Never Again, No More

by Untamed

  Suspicious, I asked, “What kind of surprise?”

  He inhaled deeply. “Remember the letter I sent to you?”

  “Yes,” I replied, putting the plate down and drumming my fingers. I wanted him to get to the point.

  “Well, I, um . . . I called a meeting with my coaches and teammates, and I explained to them about you and the kids. I wanted them to hear things from me first, and not the lopsided version from the media. They all support me and are happy that I am becoming a better man and father. They want to meet you and the kids, and I kinda told them that I would bring you all down there to introduce you,” he confessed.

  Hold up. Wait a minute. The kids’ feet were just getting wet with establishing a relationship with Ryan. Hell, this was uncharted water for all of us. To me, it wasn’t the best time to go about adding the layers of Ryan’s life to the mix. There was a certain preparedness that should come with that, and neither the kids nor I was ready for it.

  I shook my head and waved my hands no. “I’m not sure about this, Ryan. The kids are just getting used to you being in their lives. I’m not positive I want them exposed to your celebrity lifestyle all in one swoop.”

  He grabbed my hands and sat me down on one of the barstools that surrounded the island. He then asked the chef to give us a moment alone. “Charice, I realize it seems like a lot at one time, but this is something that should’ve been done a long time ago. I know you have your reservations about my lifestyle, but it’s who I am. I will shelter my kids from anything that I think will hurt them, but the fact still remains that I am not only Ryan Westmore, their father, but also Ryan Westmore, the pro NFL player. Besides, when you show up at the game, it’s going to be a media frenzy. There are highs and lows to having me as their dad. I really want to take you all to visit the stadium and introduce you to my teammates, especially Lincoln. He’s been my backbone, my brother, and my friend throughout my career, and I want you guys to meet him. I can bet that a reporter has snapped a picture of us somewhere anyway, so you may as well be prepared for that.”

  I pondered this for a moment and realized that he was right. I couldn’t hide the fact that the triplets’ father was famous, and the kids were bound to be exposed to that lifestyle now that Ryan had stepped up. Besides, we were just meeting the team and the coaches. He did make a good point about the media firestorm that was sure to ensue when we went to his game. So, I agreed.

  “You’re right. We can’t hide this forever,” I said.

  He stood up from the barstool and hugged me. “Thank you so much. This means a lot to me. The team is like my second family, and I think it’s high time that my extended family meets my immediate family.”

  I was proud of him. He’d come a long way, and it felt good to see him finally grow up. “You’re welcome.”

  After eating, showering, and dressing, we headed over to Cowboys Stadium. During the ride, Ryan explained that he’d set up a casual meet and greet for us with his coaches and teammates. I was a little nervous about the get-together and could tell Ryan was nervous as well. Meeting his teammates made it real for him. Football was his life, and he’d longed for that life since he was a boy. The personal life he’d kept under wraps for five years was about to collide with his professional life. He would go from being a new football playboy to a father of triplets.

  The closer we got to the Cowboys Stadium, the more intense his nervousness became. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” I said, giving him an opportunity to renege.

  He shook his head. “It’s time to do this, even though I’m going to look like an idiot in more ways than one.”

  “Why is that?”

  “They know that we are not together, and now I have to bring you in here looking all kinds of fine. You are killing those jeans and thigh-high stiletto boots. On the real, you looking mighty damn hot.”

  I blushed as we pulled into the office parking lot.

  After we got out of the car and entered the stadium, Ryan led us into a room where his teammates had assembled.

  “Westmore!” they yelled as Ryan and I stood at the front of the room, the kids on both sides of us.

  “Hello, everyone,” Ryan replied as his teammates took their seats.

  After everyone was seated, Ryan turned to face me and bowed his head. I grabbed his hand for encouragement and urged him to continue. Then he held his head up, turned around, and addressed his team.

  “A couple of weeks ago, I called a meeting to tell you all about my kids. I want to thank all of you—each and every one of you—for your support. You guys are my fam, my home away from home, and I just wanted to be straight up with you all. None of you have judged me after my announcement, and that has meant the world to me,” Ryan said. The vibrato in his voice hinted at the emotion that was welling up inside him.

  Lincoln and the head coach walked over and patted his shoulders for encouragement as the entire room clapped for him. After the whole Iris incident, I might have had little empathy for Ryan at this moment, but given Ryan’s new leaf, I understood. There was no telling what emotions he was dealing with after the lies he had told and the façade he had kept up for all those years. Pain, embarrassment, and probably joy filled him now, and as he raised his hand to his face, the tears slid down his cheeks as the reality of the situation hit him.

  “Ryan, we’re behind you. You’re a good kid, and I’ll stand on my mother’s grave and admit that to anyone who asks. You made a mistake. All of us in this room have, and some of us continue to, but that’s okay. We’re a team and a family, and we stand by one another,” the head coach said to uplift Ryan.

  Ryan hugged him and shook his head as his teammates and the other coaches clapped in agreement. “I really appreciate that, Coach, but honestly, I wasn’t good about this, far from it. But I appreciate the love and support,” he said. Then he pulled me forward. “With that said, I promised that you all would meet my kids and their mother, and they are here with me today. This young lady here is Charice Taylor. She’s a good woman and has loved me ever since I was a kid playing varsity ball at fifteen. She’ll never know how truly sorry I am, but I will make amends for some things, even if I can’t for everything,” Ryan said, looking at me sorrowfully.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. I couldn’t believe he had said that about me in front of his teammates.

  He went on. “And my three beautiful kids are Charity, Ray, and Ryan Jr. These are my kids, whom I had my freshman year in college.”

  One of his teammates cheered, and then slowly, everyone joined in. Ryan smiled as he picked up Charity, tossed her in the air, and caught her.

  “Way to man up, baby bro! We’re proud of you, Ryan,” Lincoln said between the thunderous applause and cheering.

  “Hey, I learned from the best,” Ryan told Lincoln.

  Everyone took their turn meeting me and the triplets. They made sure we felt welcomed, and of course, my sons loved every ounce of the attention they received. To them, it was like they had backstage passes at a concert. They were so young, they didn’t understand that they would now be the center of attention, probably a lot more than they hoped to be. I prayed Ryan could keep his word and shield them from the ugly side of this life. Lord knows, I would.

  After we were introduced to most of Ryan’s team members and the coaching staff, we finally made our way over to Lincoln.

  “Fam!” Lincoln yelled as he put his arm around Ryan’s neck and faced me and the kids.

  “My man!” Ryan greeted. “Let me personally introduce you to Charice,” he said as I shook Lincoln’s hand. “She’s a fan.”

  Lincoln cocked his eyebrow to one side. “Oh really? Well, I’m honored. I’m pleased to meet you, Charice,” Lincoln said happily.

  “Likewise,” I replied, smiling at him.

  “I’m proud of him. Finally, some of my yappings are paying off,” Lincoln joked, giving Ryan a playful nudge.

  “I’m a knucklehead. What can I say?” Ryan shrugged.


  “We all are at one point in our lives, but it’s about redemption and moving forward. You have done good, son,” Lincoln replied, patting him on the chest.

  Ryan shrugged and shook his head. “I’m trying.”

  “And that’s what matters most,” I added, and they both agreed.

  “Speaking of moving forward, what about your relationship?” Lincoln asked. “Y’all gonna work that out?” He motioned back and forth between Ryan and me.

  Ryan shook his head. “No, my bed has been made on that subject, and I’m lying in it,” he replied, then turned and faced me. “Even though not a day goes by that I don’t regret it,” he added, and I looked away. “My focus is to be a father to my kids. It’s time to man up, and that’s my primary concern.”

  “That’s both of our primary concern, Lincoln. I just want him to build a good relationship with the kids,” I said, facing Ryan. “That is what’s most important.”

  More of Ryan’s teammates walked up just then, and rather than impose, I made my way around the room, making small talk. Everyone had been extremely hospitable and cordial. I wasn’t sure what I had expected, but I didn’t think this meet and greet would be this warm and inviting. That in itself made me feel good about agreeing to allow the kids to have this soft introduction to Ryan’s life.

  While Ryan and the kids played and he chopped it up with some of the other teammates, I walked out of the room to find a vending machine and get a bottle of water. I searched a little but didn’t find a snack room.

  “What are you looking for?” a man’s voice said behind me.

  I turned and saw that it was Lincoln who had addressed me. “The vending machine. I’d love some water,” I told him.

  “It’s down this way,” he said pointing in the other direction.

  Lawd. The entire time I’d been in the meeting room, I’d tried to hide my wandering eyes. Lincoln Harper was fine on television and even finer in person. He was a sight to be seen, and it was hard not to be captivated by his aura.

  “Oh, thanks,” I said. “I couldn’t remember where I saw it.”

  “I’m going to get one too,” he said, walking beside me. “I think what you did, despite Ryan’s actions, was truly admirable. It takes a hell of a woman to do that.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  He gently touched my elbow, which caused us both to pause. “I know. I don’t know if Ryan told you about me, but three years ago, I was just like Ryan. My daughter is nine, and her mom refuses to let her see me. I send the child support, but I miss my daughter. I knew Ryan had kids. I could sense it. I kept talking to him about manning up, because I didn’t want to see another man act like I used to, especially a black man. We have to stand up and be accountable,” he explained.

  His renewed outlook on life and fatherhood touched me. I loved the fact that not only did he make the decision to stand up, but he forced others around him to step up to the plate as well.

  “That’s commendable. I’m sorry about your daughter. I think it’s sad that her mother is using your daughter as a pawn. Regardless of what happened between Ryan and me, it’s his choice to remain a good father. I’d never take that right from him. I just want what’s best for our children.”

  “That should always be the main focus. He doesn’t realize how good he has it.” Lincoln shook his head. By now we had reached the vending machine, and he bought two bottles of water.

  “Oh, he doesn’t have anything good in me, but he’s got a true blessing in our children.” I laughed as he handed me my bottled water.

  “Oh, he’s got a good baby mama in you, even if it’s not a good woman.” He laughed. “I can tell he truly fucked up on the latter, though. You’re a down-ass chick.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I am . . . or I was.”

  “You still are.” He smiled.

  Suddenly, our eyes connected, and I couldn’t help but blush. Did I just feel a tingle in my twat? Yep, I did, I thought to myself. Lincoln’s honey-kissed skin had a beautiful glow to it. It was probably from the many hours he’d spent on the practice field. It didn’t help that the practice jersey he wore clung to his hardened chest. His beautiful eyes, set off by long lashes, gave him a boyish look. Yet his chiseled jawline and defined neck muscles were undeniably manly features. When he smiled, his pearly whites were gorgeous but not as gorgeous as his masculine and muscular thighs. He was the embodiment of sheer and utter perfection. Our gaze was broken when Lincoln spoke.

  “I better head back. We’re supposed to begin workouts in a little while,” he said nervously. He turned to walk back to the room where the team was gathered.

  Surprisingly, I did something that I never thought I’d do and, more importantly, that I never planned to do. “So do you think we can go out to dinner or something? Or are you scared of a down-ass chick like me?” I asked, then laughed nervously.

  What the hell? Did I really just come out and say that? I asked myself. Yep, my crazy ass did just say that. I could not believe it. I had no idea where that had come from. The last time my emotions took over my mouth like that was when I made the first move on Ryan at the lunch table my sophomore year. I’d admit, I was attracted to him, but I couldn’t believe I was bold enough to say that to Lincoln Harper, Ryan’s best friend.

  He smiled and shook his head no, seemingly against his will. “I see you, Ma.” He laughed. “But you know that’s too dangerous.”

  I shrugged. “Then I guess you’re gonna miss out too,” I said to play it down as I breezed past him. I walked back to the room, trying to play it cool, but on the inside, I was a nervous wreck.

  Of all the people in the world, I had to be attracted to Lincoln Harper! I swear I was going certifiably insane. I prayed to God that Lincoln didn’t tell Ryan what had happened.

  But on the flip side, it may have been bad, and it sure as hell was wrong, but it had felt so damn good. For the first time, I was attracted to another man, Lincoln Harper. When I looked over my shoulder, I saw him looking at my ass. That let me know that he was attracted to me as well. Even with the twinge of guilt that I felt, I wondered, Would Lincoln and I ever get an opportunity? Probably not.

  LaMeka

  Lately, life had been hard. It felt as if I walked around on eggshells to prevent anything that would set off Tony. It was to the point that I didn’t ask Tony for shit, in an attempt to avoid a repeat of that fateful night. So to keep the peace around the house, I did what I had to do. I took Tony Jr. and Misha to school every day and drove Misha to work. Then I’d come home, clean up, and cook to keep my mind off Tony. Whenever I didn’t have anything to do, I’d take LaMichael and go over to Trinity’s to pass the time away. I did anything to avoid being around Tony.

  To avoid arguments, I found myself catering to his needs as if he were a child. Literally, anything he asked, I did. If he needed a beer, I would go to the kitchen to grab a cold one and be back in a nanosecond. I cooked whatever he wanted, let him watch as much television as he wanted, left him alone when he wanted, and even fucked him when he wanted. Now that I’d mastered the art of sucking dick, Tony wanted to get his rocks off every morning and night, and I did it, sore jaw and all. I gave him everything and required nothing of him. He seemed happy that I’d turned into this doting housewife, and he eased up with the attitude.

  Still, I kept my guard up and continued my routine. There was no need to rock the boat, because shit seemed kosher on the outside. The fact of the matter was that I felt used, unwanted, underappreciated, and overworked. It hurt to know that the man I’d loved all these years had become someone unrecognizable. I’d devoted what seemed to be a lifetime to him, and this was what I got in return? I knew I should’ve kicked him out or left myself, but deep down, I felt there was still the “old” Tony in there somewhere, if only we could find him.

  For a month, everything was cool. The time I spent at Trinity’s gave me something to do and someone to talk to. While LaMichael and Princess played, that gave me a break. I was sure it gave Trinity a brea
k as well, since I knew damn well Pooch didn’t take care of the kids, not even his own.

  As usual, I headed over to Trinity’s today, but this time it was different. LaMichael and I wound up right back at the house because Trinity wasn’t at home as usual. As I walked into the house, I heard Tony in the bedroom. My stomach did a somersault at the thought of his presence. I quickly dismissed that when I heard what sounded like other voices in the house. As the music blared, I could hear giggles and laughter coming from the bedroom. I didn’t know what in the hell was going on, but I was going to find out. Quickly, I took LaMichael to Jena, my next-door neighbor, and then I walked back into my house and headed to my bedroom. When I walked in the room, I heard Tony before I could focus on the view in front of me.

  “This shit is fiya, baby!” he hollered while some half-naked bitch lay on my bed. Before he noticed me, this muthafucka had the nerve to snort up a line of coke with a rolled-up dollar bill!

  “I told you, baby, that’s that good-good,” the bitch said and laughed.

  “Tony!” I yelled.

  He jumped up off the bed and turned to face me with coke under his nose, and the naked bitch jumped out of the bed too.

  “I thought you said she was going to be gone for a while, babe,” the bitch said, confused, with her hands on her hips. She had the nerve to have an attitude, as if she were paying the bills up in this bitch. The nerve of this ho.

  Rage built up in my chest as I took in the scene. Not only was the bitch half naked, but he also had his shirt off and his pants unzipped. I knew this bastard hadn’t fucked this bitch in our bed and snorted cocaine with her ass.

  “What the fuck is you doing home? You supposed to be at Trinity’s house!” he yelled.

  “And you supposed to be my man!” I yelled back. “Who the fuck is this bitch?” I screamed, pointing at the girl.

  “Bitch? I got your bitch!” she hollered. She attempted to come at me, but Tony pushed her back down on the bed.