His Eternal Flame
Page 12
“It’s actually warm outside for once, so we are going swimming!”
“What?”
She didn’t answer, only followed up that statement by shrugging out of her summer dress and showing off her blue bikini. She tossed her head, blond hair swirling up, and posed for me.
“Well?”
“I think you look amazing, Samantha.”
Her expression turned ugly.
“Who’s Samantha?”
Confused, I sat back.
“Samantha? How do I know that name?”
An image of a curvy woman with dark hair and hazel eyes flashed through my mind.
Samantha.
“It’s silly, I know. But I feel like, if I stay here… How is he, doctor? Stable…sure, nurse, thank you… Dustin, please. Wake up…”
I pushed the voice away and went back to the dark place, the quiet far more soothing, free from pain.
I was not ready to wake up.
Chapter 22
Samantha
Hospital food, I discovered, was not very good. After a steady diet of it for the past week, I was pretty sure I’d tried every dish and didn’t think I could stomach any more of it.
But I also knew I couldn’t leave. I didn’t have a choice. I needed Dustin. Even if he didn’t know it, I wasn’t going to leave his side. My job, the conference, my apartment—none of it mattered. I just needed Dustin to wake up.
“Hey there, Samantha,” Delia greeted me.
Delia was Dustin’s current nurse, and she’d been present during the daytime shifts for most of the weekend.
“Any change?” I asked as she looked over his info.
She didn’t answer immediately, but I understood that she was looking over his charts and comparing it to his current vitals. I’d certainly learned enough over the past week to enhance my medical knowledge to an uncomfortable degree.
Dustin was in a coma. He’d inhaled so much smoke carrying me out of the hotel that he’d damaged his lungs. When we’d finally made it out, he’d been unable to get enough air, depriving his brain of oxygen long enough to cause his body to shut down.
I recalled vividly how strong his arms had been around me the entire time, how they’d never wavered until after he set me on my feet. Dustin had saved me, even though it had cost him his own wellbeing. There was no greater gift he could give me than my life.
Except for his.
I needed Dustin to come back, so badly that I’d refused to leave his bedside after the paramedics had released me. The hotel had sent over my luggage, soggy but otherwise intact. They’d also sent a huge credit to my account, and I was sure there would be more once my insurance company got involved.
For now, though, I was just grateful to have clothes to change into that didn’t reek of smoke. That left me free to remain next to Dustin in case there was any sign of change.
Part of me continued to feel guilty—after all, Dustin was in a coma because he’d come to rescue me. And since Alistair hadn’t bothered to tell Dustin what room I was in, Dustin had wasted time and likely worsened his condition looking for me.
That was what kept any guilt from taking over—the thought that Alistair was to blame. Dustin had collapsed thinking I didn’t want him anymore, thanks to that awful text.
No, I wouldn’t be able to forgive Alistair for a long time, if ever. Perhaps he’d sensed that, because other than a brief message telling me he was heading back to Philadelphia and that he’d take care of everything with work, I’d heard nothing from him.
Granted, I wasn’t much interested in what story he would concoct about me. That was for later, during the part of my life when Dustin was awake and well and able to hold my hand again.
Dustin would wake up. I knew he would, if only because I spent every waking moment willing him to open his eyes. I spoke to him constantly, urging him to come back, hoping my voice might make a difference. And even if it didn’t, it certainly made me feel more connected to him.
Which is why, once Delia left the room, I took up where I’d left off, taking Dustin’s hand in my own and squeezing it gently.
“The nurse just checked your vitals and everything is still stable, which is good. There are no signs that you’re coming out of it yet, but I know you like to defy the odds.”
I glanced around the room at the cards placed carefully on available surfaces.
“She’s really nice, Delia. I think you’ll be able to banter with her soon. You just need to fight this.”
I took a breath, swallowing the sudden tightness in my throat.
“I’m sorry, you know. Because you still don’t know that I didn’t send that text. I would never have done something like that, especially over the phone. I might not be brave when it comes to fire, but I’m strong enough to look someone in the eye when I break up with them. Which is most definitely not what I was planning to do. At all.
“Alistair got into my phone—he knew my PIN to get in. I know I should’ve changed after we’d broken up. I just didn’t think that Alistair would ever get my phone in his hands again.”
I definitely blamed myself for that, but I didn’t want to talk about Alistair any longer, so I changed subjects.
“You know, when you left all those years ago, I used to imagine that I’d bump into you one day and you’d see me and think, ‘man, what was I thinking, leaving that woman alone in her bed after that incredible night?’
“Silly, right? But there were so many times I thought I saw you, and it would bring everything back, until it got to the point that I had to lock you away. I built a little corner in my mind and put all of the memories of us inside of it—for a single night, there sure were a lot.”
I swallowed, my throat dry. I took a long drink of the water Delia had brought me before continuing.
“I wish things could’ve been different. I wish you’d been a part of my life for the last five years, but Dustin, if you wake up, I promise you that the next five will be amazing, because we’ll be together. And, who knows, maybe we needed all this time apart to realize how much better life is with each other in it. Deep down, though, I never stopped wishing you’d stayed that morning.”
I laughed, but there wasn’t much humor in it.
“I wish I’d stayed in bed with you the last time, too. Forget the meetings—you should’ve kept me in bed with you all day. No fire, no…this…happening to you.”
Tears welled up. Even though I knew it was Alistair’s fault, I couldn’t help wishing I’d been strong enough to leave the hotel room when he had.
“When you wake up, I promise I am going to do everything I can to get over this fear of fire, because I don’t want you to ever have to go through anything like this again.
“I mean, I know you have to for your work, but you shouldn’t have to go through fire for me. And I promise I’ll be strong enough next time to run, so you’ll never have to risk your life for me like this again. Do you hear me?”
Even though I wasn’t expecting a response, I still hoped he could hear me. I hoped my words were somehow having an effect, that they were sinking past his coma and digging into his psyche so he would know how much he was missed.
Over the past week, there had been a parade of visitors—from his fire department coworkers to friends from his stuntman gigs. No one had been particularly bothered to see me there, a stranger who somehow held on to Dustin as if to keep him from drowning.
They’d all taken it in stride, reminding me over and over how strong Dustin was; that he was a fighter—as if I would ever forget.
So, we sat and waited.
And hoped.
Chapter 23
Dustin
It was night—endless, but not frightening. More like a thick blanket, keeping out the smoke and the fire. It protected me. I sank into its embrace and refused to consider anything else.
I opened my eyes and looked up at the tower looming over me. It was the final test before the interview, and I wanted to beat the current record for the P
hilly fire department, set fifteen years before.
“Hey, Waller. You up for this?”
I looked at the trainer.
“Yes, sir. It’s something I was born for, actually.”
“Ha. Nobody is born to fight fires, Waller. You train for it.”
“Fine. I’ve been training for this since I was a kid.”
He snorted.
“Don’t be cocky, kid.”
I fought back a grin. “No, sir.”
When the whistle rang, I marched determinedly to the base of the tower, picked up thirty-five pounds of bundled cables, and slung the pack on my back. I took a deep breath and hit the first step.
I wasn’t allowed to run, and I had to make sure to hit every single stair on the way up and on the way down. The tower was seven floors tall, and the test wouldn’t be over until I placed the pack right back on the ground where I picked it up, all while being timed.
It was the ultimate test of endurance for both my muscles and cardiovascular system. And, for the past six years, I’d practiced climbing a minimum of ten flights of stairs, six days a week. I was definitely ready.
The first few flights were easy, but I refused to increase my pace. Endurance meant I had to be as strong at the end as I was in the beginning, and going too quickly at first would be a catastrophic error.
I kept my pace smooth and steady as I climbed. I focused on my breathing, keeping it even so I could maintain my current level of activity and remain sharp.
Soon enough, I reached the top. Knowing the instructor was watching me, I made sure to place both feet on the landing just as I’d been instructed before turning to head down.
A woman crouched before me, trembling. Surprised, I froze.
“Hello?” I asked, uncertain at the intrusion.
“Dustin?” she whispered, head tucked into her arms.
I shrugged the pack off and kneeled next to her.
“Do I know you?” I asked.
“The fire… I can’t…” she said, keeping her head down.
I knew exactly what to do. I scooped her up and began jogging down the stairs as quickly as I could.
“I’ll get you to safety, ma’am, never fear,” I reassured her.
“It’s Samantha,” she murmured.
“I’m Dustin. I’m gonna get you out of here, okay?”
She clutched me harder.
“Don’t breathe,” she suddenly begged. “It’s the only way.”
“The only way to what, ma’am?” I asked, utterly confused.
“To stay awake.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look,” she said, pointing.
I followed her pointing finger to see smoke surrounding us. Surprised, I halted on the next landing.
“We can’t keep going. The smoke is too thick.”
“Don’t breathe,” she begged. “Please, Dustin!”
She finally looked up and I stared into the most beautiful face I’d ever seen.
“Samantha?”
“Stay with me. Please.”
“I’m not leaving.”
We stared at each other until smoke completely covered everything.
That’s when the voice came back.
“Your lungs are healing…could wake up anytime… You’ll never believe what happened with work…so many plans… When you wake up…you will, you know…I’m not going anywhere…”
This time, I didn’t want to sleep, I wanted to stay with the voice. I wanted to respond, to say I was listening. I needed to, somehow. But when I tried to call out, the void claimed me once more.
The Liberty Bell sat on the opposite side of the large building in front of us. A wall of glass reflected our images, distorting them until we looked like cartoons.
“There’s no way we can get in there,” she whispered.
I looked down, but didn’t see a face. Only waves of brown hair. But I wasn’t alarmed. I knew her, I realized.
“I know a way,” I said cockily. “Follow me.”
I grabbed her hand and led her around to the side of the building, where a sticker showed it was a fire escape route.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Fireman’s secret.”
I pulled down the ladder built into the wall and climbed up to the landing.
“Come on,” I whispered down to her.
But she was already standing behind me, her presence like a breeze across my skin. I was on the way to being aroused, but I wanted to get inside the center first. Fortunately, the next ladder connected to an alcove, and I lifted the cover on a little box that hung on one side. A number pad waited, and I punched in a quick code. A moment later, I heard a click.
“We’re in!”
“This is so exciting,” she breathed.
I squeezed her hand and led her forward into the dim building. It was night, so the glass windows weren’t helping much and the streetlights were pretty dim from the inside. We clambered over another set of stairs and a railing before reaching the level where the Liberty Bell stood.
Once we were there, I whirled around to look at her.
“Hey,” I whispered.
She looked up at me, but in the darkness, shadows still covered her face. I decided that I wouldn’t let that stop me. Instead, I bent down and pressed my lips to hers.
She responded instantly, moaning and wrapping her arms around me. I grabbed her hips and lifted her up, using the wall to brace her as she wrapped her legs around me. I ground my pelvis into hers, hard and ready for her softness.
“Dustin,” she moaned, kissing my neck.
“You,” I replied awkwardly, unable to summon her name.
But it didn’t matter. I wanted her, and she wanted me, and nothing was going to stop us from being together.
“Dustin,” she whispered again, stiffening and pulling away.
“You don’t need to stop,” I told her, pressing her more fully against me.
She started struggling. Confused, I set her down.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Fire,” she mumbled.
“There’s no…”
My voice trailed off as I looked around. Smoke was billowing around the side of the building from where we’d come.
“Fire,” I whispered, finally understanding.
We couldn’t go back the way we’d came, as the smoke was emanating from that direction, and the wall in front of the Liberty Bell was glass—there was no way I could safely break through it. We’d have to try and make it back to the main entrance.
“We have to go. Now.”
But when I looked back, she was kneeling against the wall, trembling in fear.
Knowing we were running out of time, I didn’t try and talk her out of it. Instead, I scooped her into my arms.
“We’re going to get out of here,” I assured her, wanting her to feel safe.
In response, she circled her arms around my neck and pressed her face into my neck.
“It took my parents,” she cried. “And now it’s coming back for me.”
“Listen, I’m going to get you out,” I attempted to comfort her.
“I’m sorry, Dustin, but you can’t save us both. Not this time.”
“What are you talking about?”
She looked up, then, and for the first time, I could clearly see her face. She was beautiful, and I wanted to stare at her face forever. But the fire was getting closer.
“Dustin, you have to breathe now, okay? Don’t be afraid. Breathe it in. It’s the only way.”
Smoke suddenly billowed around us and her face was lost once more. I tightened my hold on her, only to find she’d disappeared.
Bewildered, I stepped back. I wasn’t in the Liberty Bell Center. I wasn’t…anywhere.
It felt instead like I was living on the edge of fire, or a cloud made of heated smoke. It spread out around me in endless coils, a dragon’s breath that made the air shimmer.
I covered my face and started running, not sure what d
irection I was headed in. But the more I ran, the thicker the smoke became until it felt like I was swimming through it. I stopped, chest heaving, and tried to figure out what to do.
“Dustin.”
I couldn’t give up. I just had to get through the smoke. But it twined around me, tightening its hold, trying to worm its way inside my body.
“You just have to wake up.”
Light flickered around me, edging my vision with the tiniest slice in the smoke. I strained towards it, but I was caught fast. The smoke had me, and there was nothing I could do.
Then, I remembered what she’d said—breathe it in.
The voice was back, stronger now, stronger than it had ever been before.
“When you wake up, I promise I am going to do everything I can to get over this fear of fire…”
I strained towards it, wanting that warmth to stay. I was afraid to lose it again. Who was it? If I could just remember a name…
“…know you have to for your work, but you shouldn’t have to for me. And I promise, I’ll be strong enough next time…”
She. Her. The woman I’d saved…from the tower…from the Liberty Bell. No—from the hotel. I stopped fighting the smoke. Somehow, I finally knew what to do.
“Be strong now, Dustin. Please. So we can go back to our morning and stay in bed, together. I need you. So very much.”
Our morning together. That morning, her hair wild around me as I pulled her down across my body. Her laugh, lighting up the day. Filling me with a sense of rightness I’d never felt with anyone else in my life.
She. Her. Samantha.
I closed my eyes and removed my hand from my mouth and nose. Then, I breathed in, as deeply as I could.
The darkness receded completely, and I slowly cracked open my eyes to find her staring at my hand, which she held tenderly in her grip. I wanted to reassure her more than anything, so, using every ounce of willpower, I squeezed her hand back.
Her reaction was immediate. Just like I remembered, light bloomed from somewhere deep inside her and spread across her face.
“You’re awake!” she whispered.
Tears sparkled in her eyes and began streaming down her face. I lifted my surprisingly heavy arm and brushed some of them away. I didn’t know why she was crying or why I was so weak.