Amy Sumida - Light as a Feather (Book 14 in The Godhunter Series)

by Unknown

  Hardly, Faerie scoffed.

  “Exactly,” Alaric smiled, “but there's more. I guided Odin because I saw a potential path for you, a possible outcome that would change everything.”

  “I became truly human,” I said.

  “Yes,” he grinned wider. “I led Odin to the perfect woman to be your new mother. When he put your fey essence and goddess soul into her, your goddess soul split into two. Under the influence of your human body, your soul also became human. You were already part fey, so your mother's witch ancestry accepted your mixed essence easily but the goddess in you had to be altered. It couldn't become human and it couldn't be both, so it divided, like a cell does during mitosis. Nature will always find a way and so will magic.”

  “Wait,” I was trying to work it out in my head. “I've brought back both Odin and Toby from the Void and put them into human bodies. Does this mean that their souls will divide too?”

  “That's a fascinating question,” he said with interest. “But I don't believe so. They were placed into fully formed bodies whose souls had already departed. You were placed into an unclaimed vessel, a body which wasn't fully formed yet and had no soul within it. It was a completely different circumstance. In their case, the magic of their souls overpowered any need for their new bodies to assert their humanity. With Odin in particular, the fey essence that had bonded with Griffin's soul lingered, even after his death. It clung to the corpse and has found a new life with Odin. I admit, that was a situation I hadn't anticipated.”

  “That's why he was able to pull Tawiskaron's magic from him,” I said gravely.

  “Yes,” he smiled brightly. “Fascinating, really. Fey essence departs upon death but since Griffin never really died, it remained.”

  “But you still don't think Odin's soul will split?” I pressed.

  “Doubtful,” he pursed Aradia's lips. “It isn't a full fey essence, you see. It's just a small remnant, enough to give Odin the ability to access witch magic but not enough to compete with his soul for dominance. With you, your fey essence will always be the strongest because it's what you were originally born with. When Odin placed it into your new mother, it was welcomed by the existing fey essence in your mother's blood. Your original essence was presented with an opportunity to strengthen itself with the small amount of essence your human mother would pass onto you. In order to receive this new surge of essence though, it would have to convince your human body to accept the goddess soul it had bonded with in order to survive the Well. Your goddess soul didn't stand a chance. With the combined forces of your fey essence and your new human will pitted against it, it was forced to change.”

  “Wait, wait, wait,” I held up my hand. “Are you saying I have more essence than any other fey?”

  “Well,” he looked a little surprised, “yes but only in the way that a bowl of cream has more cream in it than a bowl of whipped cream.”

  “What?” I frowned as I tried to suppress my instant desire for a latte.

  “A fey essence is a fey essence,” Alaric shrugged. “It's the same size in all fey but you now have a more condensed version of it. Cream instead of whipped cream. You're essence is thicker.”

  “So, I do have more essence than other fey?” I lifted a brow at him. “I've got fey muchness.”

  “Excuse me?” Alaric blinked at me.

  “Muchness,” I grinned. Oh how I love my Alice in Wonderland references. “There's much more fey essence in me than in them. I'm much more muchier. I've got muchness. Fey muchness.”

  “Yes, I guess you do,” Alaric laughed.

  “Hmph,” I sent Arach a sideways smirk. “All those fey elitists who think I'm only part fey can shove that up their collective asses.”

  “Yes, A Thaisce,” Arach chuckled. “You're more fey than they are, you win.”

  “I win,” I repeated as I smiled at Alaric.

  “You do indeed,” Alaric nodded. “It's most likely the reason Faerie has such a strong pull for you and why you're able to adjust to the ways of the fey so easily, even though you weren't born to them.”

  “That makes sense,” I lost my grin as I considered it.

  I'd often wondered why it was so easy for me to accept fey nature, even after the rather violent introduction I'd been given to it. I should have been more wary of the fey, at the very least I should have been wary of goblins, but I never was. I'd accepted them as family and never let the past color my opinion of them.

  “Yes,” Alaric pulled me from my thoughts. “Your fey essence is the strongest of the three but your human and goddess souls are both fully formed now too and they can hold their own against your fey muchness. You're truly a triple being. You have three essences.”

  “Three souls,” I took a shaky breath. “Three paths,” I whispered, thinking of something the Fates had once said to me. Tears sprang to my eyes, though I had no idea why.

  “Yes,” Alaric slapped the table in exclamation, jolting me out of my melancholy. “I've had to guide you very carefully because of that. Three paths! Each essence longs for a different life, which can make things quite complicated. Luckily, I wasn't the only one guiding you. Faerie noticed you as well and began working towards a similar goal for you.”

  “The Trinity Star,” I whispered.

  I only saw the fey side of things, Faerie grudgingly admitted. What you could do for me and my faeries. How you could reunite us and change them enough to free them from stasis. I never looked beyond that.

  “That was a huge amount of forethought on its own,” Alaric said generously, “and I'm grateful that our plans for Vervain coincided so well. She can be difficult to keep on track.”

  You're telling me, Faerie huffed.

  “Well I'm so sorry the three souls you manipulated me into holding have made it hard for you to continue manipulating me,” I snapped.

  Oh stop being such a baby, Faerie shot back before Alaric could say anything. You've been guarded and guided by the most powerful beings in this Universe and all you can do is complain about the attention.

  “I'm not complaining,” I huffed.

  Yeah okay, Faerie had learned to do sarcasm really well.

  “I used to visit you in Hvergelmir, you know,” Alaric interrupted before things got out of hand.

  “What?”

  “Did you think it was the other souls talking to you?” He lifted a brow. “You and I have known each other a very long time, Vervain. We talked, just the two of us, for over five hundred years. I've never been able to talk to anyone like I talk to you.”

  “That was you?” I whispered as snippets of conversation came rushing back to me.

  What does it feel like to be made of fire? He'd asked me once.

  It feels hot, I had replied. I guess I've always been a smart ass.

  “That was me,” he nodded and stretched his hand across the table to me. “I've thought of you as a daughter for most of your existence.”

  I stared at Aradia's hand a moment before sliding mine over and taking it. He gripped me tight, a slight tingle of power coursing over my fingers, and then he released me.

  “I would never do anything to hurt you, Vervain,” he vowed. “You're very precious to me.”

  “So why did you make Toby leave?”

  “Tobadzistsini would have destroyed you,” he sighed.

  “That's what he said you told him,” I shook my head, “but you don't understand. Toby can't destroy me, our magic is joined, it would be like destroying himself.”

  “Vervain,” Alaric got very serious. “That is precisely how Toby will destroy you.”

  “What?” I gaped.

  “Every man you're with has been brought into your life for a reason,” he explained. “Each one of them adds something to your power, helps you along your path. Together, you're all stronger. A fact you should take into consideration, Dragon King,” he glanced at Arach.

  “Pardon me?” Arach stiffened.

  “I know it's hard for you to tame your jealous nature but if you l
ove Vervain, you need to realize that she's alive because of those other men,” Alaric said gently. “They're not just lovers, they're a part of her, as you are a part of her, and you need to stop seeing yourself as separate from them. You cannot cut yourself off from them and pretend they don't exist, then rage at Vervain for not including you in that part of her life. That's infantile behavior.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed with a huff and then shook my head abruptly. “Wait. How did you know about that?”

  “I did mention that I watch over you, didn't I?” Alaric cocked his head at me.

  “What would you have me do?” Arach growled at Alaric. “I can't move to the God Realm, I have a kingdom to run.”

  “You've visited before,” Alaric shrugged, “and they've come here as well. Find a way. It's important for you to have a connection to them as well as to Vervain and not just for her sake but yours. It will strengthen you too. I think you've sensed how important it is and this is why you're so intent on being included in her decisions from now on but you need to be more than an adviser. You need to be a participant.”

  “So you want me to spend time with men I have to share Vervain's affections with?” Arach lifted a brow.

  “She told you of the lioness magic,” Alaric raised one of Aradia's brows right back. “Maybe you should give it a try.”

  “Okay, okay,” I held up my hands. “Everyone calm down, we can talk about this later.”

  “Your power comes from unity, Vervain,” Alaric looked back to me. “That includes your lovers. They must be unified or they will tear you apart.”

  “I would never hurt Vervain,” Arach said in a low, dangerous tone.

  “Yes, you will,” Aradia's eyes flashed bright blue. “If you don't accept what it means to be with her, you will only weaken her. You've made the same mistake Faerie has. You've seen only what Vervain can give you; love, children, companionship, and help in ruling your kingdom. Have you never considered that you could give her things she needs as well? That you are not the most important person in this relationship?”

  Arach's mouth dropped open.

  “He has given to me,” I came to his defense. “He's brought the Wild Hunt to my rescue and saved my life. When I was captured, he again brought all of our fey to the God Realm to help free me. He doesn't just take, that's not a fair assessment.”

  “You're right,” Alaric bowed his head. “My apologies, King Arach.”

  “No,” Arach whispered with wide, horrified eyes. “You're right. I did those things to protect Vervain but only because losing her would have destroyed me and damaged my kingdom. I've never helped her unless she was in desperate need of me. I've always been focused here, on the Fire Kingdom.”

  “It's what you were born to do,” I took his hand and caught his gaze. “Our fey need you to be focused on them. I've never thought badly of you or resented you for it.”

  “Maybe you should have,” he pulled his hand from mine and placed it on my cheek. “I'll make the time to be a part of your entire life, instead of just expecting you to report back to me about it. He's right, that's infantile and unacceptable behavior for a king. I'll try to support you as much as you support me.”

  A huge weight lifted from my chest, a stone that had been on my heart for a long time and which I'd had no idea even existed. I fell forward against him and his arms closed around me tightly. We stayed like that for several heartbeats as I closed my eyes and let myself imagine the possibilities of sharing my entire life with Arach.

  “See, it's already made a difference,” Alaric observed.

  “Yes, yes,” Arach huffed as we broke apart, “no need to rub it on.”

  “Rub it in,” I whispered to him.

  “I thought it was like laying it on thick?” He whispered back. “You rub it on.”

  “No, that's a different saying entirely,” I glanced over and saw Craigor and Alaric/Aradia's fascinated faces and cleared my throat. “Never mind, we'll talk about it later. Go on, Alaric.”

  “Ah, where was I?” He blinked.

  “You were telling Arach he needed to be a part of my whole life and try to get to know my other lovers,” I prompted.

  “Oh yes,” Alaric gave a little laugh. “You know, you were like this in Hvergelmir too. You could always distract me onto a tangent. That's quite a feat if you think about it. I am pure consciousness, all I am are thoughts and magic.”

  “Yes, she definitely has the power of distraction,” Arach smiled lasciviously down at me.

  “Yes, well, it comes in handy for her I guess. Now, as I was saying,” Alaric looked back at me, “every man you're with has something necessary for your survival. It's vitally important that they be a strong unit and that they be open to the possibility of adding more strength to the group.”

  “As in another man? Are you kidding me?” I think both Arach and Alaric were surprised that it was me doing the protesting.

  “I can't say with complete certainty what the future holds for you,” Alaric said softly, “but haven't you just accepted that love is not something that can be anticipated or denied?”

  “Well, yeah, I guess,” I huffed.

  “I thought you wanted this other man?” Arach cocked his head at me.

  “It may surprise you to hear this,” I stared back at him, “but I never wanted to have this complicated relationship with five men. It's not easy, you know? Trying to keep all of us happy can be stressful.”

  “I guess I never thought about it from your perspective,” Arach frowned.

  “You're not just sharing me, I'm sharing myself and it feels like I'm stretched thin sometimes.” I searched his eyes for understanding and amazingly enough, I found it.

  Oh, please, Faerie interrupted. There you go whining again about having something fabulous. Oh no I have to sleep with five gorgeous men! Oh poor me.

  “You know, you get away with a lot because you're incorporeal,” I growled, “but keep it up and the next time you're inside me, I'm gonna kick my own ass just to share the pain.”

  You're just bitter cause you know I'm right, she huffed but then fell silent.

  “Relationships are about compromise,” Alaric quickly filled the silence, “and with so many people involved, there's had to be more compromising than usual but I think you've done well, Vervain. If another man enters your life, I know you'll be able to handle it.”

  “Let's just stop talking about things that may or may not happen,” I waved it aside.

  “Agreed,” Alaric nodded. “I need to finish telling you about Tobadzistsini.”

  “Damn, that's right,” I shook my head. “You said he was going to destroy me.”

  “Yes,” Alaric sighed. “Toby weakens the power structure your men have become. He was never meant for you. You veered down the wrong path before I could stop you and that path was downhill. You hurtled down it, unstoppable, a stone gathering snow. I feared the impact but I could do nothing to avert it until Tobadzistsini passed through the Aether.”

  “I don't understand,” I glanced at Arach but his eyes were set intensely on Alaric.

  “You should never have been taken by the brothers,” Alaric sighed. “I tried to warn you but I was too late.”

  “The voice in my head,” I exhaled sharply. “I heard your warning.”

  “Yes,” he nodded Aradia's head. “Tobadzistsini saw an opportunity and acted on it. It was not premeditated, so I couldn't anticipate it.”

  “You can see the future?” I lifted a brow.

  “I can read the possibilities in the energy flow,” he corrected. “Like how your Torrent can read Internet energy. I see the possibilities and can judge the most likely outcome. The future is not set, it can be altered, as you and Toby have so vividly proven.”

  “So I altered it by joining my magic with Toby's,” I said.

  “Yes,” he leaned forward urgently, “and that is exactly why I've chosen to reveal myself to you now. Your trinity can't function with a shared magic. You've unbalanced the star and i
t will slowly start to consume itself. It will grow hotter and hotter until it burns out completely. You must get rid of the moon magic or it will kill you.”

  “What? No,” my heart clenched at his words. I loved the moon magic. “I've already given away the land magic, I don't have another magic to replace the moon with.”

  “Yes, I know. Yet another deviation I didn't foresee. I was hoping you'd be intuitive enough to release the moon magic, in which case everything would have returned to normal for you, but you didn't. You kept it out of sentimentality and remained on the path of destruction. If you insist on keeping the moon magic, you must sever the bond with Water and Darkness. Give Tobadzistsini's magic back,” he declared.

  “Is that even possible?” Arach spoke, which was a good thing because I was speechless.

  “It is,” Alaric said with certainty, “but it won't be pleasant. Nor easy. Better, I think, to find a new magic to replace it with.”

  “That would mean killing a god,” I sighed.

  “There are several possibilities that I don't think you'd be opposed to,” Alaric set steady eyes on me.

  “What? You've already got some candidates picked out?” I asked, horrified.

  “I told you, Vervain,” he said calmly, “I've been guiding you for a long time. Please trust that I know what's best for you.”

  “I don't know if I like the thought of someone else controlling my life,” I scowled at him.

  “Not controlling,” he sighed, “guiding. This is why I've never approached you in your new life as Vervain. I knew you would see it as such.”

  “Because you know me so well,” I said bitterly.

  “Yes. I do,” he leaned across the table again and for just a second, Aradia's face shifted, becoming something more male and very alien. I pulled back, startled. “Don't do that,” he sighed and drew back. “Don't ever be frightened of me. I love you, Vervain. I always have. I want to see you happy and healthy, living a very long life.”