“Not always, but for a long time. I was born in Michigan.”
“Is your family still there?”
“No. We’re kinda spread out all over the place.”
“My folks still live in Columbus. Where are your parents?”
“My mom passed away ten years ago. My brothers work in the oil industry overseas.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. What about your dad?”
Ryder worked his jaw before answering. “We don’t really get along.”
“Huh. That’s funny,” Hannah said. “Someone I know just said the same thing the other day. That he didn’t get along with his three sons. That’s so sad. Cole’s mom said ‘parenting is a privilege, not a right.’ Life’s too short to be angry with each other, especially family.”
“Good advice,” Ryder said. “So you don’t want to be angry with me anymore?”
She thought of all the ways she could answer the question and decided on simply telling him the truth. She blew out a long breath and turned to face him. “No. If I stay angry at you, I can never fall in love with you. And I really want to. Even if it means we never see each other again. I want you to be my first broken heart too.”
***
Ryder dropped Hannah off at the condo at around four o’clock. They shared a kiss, but with no promises, given their uncertain immediate futures. When she got upstairs to the suite, no one was home. The Christmas tree lights were blinking white sparkles, and the living room and kitchen were in disarray. It seemed almost spooky. As she dragged her case into the bedroom, her cell phone went off. It was her mother calling.
“Mom, where are you? Where is everybody?”
“Oh, Hannah, are you home?” Her mother’s frantic voice rose with panic and tore through the cell phone line. “I’ve been trying to get through to you but it kept going straight to voicemail and service here is so spotty.”
“Just got in,” Hannah said, heart dropping to her toes. “What’s going on?”
“Thank goodness. We’re all so scared.”
Hannah could hear the emotion lacing her mother’s voice, shaky and high-pitched. It frightened her too. “What’s wrong?”
“Little Christina started vomiting this morning, then broke into a fever. They think it’s something to do with her heart. We’re all back at the hospital in the NICU.”
“I’m coming, Mom. I’ll be right there.”
Chapter Eighteen
Dusk had dissolved into darkness by the time Ryder got to his apartment. He felt tired after the long drive and emotionally drained. He didn’t bother turning on any lights, just shuffled to his bedroom and flopped down. Fuck, everything in his life felt so messed up and uncertain right now. So many loose ends that he couldn’t tie down, and it frustrated the hell out of him.
He’d hoped a few days in the mountains would release all his anxiety, but it only created more. Though he had to admit to a certain amount of release while he was having sex, this thing with Hannah wound him up tighter than a torque wrench. He hadn’t planned on making a lifetime commitment to the girl on the spot, just continue getting to know each other to see where it might lead. Clearly, she’d had aspirations for more than that, and he kicked himself for not recognizing it earlier. What had he been thinking, taking up with a twenty-three-year-old anyway? Because he’d just assumed she had college graduate experience? Fuck! What twenty-three-year-old didn’t have at least half a dozen notches in their bedposts in this day and age?
Wrong move making assumptions. Now, his bad decision had come home to roost. All he needed was for Eloise to get wind of this and she’d be blowing up his phone.
He would just lay low for the next few days, blank everything out of his mind so that he’d be ready when the call from McTaggart came. Either way, he could deal with it. If the answer was yes, he’d play for the Riot with every ounce of skill and heart he had. If the answer was no, well, he’d given it his all, and he had a great story to tell the grandkids. He closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep.
He didn’t know how much time had passed when his cell phone shrilled in the pocket of the jacket that he hadn’t taken off before collapsing into bed. He grabbed at it, still in a half-dream state. His voice came out thick and garbled. “This is Ryder.”
“Mr. Martin, it’s Louise Draper calling from the Pulmonary Care Unit. I’m afraid your father’s taken a turn for the worse. His respiratory system seems to be shutting down, and we can’t stop it. I think you’ll want to come to the hospital right away.”
If he was still asleep, he must surely be having a nightmare.
“I’m on my way.”
***
The green vinyl armchairs in the waiting room outside the NICU unit hadn’t gotten any more comfortable with the passage of several hours. Hannah shifted her bum again. Not that it felt any better, but at least any bruising would be even on both sides. She looked over at Linda, her distress having given way to exhaustion as she slumped limply in her chair. Gerry sat nearby, his legs stretched out and his head back, snoring lightly.
She could barely bring herself to look at Eloise. Her big sister, the strongest person she’d ever known lay curled up in her husband’s arms, looking frail and fetal, her expressive eyes red-rimmed and sunken. How could she have ever felt any animosity toward any of these people around her? Her family? The only family she had. Life was too short. And that fact was driven home all too keenly when the tiniest member of that family struggled for hers at only a few weeks of age inside a surgical room.
It was not uncommon for premature babies to have underdeveloped organs, and they’d been told a small repair to one of Christina’s heart valves was routine and would fix the problem permanently and without complications. But it did not assuage the pain and worry they all felt.
Hannah got up and went to sit in the chair next to her mother. Linda started, then smiled and put her hand on Hannah’s arm. “Almost dozed off there,” she whispered.
“You’re allowed, Mom. Rest while you can.”
“Did you have a nice time skiing? You left in such a hurry, and so early in the morning. Why, I didn’t even get a chance to hug my baby daughter.”
“Yes, it was fun. I’m sorry I missed Christmas with you guys. How was the dinner?”
“Oh, it was wonderful. It certainly helps to have a restaurant owner in the family. Theresa is such an incredible cook and hostess. I’d never admit it in front of your father, but it was so nice to hand over the reins for once and be served by someone else.”
“I suppose so,” Hannah agreed. “You know, I did leave in a hurry. I was so excited to go skiing. I’m sorry I have such a ‘stubborn streak,’ as Dad said. Don’t know where I get it from.”
Linda looked into Hannah’s eyes, a warm twinkle glowing there. “From your dad, of course,” she said, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “Don’t you know that’s why you two can sometimes be at odds with each other? You’re so much alike.”
Hannah snickered. “You’re right. He doesn’t even think he’s stubborn. He just maintains his way is better.”
“Wha…?” Gerry snorted, waking up from his nap.
“Nothing, dear.”
All eyes snapped up as the surgeon entered the room. “Mr. and Mrs. Fiorino?” Cole stood, folding Eloise into his embrace as he did so. “Christina’s doing great. The procedure went exceptionally well, no worries at all. She should grow up to be a strong and healthy girl with no heart issues whatsoever. Provided she eats right and exercises, of course.”
A collective sigh of relief echoed in the room. “When can we see her?” El asked.
“She’ll be in recovery for a while. You might want to go home for the night.”
“No,” El said immediately. “We’ll stay.”
“Now who’s the stubborn one,” Hannah whispered to her mom.
“The rest of us should get some shut-eye,” Gerry said. “I’ll take these ladies home, if you want to stay, Eloise.”
“That’s
probably best since you have flights to catch tomorrow.”
“Alright, ladies, if you please?” Gerry gestured them to the exit.
“I’m going to call Sophia and let her know everything’s alright,” Hannah said. “And I want to stop in on another patient before I go.”
Linda patted her arm. “We’ll wait.”
Hannah walked over to El and wrapped both her and Cole in a hug. “I’m so glad everything’s okay. I’m sorry we argued, El. I’ve learned so much from you, thank you for being my big sister.”
“You came back in one piece,” El said, a wan smile crossing her tired face. “You must have taken at least some of my advice.”
She broke away and walked down the corridor to make her phone call. Sophia answered, and Hannah gave her the update on the situation. “Thank goodness Christina will be fine,” Sophia said. “How are you doing? Better than the last time we talked?”
“I’m good. I’d tell you the whole story, but at this point, I’m not sure how it’s going to go. You’ll be the first to know when I find out.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
“By the way, I meant to ask you. Mom and Dad had a fight on Christmas Eve, right before I left. I’ve never heard them argue like that, not since that night you ran off in the woods.”
“What was it about?”
“I don’t know. It started over Russ, believe it or not. Dad still has it in his head that I’m going to come home and hook up with him. I got mad and left the room, but I heard Dad say I have a stubborn streak and wonders where I got it from, and then Mom tells him to be quiet, and then I couldn’t hear the rest. But they were shouting.”
“Oh boy.”
“What did they fight about that time, Soph? Maybe it’s the same old argument.”
Sophia sighed audibly, the air causing Hannah’s phone to crackle in her ear. “Hannah, El and I swore we’d never tell you this. I can’t believe you even remember that night, but since you obviously do, maybe your knowing can help Mom and Dad put it behind them once and for all.”
Hannah stopped walking, Sophia’s words somehow filling her with dread. “Tell me what?”
“Mom had an affair. A long time ago, with one of Dad’s co-workers.”
Hannah gasped. “No. I don’t believe it.”
“There’s more. Mom got pregnant, and after you were born, Dad found out about her and Jack, that was his name. They were going out to a company party, and they started arguing about Jack, and the fact that… oh, Hannah, I’m sorry… that Jack might be your natural father.”
Hannah swallowed hard. It was unthinkable, but the pieces started to fit. She looked different than her sisters. She came along much later than El and Soph. And what Linda had said just now, about being stubborn like her dad. “How do you know all this? And why wouldn’t they just get a DNA test?” she asked, her voice shaky.
“I overheard their whole conversation. I was behind the drapes, playing hide and seek with El. They didn’t know I was there. When I came out, I asked them if it was true. I got upset and ran out. You know the rest.”
Hannah leaned against the wall, almost dizzy, whether from this news, or the exhausting day, or both. “Holy shit.”
“That’s a lot to take in, I know. But look, you’re my sister in every way that matters, and I love you. Mom and Dad love you, no matter what.”
“Love you too, Soph,” Hannah said in a voice that was so low she could barely hear it herself. Footsteps approached and she shook her head, giving herself a mental shake. “I’d better go. Bye.”
She turned to see Linda and Gerry walking toward her. “Hannah, are you alright? We’ve called a cab, it’ll be here in a minute.”
Hannah had difficulty looking at her parents as she desperately tried to absorb everything she just learned. “Oh, yeah, uh… you guys go on without me. I still have someone I want to visit. I’ll get home on my own, don’t worry. I’m not that tired.”
“You sure? You look a little pale.”
She forced a bright smile. “Positive. I’m fine. See you at home.”
Hannah turned and nearly sprinted down the corridor. She needed time and space to think. She didn’t expect the old man from the restaurant to still be at the outpatient clinic, but it was an excuse to put some distance between her and her parents right now.
She found the nurses station in the Pulmonary Care Unit and asked if a patient named Walter happened to be there. “Last name?” the nurse asked.
“I actually don’t know it. He’s an elderly man, with a rough voice, bushy gray hair?”
“Oh, that Walter. Yes, he’s here, but he’s already got a visitor.” The nurse looked around, then leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but the poor man rarely has a visitor and…”
Hannah was familiar with all of the privacy rules and gave the nurse a friendly smile. “I promise not to tell.”
The nurse looked up and down the hall again. “Well, he’s been very sick. Seeing a friendly face might help. Room E-510, down this way.”
“Thanks.” Hannah’s shoulders sagged. This was a sad way to end a day that already had its share of sadness.
She walked slowly to room E-510, not knowing what she might see. She peeked in the door, a semi-private room with the privacy drapes pulled around the far bed by the window. The other bed lay empty. She walked in, saw a pair of legs sitting in a visitor’s chair behind the drape.
“Walter?”
The visitor stood up and swung the drape partly away to see who was calling. Hannah stopped dead. Ryder stood there, looking as stunned as she.
“Hannah?” His velvety voice was pared down to a hoarse whisper. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see Walter,” she said, stepping closer. “You know him too?” She reached for the edge of the drape and pulled it toward her, enough to see around to the bed. “There you are.” She struggled to keep her voice normal. “How are you today?”
Walter couldn’t speak with the ventilator tubes inside his throat. A machine huffed and puffed on a stand next to the bed, connected to the tubes. He looked terrible but managed to raise his arm a bit to acknowledge her greeting. She nodded, then looked to Ryder, her eyes speaking the questions that her mouth would not.
He inhaled a shuddering breath. “Hannah Robertson, this is my father, Walter Martin. Dad, this is my… girlfriend. Hannah.”
Girlfriend? Hearing the word was as joyful to her as the scene before her was bitter. She was going to cry again, for a whole bunch of new reasons. She gave a small wave. “Hi, Walter. Good to see you again.” The sound of the machine put her in mind of Darth Vader and was just as sinister. A harbinger of death. “I’ll let you guys spend more time together,” she said, backing away from the curve of drape. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”
“Wait in the hallway?” Ryder asked, a pained expression on his handsome face. “I want to explain.”
She nodded and pivoted away, hiding her own wretched expression. This night had gone beyond all explanation. She waited in the hallway with her arms wrapped around herself. In a minute, Ryder stepped beside her and leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets. “So, I know you’ve met my dad before. I saw you help him at Casa Fiorino.”
She met his gaze. “Why weren’t you helping him?”
“Because I didn’t know he was there until I saw you with him. He wasn’t invited.”
“So? You should have come running.”
“You don’t understand.” Ryder’s expression spoke of his guilt as he tried in vain to explain. Hannah had never had experience with family that didn’t love her. What he was saying made her struggle to comprehend. “He’s a miserable, drunk asshole who treated me and my brothers like shit for years. He fucked up on the job and was sent to prison for criminal negligence in the death of a co-worker. He just got out right before the charity event and tells me he has a terminal lung disease, and here we are. End of story.”
“And
all that means he doesn’t deserve your help? He’s still your father. You knew I’d met him, and you didn’t say a word the whole time we were seeing each other? You were that ashamed of him? That cruel?”
Ryder turned on her. “Damn right I’m ashamed. What did I just hear earlier today, uh, ‘parenting is a privilege, not a right?’ Well, he lost all his privileges when he smacked us around, berated us, and loved a whiskey bottle better than any of us.”
Hannah went silent, suddenly understanding his pain, and her own, and that they were more similar than different. She leaned against the wall next to him. “I didn’t come here just to see Walter,” she murmured. “El’s baby was rushed here for emergency heart surgery this afternoon. It was so scary and she’s so little. I didn’t find out until I got home. I was having sex while…”
“Oh, Jesus, Hannah… I…” He shook his head, no other words coming out.
“She’s okay. She’s going to be fine. Ironically, I found out something about my father too. That he might not be my real father. But for twenty-three years, he didn’t complain. He didn’t shun me. He was a father in every other sense of the word. He loved me anyway. So yeah, it is a privilege. I’m sorry that Walter didn’t see it that way.”
“I’m tired,” Ryder said after a moment. “Are you?”
“Bagged is more like it.”
“Would you like to come home with me? I’m sure it’s less crowded than at your sister’s. Please give me a chance to make Lutsen up to you, and to take away some of your pain. Mostly the portion that I’ve caused.”
“What about Walter?”
“He’s stable right now, and the nurses said they’d call me if he takes another turn for the worse. Besides, I’ve said my goodbyes, and so has my dad. There’s been closure.”
Hannah drew in a big breath. She really was tired. Exhausted. “Well, since I’m apparently your girlfriend now…” she said slowly a small smile playing on her lips. “I suppose I have privileges too.”
“Damn straight.” He reached for her hand, and she clasped it firmly. “Let’s go.”
The Rebound: A Rochester Riot Sports Romance Page 16