Anathema

by Bowman, Lillian

  “I wish you’d never stepped between that girl and that hunter,” Mom says suddenly. “I wish you’d left it alone.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t.”

  If I wish anything, it’s that I’d seen the problem facing people like Noelle and Alexander before their problem became my own. That was my hypocrisy. But maybe that was just my humanity. The world contains so much suffering and grief. Maybe most of us only see through the narrow window directly in front of us because that’s the only way to bear it. If we experience it all, the ugliness of this world can drown us.

  I don’t regret what I did. I’m glad I acted. I can live with myself because I stepped between Noelle and that hunter.

  Mom and I watch that ninth grader, the girl who was totally oblivious to the problems I face every day now. She may have been happier for it, but she wasn’t changing anything. Her life was small and meaningless. She wasn’t having any impact.

  I’m not like her anymore.

  I can make amends for her obliviousness now. Each wrong, each injustice, every cause of grief begins to change with a single person stepping forward to fix it. The day with Noelle, it was me. I stepped forward. I can keep stepping forward. Even as an anathema. Even as an HI-10. There is an entire world ahead of me.

  “I’d do it again,” I tell Mom. “Even if I’d known, Mom, I would’ve done it all over again.”

  Tears continue to stream down her face. “I can’t save you from yourself.”

  I kiss her wet cheek. “You don’t have to anymore. I’m almost eighteen now. It’s my job to do that from now on.”

  That night, I find my car keys and drive down to the beach. I return to that place where the first terrible massacre took place

  The Waste.

  I venture out among the jagged rocks, lighter in hand, and scan for any moving shapes. I wave my feeble flame in an ‘S’, waiting for a response. When no one comes out to greet me, I venture onward, the stench of rotting seaweed mounting in my nose.

  But nobody is here.

  I find the darkened cave where Liam and the Wasters used to live. It’s abandoned.

  Amanda texted me that Alexander wasn’t in school Monday. She hadn’t seen Noelle, either. My gut curls in apprehension as I gaze around the empty caves. I came here hoping to find out what happened to them. I wanted to make sure they were still alive after surrendering that information so vital to preserving their lives. Has Alexander rejoined them? Have they all moved to another city? I owe the Wasters my life twice over, but they’re also the greatest menace to me in this city.

  I walk slowly out, the wind and the water spattering my face. The night is thick and dark around me, but it holds no terror now. Maybe I’ve finally burned out on it. Or maybe something so simple as seeing my worst nightmare reduced to a groveling mess has made every other fear pale in comparison.

  Distant lights are scattered over the hillside above me. For a moment I stand there at the edge of the water staring up at them, thinking how strange it was that Liam was so close to the heart of our city yet remained hidden for so long. They’d gone in and out and wreaked havoc yet attracted no notice. Not from anyone in town. Not from the city government or even…

  Then it hits me.

  The answer flies into place. I look around and almost laugh at the simplicity of it. I’ve missed it this whole time.

  I know where to go from here.

  Conrad’s face fills with surprise when I ring the doorbell to his house. He draws me into an eager embrace. Too eager.

  “Conrad…”

  “I know.” He steps back. “You’re still hurt.”

  I shake my head. “We need to talk.”

  I break it to him. The truth. The truth that we’d been together far longer than we should have been. The truth that I don’t feel the same way I used to. The truth that he should go back to Siobhan.

  “It’s that anathema, isn’t it?” he mutters.

  My cheeks heat. “Part of the reason.” I sigh. “Conrad, you were kissing Siobhan in the cafeteria in front of everyone. You can’t tell me that meant nothing.”

  “She won’t take me back. I left you for her, then I left her for you.”

  “Trust me, she’ll take you back.”

  His eyes flicker up to me. “You can’t possibly know that.”

  I arch my eyebrows. I feel strangely indulgent towards him like he’s an old friend and not the boy I dated for so many years. “I can get her back for you. I promise.”

  He frowns at me like he’s not sure how to feel about me himself. “Sometimes I feel like you’ve become this whole other person and I barely understand you anymore.”

  I laugh. “Sometimes, I feel like that, too.” My eyes stray beyond him, to the hallway leading to the real reason for my visit. “I’ll be right back.”

  He stays there on the couch as I walk farther into his house, but I’m not heading to the bathroom or doing anything else. Instead I venture right down the darkened hallway and knock on the door of the familiar study. Light spills out from under the door. She’s home.

  “Come in.”

  I shove the door open. Shock transforms Mayor Alton’s face before the familiar blistering ice takes its place. “What are you doing here, Kathryn?”

  I smile thinly. “Must be a nasty shock to see I’m still alive. Or is it?”

  “Excuse me?”

  I nudge the door shut with my heel. “I want to know what the anathemas at the Waste have done to Alexander.”

  She blinks several times. “I don’t know what—”

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

  Standing there on the beach, looking at those distant lights, I realized it was no accident the Wasters were here in Cordoba Bay. They had someone high up in city government covering for them, working to conceal the power they were using from the energy grid. Someone with a vested interest in making sure the destruction of the Showdown crew was known as the Shelter Valley Massacre, not the Cordoba Bay Massacre.

  Someone who could readily deploy her self-funded gang of anathemas against her rivals for California governor. There was a reason for the anathema-related crime wave in Los Angeles, home of Mayor Alton’s foremost political rival. And how convenient for her, controlling all the criminals in Cordoba Bay. She ensured they committed no crime here so she could claim credit for cleaning up our streets.

  Most damning of all, she had access to all the footage from the massacre. Liam said he handed it over to their boss. She leaked the footage of me intentionally to ensure my death right after I kissed her son in front of her house. Right after I challenged her like that. And since she knew from the Wasters that I was staying at the school with Alexander, she also knew to tell the Principal about us, to drive me out of the single refuge saving my life. She wanted someone to kill me, anathemas, hunters, whoever.

  It made sense. After all, Mayor Alton must have been horrified when her son’s girlfriend lost citizenship.

  I was so close to her family for years and now I was an anathema. Mayor Alton’s two worlds were colliding. I knew her as Jolene Alton, pillar of the community and now I’d just joined the criminal underworld she secretly controlled.

  I became a threat to her. A threat she needed to eliminate.

  “I know it’s you,” I say. “It’s been you all along. You’re the boss of those anathemas. You give them orders. You fund them.”

  Her mouth bobs open in shock.

  “Oh, and I don’t know because of Alexander,” I add. “He was telling the truth. He never hacked your encrypted computer chip. I figured it out for myself, and that expression on your face? Pretty much confirms all my suspicions.” I plant my hands on her desk and lean forward. “But that doesn’t mean my suspicions stay with me. I can keep quiet, or I can be very loud. I don’t know what you have planned for Alexander and Noelle, but I want them safe.”

  Her face has become smooth, hard granite. “If you expect me to say something incriminating so you can record me,
you’re deluding yourself.”

  “I don’t need proof. If I don’t see Alexander and Noelle again very soon, alive and healthy, a video of me goes up on YouTube accusing you of leading a huge group of anathemas.” I smile slowly. “Funny thing about my new found fame: anything I post right now will get a lot of attention. If I put my conspiracy theory out there, all those political rivals of yours with their mysterious, anathema-related crime waves will suddenly start investigating you. I bet they’ll be able to prove what I can’t.”

  The mayor’s jaw firms. “I see.”

  “I’m glad you see. Oh, and in case you’re thinking of just having your pet anathemas kill me before I can do any of this? The video’s already been prepared. It’s ready to deploy whether or not I’m alive to do it.” I’m lying about this. Hopefully she doesn’t call me on it. I straighten up. “I hope we can be better friends after this, and by ‘being friends’, I mean: stop trying to kill me. Conrad and I just broke up for good, so you got what you wanted there.”

  She says nothing.

  I flash her a bright smile. “Have a good night, Ms. Alton.”

  Then I leave her sitting there behind her massive desk, auburn hair in a smooth bun, her face like a stone effigy. I know she’s heard me.

  CHAPTER FIFTY

  My answer comes at school the next day. Amanda, Nancy, Lilah and I are hanging out on the front steps leading up to the lobby, drinking our morning lattes and enjoying the bright rays of sunshine. My eyes stray to Siobhan Park, slinking into the lobby of the school. She shoots us her usual glare before brushing through the door.

  “Pathetic,” Amanda sings, not looking at her.

  But I just feel sorry for her. I’ve met truly awful human beings, and Siobhan doesn’t even rate among them. She honestly sees me as the villain who ruined her entire high school experience. I can change this narrative for her with one gesture. I smile at Amanda and set my latte down. “I’ll be right back.”

  I follow Siobhan into the lobby, and catch up to her right next to her locker. “Siobhan.”

  She looks over at me, scowling. “What do you want?”

  I slap her.

  Gasps and cries ring out around us. People quickly circle us, whispering excitedly. Siobhan cups her cheek, outrage blooming in her eyes, scarlet flushing over her face.

  “I guess you feel really proud of yourself,” I say loudly.

  “What are you talking about?” she snarls.

  “Conrad told me all about his feelings for you when he dumped me. I hope you’ll be really happy together.” Then I whirl around and stalk back towards the door, but not before I catch the surprise and delight that washes over her face.

  Conrad’s a good guy, and she’ll never take him back if she thinks of him as my cast-off. This way, she thinks she’s won him from me. Maybe this will be enough to finally relieve her of the need to triumph over me.

  My eyes catch Conrad’s as I pass him walking into the lobby.

  “Hey, Kat,” he says.

  I smile at him. “Go see Siobhan.”

  Just as I reach the doors, I glance back. Siobhan throws her arms around him, crashing her lips to his. I rejoin my friends right outside to hang out the last minutes before class begins. But Amanda is on her feet, staring out at something.

  “Look. It’s him!”

  For a moment, my heart skips a beat, my mind jumping to Alexander. But then I see Liam waiting by the fence, cars sailing past him into the school. He’s watching us, smoking a cigarette. He nods when our eyes meet.

  Apprehension curls in my gut as I look between Amanda and her old crush. Amanda, with the worst taste in men imaginable. “He’s not a citizen,” I remind her.

  “That still matters, anathema?” she says tartly.

  “When it comes to a psychopath like Liam, it matters. Trust me.”

  “He’s really an anathema.” She looks at him with a dazed smile. “I totally called it.” To my relief, the bell rings. Rather than approach him, she turns and files into the school with the other students.

  I grab my latte and settle on the steps, raising my eyebrows at him challengingly. He’ll have to put out his cigarette and come to me. I’m not going to him. I still don’t feel safe around him.

  Finally, he tosses his cigarette aside, shoves his hands into his pockets, and saunters across the parking lot.

  “Ah, the memories,” he says as he approaches. “How is the old stomping ground?”

  If Amanda could see him up close like this, she might not remember her old infatuation. He looks rough. Dirty. He stinks of smoke and he’s gaunt and leathery. His hair is greasy and unkempt. The only part of him that looks alive are his eyes, wild and snapping with the sort of manic energy that burns so bright, it can only burn out.

  “Where’s Alexander?” I ask him.

  “He disappeared into the night before we could even talk to him. Rather hurt my feelings.” He widens his eyes mock innocently. “It’s like he thought we were going to kill him.”

  A cold feeling washes through me. He’s lying. The Wasters already killed Alexander, killed Noelle, didn’t they?

  An edge creeps into my voice. “Where is he really, Liam?”

  “My boss wants to offer you a deal—”

  “No deal,” I cut in. “Not if they’re dead. You obviously killed them and you’re lying about it!”

  Liam laughs. “I knew you’d react this way. I knew you’d assume the worst of me. It’s very unfair and hurtful, but…” He holds up a finger to forestall my objection, “That’s why I thought ahead. Of my own initiative, I sent out some of my crew to comb the town, track our stray anathema brother and sister down.” He holds out a slip of paper between two dirty finger nails. “They’ve been spotted hiding out at this bloke’s house. Keeping a low profile.”

  I stare down at the address, and the name ‘Rusty Galliano’ makes the frantic tempo of my heart calm. Rusty. I know that name. That’s the night security guard who covered for Alexander. He’s taking care of them now. That’s… That’s sweet. A knot of dread in my chest begins to loosen.

  “I don’t blame Metz for what he did,” Liam says. “Sometimes I chafe at falling in line, too, but we do what we must to survive in this world. My survival plan includes wreaking havoc on command. Really, I have to congratulate you for pulling your little Nancy Drew act off and figuring out our nasty secret all on your own. You truly are a clever girl.”

  I fold up the paper in shaky hands “So what deal are you here to offer me? I just want to survive. I want Alexander and Noelle to live, too.”

  “Our boss thinks you’re a potential liability, but killing you would obviously lead to more problems.” He waves off the idea lazily. “So I’m here with a peace offering. One that solves all our problems, I should think. In exchange for your silence, you get this.” He pulls a large yellow envelope from his jacket, and presses it into my hand.

  I open it and pull out its contents.

  There’s a passport with a snapshot of my face on it. A plane ticket to London that departs tomorrow. And…

  An exit visa.

  An actual exit visa. This had to cost a fortune.

  I look up at Liam, my mouth dry. “This is… real?”

  “Real. Though I don’t know why you’d want to return to the old country. It’s ever so much more exciting here.”

  “How can you actually prefer living here?”

  “What’s not to like? Any other country, I’d be rotting in prison for the rest of my life for my antics. Here, I get sunshine, fresh air, the occasional murder attempt, and excitement galore.”

  “Excitement?” I sputter.

  His eyes gleam. “There must be a tiny part of you that’s come alive since losing citizenship. Perhaps the fruit tastes sweeter and the grass looks greener and you see everything with that keen edge only people on the cusp of death truly experience. You can’t tell me this hasn’t been the slightest bit enlivening, the slightest smidgen – dare I say – ennobling?”
>
  I gape at him. He’s a madman. “I wouldn’t know if I’m becoming more noble, Liam! Most of me is focused on trying not to become more dead.”

  “What were you before?” Liam points out. “Just a happy little girl in an average life destined for an average fate. Now your days are numbered, filled with life and death struggles with real villains, real dangers.” A crazed smile dances over his face, lighting his eyes with deranged glee. “You see, I love living like this. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’ve never intended to die old in my bed. I’ve always wanted to be a revolutionary manning the barricades, a warrior-poet-lover battling for a lost cause.”

  “A warrior-poet-lover?” I say with a laugh.

  He laughs, too. “Oh, my poetry is an abomination, I’ll admit that, but I’m quite adept at the other two. I’ll go out one day with a song in my heart, a sword through my chest and a smile on my lips. I will be utterly and completely alive until my very last breath, Katie Grant, you mark my words.”

  His words stir something in me, even as I shake my head in furious denial. “You’re as crazy as Wolfman Savage.”

  “Never denied that, love. I am one of the restless few who will never be content with the sedate and the serene. I want to leave a scorch mark with my very existence. But perhaps these words just ring of madness to you, so I’ll say farewell—and ask you to give my respects to Her Majesty.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and backs languidly from me, never taking his eyes from mine. “By the way, I should ask—that girl you were standing with. Amelia, I remember?”

  “Amanda,” I correct, then wish I hadn’t.

  He smiles at me sleazily. “She have a man?”