, allow the witness a few minutes to summarize his presentation documents, and proceed to questions. Is there objection?" Meyer looked carefully around the room. There might be an objection here. Two centuries ago, legislative bodies thrived on prolonged oral presentations. Some processes were so constructed as to demand them. Modern legislators were expected to be literate enough to read without moving their lips.

  Senator Caravelle stirred in her seat. He held his breath. While shocking, Markovian's report was remarkably transparent. She smiled.

  "Seeing no objection, Chair invites Dr. Markovian to summarize his reports, for not more than five minutes," Meyer said. That, he thought, will be the four minutes you gave me privately this morning.

  "Honorable Senators," Markovian said, "July 4 of this year, after the Third Battle of Clarksburg, we recovered what we believed to be a French warship, or section thereof. Two surviving crew members, inferred to be radical biosculpts in the form of giant shrimp, were killed by Mistress of the Sword Sandra Miller. Other biosculpts of the same sort, dead, were returned to the French. Three persons, inferred to be imprisoned radical biosculpts in the form of mammalian spiders, were rescued. Extensive computer records and text materials were recovered; they are in no known language. They do not appear to be enciphered. The survivors spe
ak in frequencies we cannot hear, in languages we cannot name, but neither read nor speak any known language. Their biochemistry is utterly foreign at the most basic levels -- their genetic material uses six bases, not our four. The hulk and apparent biosculpts are described in Tabs A-C of my report.

  "Massive investment in linguistic analysis lets us converse albeit imperfectly with the living radical biosculpts and read the recovered texts. The biosculpts -- their name for themselves, frequency-downshifted, is Jreetkch -- deny being biosculpts. They claim to be beings from other worlds, and to come from a civilization substantially older than ours. They further claim that the giant shrimp biosculpts are their enemies, a species that calls itself 'Gisbures', as close as human lips can shape it. They have requested political asylum -- or something similar -- until they can be repatriated. Linguistic and textual analysis is summarized in Tab D.

  "The Jreetkch have given us extensive supporting data. We find inconsistencies at the levels one would expect if you subjected three Americans to extremely prolonged interrogation about the United States. We find no absurdities. Isotopic analysis of the various biosculpts, the ship, and the Gisbures corpses supports otherworldly origins. In particular, the ratios of r- and s-process isotopes do not match any world in the United States. We repeated these analyses with the residuum of the invading fleets. We again find that isotopic ratios do not match any known world. Also, the ratios were notably different for the three styles of attacking ships and for the Jreetkch, consistent with an interpretation that they came from several different sets of planets. Details are in Tab E.

  "Unfortunately, the Jreetkch have heard of the Federal European Union. At least, they have heard of what they view as alien monsters whose description matches the FEU. We are somewhat constrained in that the prisoners conveniently claim to be captured civilians, from a nation that is not a beneficiary of the Suppression of Security Act, carrying tabletcomps from which sensitive information was excluded. They are aware of the Union as another group of hideous alien monsters who have allied themselves with the Gisbures against -- the Jreetkch alliance translates as 'axle' or 'hub'. The FEU are cannon fodder, contributing large numbers of warships of backward design and substantial ground forces, used primarily for planetary bombardment and assault. Our guests claim not to have detailed information about FEU military operations. Tabs F through L present additional information alleged by the Jreetkch. This completes my summary testimony."