Taste of Lacey

by Linden Hughes

  “Hi, Rye,” came the cheerful greeting.

  “Hi. This is my girlfriend, Lacey. Lacey, Charlotte.”

  His gut lurched when Lacey extended her hand with a strained smile.

  “Aren’t you a pretty little thing? I can see why Ryder is so smitten.” Charlotte pressed into him for a hug. It was a struggle not to jerk away. “Good seeing you,” Charlotte said before joining several other patrons.

  The ride back to the brownstone was quiet and tense. By the time they stepped into the living room, his frustration reached all the way to China. His ire grew when Lacey took off her earrings in short, terse motions before she flung her purse in the closet.

  “Is it possible to go anywhere in this city and not run into someone you’ve fucked, plucked, and/or sucked?”

  Well, hell. The low blow stung, immobilizing him. “Lacey, don’t look for trouble where there is none. Charlotte and I dated years ago. She was just saying hello.”

  She arched one silky eyebrow. “Really? You must have talked to her recently, because she knew about me,” she pointed out. “I am so fucking tired of your women, Ryder.”

  He was taken aback by her ferocity. He’d known a storm was brewing, but hadn’t expected such a large explosion. “That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?”

  “And I didn’t know you went for older women,” she continued.

  “She’s in her late thirties, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

  “What would have happened if I hadn’t been there?”

  “What do you mean?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. Obviously her motive was to fuck you—again. She was handing you the opportunity. You tell me.”

  He exhaled. “I can’t believe this shit, Lacey. Nothing happened. You were there. You saw the whole thing. What is this about?”

  She kept right on as if he hadn’t spoken. “I was thinking maybe you’d take her up on her super friendliness and then sweep it under the rug like it never happened. Just like you did Natalie’s little antics. You lost your damn mind when you found out I had a friend over for dinner, but you haven’t said a word to me about having your arms around another woman. I saw the pictures.”

  “Damn it.” He ran his hand through his hair, hoping the motion would help calm his nerves. “Nothing happened with Natalie or with anyone else if you can manage to believe me.”

  “Believe what? We haven’t even talked about it!” she shrieked. “Why does everyone think I’m a child who can’t handle anything unpleasant? I’m not delicate. I will not break at mere words.”

  He took a breath and fought hard to keep his cool. “No, but you also don’t have to fight every battle by yourself. I know you won’t break, but why can’t you allow me to take care of you?”

  “Like you took care of Natalie? Like you would have taken care of Charlotte?” she asked with serious attitude just short of a neck roll.

  Rye closed his eyes and tilted his face toward the ceiling. He needed strength. His strides full of purpose, he went to the hallway off the kitchen where he typed a few commands in the laptop on the desk. Within seconds he accessed his work e-mail and displayed a string of messages between him and George Hanover. Lacey followed him, looking over his shoulder. Her surprise was obvious when she learned Natalie had received a temporary assignment at the company’s architecture division in Canton, Ohio.

  Lacey frowned once she finished reading. “How’d that come about?”

  He sighed. “Too many things at the conference didn’t make sense. I laid into Paula for the change in my schedule, the pot was stirred, and she got IT and security involved. It seems Natalie was busy scheming. My phone wasn’t dropped in water; she pretended it was so she could get your information. She also made duplicates of my room key and had a coworker she’d been sleeping with take pictures of her and me. The ones she sent you.”

  “It still doesn’t explain why they looked so intimate or why you had your hands on her.”

  “I let her have my jacket when she said she was cold. I danced with her just like the rest of the guys danced with her and the other female engineers—no big deal. It looked intimate because the picture was snapped when she hugged me to thank me for the dance. She was stupid enough to document everything in the notes section of her phone, including her encounters with you. She embarrassed George and caused the other employee who already had two strikes to lose his job. George is a good man and my boss of fifteen years. He asked me to keep this quiet, so I did.”

  “Couldn’t you have told me a little of this? Especially since you knew she sent those pictures to me?”

  “Because I expected you to trust me. Would you have believed me without the e-mails as proof? And since we’re talking about keeping secrets, you didn’t bother to tell me Natalie threatened you. I had to find out from Hanover’s IT techs.”

  Lacey sucked in her breath. “You had other things on your mind this afternoon when you got home besides talking, remember? Plus, it’s possible Natalie could have been bluffing. For the record, I do not believe you slept with her.”

  He couldn’t help his scowl. It was better than exposing his heart, which was taking a beating. “But you believe with a little more ‘motivation’ I could have?”

  “Yes,” she confirmed without hesitation.

  “So you think I want to fuck every woman I see?”

  “No. But I can tell when a woman wants to fuck you,” Lacey retorted, eyes flashing angrily. “Like the woman at the ballet or the park or the grocery store. Or every damn place we go. Kyle is right. You can’t change how easily getting women comes to you, and I shouldn’t expect it.”

  He exhaled forcefully, and the effort seemed to burn his lungs. The pain of realizing Lacey’s lack of faith in him was overwhelming. “Are you kidding me? You’re holding me responsible for what might happen, even though I’ve shown you how much I want you? Need you? I need you, Lacey. You should know that by now.”

  Lacey shook her head in several slow passes, her face a stony mask. “We’ve already lasted longer than you normally do with your women, which is only months. How long before the itch comes back and you decide to scratch it? Maybe that’s why you don’t mind the travel aspect of your job; it gives you the perfect excuse not to put down roots. I know it and you know it. We’ve been in denial.”

  He was stunned. The words tumbling from her beautiful lips couldn’t be real. In total recall, he replayed his conversation with George Hanover yesterday. The one giving Rye official approval for the new technical training department he’d develop and manage—at home in Atlanta. His new position came with a set schedule and little travel. He didn’t share the news with Lacey. She was looking for a way out, and he wouldn’t be reduced to using this new development to beg her to stay.

  “I never took you to be a coward, so come out with it,” he bit off.

  “I don’t see how this can work,” she said. She crossed her arms in front of her chest as if erecting a barrier. “It’s not only the legions of women that concern me. I’m worried about how our being together is changing my entire life. I rarely spend time with my family or my friends anymore. There’s a true distance between my mother and me, and it hurts. I’m obsessed with charging my phone every second of every day because I’m paranoid about missing a call from you when you’re working in places where they have to pump sunlight. My brother has lost his best friend. For the first time in my life I want to physically harm people just for looking at you. I don’t even recognize myself these days.”

  Don’t do this, don’t do this, don’t do this, he wanted to shout, but the words were stuck around the lump in his throat. With a few sharp phrases, everything he imagined they would build together splintered and was swept away as effortlessly as toothpicks in a tornado.

  He cleared his throat and forced words through clenched teeth. “I didn’t realize you were so miserable.”

  “And I become more miserable every time I’m confronted with some woman from yo
ur past who also wants to be your future. How am I supposed to handle this on a daily basis? I have a company to run and people to manage. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with your castoffs,” she said, further twisting the knife in his chest. “In fact, I wonder now if it was a mistake to stop using condoms. That was a huge step for me, and we probably should have kept that safety precaution in place. Just in case.”

  The second cut was equally as devastating as the first, but this time at least he expected it. He supposed he’d get used to the pain at some point. That was a long way off. Now he was mad as hell. She wasn’t the only one who didn’t have time for this.

  “Because I can’t keep my dick in my pants, right? I guess you have a point. Heaven forbid I expose you since I’m so likely to stray,” he said; then he fished his keys out of his pocket and ran the opening of one around the ring, in quick, repetitive motions.

  She stood in the same spot where she’d been since they came through the door, still looking gorgeous in her formal gown.

  “Wh-what are you doing?” she asked in a small voice.

  “Making this easy for you,” he muttered, walking toward her. He stopped when he was close enough to see the golden striations in her chocolate eyes. Goddamn she was beautiful. Ignoring the searing pain of disillusionment under his ribs, he extended the cold, metal key toward her, and in a seemingly automatic reaction, she closed her fingers around it. Jaw slack, she looked up at him like he’d handed her a snake.

  “The last thing I want is for you to be miserable. And ‘for the record,’ I never asked you to stay away from your friends and family, or to be glued to the phone. And because Kyle is sulking like a selfish child, I lost my best friend too. All I wanted was you, and I thought we were in the same place. I was mistaken.”

  He gave a short, humorless laugh. “Maybe you’re right. Perhaps you know me better than I know myself. Maybe I can’t settle down and build a life with one woman, but guess what, Lacey? I’m damn sure going to try. I want to build my dream house on the lake, spend evenings swinging on the porch, and plant roots so fucking deep they’ll last forever. I want what your parents have and my parents have, and I’m going to keep looking until I find the woman who wants the same, who’s not afraid of losing control. Someone who trusts me. But don’t worry. I have no intention of bothering you with my problems anymore. Hell, it’s still early. I just might find her tonight,” he said before turning and walking out the door.

  AS IF THE soft click brought her out of a trance, Lacey absorbed what had just happened.

  Rye was gone.

  He was gone, and she’d sent him away.

  “Oh God. Oh God,” she wailed. Then she repeated the cry as she tore at her clothes. They were binding her, smothering her. Swath after swath of expensive magenta material fell from her body as she ripped and pulled until she was naked. The more she became exposed, the more it became clear she’d lost the man she loved to her own insecurities. As if demons were chasing her, she ran up the stairs only to come to an abrupt stop and sit in a listless heap on her bed. Rye was gone. Hot, stinging tears slid down her cheeks, and somehow her heart still managed to beat even though it had been jerked from her chest. By her own hands.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “I’ll be there in ten minutes, and I don’t want any back talk.” Lacey smiled as she listened to Monica’s “I mean business” voice. “You’re going.”

  In the prescribed time, Monica pulled up, and Lacey was waiting outside. Monica shook her head when she took in Lacey’s plain sundress and flat sandals. “You look like a spinster librarian, but at least you’re out of the house,” Monica said, her voice dry.

  “Yeah, and you’re taking me away from the Andy Griffith marathon I was watching, heifer.”

  Monica rolled her eyes. “I don’t care. You’ve been holed up in that house for two solid months, and I’m sick of looking at your pitiful behind. You need some social interaction.”

  “Hey, I went to see my parents yesterday.”

  “Doesn’t count. You need recreational social activity. Tonight, you are going to have a damn drink and sing some damn karaoke and have a good time, damn it.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Lacey replied warmly to her cousin. “Who’d you say was going to be there?”

  “Kyle and Ally and Micah are saving us seats. Lisa’s not coming because she had a showing and she’s ‘too tired.’ Not that we’re sad about that,” Monica added.

  Kyle was doing just what he said he would. Over the past few weeks, he’d made more of an effort to be available for her as she attempted to get over Rye. Every time she thought about him tightened invisible bands around her chest.

  “Okay.” That darn Monica. She was a friend to the end. At first she’d given Lacey space to nurse her broken heart, but now she was on a mission to bring her back to the living, and Lacey loved her for it. She buckled her seat belt just as Monica backed out of the driveway.

  “I saw him yesterday,” Lacey said as she crossed her legs that were more slender since her recent weight loss. Since she didn’t have to feed Rye anymore, her desire to eat had lessened. Everything she used to find joy in had diminished.

  “Rye? Did you talk to him?” Monica asked, her eyes wide, hopeful.

  “No. I watched from my room at Mom’s as he helped some blonde into the Jeep,” she said, fighting to keep her voice from wobbling. She imagined being blasted by a hot bowl of grits would hurt less than seeing him with another woman. But what could she say? He was no longer hers. She’d made damn sure of it.

  “You know what? I’ve had it. You’ve wallowed in misery long enough, and now you’ve gotta deal with it. This is what happens when you give other bitches an engraved invitation to your man,” Monica groused as she parked. When she got out, she slammed her car door and strolled toward the karaoke bar-slash-dance club they used to frequent.

  Lacey followed, acknowledging Monica was right. She’d given Rye away on a platter because she couldn’t get over her self-doubt enough to trust him. He’d moved on like he said he would. She’d be happy for him if it didn’t mean every breath she took resulted in a stabbing pain in her chest. She missed him, but it was too late for regrets.

  Before they walked into the popular nightspot, Monica grasped Lacey’s shoulders and looked her in her eyes. “You can always go to him.”

  Pain rippled through Lacey. The despair she hauled around was like a tumor: large, worthless, and ever present. “You didn’t see his face, Monica. You didn’t hear the awful things I said.”

  “If I knew how to heal a broken heart, I would, but I can only offer a bandage. So for tonight, try to relax and enjoy yourself.”

  Lacey hugged her cousin and friend. “I know, and I’m going to try.”

  Inside, they eased their way through the throng of partygoers and found Ally and Micah at a table near the front.

  “Where’s Kyle?” Monica asked.

  “At the bar getting drinks. It’s so packed the servers are taking forever to get around to everybody,” Ally said. Then she turned big brown, sympathetic eyes on Lacey. “How are you?”

  “Fine,” Lacey answered, forcing a smile. How she wished her heart felt the same.

  RYE COULDN’T BELIEVE his ears when he heard the message from Kyle asking to meet for drinks. They hadn’t exchanged a civil word since their blowup when Kyle had refused to accept his dating Lacey. Since that was a thing of the past, Kyle ought to be ecstatic. Ever so slowly, Rye made his way through the throng of bodies and spotted his childhood friend at the bar.

  “What’s up, Bishop?”

  Kyle turned in a quick twist, as if surprised to find Rye standing beside him. “How’s it going, McKay? After our last talk I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

  “It’s all good. No hard feelings,” Rye said, straddling the empty stool beside Kyle. Through the mirror behind the bar, he saw the multitude of people gyrating to the fast-paced music pounding into the walls. They were all so damn happy and energetic. The
entire scene made his head throb.

  Rye gave the bartender his beer order.

  “What’s with the suit, man?” Kyle asked.

  “Some of us have to work for a living.”

  Kyle looked at his watch. “This time of night? You’re slipping.”

  “I’m making a lot of changes in my department.” He would never share with his ex-girlfriend’s brother, who hadn’t wanted them together in the first place, how work was his salvation right now. Pushing through twelve-hour days to get the new department up and running was the only thing keeping him sane.

  Kyle nodded. “Congratulations, by the way. Pinnacle is going to bid on the contract to build the simulation center,” he said, referring to the new training facility Rye would manage. “So you and Elly called it quits?”

  Rye tried not to blanch at the mention of Lacey. “A couple of months ago. But it’s no less than you expected, right?” he voiced, nursing his beer between his palms. His bitterness could not be helped; he had plenty to spare.

  “You doing all right?”

  Rye shrugged. “I’ve been better.”

  “Hey, I didn’t want either of you to get hurt, but I could see it coming a mile away. I know you, McKay, and you don’t do long-term. And when have you ever stayed with one woman more than a month? You’re just like me. You can’t even spell commitment. Hit and quit. It’s what we do, and we both know she deserves better.”

  “With Lacey.”

  Kyle frowned and then widened his eyes. “What?”

  “You asked when I’d ever stayed with anyone more than a month. Lacey and I were together four times longer.”

  Glimpsing again at the smoky mirror behind the bar, Rye stiffened when he saw the next singer taking the stage. Lacey. He must have sucked in acid instead of oxygen, because with his next breath his lungs burned like hell. He was caught off guard, having had no idea she was here. Not that she seemed to be experiencing any of the problems plaguing him day and night. Longing, hunger, need, hurt. In fact she looked more beautiful than ever. He couldn’t tear his eyes away when she laughed as she held a microphone up to the man joining her onstage. An animal-like growl threatened when the guy grasped her hand and they began singing “Endless Love.”