by Unknown
“Yes,” Naye smiled and ushered the man down the road. “I know yours as well, Robert. Go now, you'll find a hot meal there.”
“What the hell is this?” I asked with horror. “Where have you really brought me?”
“This is the Navajo reservation,” Toby said sadly. “And this only the beginning.”
The twins walked me down a dirt road and up to one of the little homes. Naye knocked on the door and it made a hollow sound, like it wasn't a proper front door. A tired-looking woman answered but when she saw the brothers, she fell to her knees, crying out in her language. Naye answered her in the same language and helped her to her feet. The woman nodded excitedly and then set her eyes on me.
She began to cry.
“Hey, whoa now,” I held a hand out to her and she dropped to her knees again. “Easy there,” I went down with her. “Are you alright? Can I help you?”
“Atahensic,” she clutched at my hands. “You're here to save us. The twin gods said you'd come. You'll free our people from this living death.”
“I... uh,” I looked back up at the boys. Toby looked troubled but Naye was beaming. “I'll do what I can.”
“Show her,” Naye said to the woman. “Show her how our people live.”
“Atahensic,” she whispered again and stood. “They took our land from us and gave us the worst places to live. They gave power to some of us, power over the rest, and turned our people against one another. They tell us to work but the jobs are only in the cities and they are too far to get to by foot. We have no car, no way of getting to a job, much less of finding one. We're dependent upon the little money they throw at us every month. We survive on their scraps, horrible unhealthy food they hand out to us. It makes us sick, makes us fat, and weakens us,” she waved a hand to a group of people behind her. Far too many people to be living in such a small house.
They were all beautifully Navajo, with striking features and dark eyes, but those eyes were haunted, staring at me as if unwilling to give in to hope. Even the toddler playing on the bare floor stared at me with a bleak expression. The cloth toy in her hand was so worn that I couldn't tell what it was supposed to be.
“Show her your home, please,” Naye touched the woman's hand.
“Come,” she said to me, her own eyes hopeful though they were rimmed in red. “This is where we sleep,” a small room filled with mattresses. On one of them a baby slept, wrapped in a colorful but ratty blanket. “My sister had nowhere to go, so we took her and her family in. We have no running water, no plumbing, no stove to cook on.”
“What?” I gaped at her. “How do you prepare your food?”
“We use propane or sometimes just build a fire,” she shrugged. “We have no electricity either. No telephone. There's no cell phone service here, even if we could afford it. We've been tossed into an abyss, my goddess. A prison that there's no way out of. They've caged the wolf and fed him scraps till he gave up the fight. We are a beaten wolf but our hearts are still wild, still proud. Help us, please.”
I was crying, tears pouring down my cheeks while I clung to her hands like she could save me. Take it back, tell me its all a lie. Please tell me we didn't do this to other humans, our own countrymen. That America didn't have oppression hidden inside its loving arms. We were the land of the free, weren't we?
“This is not an uncommon household,” Naye's hand fell on my shoulder. “More than half the people here live like this. The government gives them small checks monthly, just enough to scrape by, way below the poverty level that the Government itself has set. They hand out food to the Navajo to ease their conscious but the food is starchy, fatty, processed junk that gives them diabetes and makes them overweight. Everything is done to keep them oppressed and no one seems to know about it. If they do, they don't care.”
“I care,” I whispered to the woman. “What's your name?”
“Sarah,” she said.
“I won't forget you, Sarah,” I glanced back at Naye, “no matter what happens. I promise.”
“Thank you, Atahensic,” she nodded, a serene look coming over her features. Such faith. In a goddess who was dead.
A flash of shifting hair, feathers braided in. A laugh. The cry of a baby. The light of the moon. I gasped as disjointed memories washed over me. Atahensic's not mine. The sound of drums filled my ears, my chest, my heart. Chanting. Swirling skirts as I danced around a fire. Power rising up inside me. You are the light to lead them home. A voice whispered in my head. Be their goddess again.
I fainted.
When I woke up, I was in a round room full of women. Metal bunk beds lined the walls and children with dirty hands and feet crawled over the linoleum floor. Wounded eyes stared at me. Eyes bruised by lack of sleep and the application of fists. I felt an instant connection to them. I'd seen those eyes before, in my own mirror. No, that was Atahensic. I shook my head free of her.
I sat up with the help of the twins. They'd laid me in one of the beds and the metal springs squeaked horribly when I moved. It reminded me of the cheap bunkbeds you'd find at summer camp when you're a child. Beds made to last but never intended for long-term use. Temporary, everything in the room seemed to have that feel to it. Even the slightly astringent scent in the air seemed to say that this was a place you came to in desperation and hopefully, only for a little while.
“Where are we?” I asked as a child started to cry. His mother went over to him and picked him up, shushing him gently.
“The Home for Women and Children,” Toby said. “A shelter for abused women and their children.”
“Poverty increases crime,” Naye said as he helped me stand. “The people turn to drugs and alcohol for solace and this in turn leads to domestic abuse.”
“A Native American woman has a one in three chance of being sexually assaulted in her lifetime,” Toby said grimly, “and the tribal courts are lenient on abusers. In order for the federal government to step in, there must be a history of abuse shown and convictions in tribal courts often don't count in federal.”
“Why not?” I asked, aghast.
“The tribal courts don't have the money to provide free counsel to the accused,” Naye explained. “In federal court, a man tried without due representation has not been given proper justice and so any verdict against him is invalid.”
“These are the lucky ones,” Toby picked up a little girl with scraggly dark hair. She clapped her chubby hands around his face and giggled. “They were able to get into the shelter.”
“There's many more who don't come forward,” Naye continued. “Or who are turned away for lack of room.”
“Stop,” I shook my head, the tears rising again. “Just please stop.”
“You can't ignore this,” Naye growled and the little girl Toby was holding started to cry. Toby kissed her forehead and gave her back to her mother.
“I don't want to ignore it,” I snapped at Naye. “I want to change it but war isn't the answer.”
“It's the only answer,” Naye insisted. “People have tried to change this. Over and over changes have been implemented but the tribal leaders are corrupt. They hold the land in trust for the people and they don't want to give up that power. They make deals with companies to allow dumping of toxic waste on tribal land and line their pockets with blood money. They could give the land to the people in truth, give them ownership, which would give them a chance to acquire loans, perhaps start a business, but that would mean giving up millions of dollars in government funding. So they oppress their own people.”
“So what are you going to do?” I pushed him away from me. “Kill the leaders? Destroy the US Government?”
“We'll start with the corrupt leaders here,” Naye nodded, “and then we'll move upwards. This nation will be ours once more. Help us reclaim it. You can save them,” he waved a hand back towards the women and children.
“Not like that,” I shook my head. “A corrupt man still doesn't deserve to die. Punished maybe but not sentenced to death.”
&
nbsp; “We are gods, Atahensic,” Naye lifted his head proudly. “We have the right to call for death.”
“You're not a god,” I growled. “You're an Atlantean elevated through magic and technology. You have power over these people only because they believe you do.”
“What else is a god but a man of magic?” Naye spread his hands out. “You know as well as I that we are gods, Godhunter. The way we became gods doesn't matter. The humans entrusted us with power over them and we take that responsibility very seriously. I think that's more than you'll find with the other gods.”
“At least you didn't call me Atahensic that time,” I rolled my eyes.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
When we returned from the Navajo reservation, Naye asked me if I was ready to take back my old magic and truly become Atahensic. I politely declined. Well, what I actually said was he could shove it where the sun don't shine but then I realized that for him, the sun might actually shine there too and so I amended it to a nice, classic F you.
His reply had been to strip me down to my new underwear and tie me back on that damn cross. Oh so many jokes about crosses and the irony of a goddess being up on one of them. But no one was there to hear them since Naye had promptly went inside his little cave/house and left me to roast alone.
When he returned that night, I satisfied myself with a classic; “Turn me over, this side is done.” Which he didn't find humorous and which I didn't either after I realized the accuracy of my joke. He'd left me out there in one position for so long that my front was darker than my back. So the next morning, when he took me out to sunbathe again, I asked him if he could strap me backside out.
He'd blinked in shock and then huffed a little laugh. Damn if he didn't do it too. So I spent the whole day having my back fried. Which actually isn't as bad as the front option. At least I could rest my face against one of the poles and the sun wasn't burning through my eyelids. My lips also fared better too, so I was in higher spirits when Toby came to take me down.
“Is it time already?” I eyed him.
“Naye's gone again,” Toby eased me down into his arms. “I thought you might want some lunch.”
“Sure,” I laughed, “if I can eat it on my stomach. My ass is on fire.”
“Your ability to laugh during trauma is quite impressive,” he said as he carried me inside.
“I've heard that before,” I nodded sagely. “Now tell me how pretty I am.”
He gave a surprised bark of laughter before setting me down on a kitchen chair. I hissed and adjusted till I was comfortable. He put a glass of water in front of me and then went to the oven. Out came a roasted side of beef. I started salivating immediately.
“Oh, by all that's holy, thank you,” I sighed as he cut a piece for me and put it on my plate. “I was getting so tired of chicken.”
“Naye thinks that feeding you the same thing every night adds to the torture,” Toby heaped some mashed potatoes on my plate.
“He's right,” I dug in, especially happy that I'd been put face down that day.
“Do you truly not want to join our cause after seeing the truth of the situation?”
“Oh, this is a business lunch, is it?” I sighed. “I want to help those people. I really do. It's heartbreaking to see the squalor they live in. To see what my government has done to them and what I've been blind to.”
“But?”
“But I still don't believe the answer is to become a murdering mob,” I shrugged. “There has to be a better solution.”
“We've tried to help them for years,” Toby shook his head. “We've tried to influence them to better themselves, tried to influence the tribal leaders to do what's right for their people. We've even tried to influence government officials but nothing has helped. Drastic measures must be taken or our people will live and die in this hell.”
“Listen to you,” I shook my head. “You've drunk your own Kool-Aid... or water, I guess,” I gave a little chuckle.
“You saw exactly what I did,” he shook his head. “You know it's the truth.”
“It's not the truth that we disagree on,” I swallowed hard. “Either way, I can't be Atahensic. Not for Naye. Not for you,” that bit came out a little softer than I'd intended so I cleared my throat before I continued. “Not even for the Native Americans. I am Vervain Lavine and no amount of hardship or torture will change that.”
“I understand,” Toby nodded. “I don't think I could become someone else either. Not even to save an entire race.”
“My becoming her wouldn't save them,” I shook my head at his reverse psychology. “You need more than a moon goddess on your side.”
“You're wrong,” he said serenely. “If you become Atahensic and you join with Naye, the powers of the sun and moon will be connected. That kind of partnership is unbeatable. You will compound each other's magic and have enough strength to lead our people to victory.”
“I'm not sure I like the sound of joining with Naye,” I narrowed my eyes on him. “Does that mean what I think it means?”
“Sex?” Toby lifted a brow at me, his eyes dark with an emotion I wasn't able to discern. “Of course. There's no easier way to connect two souls, two powers. Two people become one in a very physical way and it urges their magics to do the same. Simple.”
“Not simple,” I groaned. “The last man I want to have sex with is Nayenezgani.”
“Oh?” The darkness flickered in Toby's eyes.
“Well, maybe Zeus would rank last but Naye would be a close second,” I amended.
“I wish this situation was different,” Toby's voice went serious. “For so many reasons.”
We looked at each other. Just stared. There was something moving between us, some flutter of emotion that was just another horrible complication to this whole mess. I knew I should use his feelings, maybe try to twist him against his brother, but I'd developed enough of my own toward him to rebel against that thought. Tobadzistsini was a good man. In so many ways. I wouldn't hurt him like that.
So I broke eye contact and looked away.
“But things are as they are,” he continued in a resigned tone. “And my people need you to be with Naye. That's enough for me.”
“Well bully for you,” I huffed. “It's not enough for me.”
“I know,” he sighed, “and I'm so sorry.”
“For what?” I asked as my vision started to go wonky. “What did you do to me?”
“I enhanced your water again,” Toby caught me as I fell. “I can't watch you suffer anymore, I've come close to hurting my own brother over you, but I can't let you go either. My people need you. I'm so sorry, Vervain but you must become Atahensic. It will hurt me to do this but I must submerge the old you so that she may rise to the surface.”
Then the water rushed over me and I flailed against it as I sank.
Chapter Thirty
I couldn't focus. Everything was blurry. My mind was blurry. The mental wall I'd built around Atahensic's memories was gone and they were rushing through me with a desperate need for survival. I knew I should fight them, try and resist, but I just didn't have the strength. I didn't have the will.
A chill seeped through me and I felt myself pull away. Not just from myself but from everything. Life. Love. Laughter. It all felt different, outside of me. I became more of an observer than a participant, as distant as the moon. Still, I wasn't distant enough to escape the memories.
A rough hand at my throat. A voice raised in anger. Running, my heart thudding in my chest. A man appears, smile gentle, eyes as bright as the sun. He helps me, gives me solace. A touch of his feather heals my wounds. Wounds that my husband inflicted upon me. He begs me not to return but I must. I am the Moon and I belong in Heaven. Even if that heaven is really a hell.
He says he is the Sun and we can make a home together on earth. If he can live outside the heavens, then maybe so can I. I leave him but I can't stay away. I return, over and over, to his kind hands and sweet kisses. The grass is soft beneath me and
his hands are hot on my cool skin. Just a little warmth to awaken me, to ground me. I close my eyes and give in to the pleasure. Relief and joy fill me as I finally decide to be with him. Nayenezgani. Sun to my moon. We will build a new Heaven and our children will rule the sky.
My belly is full, rounding with Naye's babes, when I finally tell my husband the truth. I thought the babes would protect me, that no man was monster enough to beat a pregnant woman, but I'd forgotten that I was married to a god, not a man. He hits my face first, splitting open my cheek and knocking me down. Then he begins to kick me in the stomach and I curl up into a ball to protect the babies. I never would have risked them if I'd thought he was capable of this and it's that thought that drives me to my feet. The thought that I brought them into danger and it was my responsibility to get them away from it.
I run but he chases me. A crack appears in the floor of Heaven and then I'm falling, cast out. The earth hits like a man, breaking my spine and forcing me into early labor. The pain is overwhelming and I give birth to not just one but two boys. As I bring the last one forth, Naye's brother finds me. He says he'll fetch Naye but I beg him not to leave me. I can't move my legs, all I can do is clutch my crying babes.
He finally leaves despite my protests and as he disappears into the forest, I know I'll never see him again. I'll never see Nayenezgani either. My children will never know me. The Moon has fallen and shattered upon the Earth. I feel my magic curling up inside me, condensing to protect itself. Something is wrong. My immortality won't save me this time. I look down upon my children and kiss their foreheads. Black tufts of hair so soft against my broken face.
“Be strong,” I whisper to them, “for you are children of the sky, born of Sun and Moon. One of you shall bring the light while the other shall bring the dark. Opposite but the same. You shall join Heaven to Earth, no longer will they be separated. I love you both so much.”
With a smile, I realized that I did love them. Motherhood. How strange that creating life could warm a heart. This feeling was beyond what I felt for Naye. This was beyond anything I'd ever felt for anyone and I didn't even know these babies. Yet there it was. Some magical connection between us. A force that couldn't be denied, couldn't be drawn away from, even by the moon.