Rake with a Frozen Heart

by Marguerite Kaye

  ‘I’m perfectly all right, all things considered,’ Henrietta said, grateful for his support as she got up from her curtsy, which had made her head swim. ‘And as for the robe, it is very gallant of you to lie, but I know I must look a fright.’

  ‘Frightfully nice, I’d say. And you must believe me, for I am something of an expert in these matters.’

  His haunted look had disappeared. He was smiling now. Not a real smile, not one that reached his eyes, but his mouth turned up at the corners. ‘I think I’ve finally remembered what happened,’ Henrietta said.

  ‘Yes?’ Rafe shook his head, dispelling the ghosts that seemed to have gathered there. ‘It can wait. You look as if you need food.’

  ‘I am hungry—a dog made me miss my dinner.’

  For the second time that morning, Rafe laughed aloud. This time it sounded less rusty. ‘Well, I am happy to inform you that there are no dogs here to make you miss your breakfast,’ he said. The dressing gown gave Henrietta Markham a winsome quality. It gaped at the neck, showing far too much creamy bosom, which she really ought to have had the decency to confine in stays. She looked as if she had just tumbled from his bed. Which in a way, she had. He realised he’d been staring and looked away, slightly disconcerted by the unexpected stirrings of arousal. Desire was usually something he could conjure up or dispense with at will.

  Helping her into a seat, he sat down opposite, keeping his eyes resolutely on the food in front of him. He would feed her, find out where she had sprung from and return her there forthwith. Then he would sleep. And after that he must return to town. The meeting with his grandmother could not be postponed indefinitely. An immense malaise, grey and heavy as a November sky, loomed over him at the thought.

  So he would not think of it. He need not, not just yet, while he had the convenient distraction of the really quite endearing Henrietta Markham sitting opposite him, in his dressing gown, with her tale to tell. Rafe poured her some coffee and placed a generous helping of ham on to her plate along with a baked egg and some bread and butter, helping himself to a mound of beef and a tankard of ale. ‘Eat, before you faint with hunger.’

  ‘This looks delicious,’ she said, gazing at her loaded plate with relish.

  ‘It is just breakfast.’

  ‘Well, I’ve never had such a nice breakfast,’ Henrietta said chirpily, at the same time, thinking be quiet! She was not usually a female who wittered, yet she sounded uncommonly like one this morning. Nerves. Yet she was not usually one to allow nerves to affect her behaviour. Off balance. He disconcerted her, that’s what it was. The situation. The dressing gown. The man. Definitely the man. This man, who was telling her, with a quizzical look that meant she’d either been muttering to herself or allowing her thoughts to be read quite clearly on her face, that it would be a nice cold breakfast unless she made a start on it.

  She picked up her fork. Was he just teasing, or did he think she was an idiot? She sounded like an idiot. He had the ability to make her feel like one. Taking a bite of deliciously soft egg, she studied him covertly from under her lashes. The dark shadows were clearer now in the bright morning light that streamed through the windows. He had a strained look about his mouth. She ate some more egg and cut into a slice of York ham. He was edgy, too. Even when he smiled, it was as if he were simply going through the motions.

  Clearly not happy, then. Why not, she wondered, when he had so much more than most? She longed to ask, but another glance at that countenance, and the question stuck in her throat. More than anything, Henrietta decided, what Rafe St Alban was, was opaque. She had no idea what he was thinking. It made her want, all the more, to know, yet still—quite unusually, for Henrietta had been encouraged from a very early age to speak her mind—she hesitated.

  A tiny frisson, this time excitement mingled with fear, caused goose bumps to rise on the back of her neck. He was not just intimidating. He was intimidatingly attractive. What was it about him that made her feel like this? Fascinated and frightened and—as if she were a rabbit faced with a particularly tasty treat, though she knew full well it was bait. She was beginning to see Rafe St Alban’s reputation might well be deserved, after all. If he set his mind to something, she would be difficult to resist.

  She shivered again and told herself not to be so foolish. He would not set his mind on her! And even if he did, knowing the type of man he was, being fully aware of his lack of morals, she would have no difficulty at all in resisting him. Not that he had made any such attempt, nor was likely to.

  More to the point, why was she wasting her time thinking about such things? She had much more important matters to attend to now that she remembered the shocking events of last night. Even before that, she must attend to her stomach, else she would be fainting away, and Henrietta, who prided herself on her pragmatism, would not allow herself such an indulgence. With resolution, she turned her attention more fully to her breakfast.

  Chapter Two

  When they had finished eating, Rafe stood up. ‘Bring your coffee. We’ll sit by the fire, it will be more comfortable there. Then you can tell me your tale.’

  Awkwardly arranging the multitudinous folds of silk around her in the wing-backed chair, Henrietta did as instructed. Across from her, Rafe St Alban disposed his long limbs gracefully, crossing one booted foot over the other. She could see the muscles of his legs move underneath the tight-fitting material of his knitted pantaloons. Such unforgiving cloth would not show to advantage on a stouter man. Or a thinner one. Or one less well built.

  ‘I’m a governess,’ she announced, turning her mind to the thing most likely to distract her from unaccustomed thoughts of muscled thighs, ‘to the children of Lady Ipswich, whose grounds march with yours.’

  ‘They do, but we are not on calling terms.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘It is of no relevance.’

  Anyone else would have been daunted by his tone, but Henrietta’s curiosity was aroused, which made her quite oblivious. ‘But you are neighbours, surely you must—is it because she is a widow? Did you perhaps call when her husband was alive?’

  ‘Lord Ipswich was more of an age with my father,’ Rafe said curtly.

  ‘He must have been quite a bit older than his wife, then. I didn’t realise. I suppose I just assumed… .’

  ‘As you are wont to do,’ Rafe said sardonically.

  She looked at him expectantly. Her wide-eyed gaze was disconcerting. Her mouth was quite determined. Rafe sighed heavily, unused to dealing with such persistent questioning. ‘His lordship passed away under what one might call somewhat dubious circumstances, and I decided not to continue the acquaintance with his widow.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Really,’ Rafe said, wishing he had said nothing at all. The poor innocent obviously had no idea of her employer’s colourful past and he had no intention of disclosing it to her. ‘How came you to be in Helen Ipswich’s employ?’ he asked, in an attempt to divert her.

  ‘There was a notice in The Lady. I happened to be looking for a position and Mama said that it all looked quite respectable, so I applied.’

  ‘Your previous position was terminated?’

  ‘Oh, no, this is my first experience as a governess, though not, I hope, my last,’ Henrietta said with one of her confiding smiles. ‘I am going to be a teacher, you see, and I wished to gain some practical experience before the school opened.’ Her smile faded. ‘Though from what Mama says in her latest letter, that will be quite some time away.’

  ‘Your mother is opening a school?’

  ‘Mama and Papa together—’ Henrietta frowned ‘—at least, that is the plan, but I have to confess their plans have a habit of going awry. The school is to be in Ireland, a charitable project for the poor. Papa is a great philanthropist, you see.’

  Henrietta waited expectantly, but Rafe St Alban did not seem to have a burning need to comment on Papa’s calling. ‘The problem is that while his intentions are always of the best, I’m afraid he is not very
practical. He has more of a care for the soul than the body and cannot be brought to understand that, without sustenance and warmth, the poor have more pressing needs than their spiritual health, nor any interest in raising their minds to higher things. Like statues of St Francis. Or making a tapestry celebrating the life of St Anthony—he is the patron saint of the poor, you know. I told Papa that they would be better occupied making blankets,’ Henrietta said darkly, too taken up with her remembered resentment to realise that she was once again rambling, ‘but he did not take my suggestion kindly. Mama, of course, agreed with him. Mama believes that distracting the poor from their situation is the key, but honestly, how can one be distracted when one is starving, or worried that one is expecting another child when one cannot feed the other five already at home? The last thing one would want to do is stitch a figure of St Anthony voyaging to Portugal!’

  ‘I don’t expect many of the poor even know where Portugal is,’ Rafe said pointedly. Papa and Mama Markham sounded like the kind of do-gooders he despised.

  ‘Precisely,’ Henrietta said vehemently, ‘and even if they did—are you laughing at me?’

  ‘Would you mind if I were?’

  ‘No. Only I didn’t think what I was saying was particularly droll.’

  ‘It was the way you were saying it. You are very earnest.’

  ‘I have to be, else I will never be heard.’

  ‘So, while Mama and Papa pray for souls, you make soup—is that right?’

  ‘There is nothing wrong with being practical.’

  ‘No, there is not. If only there was more soup and less sermons in the world… .’

  ‘My parents mean well.’

  ‘I’m sure they do, but my point is that meaning well is not the same as doing well. I come across many such people and—’

  ‘I was not aware you had a reputation for philanthropy.’

  ‘No, as you pointed out,’ Rafe said coldly, ‘my reputation primarily concerns my raking. Now you will tell me that one precludes the other.’

  ‘Well, doesn’t it?’ Henrietta demanded. Seeing his face tighten, she hesitated. ‘What I mean is, being a rake presupposes one is immoral and—’ She broke off as Rafe’s expression froze. ‘You know, I think perhaps I’ve strayed from the point a little. Are you saying that you are involved in charitable work?’

  She was clearly sceptical. He told himself it didn’t matter a damn what she thought. ‘I am saying the world is not as black and white as either you or your parents seem to think.’ His involvement with his own little project at St Nicholas’s was extremely important to him, but he did not consider it to be charitable. With some difficulty, Rafe reined in his temper. What was it about this beguiling female that touched so many raw nerves? ‘You were telling me about the school your parents want to set up.’

  ‘Yes.’ Henrietta eyed him uncertainly. ‘Have I said something to offend you?’

  ‘The school, Miss Markham.’

  ‘Well, if—when—it opens I intend to be able to contribute in a practical sense by teaching lessons.’ Practical lessons, she added to herself, remembering Mama’s curriculum with a shudder.

  ‘Lessons which you are trying out on Helen Ipswich’s brats?’

  ‘They are not brats,’ Henrietta said indignantly. ‘They are just high-spirited boys. I’m sure you were the same at their age, wanting to be out riding rather than attending to your studies, but—’

  ‘At their age, my father was actively encouraging me to go out riding and ignore my lessons,’ Rafe said drily. ‘My tendency to bury my head in a book sorely disconcerted him.’

  ‘Goodness, were you a scholar?’

  ‘Another thing that you consider incompatible with being a rake, Miss Markham?’

  He was looking amused again. She couldn’t keep pace with his mood swings, but she couldn’t help responding to his hint of a smile with one of her own. ‘Well, to cut a long story short, which I’m sure you’ll be most relieved to hear I intend to do, I like being a governess and I like the boys, even if their mama is a little—well—high-handed. Not that I really see that much of her, governesses clearly meriting scant attention. Anyway, I’m sure there are worse employers, and the boys do like me, and if—when—the school is opened, I am sure the experience will stand me in good stead. It is due to do so in three months or so, by which time my current charges are destined for boarding school, anyway, so hopefully they won’t miss me too much. Not anything like as much as I shall miss them.’

  ‘There, we must agree. Small boys, in my experience, are remarkably fickle in their loyalties.’

  ‘Do you think so?’ Henrietta asked brightly. ‘I think that’s a good thing, for I would not wish them to become too attached to me. What experience have you of such things? Have you brothers?’

  ‘No.’

  His face was closed again, his expression shuttered. ‘I take it, then, that life as Helen Ipswich’s governess has fulfilled your expectations?’

  ‘Yes, it has served its purpose admirably.’

  ‘How fortunate for you. Now, if you don’t mind, we will return to the more pressing subject of how you came to be in my ditch, then you may return to these duties you enjoy so much. No doubt your employer will be wondering what has become of you.’

  ‘That is true. And the boys, too.’ Though the notion of returning to Lady Ipswich’s home was less appealing than it should be. Another of a rake’s skills, no doubt, to beguile you and make you want to spend time in his company. Henrietta sat up straight and tugged at the dressing-gown belt. ‘Well, then, to return to the subject, as you wish. Last night. Well, what happened last night was that I was knocked on the head by a housebreaker.’

  ‘A housebreaker!’

  Gratified by her host’s reaction, which was for once just exactly what she had anticipated, Henrietta nodded vigorously. ‘Yes, indeed. At least,’ she added, incurably truthful, ‘I am almost certain that is what he was, though I didn’t actually see him steal anything. I was looking for Lady Ipswich’s horrible dog, you see.’

  ‘The dog who deprived you of your dinner?’

  ‘The very same. I heard a noise coming from the shrubbery, so I went to investigate it, thinking, you know, it might be Princess—that’s the pug’s name—and then I heard glass breaking. I held up the lantern and saw him as clear as day for just a split second, then he leapt at me and hit me on the head. The next thing I remember is waking up here.’

  Rafe shook his head slowly. ‘But that’s nonsensical. Even if it was a housebreaker, why on earth would he go to the trouble of taking you with him? It takes time and effort to heft a body on to a horse.’

  Henrietta coloured. ‘I am aware that I am not exactly a featherweight.’

  ‘That is not at all what I meant. It is women who consider stick-thinness the essence of beauty. Men actually prefer quite the opposite. I find your figure most pleasing on the eye.’ Rafe was not in the habit of encouraging young ladies with compliments, for they were likely to be misconstrued, but Henrietta Markham was so different from any young lady he had ever met that he spoke without considering the effect his words would have. ‘It was no hardship to get you on to my horse. I meant merely it would be awkward if the man were slight, or elderly.’

  Or one less muscled, Henrietta thought, her gaze lingering on her host’s powerful physique. It hadn’t occurred to her until now to wonder how, exactly, he had retrieved her from the ditch. Had he pulled her by the wrist or the ankle? Held her chest to chest, or maybe thrown her over his shoulders? And when she was on his horse, was she on her front with her bottom sticking up? With her petticoats on show? Her ankles? Worse? Feigning heat from the fire, she frantically fanned her face.

  Rafe followed the train of her thoughts with relative ease, mirrored as they were in her expressive face, recognising the exact moment when she tried to imagine how she had been placed on Thor’s saddle. Unfortunately, it turned his mind also to that moment. He had lain her crossways on her stomach with her bottom
pointed provocatively up to the sky. Her dress had ridden up a little, exposing her ankles and calves. At the time, he had not been aware of noticing. Yet now, in his mind’s eye, he found he could dwell appreciatively on the inviting curves of her voluptuous body as if he had drunk in every inch of her.

  ‘Why,’ he said tersely, reining in his imagination, once again disconcerted by having to do so, ‘having gone to all that effort to abduct you, did your housebreaker then change his mind and abandon you in my grounds?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Henrietta replied. ‘It doesn’t make any sense, I can see that. Perhaps he had evil designs upon my person and then changed his mind when he got a better look at me,’ she said with a wry smile.

  ‘If that was the case, then his taste was quite at fault,’ Rafe said impulsively, bestowing upon her his real smile.

  It quite transformed his face. Henrietta blushed rosily, but even as she struggled for a response, the smile was gone, as if a cloud had covered the sun. Utterly confused, she folded her arms defensively. ‘You don’t really believe a word I’ve said, do you?’

  The dressing gown gaped. Rafe caught a glimpse of creamy flesh spilling from a plain white cotton undergarment. The rake in him would have allowed his glance to linger. He wanted to look, but it was his wanting that made him look resolutely away. Nothing touches you any more. The memory of his friend Lucas’s words made Rafe smile bitterly to himself. True, thank God, if you didn’t count the all-pervading guilt. He had worked very hard to ensure it was so and that was exactly how he intended it to continue. Wanting was no longer part of his emotional make-up. Wanting Henrietta Markham, he told himself sternly, was completely out of the question.

  ‘You have to admit that it sounds a tall tale,’ he said to her, his voice made more dismissive by the need to offset his thoughts, ‘but my opinion is of little importance. I would have thought the more pressing issue for you is whether or not Lady Ipswich believes you.’ He got to his feet purposefully. Henrietta Markham had been a very beguiling distraction, but the time had come to put an end to this extraordinary interlude and for them both to return to the real world. ‘I will arrange for you to be taken back in my carriage. Your dress should be dry by now.’ He pulled the bell rope to summon the housekeeper.