Still Falling (Home In You #0)

by Crystal Walton

Her heart caved at seeing how growing up here had conditioned him to think stealing was the only option. That there was no way to escape the influence of gang life.

  “You can’t pay my tuition. I know that’s why you were trying to make it in that bougie orchestra.”

  Bougie? Stuck-up was one way of putting it. She almost laughed.

  “C’mon, Bree. That’s not you.” He craned his head to the ceiling, breathed, and lowered heartbreaking eyes to hers. “I’m not gonna let you do that for me.”

  “Gabe . . .” Something inside her cracked—the choices, the mistakes, both of them trying to protect each other in all the wrong ways. How did they let things get this broken?

  She reached for his arm. “I’m sorry for leaving you here alone these last four years.”

  “You can’t take care of me forever.”

  “That’s what family does.” Even when it meant making sacrifices they might not understand at the time. She swallowed hard.

  She’d do anything for him, but she couldn’t erase consequences. “You can’t hide from gangbangers and the cops. This isn’t just going to go away.”

  ADA Woods called at that exact moment, like he had a bug planted on her or something.

  Bree stared at the screen. Not answering wouldn’t make it go away either. She and Gabe both had to do the right thing. She’d give them the notes Josh had collected and testify to the truth.

  On one condition.

  Gabe knocked the bill of his hat up and scrubbed a hand down his face. “Josh knows, doesn’t he?”

  “Yeah. But he’s not gonna turn you in.” She released a slow breath and clung to the faith she needed right now more than ever. “I am.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Moments

  At home, Josh closed the blinds in Mom’s bedroom, checked her pill containers on the nightstand, and pulled the covers above her shoulders. At least she was home now where she could fully rest. With an on-call nurse checking in, she’d be okay, wouldn’t she?

  The composure he’d hung on to by a thread this last week crumbled under the unbearable weight of admitting she’d be gone soon. Her body had fought the complications left from the bullet she’d taken for as long as it could.

  Not wanting to wake her, he pulled himself together and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. “I’m sorry I let you down,” he whispered before turning to leave.

  She caught his hand and squeezed. Hard.

  “Ow.”

  The slightest grin of satisfaction flittered beneath her closed eyes. “Try apologizing for that again, and you’re gonna get worse.”

  She loosened her grip but held on, tone and touch softening. “The world’s a broken place, sweetheart. There’ll always be darkness to fight.” She dipped her chin at him. “But there’s no quicker way to lose your light than letting yourself be bound by regret.”

  Josh squeezed her hand and let go. “I know I can’t change what happened that night, but I could have at least brought you closure, justice.” Now, how was he going to do either? With this stupid investigation pinning him with false charges, he could lose his badge along with any chance of making detective and reopening Dad’s case. Sarge wanted him to give 100% to his job, but for what? So he could lose it all?

  “Now, you listen to me.” Mom shimmied up against her two pillows. “You’ve spent years taking care of your mama the way your daddy would’ve. You’ve loved Bree the way I’ve raised you to, and you’ve given your heart to your job a hundred times over.” Her eyes glistened. “This neighborhood couldn’t ask for a better protector. Bree couldn’t find a more trustworthy fiancé.”

  Her glare cut him off when he started to correct her. “And your dad and I couldn’t be prouder of the man our son has become. You want a badge and title? You wear those proudly. Because they’re all the closure I need.”

  Pride. Had he really been trying to honor Dad, or had it always been more about proving himself to so many people, Bree included?

  “If you want to call me on selling out my dreams, at least man up and admit you’re doing the same.” Bree’s words shuddered back to him in a wave of his own hypocrisy.

  “You copy that, officer?”

  He smiled. “Ten-four, ma’am.”

  “Good. Now, get outta here so a girl can get her beauty rest.”

  Shaking his head at her, he leaned down to kiss her once more. “Thanks, Ma.”

  Maybe he didn’t have the money and answers he thought he needed. He sure enough didn’t have an ounce of control over time. But he wouldn’t let that stop him from honoring what he did have. Moments. The kind that required the same thing from him that he asked of Bree.

  Josh stepped into the hall at the same time a knock from the front door rumbled up the steps. He hustled downstairs to answer. “Cassidy?” Definitely not who he’d expected.

  The look of unease on her face jolted a pang of concern through him. He scanned the area for any sign of Jesse. “Everything all right?”

  “Can we talk?”

  “Of course.” He joined her on the porch. “What’s going on?”

  She bent her wedged sandal back and forth. “I wanted to apologize for the other night. I’ve been a little . . . on edge lately.” A long breath dragged her shoulders and head down. “There are some things going on with my mom.”

  “I know.”

  Instead of the look of mortification he expected from her finding out he knew her business, a sigh of relief touched her eyes. “On top of that, we just lost my grandpa.”

  “Cass, I’m so sorry.” He steadied a hand on her shoulder. “You know you’re not alone in all this, right?”

  She didn’t agree. Truthfully, he didn’t expect her to. Not after all the ways life had convinced her of the opposite.

  In classic Cassidy-mode, she stood tall and collected, ready to tackle any challenge on her own. Must be why she and Bree made such good friends.

  “I have something I need to take care of, so I’ll be out of town for a while. Do you think you could check in on my mom’s flower shop every now and then? Just make sure she’s good?”

  The corner of his mouth lifted, willing hers to follow in a smile she needed more than she probably realized. “It just so happens I have a feeling I’m gonna need an endless supply of daisies over the next few months.”

  A laugh tumbled out of her tight lips. Mission accomplished.

  But as quickly as it came, her amusement waned behind a creased brow. “Bree had her reasons for letting go.”

  “And I had mine for holding on.” Still did. “Your heart doesn’t always give you much of a choice, does it?”

  “Then why are you giving up?”

  “Who said I was?”

  An Irish slant in her hazel eyes sliced through his attempt at deflecting. “Not everyone’s lucky enough to find someone to grow old with. Even fewer find them as kids. Don’t let pride rob you of what other people only get to dream of.”

  There was that word again. She was right. He wouldn’t let Bree push him away again. Not when what they had was worth fighting for.

  Two steps down the front stairs, he stopped, turned, and cleared them in one stride back to the top. “Thanks, Cass.” He pecked her cheek.

  Returning his smile, she nodded to his truck at the curb. “Get moving.”

  No more prompting needed. He barely got the ignition cranked before shifting it into gear. He’d drive around the whole city if he had to. He wasn’t letting the girl he wanted to grow old with get away this time.

  His cell rang from the cup holder. He answered while pulling out of the scrunched space between two cars, keeping his eyes on the rearview mirror. “D’Angelo. Talk to me.”

  “Officer D’Angelo, it’s ADA Woods.”

  Josh almost threw the transmission out of gear. He scrambled to get the truck—and his voice—back in sync. “Yes?” was all that came out.

  “I’m calling about an open case someone pushed up the chains.”

  A hard swallow s
craped down his tense throat. “I know. But if you’ll just let me expl—”

  “It’s not your case, officer. It’s your dad’s.”

  Josh banged his horn for the fifth time since leaving the District Attorney’s Office. His mind hadn’t stopped whirling from their meeting. All he knew was he had to get to Bree. Now.

  His cell lit up with a number from his precinct as he passed an Oldsmobile winning the slowest driving record ever. He pinned the phone to his ear with his shoulder. “D’Angelo.”

  “Congratulations.” Sarge’s husky voice rang with a note of something Josh couldn’t fully read. Knowing his penchant for sarcasm, it probably wasn’t good.

  He eked out a cautious, “For?”

  “Your promotion.”

  Josh’s foot slipped off the pedal. A couple of hours ago, he was about to have serious allegations charged against him. Now they wanted to up his ranks? “Sorry, are you saying . . . ? I mean, how did . . . ?” If he deserved a promotion, it obviously wasn’t for his speeches.

  “Your lady friend dropped off your notes on the Sanchez Crew case.”

  She what?

  “This is good detective work, D’Angelo. Harrison brought in Gabriel Ramirez about an hour ago, but the collar’s yours. I just submitted my recommendation for first grade detective.”

  His voice caught up two gear shifts later. “I thought you said you needed me where I am.”

  “I do. But you’ve earned this, kid. Job’s yours if you want it.”

  Detective. Was this for real? His chance to . . .

  When a glimpse of Bree’s purple bike leaning against the wrought iron fence caught Josh’s eye through the windshield, everything else faded except the one answer that mattered.

  “You know what, Sarge? I’m actually good right where I am.” He ended the call, vaguely aware he’d catch flak for hanging up on his CO. Perez would have to wait.

  He killed the engine but didn’t move. His mind had been in overdrive with all the things he needed to say the whole way here. Yet it’d only taken one look at Bree standing in the sunlight in front of their favorite childhood spot to turn the alphabet into a foreign language.

  His feet ushered him toward her without conscious direction. Too bad his pulse wasn’t so accommodating.

  “How’d you know I’d be here?”

  His tense stomach muscles finally relaxed. “Because it’s where I would’ve gone.” This section of Roosevelt Island had always been a safe haven for them whenever things were hard to face. But this . . . Was it too much?

  “What you did for me today . . . Having my dad’s case reopened . . . I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. It’s what you would’ve done for me.”

  Was that all this was? His pulse picked up again. “Bree, I want you to know I was never trying to exploit Gabe for my own gain.”

  “I know. I shouldn’t have overreacted without giving you a chance to explain.”

  He kneaded his shoulder. “Yeah, well, I think we’re both pretty good at that.” Two hotheads, reacting first, thinking later. What was new?

  An attempted laugh fell flat at the sight of her torn expression.

  “They’re dropping Gabe’s charges to Robbery in the Third Degree. Turns out he wasn’t even carrying a piece. And if the ADA plays this right, he can con the Crew into thinking Gabe didn’t give them up.” Josh stopped himself from rambling. “He’s going to be okay, Bree.”

  A sad smile told him she’d already heard. “I know.” Instead of lingering on it, she kept her focus on the ivy-covered castle, her thoughts somewhere else. “It always felt safe to dream here, didn’t it?”

  Quick prayers edged him toward her. Please tell me I haven’t ruined this.

  “You were right, you know. About everything.” Glassy eyes peered up from the grass and held his heart in a grip nothing would release. She raised her shoulders. “I am scared. I blamed that fear on my uncle’s death—and, yeah, that was part of it—but it’s more than that.”

  A breeze wisped her curls along the fence she grabbed on to. Whether for stability or distraction, he wasn’t sure.

  “I’ve been afraid to hope for a life that could end up disappointing me. And maybe the truth is, a part of me did jump on the chance to break off our engagement. Just like part of me jumped at running away this time too.”

  His heart sprinted in search of a way to silence all her fears and convince her their life together was one leap of faith she didn’t have to take alone. “Bree—”

  “No, let me finish. Please.” A blink lasting far too long lifted her eyes back to his. “You were right about me, but we were both wrong about life. It’s not about the past or the future. It’s about risking it all right now for the people you love.”

  Josh stood there, taking in every part of her—each gorgeous, stubborn freckle, amber eyes capable of leaving him undone every moment he was with her, the conviction in her words, in her stance. It all rooted into his chest and stole his voice.

  She curved her hair over one shoulder. “I’ve messed up so many times, in so many ways. I know I don’t deserve another chance, and I wish more than anything I had the right words to prove you can trust me this time.”

  Eyes closed, she breathed in. “But all I have to give you is the messy, vulnerable heart of a girl who fell in love on a school bus with an impossibly charming, ridiculously patient boy she’s ready to build a home with every day of her life . . . if he’ll still have her.”

  One heartbeat. Another. He released her curls from behind her ear and let the beautiful freedom sweeping through him flow through her hair. Leaving his hand on the back of her neck, he pressed in till their lips barely touched. “Only if I get to ask you a question first.”

  Before she could respond, he kissed her with the tender passion fusing all the broken pieces in his life back together.

  She gripped his collar when he found the strength to pull away. “If that was the question, the answer’s definitely yes.”

  He laughed. “That was the precursor.”

  Standing in the same spot where he’d proposed the first time, Josh clung to the ring and the hope he’d held on to for the last four years and offered them both to the girl he’d keep holding every year that followed.

  One moment of faith at a time.

  ***

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  ***

  The story continues in

  Write Me Home

  Home In You Series, Book One.

  Grab the next in the series!

  ***

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  Behind The Scenes

  Writing can be a lonely journey, which is why hearing from you is such a blessing. Shoot me a message any time. I’d also greatly appreciate your support in leaving a review on Amazon and Goodreads. Even just one sentence allows me to keep writing more stories. I can’t do it without you!

  Thanks so much for reading Still Falling. Tap here for a special behind-the-scenes note about this book.

  Are you ready to read Cassidy’s own story? Download Write Me Home and take a nostalgic trip to a summer camp in the Catskill Mountains with a set of memorable characters, including one smoking fireman.

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  Books By Crystal Walton

  Home In You Series

  Still Falling: A Prequel

  Write Me Home: Book One

  Begin Again: Book Two

  Just Maybe: Book Three

  Standalones
<
br />   Arms of Promise

  The Unveiled Series

  Eyes Unveiled: Book One

  Light Unshaken: Book Two

  Hope Unbroken: Book Three

  About The Author

  Crystal received her bachelor of arts from Messiah College in PA, married her exact opposite in upstate NY, and earned her master of arts from Regent University in VA, where she currently resides with her husband, David. Crystal writes contemporary clean romances fueled by Starbucks’ green teas. She’d love to connect with you at crystal-walton.com and Facebook.

  Acknowledgements

  Dave, remember that love-struck twenty-year-old girl who hopped on a bus by herself to visit you in NYC for a weekend? She’s gained a few years since then. But after all this time, she’s still falling for you. Here’s to many more bike rides, pictures added to our walls, and goodnight kisses.

  Melanie—girl, you continue to inspire me as a mom, an author, and the sweetest of friends. Thank you for another thoughtful critique and for always handing me a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. And yes, I’m now singing that blasted song AGAIN. Sorry to everyone else who’s now singing it too. ;)

  Victorine, as always, thank you for a beautiful cover and for critiquing the story.

  Rachel O, thanks for enduring a sappy romance while reviewing this manuscript, and for lending me that top-notch cop-speak muscle of yours. ;)

  Katie, you’re such a joy to partner with in so many areas of this industry. Thanks for double-checking my music references and for offering helpful suggestions.

  Katy, thank you so much for sharing your insights regarding how symphonies work. You’re a blessing.

  Krista and Rachel J, I greatly appreciate your help in proofing this ms and offering suggestions for improvement. I love partnering with you in this journey.