Silas

by Tilly Delane

  “His real name is George,” I carry on explaining. “George Benson.”

  I need to keep her safe, close. I need to keep her close. I need to keep her mine.

  I force myself to look at her and realise there is a whole seat width between us in space. She is looking at me with questions and worry in her eyes and it’s the concern that gets me.

  I reach out for her hand and my heart trips when she takes it.

  Grace

  Something happens, I don’t know what, and suddenly, just like that, he’s back in the room, taxi, whatever. He reaches out across the gulf between us and takes my hand in his.

  Electricity shoots up my arm, giving me tingles all over.

  This man. I’m doomed.

  He gently tugs, to bring me to his side, and I close the gap. His other arm comes up to cradle my cheek, his fingers sprawled, the way he does, and he leans over to give me the gentlest of kisses.

  “I’m sorry for tonight, Grace.”

  There is a whole load I want to say to him, but I’m too happy to have my Silas back to spoil the mood. Especially when he starts stroking down my throat, running his hand down to the swell of my breast, only to slip the tips of his fingers under the neckline. I shiver and feel my nipples stiffen against the fabric. He looks down at them.

  “You’re not wearing a bra,” he mumbles, and then he ducks his head down and bites that hard pebble through my dress. My butt lifts off the seat and I suppress the loud moan that wants to escape me.

  In the front, Kalina and the driver are still talking, about K-pop, of all things, but I’m not sure they are entirely oblivious to what is going on behind them. The thing is, it doesn’t put a damper on it for me. It just makes it hotter. Silas’ face comes up to mine again and he starts kissing me fervently. I notice an urgency in him that wasn’t there before. He’s still holding back, but I can feel a need that’s new. While his tongue tangles with mine, his hand dives under the dress fully and he cups my breast, kneading it and flicking my nipple just the way he knows I like. Blindly, my hand wanders over to his crotch and finds his cock, straining against the suit pants. I rub him hard through the slightly scratchy material, feeling around his shape as best I can. He groans quietly into my mouth and the sound sends a jolt of pure pleasure to my core.

  I’m vaguely aware that the taxi has come to a stop, and then I hear Kalina and the driver clear their throats. Silas and I split apart and see their faces turned to us in the gap between the driver’s seat and the passenger side. Kalina is pulling a ‘get a room’ face and the driver is grinning from ear to ear.

  I feel myself blush, which is something I haven’t done since high school. Silas remains unfazed and pays the driver while Kalina and I get out. Kalina fishes in her clutch for a house key.

  “You two,” she whispers, and then she makes an ooh la la kind of gesture, grinning broadly.

  I don’t think I’ve seen anyone flick their fingers like this in real life, ever. It’s cute. I want to thank her for taking me shopping and doing my hair and everything today, but as soon as she lets us into the house, she skips up the stairs at record speed, leaving me behind to wait for Silas.

  “Have fun,” is the last thing I hear her say before she shuts her door upstairs.

  A second later, strong arms wind around my waist from behind and hands land possessively on my belly. He pulls me back, pushing his hard cock up against my ass, and then he nuzzles through my hair until he finds the side of my neck. His lips latch onto the delicate skin he finds there and he sucks gently. Still standing in the open doorway, I start grinding against him. He growls though his tongue never stops drawing circles within the suction.

  “Silas,” I pant.

  I can’t help myself, I take one of his hands in mine and slide it up my body until it finds my right breast. He starts massaging it through my dress, synchronizing his movement with the heavy circles his other hand is rubbing over my abdomen. It feels absolutely amazing, this pressure going through me. Like he’s found a pleasure spot I hadn’t even known existed, deep down in the belly of the beast. My entire sex is humming with desire for him now and I know a finger fuck will just not be enough, not tonight.

  I want all of him.

  I want him to fill me up and feel him shudder as he shoots his come inside me.

  I reach around to clasp my hands to his hips and gyrate my buttocks harder against his cock, practically making him dry hump me from behind. He groans, pulling me even tighter against him. He stops sucking my neck and I can hear him breathe heavily as he runs his mouth up to my ear, only to say the words I’m dying to hear.

  “Tonight you’re mine. Completely.”

  Silas

  I finally shut the front door behind us, and then I gently push her up the stairs, cradling her hips in my hands. Her ripe arse sways before me and I can smell her through the thin fabric of her dress. I can’t wait to sink myself into her. Rage and lust have somehow fused within me into a burning need to possess this woman, tonight.

  I’m done hiding.

  I’m done locking doors.

  He will never have this one.

  This one is mine.

  We arrive outside our bedroom and she turns around to face me. She slides her arms around my neck, cradles the back of my head in her hands and looks deep into my eyes. She is trying to simmer us down a bit, but my heart is beating so fast it’s scary and my dick is so hard it’s painful. I can’t hold back now, and she can see it in my eyes.

  “No condom,” she says, decisively.

  And I stop breathing.

  I don’t ask her if she’s sure, I just kiss her again and gently push her back, all the way through the door until the back of her legs hit the bed.

  Grace

  He doesn’t quarrel and the thought of having him bare gives me a new high of anticipation as he backs me through the door, kicks it shut without letting go, and then I find myself with the back of my legs up against the bed.

  I’m not stupid, I’ve thought about it.

  One of the perks of fooling around for a bit without fully doing the deed is we’ve had conversations. Many. About everything. He knows I have an implant, not that I’ve really needed it in the last few years, and that in any case I’ve never done it without a condom. None of the boys ─ and yes, they were boys compared to him, here, now ─ I’d been with were innocent enough for me to take the risk. And none of them stuck around long enough to take the test.

  I know Silas did take one, after Niamh, and says he always used condoms with the only other woman he was with after her. I believe him. A flash of jealousy goes through me when I think of Niamh and that I’m giving him one of my firsts that he can’t give in return any longer.

  I would have wanted that, for me.

  It’s an oddly possessive feeling that I’ve never had before about anyone.

  I’d think about it more, but he’s got me up against the bed, kissing me hard, while my arms are still wrapped around his neck, holding on for sheer balance, and his hand is going under the short side of my dress and starts pulling at my panties. All thought process goes South. When my panties are halfway down, trapping me, his palm travels up on the inside of my thigh and he cups my whole sex in his hand. He begins massaging it in undulating circles, the way he was massaging my belly earlier. Hidden away in my slick, slick folds, my clit goes nuts from the diffused pressure. Drop after drop of my creamy syrup finds its way onto his hand through the closed slit, and he keeps rubbing it all over my mound, slicking me up from the outside. I don’t know if I want to scream with ecstasy or frustration. He hitches up the rest of my dress with his other hand and starts kneading my ass, one finger resting in my crack, lying at the entrance to my anus. Just lying there, doing nothing, driving me wild, making me moan loudly.

  He stops kissing me to push his body up against me further, so that we’re cheek to cheek and he can move the hand on my ass down and around between my legs. As he moves, the woolly material of his suit jacket cuf
f scratches over my butt cheeks. He opens my slit from behind, and I can feel myself spilling onto his hand. His breath hitches next to my ear.

  “You’re so, wet, Grace, always so wet,” he mumbles then licks the soft skin behind my ear as his hand with all my juices on it travels back up my ass.

  I love how he calls me by my name. Not babe, not doll, always Grace.

  He leaves a trail of wetness when his fingers travel up my crack, and then one of them pushes in a little. Playful. Testing. I jerk forward with pleasure, mewling. We haven’t done this before. I’ve never done this before, never let anyone even close to that part of me. The idea always seemed too lewd but God, it’s good. He plays around the rim a bit more and sparks fly through me, different from anything I’ve ever known. I’m close to coming and he hasn’t even touched my pussy yet, not directly.

  “You like?” he asks hoarsely into my ear, and all I can do is nod and make a strangled noise of pleasure.

  “Good,” he says then lets go of all of me abruptly to take a step back.

  Through my lust-addled haze, I watch him shrug out of his jacket, undo his belt and push his trousers and briefs down, just far enough to let his cock spring free. I reach out for it, but he catches my hands midair.

  “No. Turn around. Put your hands on the bed.”

  He smiles and lets go of me. I do what he asks. I hear him unbutton his shirt cuffs and rolling up his sleeves before he lifts the hem of my dress again and bunches it up around my waist. My legs are still restrained by my half down panties, but he doesn’t make any move to take them off.

  Instead, he just spreads my legs as far as they will allow, until the fabric digs almost painfully into the side of my thighs, and then he positions himself at my entrance. I’m so bound like this, I can’t spread my pussy for him, so he reaches around and holds the lips apart. He slowly starts sliding into my hole, holding his cock in the other hand, guiding himself in. He doesn’t ram into me in one stroke but moves in tantalizing increments, back and forth, a quarter of an inch at a time. I contract around him with every new move he makes, and his cock responds with little shudders. When he’s about half in, he leans over my back, works his arm under my dress and up, so his hand reaches my left breast, and he cradles it in a firm grip. He angles himself above me, so his other hand can slide around my ass and his thumb finds my anus. He caresses it teasingly, just like before, as he presses his other arm down across my abdomen, holding me tight. Then, suddenly, he pushes the rest of his length all the way inside me, hard this time.

  And then he starts fucking me.

  There is no fooling around any longer.

  He possesses me.

  From inside.

  Slowly but forcefully at the same time, barely pulling out of me before he rams back in.

  Filling me up completely the entire time.

  Never withdrawing.

  It’s relentless.

  He fucks me with one hand on my tit, an arm across my belly, his cock all the way inside me and his free hand wandering back and forth between pushing his thumb into my ass and his fingers playing with my clit. Until it stays at my back.

  “Rub yourself,” he tells me with a hoarse voice, and I do.

  I circle my clit feverishly, while his thumb fucks my ass and his cock fills me completely, undulating in a steady rhythm.

  And then I come.

  I come so hard I find out why the French call it ‘the little death’.

  Silas

  I’m balls-deep inside of her when she starts milking me and already barely hanging on. So I let my orgasm claim me and we come together. Blissful oblivion engulfs me as I fill her up, shuddering violently.

  Our legs buckle in unison and we collapse onto the bed, a tangle of humans, clothes and juices.

  I can’t believe that just happened.

  I’ve managed to get there without the doors shut.

  I’ve felt a woman come on my dick.

  I want to both laugh and cry. I’m still inside her after I shift a little to the side in order not to crush her, and I carry on holding her tight from behind.

  I never want to let go.

  I look at her pretty hair, the fabric leaves adorning it, crushed like autumn foliage, and smile.

  “Wow,” she mumbles into the mattress then turns her head awkwardly over her shoulder to kiss me, a fleeting brush of the lips. “That was something.”

  I swallow hard and suddenly I feel sick.

  This is not how it should have been.

  Not with Grace.

  She deserves so much more than a filthy rage fuck with the clothes still on. She is so much better than this. She should have had the old me, not this fucked-up, distorted version. The irony doesn’t escape me that the girl who wanted it lewd and dirty got the sappy vanilla guy and this beautiful, gentle woman got the depraved arsehole. I start to pull out of her, but she reaches behind me to land a hand on my butt and holds me to her.

  “Not yet.” she mutters. “Stay.”

  So I stay.

  Grace

  Eventually, we grow sticky, cold and uncomfortable and we decide to go have a bath together.

  I sit between Silas’ legs in the steaming tub, facing away from him, and he carefully takes the braids and decorations out of my hair, leaving them on the edge of the tub. When he’s taken the last braid out, he sweeps my hair to the side and kisses my neck. Then he slings his amazing arms around me and gathers me in them as he lies back. I sink against his chest, letting my hands run up and down his beautiful forearms and turn my head to look up at his face. Even from this weird angle, I can see there is a myriad of emotions playing on it. It’s almost too intimate to bear. I quickly give up trying to decipher each and every one of them.

  “Tell me something,” I say. My voice comes out hushed.

  “Like what?” He smiles down at me.

  “Tell me a half-truth you tell people then tell me the true truth.”

  He frowns.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You know,” I say, reaching up into the short beard that’s growing over his face by now to run my fingers through it. “Something you tell them that’s true, but you are, like, omitting a whole loada shit in between.”

  “You like the beard?” he asks me instead.

  I snake my arm up around his neck and pull him in for a quick kiss and savor the way it feels against my skin.

  “I like you either way,” I say when I release him.

  He looks into my eyes for a long time after that and my heart suddenly starts beating like crazy again. It’s then that I realize the difference between this man and all the rest. We can go from cozy and chilled to hot and the chills in two seconds just by looking at each other.

  He smirks, sharing my thoughts. His cock stirs against my back. He comes in for another kiss, but I put a finger up to his lips, holding him off.

  “Half truth and true truth first,” I demand.

  He draws back and then kisses the inside of my palm.

  “Give me an example,” he hedges.

  “Like when I used to tell people I couldn’t come dancing ‘cause Mum was sick, when the whole truth was, I didn’t want to come dancing because I didn’t know if that would be the night she’d die.”

  He thinks for a moment then nods pensively.

  “I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone,” he says slowly.

  I frown at that. Not quite sure if he is stalling again or if this is his answer.

  “So what’s the whole truth?” I ask, settling on the latter option.

  He pins me in that copper-brown gaze of his again, and a whoosh of electricity goes through me, like a wave.

  “I’m going to miss us when you’re gone.”

  Silas

  It’s later that night, after we’ve dried ourselves and are all cuddled up like two cats, under the duvet in the dark, that I find the balls to apologise to her.

  “Sorry,” I mumble against her forehead as I run my hand in lo
ng strokes down her back.

  Her skin is super smooth, and I can’t get enough of the feel of her. I love holding her like this, lying on our sides, facing each other. There is something innocent and sweet about it that doesn’t often happen in my world.

  She chuckles.

  “What for?”

  “It shouldn’t have been like this,” I say, still talking to her hairline.

  She wriggles away a little, and I know she’s looking up, as if she could scrutinize me in the dark.

  “What shouldn’t have been like what?” she asks, and I can hear in her voice that I have genuinely completely lost her.

  “Our first time.”

  I breathe out, giving myself a pause before I force out the rest.

  “It should have been gentle and loving, not so...”

  I try to find a better word, but I can’t, so I stick with the truth.

  “Angry,” I finish.

  And she laughs. She fucking well laughs. Then she pushes me onto my back and clambers half on top of me, sideways across my chest. Her long hair falls around me and tickles my skin.

  “That was an angry fuck in Silas’ world?” she teases.

  I swallow hard. She has no idea. I pumped her full of my hatred and frustration.

  But before I can say any more, she runs her nose along mine and says softly, “If that was angry, what is gentle Silas like?”

  It’s a challenge.

  And I show her.

  Grace

  When I wake up the next morning, he’s not next to me, but I can still feel him all over my body.

  His gentle hands.

  His nose running down mine.

  His kisses like butterflies landing on my skin until my every nerve cell is awake.

  Touching me deliberately, carefully, everywhere but there.

  Then finally, finally entering me, followed by an eternity of slowly sliding in and out of me as he towers above me, arms poled either side of my head.

  Stroking me from the inside.

  Loving me.

  And still I came for him. Not hard but soft. An orgasm like stars dotted across a night sky. So unlike any other it made me cry a little.