Never Again, No More

by Untamed

  My anger boiled over inside as I thought of all the sacrifices I’d made for him and our children, and I slapped him on the cheek. “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again!”

  Tony rubbed his face and glared at me. Then he did something I’d never thought he’d do. He slapped my ass right back. “And you keep your fucking hands off me. He probably got that shit from your ass anyway!”

  He hit me so hard, it felt like he’d knocked my eyeballs out of their sockets. I sat there for a second, stunned not only by the impact of his hand but also by the fact that he’d actually hit me and spoken such harsh words.

  “I should—” I began angrily, but he interrupted me.

  “You should what?” he asked, walking up on me, daring me to test him.

  I remained silent, froze in place.

  “Say something!”

  I coiled up, afraid that he’d beat the hell out of me. “Why are you doing this?” I asked as tears began falling down my cheeks.

  Rather than respond, he huffed and walked to the door. “Fix my son, and you better not be telling all your little friends about this shit. The last thing I need is for people to know that my son is mentally challenged,” he said sternly. Then he walked out of the kitchen.

  I wanted to go kick him in his bad leg. How dare he accuse me of giving this condition to my son! On top of that, he acted like I alone would be responsible for our son’s care going forward.

  During the year after we found out about Tony Jr., Tony’s behavior didn’t get any better. It was damn near unbearable to deal with him, Junior’s autism, and a small baby all at once, but I loved Tony and figured I’d stay by his side until he got over the funk he was in. And here I was now, still waiting for this funk to end.

  As I was preparing dinner, my phone rang. “Finally calling me back, huh?” I asked, thinking it was Charice. She had never called me back last Sunday, even though she had said she would.

  “This is my first time calling you,” Tony said.

  “Oh! I thought you were Charice. How was your flight?”

  “Good. I’m at the hotel now. This shit is nice, for real. Ryan and the fellas will be here tomorrow. You know they got that game in Dallas tonight.”

  “Yeah.”

  “How are the babies?”

  That question brought a smile to my face. It was the first time he’d shown genuine interest in their well-being in a long time. “They are fine. LaMichael is playing, and Junior is watching television.”

  “You should try to get Junior to play with LaMichael, instead of allowing him to sit and watch television,” he said, his tone slightly rude.

  I huffed. “I’m trying to cook for them right now, Tony. Not all of us have the luxury of flying out for days on end to chill with our friends and act rich and fancy,” I said, smarting off, taking a dig at him.

  To my surprise, he came right back at me. “No, not all of us do. Those of us who don’t could be a little more responsible, don’t you think?”

  I looked at the phone. I could’ve reached through it and slapped him. “You’re right. Since it seems I’m the only responsible parent around here, let me get back to cooking and taking care of my babies, while you get back to relaxing in a hotel that your boy is paying for.”

  He sucked his teeth. “I could’ve afforded it myself if I still had a career,” he mumbled.

  “Be safe and stay out of trouble,” I said and ignored his comment.

  “I’ll call you and check up on you in a couple of days,” he told me.

  A couple of days? So that’s the game we’re playing now? I thought. “Why a couple?”

  “I just said it. I mean, I’ll probably call you tomorrow,” he said, sounding aggravated.

  “Probably?” I asked with a smirk. “Humph, okay. I guess I’ll probably answer.”

  “I guess you probably better,” he said sternly.

  “Bye, Tony,” I said and hung up in his face.

  I didn’t have time to go back and forth with him, and I’d grown rather tired of his awful attitude problem and mood swings. He had become unpredictable, like Georgia’s weather in the winter. You know, you’d wake up in the morning and it would be freezing cold and cloudy, but by noon the sun would be out, and by evening it would feel like summertime. Yeah, he was like that, brand new at any given hour of the day. But what I did know without a shadow of a doubt, was that something was going to have to change.

  Trinity

  As I sat there, I admired my handiwork. Although I hadn’t gone to art school, I had a talent for drawing and designing tattoos, and I missed doing it for extra cash. One word as to why I had stopped: Pooch. He had hated the fact that niggas were around me all the time, asking for a design, so I had stopped. Every now and then, a female would want a design, and I’d happily oblige, but for now, all I could do was admire my previous work.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” Terrence asked, with his signature smooth smirk.

  His shirtless body showed off three of my designs. One was on his back, another was on his arm, and the last one was tattooed on his chest. While I was waiting for him to get the kids ready to go, the tattoos had caught my eye.

  “I was just looking at my work, the tats,” I answered.

  “They are still the freshest thing to me. You need to get serious about that and pursue it.”

  “You know how Pooch is,” I said and waved off his comment.

  He tensed up and turned to look at me. “Fuck Pooch,” he said in a serious tone.

  Nope, after an entire weekend with Pooch and his antics, I wouldn’t go through the BS again with Terrence. I rolled my eyes and fanned him to continue what he was doing. “Can you hurry up? I need to get home.”

  He gave me the evil eye before turning his attention back to our son. “All right, little man, you’re all set. You like the jacket I bought you?” he said to Terry.

  “Yes, Daddy.” Terry smiled. “It’s the bestest.”

  Swiping his hand across Terry’s freshly cut hair, he smiled. “Best, little man. Just best,” Terrence said, correcting him. “I’ll pick you up from school tomorrow.”

  “Can I stay with you, Daddy, please?” Terry begged, hugging his leg.

  Angry, I jumped up. “Don’t start that crap, Terry—”

  Terrence shot a hard glare at me and put his hands up. “Fall back, Mama. I got this. Dude just wants to be around his daddy,” he told me. I did what he said as he turned back to Terry and kneeled down so that they were at the same eye level. “Look, man, you know you live with your mommy. I’m always going to be here for you. That’s my word. Now, your mommy misses you, so spend some time with her and your sisters, and tomorrow it’s me and you, okay?”

  Terry smiled. “Okay, Daddy,” he said, hugging him tightly.

  “I love you, little man.”

  “I love you too, Daddy.”

  Terrence stood, then picked up our daughter, Brittany, and hugged her. “You know I love you too. I would get you tomorrow, but you have to get your hair done. Daddy’s princess has to be cute all the time.”

  She laughed. “You silly, Daddy. I love you too,” she replied.

  “That’s my princess,” he said, then placed her down and zipped up her jacket.

  Although I fought this battle of the kids not wanting to leave their daddy all the time, I couldn’t help but admire the relationship he had with them. Terrence was absolutely wonderful with our kids, and they loved the hell out of him.

  Terrence handed me their overnight bags. “Let’s go, kids,” I said as I turned to go.

  “Hold up.” He stopped me.

  When I turned back around, he slipped money into my hand. Spreading the crisp bills, I counted out five hundred dollars. I gave him the side eye, because I knew that was a stretch for him. He was a brickmason, and with all the recent rain, business was slow.

  “You don’t have to give me that much. You know they’re well taken care of.”

  Terrence stood back, with a g
rimace on his face, and slid his thumb across his lips before he spoke. “Yo, kids, go to your bedroom for a second,” he ordered. They shuffled off to the bedroom.

  Lord knows I didn’t have time for this argument. “I gotta go, Terrence. Look, take a couple hundred back. I know business is slow right now.”

  The heat that radiated off him could’ve scorched my soul. “Let me tell you something. Those are my kids, not Pooch’s. I will take care of them, and I don’t need that nigga to do shit for me. So you taking this money, and I don’t want to hear a damn thing about it.”

  Was it always going to be a battle between those two? Beyond frustrated, I blurted, “Well, who you think was taking care of them when you were locked up?” The moment the comment came out, I regretted it, because I knew I was wrong for saying that.

  Terrence looked as if he could spit fire. Instead, he took a deep breath to gather some composure. “That’s fucked up, yo! I know I messed up really bad in more ways than one, but you ain’t gotta throw that up in my face. You know how I feel about my kids, Trinity.”

  Feeling remorseful, I grabbed his hands and expressed my regret. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just tired of dealing with the attitude from you and Pooch toward each other. I want him to respect that you are my kids’ father, and I want you to respect that he is my man.”

  “I do respect that. I just don’t like the fact that that nigga thinks he owns you, and I know he really don’t like having my kids around,” Terrence retorted, fuming.

  Hell, I couldn’t argue the point, so I didn’t try. “He is who he is, Terrence, but he takes care of all of us.”

  “That’s cool. He’s supposed to. But I also take care of mine. So take that money and do what you need for my kids. I saved it up.” He paused for a moment. “I’m not hurting, and no, I’m not slanging,” he assured me.

  “All right.” I nodded my head in agreement. “Come on, kids,” I shouted, and they came out of the bedroom. “See you tomorrow,” I told Terrence.

  As the kids and I were walking out the door, Terrence reached for my hand, and I came to a stop. “I meant what I said about messing up in more ways than one.”

  My heart began racing. I know he doesn’t mean what I think he means, I thought to myself. “Yeah,” I said, careful not to stir whatever he was trying to cook.

  Sensing my apprehension, he released my hand. “Be easy, li’l mama.”

  It’d been years since he’d called me that, and it made me blush. “You too, Dreads.”

  He smirked and rubbed my chin with his thumb. “Damn. You bringing me back.”

  I quickly jumped back. What the hell? Was that a tingle in my coochie that I just felt? Oh, no, I was not going to let Terrence ignite some kind of old-ass flame over here. I had to get away from this nigga . . . fast.

  “I gotta go,” I said, then quickly walked toward the kids, who were way ahead of me now.

  “I bet you do,” he said sarcastically.

  “Good night, Terrence,” I threw over my shoulder as I headed down the hallway, toward the main entrance to the building.

  After getting the kids in my Mercedes, I sat behind the wheel for a moment to collect myself. I put my hand down my pants. Yep, I was moist. How in the hell did that happen? I wasn’t trying to get caught up in any mess between Terrence and Pooch. Besides, I loved Pooch, and I wasn’t looking back. I just needed my pussy to remember that.

  I jumped at the ringing of my cell phone. “Oh shit!” After I yanked the phone out of my pocket, I took the call. “Hello?” I answered frantically.

  “Everything okay with you?” Terrence asked.

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “You haven’t pulled off yet, so I was just checking.”

  “You don’t have to watch us until we leave. We’re fine,” I replied.

  “Looking out for you and my kids will always be my responsibility,” he said seriously.

  “Well, thank you.”

  “I don’t do it for your thanks.”

  “I know.”

  “Trinity—”

  Suddenly, my line beeped. I noticed it was a call from Pooch. “Hey, Terrence, I gotta go. Pooch is calling me,” I interrupted him.

  “Okay. I’ll holla at you tomorrow.”

  “Peace,” I said before clicking over. “Hey, babe. What’s up?” I said to Pooch as I started my car.

  “What the fuck is taking you so long to pick up the kids?” Pooch asked angrily. “You’ve been gone thirty minutes. He lives only ten minutes away.”

  “Damn, Pooch. The kids weren’t ready, and you know how Terry is about his daddy,” I explained in an irritated voice. “I’m leaving now.”

  “Fine. Pick up some Popeyes on the way home. Get me the usual.”

  “A’ight. You know I gotta stop at Mickey D’s for the kids.”

  “Yeah. Hurry up, though. Princess is whining, and you know I can’t tolerate that shit for long. Besides, I gotta eat. I got some business to handle tonight.”

  “I thought you said you were spending time with me tonight,” I whined.

  “Something came up with my dude Tot,” he explained. Tot was one of Pooch’s connects. Tot was nowhere near his real name. It was a name Pooch had given him in case there were ever wiretaps. I figured Tot was in town to help Pooch re-up.

  “A’ight. I’m disappointed, though.”

  “I’ll make it good for you, babe. You know I always do,” he said. “But hurry up and get here with the food.”

  “A’ight. I love you, Pooch.”

  “Love you too, babe. Remember that shit,” he said before he hung up.

  Lucinda

  My drive home from my visit to Piedmont Tech was a somber one. My meeting had gone well, and I loved everything Piedmont Tech had to offer. The counselor had been nice, and the tour had been more than I could’ve expected. The only problem standing in my way was my schedule. I had been all set to fill out all the paperwork when the counselor had sat the course book in front of me.

  “So you’d have to take English, math, and a science to start. All those classes are scheduled between eight a.m. and three p.m. on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays,” she’d said.

  My heart had dropped. “Are those all the class times that are available?”

  “Yes, I’m afraid so.”

  “I can’t take night classes or late afternoon classes?” I asked, hoping on the off chance that she’d overlooked part of the schedule.

  “No, sweetie. These are daytime classes only,” she informed me. “Is there some kind of conflict?”

  “It’s just that I work from nine to one.”

  “I see. Does your company offer more than one shift?”

  “Yes, they do.”

  “Well, perhaps you can get your work schedule changed to accommodate your school schedule. Why don’t you speak with your supervisor at work first and then let me know?”

  I couldn’t help but feel disappointed that I wasn’t able to enroll at that moment. “Okay.”

  Noticing my expression, she patted my hand sympathetically. “Lucinda, it’s not the end of the world. You will be at Piedmont. Just you wait and see.”

  Even though I put my best face on in front of the counselor, I was still disappointed, since I had thought I’d be walking out of that office as a college student. On my way home, I had to pick up Nadia, who was with my mom, so I called ahead and explained the college situation to my mom. She encouraged me but couldn’t offer a solution. However, she did resolve one issue for me; my mom made sure Nadia was good and full before I got there, so I didn’t have to worry about feeding her. That was a blessing since I had only thirty-five dollars in my bank account, and I still needed gas, milk, bread, and some juice for Nadia until I got paid on Friday. That was two days away, which was a hell of a long time to wait when you were living paycheck to paycheck.

  “We have to stop by the store first before we go home, okay?” I explained to Nadia once I got her settled in
the backseat.

  “Okay, mami. Can I have some Starburst?” she asked happily.

  “I’ll see, okay? No promises.”

  “Okay,” she replied. “Mami? Why didn’t Daddy pick me up like he said?”

  I gazed in the rearview mirror questioningly. I knew I had heard her right, but I was puzzled that she had asked this, so I didn’t have a quick response.

  And so she continued, “You told me Daddy was going to pick me up. Why didn’t he?”

  “I think he had to work,” I answered, trying to mask my anger.

  I hated to lie to Nadia, and that fucking Raul always put me in that position. Sometimes I wanted to tell her the truth and come right out and say, “Because your father is a deadbeat, and he can’t take care of himself, let alone you.” But I was not going to give Raul the satisfaction of knowing that I was the one who had upset Nadia. That selfish bastard was going to have to ruin his own relationship with his daughter without my help, and it seemed he was well on his way.

  “So is he going to pick me up when he gets off work?” Nadia asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  “I don’t think so,” I replied as I pulled into the grocery store parking lot.

  “But why?”

  “Because he already missed his time frame.”

  “But why?”

  “Because I think he had to work. Remember I told you that.”

  “But why’d he have to work if he was supposed to pick me up?”

  Damn, she was worse than the police. “You know what, little missy? You ask too many questions.”

  “You said there’s no such thing as a stupid question, mami.”

  “I didn’t say it was stupid. I said you ask too many questions,” I replied as I got her out of the car.

  “You also said I could ask you whatever I wanted. Now you say it’s too many. So is it too many because I’m asking stupid questions, or too many because . . . why, mami?”