An Angel's Song

by Sharon Saracino

  She stiffened at first, flattening her hands against his chest as though she would push him away. Then she sagged against him with a shuddering sob and wrapped her arms around his waist. Alec lost track of time as he held her, her heartbroken tears soaking his chest while her hands bunched and twisted his shirt at the small of his back. Knowing there were no words, he rested his cheek on the top of her head, breathing in her familiar raspberry scent, and curled his body protectively around hers. Then he simply let her cry until her tears were spent. When her grip on his shirt finally eased and her heart-wrenching sobs subsided to sad little hiccoughs, Alec pulled back slightly, and looked down into her tear-mottled face.

  “We should go,” he said gently, rubbing his hands up and down the length of her back.

  “Go? But aren’t there arrangements…don’t I have to sign papers or something?” She gazed up at him with a lost expression.

  “That’s all been taken care of. Your father didn’t want any fuss when he…” Despite his best effort, Alec’s voice broke. He knew his pain couldn’t compare with hers, and maybe all things considered he didn’t even have the right to grieve, but he felt the ache of loss nonetheless. He roughly cleared his throat. “The Brothers who oversee the hospital will take care of everything. It’s why he came here. It’s what they do when one of us…moves on. Actually, in the mortal world, this floor doesn’t even exist.”

  “I see,” she whispered, her eyes welling again. “So that’s it, then. It’s all over and he’s just…gone. And he appointed you my own personal go-to guy. And you agreed? What in the hell am I supposed to do with that?”

  “We’ll talk about it later. I know it doesn’t feel like it at the moment, but he’ll never be further away than the best memories you hold in your heart. And I know you have tons of those.”

  She nodded, blinking rapidly. “I know. It’s not quite the same though, is it?”

  “No, it’s not the same,” Alec agreed. “If it helps at all, even though your father inspired some of the greatest art and literature in the history of the world, in the thousands of years of his existence, he considered you his greatest accomplishment. You brought him his greatest joy.”

  “Thank you.” After a moment, to his surprise, she chuckled and swiped the back of her hand across her eyes. “He must have led a sadly boring existence if I was the highlight.”

  “Hardly,” Alec grinned in return. “Remind me to tell you about our sojourn in sixteenth century Paris sometime. Now, are you ready?”

  “I can’t really imagine any circumstances under which we’d be having that conversation, Alec. But, thank you again for coming to see him at the end. Really. I know it meant a lot to him.”

  “I loved him, too.”

  Tessa pressed her lips together, dropped her chin to her chest, and nodded. Then she drew in a deep breath and stretched her long neck, sending the remnants of her poorly constructed up-do tumbling around her shoulders like russet silk against the snowy background of her blouse. Alec bit back a groan as his blood rushed to a location it had no business seeking out under the circumstances. Or any circumstances. Damn.

  “I suppose I should call for a taxi. My father leased a place in the Borgo and moved our things there when he became ill. I have the address here somewhere.” As if she’d only just realized she was still standing in his arms, she stepped back unsteadily and dug in her pocket. Alec dropped his arms to his sides, immediately feeling the loss of her warmth. Fighting the urge to drag her back against him, he bent and retrieved her backpack where she’d dropped it and slung it over his shoulder.

  “We’ll check out the place later. Right now, you’re coming home with me, and you don’t need a cab.”

  ****

  Tessa’s alarmed gaze flew to his face He looked completely serious. Okay, so maybe earlier she’d wished for someone to hold her, someone to comfort her and share the unfathomable sense of loss. At a moment when she’d needed someone most, Alec certainly seemed like the answer to a prayer. The person she most wanted, but least expected. Still, at the end of the day, no matter how compassionate he appeared, no matter what they’d been to one another, and no matter what her father said, she sure as hell wasn’t going home, or anywhere else, with him. That couldn’t end well. At all.

  “Um…I don’t think so, but thank you,” She yanked her gloves from the back pocket of her jeans and tugged them on. Then, she reached out and curled her fingers around the strap of her backpack where it rested along his shoulder. “Will you please give me my things?”

  “What? Oh sure, sorry.” He casually shrugged free of the strap, and she stumbled back against the wall, heart pounding, and holding the bag against her chest like a shield.

  “Look, I know my father asked you to give me a hand getting things sorted out and to look out for me, but you know he’s always been overprotective. And given our history…well, it’s probably not the best idea, you know? I’ll miss him terribly of course, but I’ll be fine. People do this every day, right? I appreciate the invitation, but I’ll be going to the flat just as I planned.” Exhausted, empty, and lacking the strength to deal with her estranged husband, what she wanted most was to curl up in a ball and cry until the panicked ache clawing insistently at the inside of her chest began to ease. Her father was gone. “Consider yourself off the hook.”

  “Here’s the problem. You’re apparently under the impression I was issuing an invitation, or that I’m giving you a choice. You need sleep and some good old-fashioned coddling. In short, you need my mother.”

  Before Tessa could formulate a reply, he leaned forward and pulled her back into his arms. She had a single heartbeat to appreciate the solid strength of him and then the world spun away.

  Chapter Four

  “How dare you?” Tessa sputtered, first stumbling, and then shoving hard against him, as they reformed moments later in the back garden of his mother’s home on Via Dandolo. She twisted away, nostrils flaring, and stood facing him with her feet shoulder-width apart and hands fisted at her sides.

  “How dare I bring you to a place where you can relax in safety and be taken care of? Oh, I don’t know, I guess I’m just an inconsiderate jerk.”

  The first orange fingers of dawn creeping out to tickle the wispy streaks of gray stretching along the horizon provided just enough light to discern the dangerous spark in her eyes. Alec could live with angry. It allowed him to keep his own anger near the surface, and bury other less welcome emotions determined to bubble up whenever she was near. Yeah, royally pissed was preferable to desolate and inconsolable any day of the week as far as he was concerned.

  “That wasn’t fair!”

  “I don’t have to be fair,” Alec replied. “This isn’t a democracy, you know.”

  “You can’t just go around doing things like that to people without warning,” she whispered in a tremulous voice, and only then did Alec realize she was trembling from head to toe. Well, shit.

  “Tessa…” he stepped toward her and held out a hand.

  “Don’t you touch me,” she warned, taking a quick step back, eyeing him warily.

  Okay, so maybe he’d been an oblivious jackass. Hardly the first time, but maybe it showed progress if he’d noticed without someone else pointing it out?

  “Look, I could have warned you, but frankly it just never occurred to me. You’ve had a long night, and you’re tired and hurting. I get it. I’m not happy about this, but believe it or not, I really am trying to help. I’m not the bad guy here.”

  “Meaning I am?” She spat, stepping right up toe to toe, crossing her arms over her chest, and craning her neck to look directly into his face. “I fly thousands of miles, watch my father die, and then, before I can even process what that means, I am grabbed by you, of all people, and spirited off against my will without so much as a by-your-leave. And you have the audacity to stand there and tell me you’re not happy about this?”

  Alec decided he definitely preferred angry Tessa. Her eyes deepened to the swirli
ng blue of an angry sea and her chest heaved, straining the buttons of the wrinkled white blouse and thrusting her high breasts against the thin fabric. With her bright eyes snapping, red-gold curls tumbling over her shoulders, and her cheeks hot and flushed, pissed or not, she was freakin’ magnificent.

  “Okay, let’s agree neither of us are happy about this. You’re still staying here.”

  “You’re impossible!” She threw up her hands in the universal gesture for frustration and bent to retrieve her backpack while mumbling under her breath in rapid Italian. Glancing around wildly, she turned and stomped toward the walkway leading to the front of the villa. He caught up to her in two long strides and grasped her upper arm, spinning her to face him. She struggled automatically, stopping short as a woman’s voice floated out of the back door into the still morning air.

  “Alec, if you’ve finished badgering the poor girl, the coffee is on the table.”

  “Who’s that?” Tessa whispered in a shaky voice.

  “I realize it’s been a while, but surely you haven’t forgotten my mother?”

  “Madge? You were serious? You’re living with your mother?”

  “No, but you know I stay with her when I’m in Rome.” Alec shrugged. “Is that a problem?”

  “No…no, of course not. It’s just that I thought…oh, never mind.”

  “You thought what? That I brought you here to… Well, sweetness, sorry to disappoint you, but even I’m not that insensitive. Or desperate.”

  “You flatter yourself. I’m not disappointed in the least. Self-centered, overbearing mama’s boys aren’t my type.”

  Alec reminded himself she’d just lost her father, and bit back the sharp retort that sprang automatically to his lips. He settled for following slowly behind as Tessa shook off his hand and marched back to the kitchen door, climbing the stairs right into Magdalena McAllister’s open arms.

  “I’m so sorry about your father, my dear,” Madge murmured quietly. “We loved him, too.” Tessa nodded into the other woman’s shoulder, but if she responded, she kept her voice too low for Alec to hear.

  “Don’t take it personally, darling. The girl is grieving.” His mother’s amused voice entered his mind through the telepathic channel used by his family.

  “Exactly whose side are you on, Mother?” Alec sent the disgruntled reply.

  “I didn’t know we were engaged in a battle, dear. Now come in and sit down. It’s been a long night.”

  “How did you know?” Alec asked as he pulled out a chair across the table from Tessa and dropped his tired ass on it.

  “Michael stopped by earlier,” his mother explained vaguely, setting steaming mugs of coffee in front of them before resuming her own seat. Tessa smiled her thanks, extended a hand for her cup, then hesitated, as Madge arched a manicured brow at her gloved hands.

  “Sorry, forgot,” Tessa mumbled as a lovely apricot stained her cheeks. She peeled her gloves off and stuffed them in her pocket. “When I’m distracted the gloves afford me the freedom to concentrate on other things and avoid getting smacked with an unexpected vision.”

  “I’ve always found your gift fascinating,” Madge brought her cup to her lips, regarding Alec steadily over the rim, and took a sip. “Psychometry is rare, even among our kind. Your father always claimed it both a handy talent to have and a terrible curse to bear. Depending on the circumstances, of course. I expect it’s much the same for you.” Setting her cup back on the table, she turned her full attention to Tessa with a smile. “You must be exhausted. Finish your coffee and I’ll show you up to one of the guest rooms.”

  “That’s very kind of you, Madge.” Tessa pushed the cup away and rose to her feet, glancing covertly at Alec. “But as I tried to tell your son, my father arranged a place for me to stay.”

  “Nonsense,” Madge waved her off. “I will not have you going off alone, especially at a time like this. Besides, if your father really intended for you to stay there alone, he would never have arranged for Alec to fetch you. Now come along, young lady. Let’s get you settled in. I’m sure we can find something to fit you.”

  “But…”

  Alec relaxed back in his chair with a grin and stretched his legs out in front of him, ignoring the desperate glances Tessa aimed in his direction. His mother operated like a rip tide, and he’d learned long ago it was much easier to go with her flow than swim against the current. He’d counted on her taking charge of the situation for the night. Not only was she a much better caretaker than he could ever hope to be, Tessa had always been fond of her and would no doubt find more comfort in his mother’s company than his.

  “Don’t tell me you forgot my mother is an old cat lady. Except instead of stray cats, she collects people. Resistance is futile. It’s best to save your energy, submit willingly, and try to get some rest.”

  “I don’t understand. Neither of you has the slightest reason to be kind to me,” Tessa shook her head and whispered quietly as moisture gathered in her eyes.

  “We McAllisters take care of our own,” Madge said by way of explanation. Coming around the table, she wrapped an arm around Tessa’s slim shoulders and steered her toward the doorway leading to the parlor and the stairs beyond.

  “We can go to the apartment later, if you like. You can see what’s there, decide what you want to keep, and I’ll arrange to have it moved here temporarily until I decide what to do,” Alec offered. Tessa stiffened against his mother’s side and skidded to a stop, before turning back to him with wide eyes and flaming cheeks.

  “I’m sorry? Did you say until you decide what to do? I’m sure I heard you wrong because I don’t recall giving you authority to make my decisions for me. My father may have appointed you my trusty guardian, but I didn’t. I’m quite capable of looking after myself, and I didn’t agree to anything,” Tessa ground out through clenched teeth.

  “You do recall this isn’t a democracy, right?” Alec pressed his lips into a thin line. He was doing his best to accommodate a woman who’d thrown his heart in his face and walked out on him…for another man. She really could show a little gratitude. Or at least a modicum of polite appreciation. Most people considered him the easy-going McAllister. When had he turned into such a controlling bastard? He swallowed hard as he realized his sudden need to flex his macho directly correlated to the moment Tessa barreled into his chest and back into his life, gazing up at him with those wide, blue eyes and tear spiked lashes.

  “Look,” Alec pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and looked up through his lashes with a sigh. The purple smudges beneath Tessa’s eyes and the fragile pallor remaining once the angry flush drained from her cheeks struck him like a fist to the gut. “I didn’t mean that exactly the way it sounded. It’s been a hell of a night, yeah? We’ll figure it all out after you’ve had some rest.”

  “Yeah, it has been a hell of a night.” She regarded him steadily before turning her attention back to his mother with a wan smile. “But it’s no excuse for rudeness. It’s poor repayment for your kind hospitality, Madge. I apologize. To you.”

  “Don’t be silly. You have nothing to apologize for. Alec is a typical McAllister male. Don’t hold it against him. I do believe it’s genetic. On his father’s side, of course.” His mother gave him a pointed look that made Alec want to stick out his tongue. He settled for an exaggerated eye roll instead.

  “While you, my darling mother, are ever docile and accommodating,” Alec snorted.

  “Well, I agree a congenital defect is clearly beyond his control.” Tessa offered Madge a somber expression. “I’ll try to remember that the next time he assumes I haven’t a brain in my head.”

  “Hey, wait a minute! I didn’t…” Alec straightened in his chair and started to protest he’d never assumed any such thing, when he saw the corner of her lips twitch. Was she teasing him? It touched something deep inside that despite all she’d suffered in the last few hours, she could overlook his awkward attempt to play protector and find some humor
in it. His lips curled in return. “Okay, maybe I did throw myself into the saddle of my high horse with a little more enthusiasm than necessary. But understand this, Contessa. No matter how you feel about it, no matter how I feel about it, I made your father a promise and I intend to keep it.”

  “In that case, while I appreciate your commitment, I feel compelled to point out your implementation needs work.” Her small, white teeth sank into her full bottom lip. “A lot of work.”

  Then she turned and followed his mother out of the room without another word, leaving Alec at the kitchen table with his mouth hanging open.

  ****

  Madge McAllister bustled around the room closing the wooden shutters against the rising sun, after handing Tessa a thin cotton nightie pulled from an antique mahogany chest of drawers just inside the door of the large, airy bedroom. Tessa quickly stripped out of the wrinkled traveling clothes that stuck to her skin as though she’d been wearing them for weeks instead of hours. Inhaling the fresh, clean scent of sun dried cotton, she let the lightweight sleepwear drop over her head, tugged the hem down to her knees, and climbed into the big bed Madge turned down for her. The plush mattress enveloped her in a welcoming embrace and a little of the tension of the last few hours eased.

  “Can I get you anything else, dear?” Madge asked as she paused near the door.

  “No, thank you,” Tessa said in a choked voice. “You’ve already done so much…I don’t know what to say. Thank you hardly seems adequate.”

  “I told you, we take care of our own,” the older woman smiled.

  “I guess I’m surprised you still feel I fall into that category,” Tessa sighed. “Of all people, I thought you’d be the last one feeling charitable where I was concerned. I never intended—well, you know what they say about the best intentions. I am sorry I hurt him, you know. Nothing turned out the way I planned.”

  “I think maybe it’s more accurate to say you hurt each other. I love my children with every breath in my body, Tessa, but I recognize they aren’t perfect. No one is. No one knows what truly goes on in a marriage aside from the two people involved, and there are always three sides—his, hers, and the truth. Get some rest, child,” Madge crossed to the bed and pressed her lips to Tessa’s forehead before she withdrew, leaving her alone with her grief and her thoughts. Tessa pulled the sheet to her chin, and stared dry-eyed at the ceiling’s ornate plaster work. She always believed visitation hours and funerals were barbaric rituals, but now with her father simply gone, she almost longed for the comfort of tradition and the blessed occupation of mind provided by preparations and logistics. Now she understood. The customs existed to bring comfort to the living, diversions designed to ease the heart with a respite from the reality. Flowers and tears were for the living. They were useless to the dead.