by Unknown
Teharon, my child who I never had the chance of knowing. Only a glimpse of him through the memories of another woman. Now here he stood, grown tall and strong, his beautiful face set off by his dramatic blue eyes. Blue like Tobadzistsini's, though Teharon's were a lighter blue and a little green. Like the stones our people favored. Within that blue were spokes of black.
“Teharon,” I held out my arms to him and for a moment, he looked as if he would protest but then he just scooped me up and held me tightly.
“Mother,” he whispered. “I never knew what you looked like.”
“All you have to do is look in a mirror,” I whispered as he set me down. And it was true. He was a male version of myself, the only exception being those amazing eyes.
“I know that now,” he smiled, leaning his head down to mine, “and I will think of you now, every time I see myself. I have dreamt about meeting you.”
“I wish I could have seen you grow into a man,” I sighed. “But it's enough to see you now, to know that you've had all I've wished for you. Friends, family, and love.”
“Yes,” he smiled. “Did you see her? Her name's Karni Mata. She's wonderful, very kind and beautiful.”
“I did see her,” I laughed. “Rats? Well, all creatures are sacred I guess.”
“Yes,” he laughed with me. “Though it's hard to remember that sometimes when I visit her temple.”
“Teharon,” I got serious. “I know you're a good man but there are things a mother wants to tell her son and I know this moment between us will soon be gone. So let me tell you them while I have the chance.”
“Of course,” he nodded.
“Never hit her,” I whispered. “Be good to your woman. Be kind and gentle, as I know you can be. Show her understanding and patience.”
“I would never harm her,” he vowed.
“I know,” I tapped his hand, “just listen.”
“Sorry,” he huffed a laugh.
“Be true to your word, for even gods, especially gods, should be honorable. Never be afraid to trust. If your trust is misplaced, it's better than never giving it at all. If you are betrayed, try to find room for forgiveness. It's far better to forgive than to let a wound fester but don't be afraid to strike out at injustice either. You were born a healer but you are still a god and gods are meant to protect their people. Allow your strength to be tempered with mercy but not crippled by it.”
“It's hard sometimes, to feel like a warrior when I only want to heal, to create, not destroy,” he sighed.
“Perhaps,” I lifted a finger to touch his temple, right at the corner of his eye. “But I see your brother's magic inside you now and he held destruction. Twins born to gods are always half of a great magic. I mourn your brother's death but it has made you whole and more powerful than other gods. Embrace his magic and know that you were meant to be both light and dark. That neither is good or evil but both are necessary.”
“Thank you,” he nodded. “I'll remember.”
“Good,” I stroked a hand over his cheek. “Now, the truly important advice that I have for you.”
“Yes?”
“Give your heart as often as you can,” I pulled his head down and kissed his forehead. “Be it in friendship or passion, take love wherever you find it, for it's the most precious gift in the world and should never be refused. I myself have only just learned that and I would save you the half-life I lived without the knowledge of it.”
“I love you, Mother,” he held me and kissed my cheek. “But I have to let you go now.”
“I know, Sky-Holder,” I smiled at him. “He-Who-Holds-Heaven-In-His-Hands. You now hold Hell as well. Be careful with it, my son. You have to walk the path of two gods now.”
“I will,” he vowed. “Goodbye, Mother.”
“Goodbye,” I hugged him once more before I disappeared, a warm happiness easing my way.
“Vervain?” Teharon's face was right above mine as I was pulled back into awareness. “Vervain, are you alright?”
“Are you still Vervain?” Trevor's anxious face appeared over Teharon's shoulder.
“I'm all that and a bag of chips, baby,” I laughed as Trevor rolled his eyes.
“Welcome back,” Teharon helped me sit up with a smile.
“Thank you.”
“Thank you,” he said and kissed my cheek. “That may not have been her soul but that was my mother and knowing her has given me a measure of peace.”
“You were able to see her, weren't you?” I realized that in her memories, Ata would be completely herself.
“Yes, now I have an image to hold in my heart,” he swallowed hard. “Thank you so much, Vervain.”
“You're very welcome,” I glanced at Trevor, “but I think I have to get back to my date now.”
“Oh!” Teharon jumped up. “Yes, of course.” He started towards the stairs.
“Um, Teharon?” I called after him.
“Yes?”
“When are we meeting with Naye?”
“Oh, right,” he sobered. “Tomorrow night, if that's alright.”
“Tomorrow night is just fine,” Trevor chuckled.
“Oh?” Teharon lifted a brow.
“It's Kirill's night to take me out,” I grimaced and smacked Trevor.
“I'm sure Kirill will understand,” Teharon said before he left.
“He hasn't noticed the changes in Kirill, has he?” Trevor continued to chuckle.
“Nope,” I settled back against Trevor. “Kirill's gonna be pissed.”
Chapter Fifty
“My army has scattered,” Naye said grimly. “Fled. Gone into hiding. Things are worse than ever.”
“We have incredible magic at our disposal,” I said to him, though he refused to meet my eyes. “There has to be a way to use it to help them.”
“Something that doesn't involve slaughtering a bunch of people,” Trevor huffed.
“Well, my plan has failed,” Naye sighed. “You've seen to that. Both my son and brother are dead and my magic is gone. I have nothing left. So whatever you think you can do for my people is more than I'll be able to do.”
“Your magic isn't gone,” I told him. “It's still there, I've just repressed it and as far as your brother, we're bringing him back. I have his feather still and I'll use it to return his magic to him once he returns. Then, we can talk about you getting your magic restored.”
“You're bringing him back?” Naye whispered. “After everything we did to you, you're bringing Toby back?”
“I love Toby,” I nodded. “He was good to me, even in the midst of your insanity. He deserves another chance and he's agreed to let me bring him back. Your father is returning with him.”
“Father is...” Naye looked toward Mrs E and she nodded. “What about my son? What about Tawiskaron?”
I blanched and looked immediately toward Teharon. I hadn't even considered bringing Tawiskaron back from the Void. Did that make me a horrible person?
“My brother needs to stay where he is,” Teharon sighed. Evidently he had already considered it. “At least for now.”
“You don't have the right to make that decision for him,” Naye growled.
“No, I don't, which is why I went to the Void and spoke to my brother,” Teharon surprised us all by saying. Well, all of us except Mrs E, who only nodded serenely. Looked like someone taught Teharon how to astral project.
“And what did he say?” Naye demanded.
“He's disappointed in himself,” Teharon shook his head. “Death has changed his perspective on things and he feels that he choose the wrong path. He's afraid of what he might do if he returns.”
“So he's just going to stay in the Void?” Naye gaped.
“And wait for his next life,” Teharon nodded. “I understand and support his decision but there's still time for him to change his mind.”
“So be it,” Naye ran a hand through his long hair. “I wasn't sure I was making the right choice, coming here to seek peace with all of you, but now
I see it was. I want my family back and I want to know my son,” he looked at Teharon.
“My mother told me to always try and find room for forgiveness,” Teharon whispered. “I think now I know why.”
“Your mother?” Naye frowned.
“Vervain allowed me to spirit-walk into Atahensic's memories,” Teharon explained and Mrs E inhaled sharply.
“You did?” Naye finally looked at me. “Why would you risk losing yourself to her again?”
“Because I love my friend and I wanted him to know his mother,” I said as if he were acting crazy again. “You'd be a lucky man to have Teharon in your life. If he forgives you, you'd better not screw it up, Naye.”
“I won't,” Naye vowed and looked to Teharon. “I've tried to reach you for so long. Knowing where you were but unable to speak to you. At least this has brought me the chance to tell you how much I've missed being your father. How I've suffered every day, feeling the loss of you. I wish I could have raised you, seen you as a child, helped you grow into manhood. I wish you hadn't been taken from me. There's so much I wish were different. It's made me angry for a very long time but I'm willing to let go of that anger, if you're willing to give me a chance to be your father.”
“I'm willing to get to know you better. As far as being my father, we'll have to see how it goes,” Teharon held out his hand and Naye looked at it with shock for a second before grabbing it with his own and using it to pull Teharon into a hug.
“Thank you,” he squeezed Teharon once and then let him go quickly, as if afraid he'd be rejected.
“I can only be a part of your life if I have your promise that you'll work with us and not against us,” Teharon continued. “I can't go through what I did with Tawiskaron again.”
“You have my promise,” Nayenezgani swore and I felt a huge weight lift from me. Then my gut clenched when he said, “So when are we bringing the rest of my family home?”
Chapter Fifty-One
Finding bodies for Mr T and Toby had been terrifyingly easy but deciding on which two to take had been decidedly awkward. Mrs E picked for her husband but she said I should choose for Toby since, well, since I'd be the one appreciating it.
The magic would change them of course, just as it had changed Odin, but Odin hadn't gone completely back to the way he used to look so I had no idea how Toby would weather the change. So choosing a body for Toby was kind of a big decision.
I wanted to find him a Native American but Azrael couldn't locate any who I could approve of, so I ended up choosing a young Caucasian man who at least had Toby's long hair. I knew how the lack of hair had thrown Odin when he'd returned and I wanted Toby to be as comfortable as possible in his new body. I just hoped the white skin didn't freak him out too much.
I didn't want to know the man's name. All I wanted to know was that his body was strong enough to house a god's power and it was. He'd been a victim of a car accident and had fallen into a coma. So there wasn't an issue of disease. Twenty-six years old, he had dark brown eyes to match his long hair and a scruffy beard that once shaved, revealed a kind looking face.
I don't know what race he was, something Nordic maybe. He had a thick build and working man's hands. He was shorter than Toby had been but I kind of liked that. All of my men were so tall, sometimes I thought it might be nice to not have to go up on tippy-toes to kiss someone.
I wasn't going to worry about it or get attached though, magic had a way of changing things. Just like death.
We were gathered in the Southern tower of Pride Palace, there where Fire was at its strongest. I liked doing magic there, I always felt more powerful, and by we, I mean I, Mrs E, Trevor, Kirill, Azrael, Odin, Teharon, Karni Mata, Naye, and Doba, who had followed us up into the tower as if she'd known exactly what was going on and had no intentions of missing it. She was sitting in a corner, calmly waiting for Toby to return.
The bodies we'd chosen for Toby and Mr T were laid out inside a circle of salt, on pallets draped in white cloth. There were two empty pallets between them, one for me and one for Mrs E. I'd already instructed her on the spell along with the words she needed to say to bring Mr T home.
Between the empty pallets, there was a white cloth spread out on the floor. On it was a white candle to represent Spirit, an incense burner with a piece of charcoal already burning in it, two braids of black hair, and a crystal bowl filled with a mixture of cinquefoil, mugwort, and dittany of crete.
I'd already braided Toby's black feather into the hair of the preserved body and Mrs E had adorned her chosen body with Mr T's breastplate. I didn't want to risk either of them coming back without their memories. With Odin, it had been his spear that had returned his memories. I hadn't known it at the time but Odin had pushed all of his magic into the spear when he died. I could have returned his memories to him much sooner if only I'd known. This time around, I was more prepared.
I knew Toby's feather held all of his magic, so I was pretty certain he'd come back to himself immediately. Mrs E had said that Mr. T's breastplate had a connection with him, housing some of his power when he was alive, and he'd been wearing it when he died so both of them were fairly certain that most of his magic had fled into the breastplate. Magic didn't want to disperse after all. If it had somewhere to take refuge, it would. So we weren't as certain in Mr T's case as we were about Toby's but it was a chance we were willing to take.
All that was left to do was add the physical connection to their old bodies. I took Toby's braid and Mrs E picked up Mr T's hair. We went to the bodies and placed the braids in their hands, folding their fingers around them.
Then we came back to the cloth altar. We were ready and since we were both going to be a part of the ritual, Mrs E joined me in casting the spell. When I picked up a handful of the herbs, she took her own as well.
We exchanged determined looks and then she put her handful of herbs on the charcoal in two batches. The first plume of smoke drifted over to hover over the body she'd chosen for Mr T. Then she added a little more herbs and as the smoke drifted up the second time, she went to lay on her pallet and the smoke followed her. It snaked around her like a lover, caressing her body and luring her soul out.
I took a deep breath and repeated the process, with the first batch of smoke hovering over Toby's new body. Then I cast more herbs onto the charcoal and went to lay down on my pallet. I closed my eyes and settling into a meditative state that took my awareness down into my soul. I couldn't even smell the smoke that I knew must have been billowing about me as my body started vibrating in a way that assured me the time was near.
I looked up with my inner eyes and saw a golden cord dangling above me. I reached for it and slowly, inch by inch, I pulled my soul from my body. I felt light as a feather as I hovered over myself and I admit there was a part of me that wanted to just fly away and never return. That's one of the risks you face when you astral project. Our souls are restricted by our bodies and the possibility of shedding that restriction can be very tempting. Good thing my will was stronger than the temptation.
I floated over to the body I'd prepared for Toby and took hold of the braid in its hand. When I pulled, the braid stayed there but a white cord came away with me. It was the link Toby would need to get back home. I drifted away, clutching that glowing link like it was my own lifeline.
I saw Mrs E waiting for me with her hand outstretched and I took it. We went flying out of the room, out into my territory and then past that, into the Aether. The Aether had always frightened me a little, all that dark filled with longing and memories. People left a little payment whenever they passed through the Aether, usually in the form of a memory. Oh, it was just a copy, you didn't lose a memory every time you traced, but those copies lived there, amongst the projected will of witches, gods, and faeries.
The Aether was a place where magic was made. It was built by the Fey to connect their realm to the Human Realm when they decided to withdraw from us, but it was also connected to the place where both humans and gods went
when they died. Well, humans would have gone there, if they hadn't started believing in the gods. So I guess only atheists and gods went there now.
The entrance was a black hole in the darkness, a darker dark. It sparked with energy and was a little scary, truth be told. I knew what lay beyond it though, so I wasn't afraid of it anymore. Just as we were about to enter it, I felt something different in the Aether, a gathering of energy. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt there. The Aether had power and magic but it wasn't sentient. It couldn't gather or direct that magic. It was a tool not the wielder. Yet, there was something focusing its attention on us, I felt it distinctly. Like that tremulous flutter you get between your shoulder blades when you feel someone watching you. A remnant of animal instincts, hackles rising to warn you of a predator nearby. That's what it would have been like, had I still been in my body, but since it was just my soul, I felt those flutters everywhere.
I tried to turn and search the darkness but the journey through the Aether was always a fast one and Mrs E was pulling me along as well. My soul shivered as we went through the passage into the Void and came out into bright sunlight, leaving that disturbing feeling behind. There was an open field with reddish tinged mountains rising up behind it and standing in that field, waiting for us, were Mr T and his son.
There was no discussion this time. Not like when I'd gone for Odin. It was all decided already. Both of the men were ready to come back to life and we were ready to help them. I went straight to Toby as Mrs E went running to her husband. I was excited, not only to be bringing Toby home but to see Mrs E and Mr T reunited in the flesh.
I smiled at Toby and handed him the link to his new body as I said the words to complete the ritual, “Fill ar ais chun na beatha.”
As soon as he took hold of the cord, he was gone, pulled back to the body as if the cord had been made of elastic. I grinned and looked over to see that Mr T was gone as well. Mrs E beamed at me and we left the Void as we'd entered it, with hands joined.