What If

by Shirley Anne Edwards

  With Dylan holding me close, I couldn’t think. “I haven’t had the chance. It’s a bit of a sticky situation.”

  He rolled his eyes. He let me go and tucked his hands in his pockets. “Wendy, you’re the queen of making excuses. It’s going to be interesting to see who you’re kissing at midnight.”

  He had a point there. “I know.”

  “You better decide and fast. I’m not going to be the one left out, that’s for certain. You can tell buddy—”

  “She can tell me what?”

  We turned toward the staircase where the voice had come from. Pete mimicked Dylan with his own hands in his pants’ pockets. My heart sped up and sweat trickled down my back. This was so not good.

  “Pete.” I stepped toward him, but Dylan took possession of my arm. Pete’s eyes grew hard.

  This felt like a scene right out of some romance novel, but I wasn’t some too-stupid-to-live heroine to be fought over.

  “Guys, please don’t fight. Pete, Dylan and I were just talking. He’s upset I haven’t stopped by his table to say hello to him and his mother.”

  Pete walked forward with his hands still in his pockets. He focused on my mouth. Crap, I hoped it wasn’t too swollen from the kiss Dylan and I had shared.

  Dylan crossed his arms and stared Pete down. He moved a step closer to me.

  “What do you need to tell me, Wendy?” Pete asked.

  I couldn’t think of anything to say. Dylan beat me to it.

  “She needs to decide who she wants to dance with at midnight.” He raised an eyebrow. That smug expression on his face was more for Pete’s benefit than my own.

  Pete lifted his arm and pointed at his watch. “She has two hours until then.”

  “Hey, don’t talk about me as if I’m not standing here. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe I don’t want to dance with either one of you at midnight.” I crossed my arms and tapped my foot. “So there.”

  “Yeah, right,” the boys said at the same time, and crossed their arms.

  I leaned against the wall and hid my face in my palms. “This is quite the pickle,” I moaned.

  “Honey, you’re the main reason we’re in this pickle to begin with,” Dylan responded.

  I swiped my finger over my mouth and some of my lipstick came off. Now I would have to really go to the bathroom and check to make sure I didn’t smear it on my cheek or chin.

  Pete stepped forward again, and Dylan pressed up against my side. The tension in the room almost choked me.

  “This is what I’m going to do. First, I’m going to the bathroom. Then I’m going to sit with Dylan at his table. After that, I’ll figure out what to do next. Okay?”

  The boys didn’t look too convinced. I shook my head and pushed Dylan out of the way. If they planned to come to blows, I wouldn’t be there when they did. I stomped into the bathroom and gazed at the mirror. No smudges. I kept an ear open for any fighting or yelling. It was quiet.

  I washed my damp palms and took a few more deep breaths to steady myself. A group of women entered. That was my cue to leave.

  The boys were missing. More snow fell outside, and I rubbed my arms from the cool draft. When I reached the second landing, Pete slouched against the wall. Before I could say a word, he strode over, cupped my face, and gave me one of the fiercest and hungriest kisses I’d ever received from him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, my mouth moved along with his. My lips clung to his, and I moaned in delight.

  Before our kissing got out of control and I ended up with him on the floor, he released me. I felt dizzy and grabbed the wall to steady myself. He gave me another kiss, this time on the forehead, and tapped his thumbs against my cheeks. “See you at midnight.”

  He jogged up the stairs, whistling.

  The next two hours would be the longest of my life.

  Chapter Twenty

  The huge grandfather clock in the foyer showed 11:30 p.m. Thirty minutes until midnight and I was a nervous wreck. I made sure to cut back on the amount of soda I ingested. Caffeine and sugar were not my friends, especially when I had such a huge decision to make.

  I sat in the corner, rubbing my throbbing feet after I’d danced a few songs with Dylan. I refused to feel guilty while in his arms. Pete had his time with me at the beginning of the night, now I gave Dylan equal time.

  “Feet hurt?” Pete sat across from me.

  “What gave you that idea?” I held up my stocking leg and grimaced.

  He reached down, grabbed my foot, and massaged it. I checked to see if anyone would notice, but no one was around.

  When he dug his thumb into the arch of my foot, I bit my lip, holding off a whimper. “I don’t think you’ve ever massaged my feet. Trying to get on my good side?”

  He shrugged. “I thought I got on your good side when I kissed you stupid on the stairs.”

  “Your sexy lips are not going to be the reason I pick you at midnight.”

  “You know this isn’t a game, Wendy. Stop acting like it is.”

  I pulled my foot away and put on my shoes that made me want to wear slippers for the rest of my life. “You’re right. It’s not a game.” I stood. “Anyway, I still need to give you something.”

  I left Pete sitting there. He came up beside me as I crossed the dance floor and returned to our empty table. Dylan was nowhere to be seen, which I guess was a blessing in disguise. The crowd covered the dance floor, watching a big screen showing Times Square in Manhattan where the ball would drop. My mother had left her purse under the table. I wanted to yell at her for leaving it unattended, but I was more concerned with Pete and snagged his present.

  “Let’s exchange gifts.” I searched for a place where we wouldn’t be interrupted.

  He touched my elbow and motioned his head behind us. A glass door led into another hallway.

  “We can always go into the foyer and sit,” I said in a loud voice over the music.

  “I know a better place.” He took my hand and pulled me over to the closed door. He opened it and in we went. The hall was dark but lit enough we could see where we were going.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “You’ll see,” he said over his shoulder.

  We reached another door. He opened it, and we entered the empty indoor pool room. The pool water was clear blue from the lights shining down from the ceiling. We were surrounded by long, wide windows that showed a snowy wonderland outside.

  “How did you know about this?”

  He sat in one of the lounge chairs, and I sat across from him. “I did some investigating. I didn’t want anyone to bother us.”

  “You don’t want Dylan to find us.” I wanted to smack my forehead. What had come out of my mouth sounded so wrong. The hurt expression on his face made me feel like total crap. “Pete—”

  In the distant, the sound of cheers erupted.

  “What time is it?”

  “We still have time until midnight. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you’re back with Dylan before then.”

  “I didn’t mean to bring up Dy…him. Ignore me. Soooo…who should go first?” I held up his candy-cane wrapped gift. I guess my asinine comment wasn’t too damaging. He eyed his gift like he wanted to grab it from me.

  “Want to stick to tradition?” he asked, knowing full well I liked to open my present last.

  “Here.” I handed him the gift, and he hugged it to his chest. I covered my mouth from laughing out loud as he shook it and put it up to his ear.

  “Peter,” I growled. I hated when he did that.

  “No card?”

  “Have I ever given you a card before?” I was bad that way. Good at giving gifts but not cards, including ones for birthdays.

  He ripped off the wrapping and opened the slim, square white box. His expression was priceless. I wish I’d owned a camera. He held up the dark-brown leather-bound journal. In the middle of the cover was a silver plaque with his full name and birth date. Also in the box were two ballpoint pens, one dark blue, the
other black, both inscribed with his name.

  His eyes sparkled and looked wet. He held out his hand, and I took it. He drew me down next to him on the lounge. Not saying anything, he curved an arm around my shoulders and caressed the cover with his fingers.

  “Thank you, Wonder Woman,” he said in a gruff voice, and rubbed his nose against my cheek. I tilted my head and lightly bumped my nose with his.

  “Here.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small white box with a dark-green bow on the top.

  “Same color boxes? Hmm…I wonder what it could be?” I shook it like he had done with his.

  I took off the bow and stuck it on top of his head. As I opened the box, something shined inside. A silver necklace attached to a flat heart-shaped locket lay on a bed of black velvet. I opened it with my fingernail, and my mouth dropped. Inside the locket were pictures of us—the left side of me, the right of him—the exact replica of the picture I had on my dresser of the day we went to the beach when we were younger.

  “Oh, Pete,” I gasped.

  He took the necklace and turned it over. On the back was an inscription. It had my full name, a heart below, his full name, and a date.

  “What does the date mean?” I had no idea why it was so special.

  “Our first play date. Remember the first day you came over to play with me?”

  “Vaguely.”

  He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “That was the day after we played hide-and-seek and you told me I was your ‘bestest’ friend that I wanted to be your best friend also. It took me a few more years to realize I’d fallen in love with you from that day on and wanted to be with you forever.”

  “Pete,” I whispered.

  He settled the necklace over my head. It hung down in between my breasts.

  “I’ve told you many times before how I care about you, Wendy. I’ve said I love you. But, I can barely count the number of times on one hand you’ve said you loved me.”

  “I do.” I was crying. I cupped his cheek. He pressed his forehead against mine.

  “Can you say it now? I need to hear it, to know—”

  I kissed him ever so lightly on the lips. “I love you,” I said against his mouth.

  He smiled and kissed me the same way. Our lips clung to one another and our breath mingled.

  Eventually, he took me in his arms, and we sat in the lounge chair as the sounds from the ballroom grew. After a few minutes more, cheers and music rang out.

  “I think it’s midnight.” I closed my eyes and enjoyed Pete playing with my hair.

  “Happy New Year Wendy.” He kissed the top of my head.

  “Happy New Year, Peter.” I kissed the middle of his chest and then moved up until our mouths met.

  We stayed like that long past midnight, our lips together and our hands entwined.

  I’d made my decision, and it felt so right. There was no going back.

  ***

  Things should have gone much smoother after that night. It didn’t. I deserted Dylan to be with Pete at midnight. No other man would tempt me to leave Pete ever again. The locket I wore proved how committed I was to him.

  When I returned to school the first week of January, Pam barely talked to me. She had lost weight and looked tired. Every time I tried to speak to her, she would turn the other way or ignore me. When I asked Susie or Christina about her, they admitted they had no clue what was going on. I even went so far as to ask Megan. She wasn’t worried. Probably because she was too busy sucking face with the new center of the varsity basketball team. I wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up missing her period the next month.

  We were very much a unit again, a team. We had a stronger bond than ever before. I was giddy in love. One glance from him was all it took to make me want to skip down the halls and shout my happiness to the world.

  While I was getting ready to leave school for the day, I found a very unhappy Dylan next to my locker.

  I tried to be as friendly as I could. I really didn’t want to hurt anybody. But Dylan had to know I would eventually choose between him and Pete, and one of them would end up alone.

  “Hi, Dylan.” We hadn’t talked since New Year’s. I was too much of a coward, even though he’d called my house every day to talk to me. I told my parents to tell him I was too busy to talk or not home. They understood, especially after I showed them the new piece of jewelry I wore.

  He glared at my necklace. “You can wear his gift but still can’t wear mine, huh?” He leaned against my locker with his hands in his pockets.

  “That reminds me.” I unzipped my backpack and took out the box of barrettes. I didn’t feel right keeping them. “Here. You should take these back.”

  “Why?” He seemed confused.

  “I’m with Pete now.” It sounded so good to say it.

  Dylan rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “We’ve been here before. I give you less than a month before you find an excuse to come running back to me.”

  I really wanted to smack the smirk off his face. I clutched my fists together to stop myself. “That’s not going to happen. Pete and I talked things over, and we discussed how we feel about one another. I’m sorry it’s not you.”

  “Yeah, right.” He still wouldn’t take the box from me.

  “Why are you upset? There are too many girls to count at this school who would love to date you.”

  “They’re not you.”

  I couldn’t help but blush. Dylan sure had a way with words. “Can I get into my locker? I would like to get my books so I can leave for the day.”

  “So you can find that red-faced gorilla and finally reach third base?” he snarled.

  Again I struggled to keep from smacking him. “Okay. You’re hurting, I understand—”

  “You don’t understand anything.” He grabbed me by my arms and chucked me against the lockers.

  I searched the empty hall for help. “Dylan—”

  He shook me. “No, you listen. I…I don’t want to be with any other girl. Why can’t you see that?”

  I tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge. “Can you please let me go? If someone sees—”

  He jerked me up against him. His face was so close to mine that I inhaled his breath. “Afraid Petey boy will see us and run away crying? Good. I’d love nothing more than to pound him against the wall.”

  I blinked away tears and bit my lip hard, tasting blood, wishing this was all a nightmare.

  “Oh, Wendy.” He pushed my hair off my forehead. I flinched. “If only you could see how good it could be between us.” His mouth brushed my cheek and had just shifted over my lips when someone spoke behind him.

  “Dylan. Let. Wendy. Go. Now.” Toby stood there with Conner.

  I mouthed, “Help me.”

  Conner dropped a hand on Dylan’s shoulder. “Dylan, you’re scaring her.”

  He pushed his hips against mine and then released me. He snatched the box I held in a tight grip out of my hand.

  “Wendy is just returning something to me. We had a disagreement about it. That’s all. Right, Wendy?”

  I nodded and stared at the ground.

  “Hey, buddy, why don’t we go shoot some hoops in the gym?” Toby asked.

  “Sounds good.” Dylan gave his cousin a smile that had always given me butterflies. Now it sickened me.

  Toby gave Dylan a hard clap on the back and pulled him away. I found I could breathe again.

  “I’ll see you later, Wonder Woman.” Dylan rattled the box at me. He grabbed Toby, and they walked down the hall together.

  I covered my mouth with shaking hands and my throat closed up. Conner put an arm around my shoulders, and I leaned against him. He rubbed my back in soothing strokes. Eventually, I calmed down and thanked him.

  “You okay? Want to go see the nurse?” he asked in a very kind voice.

  “No. I’m okay. I’ve never seen him like that. He lost it. I…he…Pete and I are together now, and Dylan doesn’t like it.”

  “
I know.” Conner smiled.

  “Maybe I deserve it because I dated them both at the same time?”

  “No guy has a right to harass a woman and scare her. Dylan’s a jerk for doing that.”

  I moved out of Conner’s embrace and tried to remember the combination to my locker. “I’m surprised to hear you say that.”

  “Why?”

  “Everyone thinks he’s this great guy. Nine times out of ten he is, but then he does something like this. You’re part of his group, and with me and Pete.…”

  “Wendy, you may think nine times out of ten I’m not a great person because of who I hang out with. Have you ever thought you could be wrong? Even if you are with Pete as a friend or his girlfriend, it doesn’t matter to me one way or the other.”

  “But, you’re good friends with Anthony. That makes all the difference.” I finally opened my locker.

  “Yes, I am. He and Pete have a bad history together. But, just like you see something special in Pete, I see something special in Anthony.”

  Hmm. I’d never thought of it in those terms before. Conner had a big smile on his face, and he looked like he was daydreaming. He snapped out of it when I shut my locker.

  “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for taking care of Dylan. I thought I could, but I guess I can’t.”

  Conner lightly punched me on the arm. “No problem. I like solving problems, especially when a lovely lady is involved.”

  “You’re a good man to have around,” I joked. When Conner wasn’t with Anthony, he was a pretty okay guy.

  “You’re not bad yourself, Miss Wyman. Have a good one.” He gave me a thumbs-up and strode down the hall.

  I held my books to my chest and leaned against the lockers. My head was pounding. I’d have to stay out of Dylan’s way and make sure Pete did the same. Who knew how unstable Dylan could be as someone spurned?

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The day of my sixteenth birthday was a cloudy, wet, and cold Thursday. I wouldn’t go for my license until Saturday. But I made sure to take off from work. I would be given my gifts then.