Darkest Before Dawn: A Muse Urban Fantasy (The Veil Series Book 3)

by DaCosta, Pippa

  “Who was my mother?” I asked softly, waiting for the tightness in my chest to pass.

  “I don’t know. I suspect she succumbed during your birth or was killed soon after. You father, Asmodeus, is brutal.”

  I looked up. “You knew about my existence before I was born, but you don’t know who she was? Can you tell me anything about her?”

  “No. I had other priorities. I avoid stalking human women, present company excluded, especially females under the wing of another prince.”

  “Do you think I’m maybe like her?” I didn’t know why I asked. I’d never really thought about her before. I’d wondered, briefly, what it might have been like to have had a normal childhood, but pining over a past that could never have been wasn’t for me. The future, that was me. I lived for tomorrow. I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t care. One foot in front of the other, always moving forward, always running headlong toward hope.

  “I think...” he lowered his voice to a soothing timbre. “If she was anything like you, she’d have rained hell down on them all.”

  “You’re damn right she would have.” I straightened and pushed off the wall. I staggered somewhat, but Akil knew better than to reach for me. His dark eyes watched me approach him, drinking in my stride. I stopped inside his personal space, placed a hand on his chest, and stood on tiptoes to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek.

  He turned his head and looked down at me as though trying to solve an exasperating puzzle. Surprise muddied the amusement in his eyes.

  “You should try the truth on for size more often. It suits you.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  I woke slowly, wrapped in body-hugging warmth. Opening my eyes, I watched dust motes dance in the sunlight pouring through the windows. The world was quiet, my thoughts soft and content. Jonesy purred in my ear. I had a few glorious moments where my ignorance really was bliss, and then reality punched me in the gut. Like when you wake and think it’s a weekend, but it’s not. It’s a weekday, and you should have been at work an hour ago. Multiply that sensation by a hundred.

  Akil lay behind me. His warm spicy scent filled my head and tingled on my lips. I tensed and stopped purring. I’d been purring? Gulping, I took mental stock of the situation. I had all my clothes on. We were on top of the bed covers, not tangled up in each other’s limbs beneath them. I sighed out the breath I’d been holding. Why were we on my bed? Why hadn’t he said anything? Was he awake?

  His breath fluttered at my neck, sending a shiver trickling down my spine. He wasn’t touching me, but his heat radiated as though I’d curled up in front of an open fire. A tickling tendril of heat crawled across my back, down over my hip, and wove around my thigh.

  In all the years I’d lived with Akil, I’d never once woken up next to him in the morning. I’d woken to an empty bed. Every. Single. Time.

  We’d talked last night until my voice was hoarse and my head full off Adam’s treachery. Akil knew more than I could have imagined. Adam had learned about half bloods after falling for a demon held captive by the Institute: Yukki Onna, Stefan’s mother. Adam did the dirty, she became pregnant, and gave birth to Stefan at the Institute under the watchful eyes of the Institute scientists. Adam vowed to protect Stefan, knowing his newborn son would be killed if Yukki returned with him to the netherworld. Adam planned to eventually return him to Yukki, but Stefan was no normal child. He had power, power Adam could control, mold, and utilize for the benefit of the Institute. Stefan was a weapon. Half bloods were more powerful than Adam or the Institute could have imagined. Operation Typhon was born.

  I must have fallen asleep on the couch. Did I fall asleep on Akil? Had he carried me into the bedroom? My demon stretched inside me, casting out a ripple of heat. Akil’s breath shortened. He was awake, all right.

  “Shouldn’t you be pulling the wings off flies or something?” I quipped. Fake bravado made substantial armor.

  “What would that accomplish?” His breath brushed my shoulder.

  “Why are you here?” I couldn’t turn to look at him. If I did that, I didn’t trust what might happen next.

  “Did you know you purr in your sleep?”

  “That’s not me. It’s my demon.”

  “It’s... adorable.”

  I jolted upright. He lay on his side, head propped up on an arm, thankfully fully clothed, although his creased shirt rode up his waist revealing a tantalizing glimpse of bronze skin. “Okay, what’s going on? This isn’t you. First, you start telling the truth, and now you’re all...” I gestured, grasping for the right word, “Nice. A Prince of Hell doesn’t do nice. Where’s the real Akil?”

  “Lay back down, and I’ll reacquaint you with him.”

  I sprang from the bed and wobbled to my feet. “Urgh, how long was I asleep?”

  “Twelve hours and fifteen minutes.”

  I hadn’t dreamed. The suffocating nightmares hadn’t stalked me. I’d slept a whole twelve hours without waking in cold sweats with my own screams ringing in my ears. I pressed a hand to my chest. Damien was still in there, but he was quiet, still. Dormant. Had Akil’s presence somehow subdued him?

  “What did you do?”

  A frown touched his face. “I was the perfect gentleman. You appear to have a very low opinion of me.”

  “Well, duh. You killed my friend. You tried to kill me. I’m more surprised that you aren’t laying the power on thick and summoning my demon out of me so you two can tango.”

  He gestured with a flick of his hand. “Your delightful symbols won’t permit me.”

  Did that mean he couldn’t draw his power or just that he couldn’t draw her out of me?

  He straightened in much the same way big cats do, his languid movements unhurried and graceful. Once on his feet, he eyed me curiously. His hair was mussed and scruffy from twelve hours sprawled on the bed. His shirt gaped open and hung crooked on his muscular frame. He looked slept in, vulnerable, and very human, and it messed with my notion of the flawless, infallible, Prince of Hell.

  He stepped closer, invading my space, and lay his hand over mine resting on my chest. “He consumes you from the inside.” The honeyed roll of his words failed to mask the gravity of their meaning. “I know. I feel him. I witness his dark polluting your brilliance. If you wait too long, his essence will adhere to yours, and you will never be free of him. He will destroy the light in you.”

  I blinked up at Akil. “To get him out, I have to let you in... let you do the same to me as he did.”

  He inclined his head. “Not the same. It would be glorious. Would you rather he fester inside you?”

  “I’d prefer to be free of both of you.”

  He trailed the fingertips of his left hand down the side of my face while keeping his right hand clasped over mine on my chest. “An infusion is a wonderful thing: an eternal bond between paired demons.” He leaned in closer, shutting out my awareness of anything but him. A smile twitched his lips but didn’t settle. The sparkling touch of restrained energy fizzled between us. A welcome warmth spread through my body, loosening muscle and chasing away the fears rattling in my head. Recognizing the seductive spell he’d cast, I balked and stepped back, but he moved with me, backing me against the wall. My demon reached for him, her snarl bubbling in my head when she could no more wrap herself around him than I could push him away. His fingers played lightly on my chin, tilting my face up. A lick of power strummed through me. “I will scrub the memory of Damien from your mind and soul. It will be...” His eyelids fluttered. The tip of his tongue darted across his lower lip. “...true ecstasy. You’d be free.”

  “Free of him, not you...”

  He slammed a hand against the wall beside my head, rattling the windows. I flinched and gritted my teeth, but I held fast. He would not win this battle of wills. His rumbling growl was pure demon. Power bubbled up from the depths of his immortal presence and simmered dangerously in his eyes. He snared my gaze with his and bowed his head low enough that I could have flicked out my tongue to taste him
. I reined my desires back, hands fisted at my sides. My demon paced behind mental bars. She wanted to pounce on him, tear his clothes off, and taste every delectable inch of his perfect body. She’d ride high on the ecstasy he offered. She didn’t care for feelings or loyalty, and she didn’t give a damn about control. She wanted to screw him until we shattered. I struggled to separate the sensations vying for supremacy. Her needs, my wants, the desire strumming beneath my skin—it all conspired to break me apart.

  “You want me,” he breathed. “All of me. You like what I am. You blame your demon—a weak excuse, Muse.” With every word, his lips brushed mine. Heat sizzled beneath the feather-light touch. An impulsive urge to dart my tongue across his lips almost broke me. I bit my tongue and hoped the pain might anchor me. To taste him, to devour him, to explore every delicious inch of him... I’d been there before. I knew him intimately, and that only made self-restraint all the more punishing.

  “You lie to yourself, Muse.” The power beneath his words plucked my fears away as though they were insignificant. “You forget, I know you better than any man, or demon. Better than you know yourself.” Filaments of fire sparked in his eyes. “I see your soul. I see the heat of desire burning in your eyes. Your need is wet between your legs.” He lifted his hand from my chest and drove it lower, leaving a trail of heat. His fingers flicked open my pants buttons, his words punctuating each release. “You. Want. To. Fuck. Me.”

  Lust speared through me. I couldn’t deny anything he’d said. It was all true. I dropped my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. He was right. I burned for him. My skin fizzled. My heart drummed a relentless beat. It was only by a tiny thread of stubborn denial that I clung onto control, but that thread was unraveling, slipping through my fingers. It’s just sex, I told myself, just like old times. This was old territory. And yet it wasn’t. I’d changed. Whatever this was, it was different and weighed down with meanings I didn’t understand. I snapped my eyes open and clutched at his shirt, torn between pushing him away and dragging him close. I needed his hands to brand me and his lips to follow. The smile tugging on his lips told me he knew I’d lost.

  “Akil...” Stop... But I couldn’t say it. My demon rattled her bars and roared in my head. If she would just shut the hell up and let me think...

  He pinched my lower lip between his teeth, letting it spring free as I sucked in a breath. His wandering hand found the wetness between my legs. A reluctant groan peeled from me. His fingers roamed. I whimpered and felt him smile against my cheek. “I will bury myself inside you,” – deeper – “and free you, Muse.”

  A pent-up groan bubbled at the back of my throat, not quite free, and I slumped against him. “Damn you...” I snarled.

  “Say yes. Accept me. Now.” He leaned into me, his body a wall of hard muscle and otherworldly strength. His blunt teeth nipped my lips, my chin. He knotted his free hand into my hair and held me still, dark irises blazing with a halo of amber. Raw elemental power wrapped around me in an unseen embrace. I couldn’t think through the roaring need and wave after wave of heat. I was aflame inside, barely human, a beast consumed by desires. My hips rocked against his fingers as they dove in and eased out. I was losing my mind.

  “Get. Out.” The words hurt to say. I wasn’t even sure they were mine.

  “No.” He growled the word in a rushed kiss. The spicy taste of him danced on my tongue. I wanted more. I sunk my hand into his hair and plunged my tongue into a raw exploration of a kiss as though my life depended on it. I breathed him in, drank him down. His mouth roamed. His teeth nipped, sharper this time, rough with urgency.

  A dart of control pierced my madness. Perhaps it was the memory of my owner’s abuse or the remnants of him throbbing around my heart, but whatever its source, it blindsided me enough to release me from the crazed hunger. I planted both hands on Akil’s chest and shoved him away. He staggered, snarled, and lunged. His heady scent danced on my tongue and sideswiped my denial. His arms clamped around me, biceps flexing. His body crowded mine. Steel and honey. So hard, so smooth. I teased my tongue down his jawline and down his neck where his pulse tapped a brisk tempo against my lips. I could almost taste the blood rushing through his veins. His muscles trembled beneath my hands. He wanted me. My body may have betrayed what I needed from him, but he was equally slipping into desire. It went deep, this madness. Did he realize how lost we both were? I tore his shirt open, nipped his shoulder, and dragged my nails over the taut biceps and down his toned arms. My demon roared. I growled, snarled, and snapped at her, driving her back. He was mine.

  Akil tore my top over my head. His fingers speared into my hair and locked tight. He yanked me against him, releasing a savage groan against my neck that spilled a new wave of quivering heat through my body.

  Jesus, he was unrefined, raw, and wild. I caught the gleam of the demon glaring back at me. Chaos caged. He wasn’t a man. That being inside him, simmering just below his trembling flesh, was an eternal demon—not of this world, not belonging to humanity in any way. He was unreal, so far beyond my naive comprehension that I could no more hope to understand him than I could the workings of the universe.

  “Stop,” I breathed. My lust-soaked body belied my complaint.

  “No. You need this. Don’t deny it.” He strangled a groan, the sound so wrought with bottled up lust that I couldn’t help grinding my hips against his hardness. “Submit to me, body and mind,” he ordered, fire in his eyes, power in his voice. An undoing spilled through my demon. Had it not been for my human half, I’d have been reduced to a mindless puddle of demon hunger at his command.

  Where that molten stare wandered, my skin tingled. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see past desire. The smothering madness tore out all reason, but... “Akil?”

  He growled low again, this time in warning. “Don’t deny me.” Need slurred his words. “Do not condemn yourself, Muse.” His body shimmered behind a heat-haze. He pulled me to him, grinding the hardness of his cock against my hip. Another grunt of failing restraint slipped from him. I breathed out a pleasure-leaden moan and arched back. He held me tight, possessively, his hands smoldering against the small of my back. He trailed simmering kisses down my neck, lower, summoning fire in their wake. He hooked his fingers over my bra and tugged it aside. His lips burned. His tongue swirled around my nipple. I locked my hand in his hair and growled out a curse.

  When his power sought mine, writhed through my skin and thrust toward my center, I immediately shrank away. Despair finally broke through the suffocating insanity. Akil would drive himself inside me, tear out Damien, and make himself at home. He would do to me the same as Damien had done: force his power inside and tear me open. I flinched and drew my humanity around me like a coat of armor. He couldn’t have me like that. What Damien did to me was never happening again. Nobody could control me, beat me down, and drive me to my knees in submission. Ever again.

  “I will never submit.” My barely human speech betrayed my demon. She spoke through me despite the symbols on the wall. She was there, driving the lust out and glaring back at Akil’s flame-filled eyes with nothing short of defiance.

  I shoved his shoulder. He twisted back in against me, growling a warning.

  “Stop.” I clamped his face in both hands. “Just... stop. I’m not doing this with you.”

  He did stop. The world stopped too. I held his conflicted gaze and waited, not breathing. He wouldn’t force me. He might be a beast inside that body, a creature of greed. He wanted, he yearned, he desired, but he’d never crossed that line. It was the only truth about him I could trust.

  Finally, his eyes softened. He searched my face and with a sigh, planted a chaste kiss on my lips, and encircled me in his arms. The superheated lust we’d summoned dispersed. Seconds ticked on. Our panting breaths slowed, and our bodies cooled. The rapid beat of his heart corralled my runaway thoughts.

  “I can’t trust you.” Humanity clipped my voice. I was back in the room and in control. But damn, he smelled divine:
hot spices, sex and cinnamon. I drew in a deep breath and savored him because this wasn’t happening again. He was my drug. An addiction. If I let him, he’d destroy me, and it was my choice to make.

  He swallowed and stroked my hair back from my face, expression surprisingly calm. “You shouldn’t.”

  “I don’t think I can ever trust you.”

  “In which case, you had better become accustomed to sharing your soul with Damien.” He peeled himself away from me. The sudden absence of heat released a wave of shivers through my body. He bent and scooped his shirt off the floor, gaze skipping to me as I watched him. He shrugged it over his shoulders, leaving it gaping, and gave me the raised eyebrow and wicked smile that sprinkled lust through my veins all over again. He knew the effect he had on me. Was there a Prince of Temptation? It should have been him. I slumped against the wall, cold but defiant. Akil raked a hand through his hair, eyes hardening. “The spirit which forms the soul can be changed, shaped, molded. Souls are akin to chaos in that respect. Make no mistake, your owner will destroy yours.” He ruffled his hair, let his hand drop, and sucked in a wavering breath. “Your stubbornness will be your downfall.”

  “It’s my choice to make.” At least I didn’t sound like I was about to collapse, even if I couldn’t quite move away from the wall just yet.

  Akil weighed my words. His smile had gone. While he buttoned up his shirt, I watched shadows gather into a frown on his face. “We have a half blood to find.”