by Unknown
One last kiss and I faded away but I didn't disappear this time. I knew I'd died and yet there I was. Another body. Another chance. I'd been brought back to save my people and be with my children. I could hold them and tell them how much I loved them. I could hold Nayenezgani again. Happiness filled me.
“Atahensic?” It was Nayenezgani.
“Nayenezgani,” I rubbed at my eyes and strong hands helped me sit up. When my vision cleared, he was there, smiling, his eyes as bright as I remembered. “It is you.”
“Yes,” his smile went radiant. “And it is you.”
“How? How am I here?” I glanced to the side and saw my body. “Naye?”
“You are reborn, my Moon,” his hands went to my arms. “But we have an amulet that will return your power to you. I've kept your magic safe all these years, waiting for you to come back to me.”
“An endless hoop,” I said softly and touched his cheek.
“Here we are, back at the beginning,” he kissed me and I was alive again, some of his warmth seeping into my cold skin.
Then he pulled away and I saw Tobadzistsini. I gave him a little smile.
“Tobadzistsini?” I held a hand out to him.
“Atahensic?” He was staring at me oddly. “Are you truly her?”
“Who else would I be?” I lifted my chin and cocked my head at him. Toby had always been a little confusing for me. He seemed way too flippant for a god of darkness. Darkness should be serious. Sedate. Like my moon.
“No one,” Naye glanced at his brother. “Here, love, let me put this on you,” he held up an emerald pendant.
It was huge, an oval jewel the size of the top of my thumb. It had a thick gold band around it, making it even larger, and it was strung on a heavy gold chain. Naye placed it around my neck and the emerald hung directly over my heart. My hand went to it automatically, like I'd touched it a million times before. I frowned as I saw flashes of a bearded man with beautiful eyes putting it on me.
“What is this?” I asked Naye.
“You can use it to pull the magic from your old body and bring it into your new one,” he gestured to the empty shell that was once me. “Do it now, my Moon.”
“I...” I frowned, something curling within my belly. Fear. I knew that feeling too well to disregard it.
“Don't you trust me?” Naye looked hurt.
“Of course,” I immediately reassured him but my words sounded cold, even for me, so I added, “I trust no one more.”
“Then close your eyes and focus on your magic,” he urged. “Can you feel it? It should be right there, waiting for you.”
I did as he bid and yes, there it was, shining like the moon itself inside the chest of my old body. It called to me, reaching out its glowing tendrils to my new self. It wanted to come home, to be used again, to be woken. It was tired of slumbering inside a shell. It wanted to be released.
I tried to use the emerald to pull the magic to me but it stayed dormant on my chest. Again I concentrated on it, attempted to feel something, anything, through it. There was nothing. It was just an emerald, nothing magical to it at all.
“It's not working,” I said to Naye.
“It has to,” Naye started to look frantic.
“We must release some of her witch magic,” Toby offered.
“What will that do to Ata?” Naye's expression worried me.
“I'm not sure but it's the only choice we've got,” Toby said grimly.
“Then do it,” Naye said.
“Do what?” I finally asked.
“Just drink this, Ata,” Toby offered me a cup of water.
“What is it?” I peered into the clear liquid suspiciously.
“It will help you get your magic back,” Naye laid a hand comfortingly on my shoulder.
I nodded and took the cup. The water was sweet and as I drank it, I felt a little zip of power race to my chest. Something opened up within me, a surge of magic, a spark of heat. I glimpsed a face, dark eyes similar to mine and yet so very different. Then she was gone. Suddenly I felt a connection with the emerald. It grew warm, like a thing alive.
I felt it pulse and asked it to bring the moon magic to me. To free it from its prison and bring it back to life inside me, where it belonged. Immediately, the connection to my magic grew stronger and I felt as if I could hold it within my mind. I gripped it tight and pulled. Pulled and pulled until suddenly, it all came rushing into me. I fell back under the weight of it.
Then the moon rose inside me. I was bathed in her soft light. Unlike the sun, she didn't blind. You could stare on her pale beauty for hours and she would never hurt you. Hers was a gentle light, a guiding beacon that had never steered me wrong. I would use her to lead my people now. Together we would conquer those that opposed us. We would never fall from Heaven again.
I opened my eyes, sat up, and felt the magic course through me. Naye and Toby looked upon me with awed expressions, their eyes filled with hope, and I knew my own eyes were shining with the silver of the moon. I blinked again and felt the magic ease back into me, my eyes returning to normal. The Moon preferred to hide until she was needed.
“Atahensic,” Naye whispered as he fell to his knees before me. “I've dreamt of this moment. Of when I would hold you again. My goddess, my Moon. I love you so much.”
“And I, you,” I put my hands to his cheeks and leaned down to kiss him.
When I straightened, Toby was staring at me with the strangest mixture of emotions. So strange, in fact, that I couldn't tell one from the other. Something echoed inside me with his look, something clanging with the ring of disaster, and a horrible realization hit me. This new body had its own wants and needs, its own ideas of what happiness was and who we could find that happiness with.
And it wasn't Nayenezgani.
Chapter Thirty-One
“Toby,” I reached over and steadied his shaking hand before he poured tea everywhere. “It's a simple question. What happened between you and I. This new I. I feel something for you while at the same time my feelings for Nayenezgani are diminishing. They drift away like smoke on the wind. I can't hold onto them and like the fire beneath that smoke, my feelings for you are burning ever brighter. It's a rather strange sensation for me actually,” I frowned. “The moon doesn't feel things like this. She leaves the heat to the sun.”
Burning. Fire. Those words pierced my heart briefly and a roar vibrated through my bones. I gasped and fell back into my chair. Toby dropped the kettle to the table with a clatter and rushed to my side. His hands stroked the sides of my face as his blue-brown eyes were replaced by glowing yellow orbs. I was shocked to realize they weren't Naye's eyes. No, these eyes had slit pupils like a cat's. Like a...
“Dragon,” I whispered and a shiver went through me.
My eyes filled with tears and images started pouring through the crack my emotions had made in my mind. The eyes panned back to reveal an inhuman face. Sharp angles and tilted eyes, scales of red at his temples to match the blood red hair that fell straight to his shoulders. Then he smiled and my whole world stopped.
Love. This was love between a man and a woman. I didn't even know who this stranger was. If he were god or mortal. Or maybe some unknown other. It didn't matter. My heart knew him, was full of him. This was what love was. What it could be. What I'd been feeling for Tobadzistsini wasn't love, not yet. Though it was more than I'd ever felt for Nayenezgani, it wasn't this raging wealth of feeling I knew for the red-haired stranger. Affection, the beginning of something, yes, but not the culmination. It was a bud not a bloom.
Those dragon eyes were love in full glory. They were the fragrant flower in eternal display. A rose that would never wither. But there were more flowers in my garden, it seemed. Yellow eyes warmed to golden honey. Sharp features softened and yet became more rugged. Where the last face was cruel elegance, this one was earthly delight. Dark lashes rimmed those eyes, dark hair swept back from his forehead, and dark stubble edged his jaw. Something wild lurked about him, the s
hadow of the moon upon his soul.
Again, my heart clenched with the knowledge that I loved this man, and I reeled. How could a love so great be given to more than one man? Impossible. You can't love that completely and yet be unfaithful to it. Could you? I guess I didn't actually know. These feelings felt as new and foreign to me as they did old and comfortable. Was I an unfaithful woman? I'd been unfaithful before and that hadn't bothered me. Why would it bother me now? Was I lover to both of these men? A gentle wave of calm descended and I knew I was. Even more surprising was, I knew it was right. Good. Real. Natural.
And there was more.
Black fur sliding through my fingers, hands clenching in a lion's mane. A majestic beast who was more than animal, more than man. A combination of the two. Blue eyes more brilliant than any I'd ever seen, stared out of that lion face. Too human, too full of knowledge and pain... and love. My body convulsed as he shifted, fur receding into skin, eyes becoming fully human. Black hair as deep as midnight draped him like a cloak. The length of a woman's hair, past his hips, and yet the body beneath was all male. One strong hand reached out to me and I cried in anguish.
Who was I, that I loved so many? And how could I love them each so differently? Know them so intimately? Tears poured down my cheeks and I felt strong arms lift me, lay me down somewhere soft. A voice called to me but it was too far away. I was still lost to those images. Those men. All that emotion. This is what it love felt like. So raw and warm. I wanted more of it. More. And it came.
Feathers on my face. Diamonds in his eyes. Laughter. Light. Darkness. All in one. A touch on my soul and I was his. He let me go to save me, protect me. Then he found me again. We found each other. Love within the sky. Falling without dying. I'd never fear the fall again. Never fear Heaven again. Not with this angel beside me.
Then I saw him plummeting to his death. The look on his face was so serene. I screamed and reached out for him but his face changed. His dark hair lightened to brown. His diamond eyes infused with color. So much color. Deep green, blue, and even purple, but there was only one eye now and it stared at me with calm acceptance, with joy even, as a blade sliced through his neck and he gave his life for mine.
“Odin!” I screamed, my memory finally asserting itself with his sacrifice.
I flailed around, struggling against the hands that tried to soothe me. A cup held to my lips. No, I turned my face away. Fingers over my nose. More hands on me, holding me down. Damn you! No! I will suffocate first. I've drowned before, what is suffocation but a waterless drowning? Bring it on, you bastards!
But my body took over at the last second, automatically rebelling against its shut down. It didn't seem to know that we'd be fine, we'd heal. Or would we? My healing abilities had dwindled. All I really had left was a little bit of fey blood and a little of my witch. Could I die without air? I gasped for breath and a second later, vicious, traitorous water poured in my mouth.
No, I wouldn't have died, I realized as the memories were washed away. I was a new goddess. Reborn of Water and Sun. Reborn to shine for my people. I opened my eyes and sought out those I held dear, brown rings surrounding deep blue. I smiled at him as I heard Nayenezgani gasp and pull away.
“What have you done?” Naye demanded of his brother as Toby pulled away from me.
“Nothing,” Toby shook his head, gaping at me in horror.
“What did you put in her water?” Naye demanded.
“Just the dampening spell,” Toby vowed.
“There's more,” Naye accused.
“I can't seduce a woman with water,” Toby growled. “I can only enhance water's own abilities. You know that.”
“Then what was that look?” Naye pointed accusingly at me.
“She may have expressed feelings toward me earlier,” Toby confessed and Naye roared. “She's just confused.”
“Magic always demands a price.” I whispered as I stood up and then I continued in a calm and commanding voice, “Naye, stop this. He's your brother.”
Naye lost his bluster, his face falling into lines of hurt. He stared at me with his heart in his eyes.
“You're the only woman I've ever loved,” he vowed. “The mother of my children. The Moon to my Sun.”
“That woman lays on a stone table in the heart of this mountain,” I said solemnly. “You've created a new version of her and something has changed in the process. A price has been demanded for your defiance of death. I admit it troubles me as well. I feel a shift in my very nature. This is a price we will both pay. Maybe all three of us,” I glanced at Toby.
The men stared at me with wide eyes. So similar in looks and yet so different in their hearts. My two loves. I stumbled over that thought, another one seeking the surface from beneath it. I shook my head and breathed deep. Coming back from the dead was taking its toll on both my body and my mind. I knew I should love Naye but something inside my bones whispered to me about Toby. I knew the way Toby's hand could hold tenderness, the way his eyes could soften, and the way we could speak for hours as if our souls were remembering each other. This was who I wanted now.
And that would pose a problem.
“I need some time,” I finally said to them. “I need time to adjust to this body and these changes. Do not hold your brother responsible for this. He did nothing. Even I can't explain why I feel the things I do. It's like this body remembers him, its heart cannot be changed.”
Toby's eyes widened and Naye's narrowed.
“What is it?” I, in turn, narrowed my eyes on them and lifted my chin regally. “What have you done?” Strength poured into me and I felt the glow of the moon fill me. They cringed. “Tell me now!”
“We did what we had to do to bring you back,” Naye answered.
“There's more to it,” I growled, sensing that this wasn't like me at all, this aggressiveness. I was cool, aloof, and sometimes even submissive. This was not me but it felt so good, I didn't want to stop. “Peace then, I'll let it be for now but know this, Nayenezgani, what happens from here forward is on your shoulders.”
“I wasn't alone in my efforts,” Naye defended himself.
“Were you not?” I cocked my head at him. “Your brother has ever supported you and I don't think it was his will to bring me back. It would serve you right if I now chose him instead of you.”
“How can you speak to me like this?” Naye came forward and took my hand. “You're my Moon and my wife.”
“Don't you mean The Moon of my life?” I laughed and then sobered. “I have no idea why I said that,” I held a hand to my head. “Or what it even means. What have you two done to me? Who am I?”
“It's going to be alright, Ata,” Toby came forward to help me sit down but Naye pushed him away.
“I think you need to leave us alone for a little while, Brother,” Naye said tersely.
“Fine,” Toby held up his hands in surrender. “I'll be in the kitchen.
“Why don't you go check on our people?” Naye said in a low growl.
“Whatever you want, Naye,” Toby shook his head and left the room.
Meanwhile, I reeled under the weight of confusion. There was something wrong here and I had the oddest sensation that I'd been through all of this before. I had an image of yellow eyes with slit pupils, so sad in their regret, but then Naye angled his face into my vision and those eyes were replaced by his.
“You take your time, Ata,” he said. “I have faith that our love is strong enough to survive this. You just need to remember me.”
“I do remember you,” I said gently as I touched his face. “And I remember our sons. Where are our children, Nayenezgani? I want to see them, hold them. Bring them to me.”
“One is called Teharon,” Naye had a shadow in his eyes that I didn't trust. “He's a healer, a creator. They call him He who holds Heaven in his hands.”
“Sky Holder,” I nodded. I knew the name in my heart, had known what he would be called from the moment of his birth.
“He fights against us,” Naye w
hispered but it was an angry whisper. “He's been misled.”
“Then we must bring him back to the correct path,” I said calmly. “And the other? He would be the opposite. A destroyer? Flint, sharp and black. Darkness and Winter. Am I right?”
“Yes,” Naye looked away from me. “Tawiskaron. He... I had a chance to get to know him and for that I'm grateful.”
“What do you mean?” I arched a brow at him.
“Your family took them from me,” Naye looked back at me with blazing eyes. “Stole them. The last living pieces I had of you. I searched for them for years and finally found them. Then Tawiskaron was taken from me again. This body you fight against, is lover to the man who killed our son.”
“What?” I felt my heart break open inside me and my calm control broke.
My son was dead. Gone before I had the chance to know him. What a cruel twist of fate to bring me back to life only to find that one of my children had only just died.
Killed by my lover. No, her lover.
“What's his name?”
“Who?” Naye narrowed his eyes on me.
“The man who killed our son,” I felt my skin go cold. “What is his name?”
“Odin,” Naye said grimly. “Leader of the Norse Pantheon. The Oathbreaker.”
“Will I have the chance to meet him in battle?”
“Oh yes,” Naye started to smile. “I'm sure we'll see him again.”
“Good.”
Naye laid his head in my lap and I stroked his hair automatically but my thoughts were focused on the death of my enemy. No matter that he was lover to this body. In fact, I would exploit that if I could. Yes, I would use every trick available to claim my vengeance. It was the least I could do for my son.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“When do I get to see our people?” I stood in front of the little table we ate at, looking down upon the brothers.