Can't Be Love

by Julie Trettel

  “No, ma’am, he didn’t,” Austin said, all his attention suddenly turned my way. I felt Thomas take a step closer to me.

  “That jackass right there is Austin. This guy up here,” Thomas said, pointing to the first one I had seen, “that’s Wyatt. And this is Clay, Emmett, and James.” I tried to keep track of who was who.

  “Hi,” I said. “I’m Lily.”

  “Miss Lily Westin. We’d know that beautiful face anywhere,” Clay said, and Thomas growled aggressively at him, taking a step towards him.

  “Jesus, Thomas. What the hell’s wrong you?” Emmett asked.

  “Poor Clay’s gonna shit himself, you do that again,” James added.

  “Something tells me this girl is completely off-limits, boys,” Wyatt laughed, warning them. “Lily, it’s nice to meet you,” he said, jumping down from his perch. “Any girl manages to get this dick that worked up is fine in my book. How long are you in town for?”

  “End of the week, at least,” I said. I chanced a look at Thomas just in time to see him wince. Good, I thought. I liked the idea of him being affected by that thought. The way things had progressed in the last twenty-four hours, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to leave at all, but I wasn’t ready to admit that either.

  “I’m sure my mate, Kate, would love to have you over for dinner before you leave, if you have the time.”

  I looked at Thomas and shrugged, seeking his approval. He nodded, and while the others had gone about their business and gotten back to work, I knew Wyatt was observing everything.

  “Yeah, okay. That sounds great,” I finally told him, and I meant it.

  Ruby came back through from wherever she had been headed and stopped to talk some more.

  “You’ll like Kate, Lily. Sweet girl. Wyatt’s the only of the Six Pack to take a mate, so far,” she added. “I know Kate will be thrilled for a little female company.”

  “Why do you call them the Six Pack?” I asked curiously.

  Ruby laughed. “Those six have been running together since they were just small pups. Practically inseparable. They didn’t earn their name till they hit high school, though. They all bulked up, working out obsessively for football. They were practically unstoppable. When they rightfully developed six-pack abs and spent an entire summer showing them off, they acquired the name and it’s never gone away. They are legendary across the Packs. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of them.”

  I snorted. “If it started with ‘Thomas Collier . . .,’ I promise you I tuned it out and didn’t want to hear about it.”

  “Ouch,” Wyatt said. “Don’t you be going and breaking my boy’s heart, now. I kind of got the vibe there might be something between the two of you.”

  I looked at him in all seriousness. “If you had said that a week ago, I’d have given you a good tongue lashing and probably kneed you in the ҆nads. Old habits die hard.”

  Wyatt chuckled. “Looks like you got your hands full with this one, Collier.”

  Thomas smiled that full, irresistible, slightly crooked smile. “I’ll manage.”

  “He ain’t denying it neither,” Wyatt said, winking at me and walking away.

  “Ruby?” I asked.

  “Yeah?”

  “Is Collier Pack as big a bunch of gossips as Westin?”

  “Probably even worse,” she admitted.

  “There’s really little point in trying to hide this, is there?”

  “You mean, you mating my brother?”

  I looked at her guiltily. “Yup.”

  “Half the town’s already abuzz about it, girl. Most are a little shocked. Torn because of . . .” She caught herself and stopped.

  “Because of Sydney,” I added.

  “You know about her?”

  “Well, yeah, she’s kind of my only friend in town,” I confessed.

  Ruby put her arm around me. “That’s not true. Lizzy, Clara, Peyton, Shelby, and I are all here. I think you’ll really like Kate, and many others as you meet people. If you decide to go through with it and bond with Thomas, this will be your home. Your Pack.”

  “I’m okay with that, Ruby. I’ve always loved it here in Collier. It’s just . . .” I didn’t quite know how to verbalize it.

  “My brother is the biggest douchebag on the planet and the last person in this world you ever expected to mate.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “I know you channeled all your emotions about Maddie’s disappearance onto him. He wasn’t around to defend that line of thinking, and you never wanted to hear otherwise. I can’t imagine the war waging inside of you right now. At some point you’re going to have to talk to him about it.”

  I gave her a half smile. “We talked a lot about it all, everything really, earlier today. I’m just trying my best to process it. It’s a lot to take in.”

  “It was easier to hate him than to love him, huh?”

  “Love?” I snorted. “I don’t love him. I can’t. No way, that’s Thomas!” I protested.

  She gave me a knowing look as Thomas rode up on a large white stallion. “Lil, want to go for a ride?” he yelled as he approached.

  “This can’t be love,” I whispered harshly under my breath as Ruby laughed in my ear. “Damn, that might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” I confessed as he approached on horseback. “When the hell did that happen? Lust? Maybe, but definitely not love,” I told her before he was within earshot.

  He rode up on that white stallion with a double saddle already in place. He leaned down and grabbed my arm and swung me up in one smooth motion, like something you’d see in a movie. I settled into the seat behind him and gave a quick wave to Ruby as he took off at a trot.

  It had been a long time since I’d been on a horse. I was grateful not to be the one in control. My arms instinctively wrapped around his waist as I held on tightly. Wyatt was waiting at the pasture gate, opening it so we could pass through, and closing it behind us. I looked back at him over my shoulder as he tipped his hat to me with a grin.

  As soon as we were inside the pasture and in open fields, Thomas kicked and the horse took off at a full sprint. I held on even tighter and felt the rumble of pleasure go through him. I realized then that I was becoming more and more in tune with his emotions all day. It was a sign that the bond was strengthening between us. I stiffened for a moment and let the thought sink in, taking a quick assessment of everything I had learned and observed about him.

  Thomas may not have been my first pick as a mate, but he also wasn’t the douchebag I had portrayed him as. He was a good man, and it was easy to see he’d be a great Alpha when his time came. I definitely still had some unresolved personal feelings I was sorting through, but the thought of taking him as a mate and spending my life with this man, no longer revulsed me.

  My mate, I thought, hugging him instead of just holding on for dear life. I took a deep breath, accepting his scent for the first time without any idea how that small gesture would affect me physically. I moaned in pleasure. It was the most delicious, intoxicating scent I’d ever smelled.

  Thomas stopped short and the horse responded in kind, rearing back on his hind legs and neighing loudly. I squeezed Thomas tighter, saying a quick prayer we wouldn’t both go flying off. He quickly regained control of the horse.

  “I’m sorry,” he said in a deep voice.

  One second I was sitting behind him, my eyes shut tightly. The next, he had reached around and pulled me off. I yelped as I went flying through the air, though he remained completely in control. When I opened my eyes I was sitting in the front seat facing him. He was staring at me like he couldn’t believe his eyes. He gently touched my face and took a deep breath.

  “What changed?” he asked.

  “Wh—?”

  Before I could finish saying the word, his mouth crashed down on mine. I didn’t hesitate or stiffen this time. I kissed him back with a desperate urgency, opening fully to him as his tongue swept in and battled with mine. I moaned into him, his arms wrapping tightly
around me.

  We were six feet off the ground on a horse who had just been spooked. I should have been panicking, but I was lost in my mate’s kisses without a care in the world.

  He slowed and backed off, giving me a moment to catch my breath. He peppered light kisses across my cheek, nipping at the lobe of my ear. He growled, “Mine.”

  My entire body shook in recognition. “Yours,” I returned, finding his mouth again and kissing him with a desire that overwhelmed all my senses.

  Our lips never broke apart as he dismounted, bringing me with him. He paused only a moment to remove a blanket from the saddle bag and spread it across the ground.

  I giggled. “You came prepared, I see.”

  He grinned, and my heart flipped over in my chest. “For a picnic lunch, or so I thought.”

  I quickly removed my shirt and discarded it on the ground before reaching for his. There was a great sense of urgency. I needed him. All of him. He made short work of his boots, his pants, and my pants. Soon we stood naked in the middle of nature taking a moment to admire each other. He went to remove his hat, but I stopped him.

  “You can keep the hat,” I said with a smirk.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he replied, before his lips found mine again.

  As we resumed our kisses, my hands explored the hard planes of his chest, the bulging ridges of his arms, and the tight muscles of his stomach that had clearly earned him his place in the Six Pack.

  His hands cupped my breasts and his calloused thumbs skimmed my nipples, the contrasting textures causing more pleasure than I could ever have imagined.

  “Please tell me you’re on the pill, because despite what you think, I did not come prepared for this,” he said between kisses.

  I grinned against him. “I am, but at this moment I wouldn’t give a shit anyway.”

  He laughed and it became a playful bantering of further exploration that had me panting and ready when he finally took me. I flinched at the sting of his intrusion, and he slowed, giving my body time to adjust and accept him. Taking his time, he led us to a steady rhythm that soon had my head soaring in some unknown plane of existence before crashing back to reality. We were both sweaty, my chest heaving as I tried to regain consciousness.

  “That was amazing,” I said in wonder as we lay there, still joined as one.

  I groaned in protest when he rolled off me, a huge grin on his face. He kissed me softly this time, lovingly.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I took a quick personal assessment. “More than okay,” I assured him, pulling him down for another kiss. I could quickly become addicted to his kisses.

  He rolled to his back, removing his hat, and pulled me with him, tucking me close to his side. He kissed the top of my head and sighed contentedly. We lay there talking for a while just getting to know each other, our likes, our dislikes, all those little details of life. I had never felt so perfectly content and happy in all my life. Complete, my wolf’s voice said. Mate.

  I sat up and looked around. We were in the middle of a field. The mountains were off in the distance, but otherwise I couldn’t see anything or anyone in any direction.

  “Um, Thomas?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I think the horse took off with our lunch.”

  He laughed, opened his eyes, and looked around. “Yeah, looks like it. He’ll find his way back when he gets hungry.”

  “How about us? What are we going to do?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “Want to shift and go for a run? That’s the fastest way home.”

  I loved the idea of running with him. I nodded. “That sounds perfect, actually.”

  Thomas folded the blanket while I gathered our clothes. He placed them in the center of the blanket and closed it up like a hobo sack.

  “Brilliant,” I said, and he beamed at my praise. I loved knowing that pleased him.

  He shifted first and a very large, gray wolf stood before me.

  “Magnificent,” I praised again, and could feel his emotions swell even in wolf form.

  He walked to me and sniffed me all over as I laughed and pushed him away. He nodded his head, encouraging me to shift. I let the warm sensation flow over me as my body transitioned into my wolf. She yipped and pranced before our mate. I licked him, then turned and took off at a full sprint. I knew I was fast, but despite the time he took to pick up our things in his massive jaws, he caught up to me easily. We ran the entire way back to the truck, clearly both of us needing to work off a little more energy.

  With that thought, my wolf filled my head with images of Thomas naked above me. I rolled my eyes, not needing any reminder or further encouragement. If I let myself think about it too much I might freak out. I mean, it was Thomas, after all, but if I just let myself feel instead, all was good. Great, even.

  Thomas

  Chapter 16

  I couldn’t believe the sudden change in my relationship with Lily. I felt like things would work out now and we’d be okay. She was amazing, sweet, funny, and really smart, not just smart-mouthed, though she was that, too. The more I really got to know her, the more I liked her.

  I knew I hadn’t been myself since I lost it back in San Marco. That experience of losing control and having to fight to gain even the smallest bit of control over my wolf had humbled me. Austin had teased me earlier that I was whipped already. Emmett said she might as well put a collar on me. I should have had some witty comment to shoot back at the both of them, but I hadn’t.

  I knew I could be an asshole. Sometimes it was just because I wanted to be, and other times it was a defense mechanism to keep people from getting too close. Since I’d accepted Lily, my wolf had calmed drastically, and so had I. It was kind of freaking me out, and it had shocked the hell out of the guys. I was trying not to think too much about it.

  As we got back to the truck, I was glad to see the guys were gone. My wolf was feeling very protective of our mate, and I didn’t think he would have tolerated another male in her presence so soon after making love to her.

  I dropped the bag I’d been carrying in my mouth next to the truck and shifted back to my human form. She followed my lead, and I wrapped my arms around her, shielding her from view, just in case I’d been mistaken and someone was around. A quick sniff of the air and another look around made me confident I hadn’t.

  Still, I encouraged her to change quickly, trying to get her to understand the irrational feelings I was having. She laughed at me, but humored me by dressing.

  I needed to get her home. Now that I’d had her, it wasn’t enough. I didn’t think it would ever be enough. The thought made me grin. Before she had a chance to question my expression, my phone rang.

  “Hey, Mom,” I answered, seeing her face on my screen.

  “Thomas, I’m glad I caught you. Your father needs to speak with you, and I wanted to see if you and Lily could come to the house for dinner tonight.”

  “How soon is dinner? The horse ran away with our lunch and we’re starving,” I laughed, as Lily’s cheek turned pink and she playfully smacked me and scolded me to behave and be quiet.

  “We’ll eat early then. Say five?”

  “Five?” I asked Lily. She looked at the clock and groaned. It was still two hours away, but she conceded.

  “Yeah, that’s fine, Mom. We’ll see you then.”

  I hung up the phone and looked over at Lily. She was staring out the window, but smiling, and she felt relaxed. I reached for her hand and linked our fingers together, giving it a squeeze. She turned to look at me, and I suddenly knew there was nothing I wouldn’t do to keep that smile on her beautiful face.

  “You sure you’re okay with spending time with my family tonight? I can call back and beg off if you just want to be alone.”

  “No, it’s fine. I love your family. I don’t mind spending time over there, and Patrick, Maddie, Liam, and the kids will only be here a few more days.”

  I pulled to the side of the road and stopped the car to stare at her. I
couldn’t let my hopes jump ahead of me in case I was misunderstanding what she was saying.

  “Lil, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  She watched with combined confusion and mischief. “What?” she tried to ask innocently, but I wasn’t buying it.

  “Don’t play games with me, I’m being serious here,” I said, my tone coming across a little harsher than I meant it to.

  She straightened her back, sitting up taller. I noticed she did that when she was being stubborn or defiant.

  “I am not playing games, Thomas. I’m simply stating a fact. They’ll only be here a few more days and I’d like to spend some time with them.”

  “But you? Will you only be here a few more days?” That was the question I desperately needed the answer to. “You said a one week trial. Even with all that’s happened I didn’t want to ask until the end of the week, but I need to know. Are you staying here? With me?”

  I tampered down the Alpha demand in my voice that often made me sound like an asshole. I let myself be vulnerable to her because I needed her to tame her own stubborn side and answer me honestly.

  Lily lifted her hand and framed my cheek. I leaned into it and her thumb lightly caressed my cheek. “You, Thomas Collier, are the last person on Earth I ever wanted to see, let alone spend my life with.” Just like that it felt like a truck ran over my heart, backed up, and hit it again. “But, you are my one true mate. I don’t understand it, and if I let myself think about it too much, it sort of freaks me out. I’ve waited my entire life to find you. I’ve dreamed of you for as long as I can remember, and sure, it wasn’t everything I thought it would be, and I didn’t handle anything right at first, but I figure I have the rest of our lives to make that up to you, and besides, you really are cocky, and arrogant, and sometimes an ass. You need me to get that ego in check and . . .”

  I cut her off mid-sentence with a kiss, careful not to let it escalate too much or else we wouldn’t make it home in time to shower and change before dinner. Suddenly, I very much wanted to be home and naked in the shower with my gorgeous mate.