The Slow Burn ~ Kristen Ashley

by Ashley, Kristen

  So it took about fifteen minutes to get a smoothie down her.

  But . . .

  Whatever.

  She’ll Give a Shit

  Addie

  AFTER MY SHOWER, during which I’d done a lot of grooming (specifically with a razor) that I wished I’d done before my visit to Tobe’s house, in my robe, my hair in a towel, I sat on the side of my bed with my phone.

  Earlier, while I sucked back the fruit, yogurt and protein powder smoothie Toby made me (which was delicious), he told me about his surprising, and very cool conversation with Johnny the day before.

  I had also told him about my conversation with Izzy.

  And we’d made a plan.

  So I instigated that plan right then, texting him, Out of the shower. Ready to do this?

  I then got up and yanked the towel off my head, moving back to the bathroom, Dapper Dan, who was hanging with me, following.

  I didn’t have a lot of time. Toby was going to show at four thirty, everyone else at five, so right then I had about forty minutes to do what I wanted to do before Toby arrived.

  Make an effort.

  A big one.

  For him.

  I had not been in the zone to go all out since well before Brooklyn had been born.

  Perry and my marriage was a disaster, nearly from the beginning. Once his band broke up (and they didn’t make much when they were together), I was the sole breadwinner. I knew in my heart, even if I wasn’t allowing it to sift into my mind, I’d made a huge mistake with my choice of husband, and this was before he’d cheated on me.

  I loved him. I truly did. Enough that I was blind to all his bullshit. But I’d been head over heels.

  Until he made it so I wasn’t.

  And then when I came to Matlock to figure out my life, there was never a reason to do myself up.

  That wasn’t true.

  There was.

  Because there was Toby.

  Admittedly, all the times Brooks and I went to JerryJack’s Diner with Izzy, Johnny and Toby, or out for pizza at the place in Bellevue, again with Izzy, Johnny and Toby, and other times besides, I didn’t do it because I didn’t want him to think I was trying to catch his eye.

  But I’d already caught his eye.

  And now I wanted him to know different sides of me that didn’t involve me being Brooks’s mom, Izzy’s sister, Perry’s ex.

  I mean, I had a feeling he knew this already.

  But I wanted to give him the good stuff.

  Stuff he’d never had.

  And to be honest, I was looking forward to it and wished I had more time. It had been so long, even I forgot this part of me who liked to look hot and feel attractive and get attention.

  The only attention I wanted was Toby’s, and I had that.

  But doing this actually might be more for me than it was for him.

  It was still for him.

  Dapper Dan had decided to stretch out on the bathroom rug, and I was combing out my hair when my phone binged with a text from Toby.

  Let’s roll.

  I smiled, texting back, Calling her now.

  Then I instigated my side of the plan, which was calling Izzy, while I knew Toby was instigating his side of the plan, calling Johnny.

  I hit speakerphone and put the phone by the basin, grabbing the shine oil I put in my hair that was in its dregs.

  I really wanted to drop a hint to someone I needed more for Christmas because it did great things to my hair and I’d miss it when it was gone. But even if I’d decided to let those who loved me help out, and one could say with ten thousand dollars in my desk drawer I could afford a bottle of shine oil, I wasn’t yet at the place to do something like that.

  Izzy’s voice came over the speaker. “Hey, Addie. Everything okay?”

  I was really looking forward to the day when my sister didn’t answer every call with “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, everything’s good. Do you have a second?”

  “Always.”

  Okay.

  Damn.

  This was weird.

  I didn’t think it would be, so caught up in all the goodness that had happened with Toby.

  But two sisters very with two brothers?

  Yeah.

  It was a little weird.

  “Listen, something happened,” I told her.

  “Oh God,” she replied. “What?”

  “I know you heard about that fight I had with Toby.”

  “Yeah,” she said slowly.

  Having put the oil in my hair, I was combing it through, saying, “Well, today we worked things out.”

  Izzy didn’t reply.

  “Like, really worked things out,” I stressed. “We had another huge fight and then we . . . got together.”

  “Got together?”

  “Together together.” I reached for the hairband I used to pull back my hair before I put on makeup and continued, “We had sex.”

  “Oh my God,” she whispered.

  “Izzy—”

  “That’s great!” she cried.

  I couldn’t stop my smile as I grabbed my moisturizer (which I also needed more of, ugh).

  “Great isn’t the word,” I told her.

  “Was it awesome?” she asked in a hushed tone.

  “It wasn’t, it was . . .” I stopped slathering my face with moisturizer to focus on my words. “It was everything, Izzy. It was him and me and what we were doing and what we were feeling, and after, he was so hot and so sweet. He actually gave me a hug before he took off to get rid of the condom. It was just . . . no guy has ever . . . it was just . . . so Toby.”

  “Yeah,” she whispered.

  “He’s into me. I’m into him. He loves Brooklyn. We want . . . we want . . .”

  What was the matter with me? Why couldn’t I just spit this out?

  I spit it out.

  “We’re doing this.”

  “Of course you are,” she stated. “You’re both totally in love with each other. All I can say is, it’s about time.”

  I didn’t go back to my toilette because her words blew everything else out of my brain.

  Totally in love with each other?

  “Is Toby who Johnny’s talking to now?” she asked.

  “Yes. We synchronized our calls.”

  I heard my sister laughing and felt my lips quirking, because it didn’t feel weird anymore. Instead, I realized, it was kinda funny.

  I then went back to getting ready, but I did it having to make something clear.

  “I’m not in love with him . . . yet.”

  “You’re so in love with him,” she returned on what sounded like an actual freaking chortle. “And him you. If sex is good and you finally have some time to be alone without other people around, and you two get along, we might have a double wedding!”

  I knew she was joking because she started laughing her ass off after that.

  I wasn’t laughing.

  “Toby’s not in love with me.”

  “Doll, he is.”

  “You don’t know him well enough to say that.”

  “Maybe not, but Margot does and she says he’s gone for you.”

  Oh my God.

  Margot said that?

  She totally knew Toby.

  Oh my God.

  “I mean,” she went on, “you two finally stopped dancing around each other and love from afar is a lot different than love from up close. But he’s perfect for you, he makes it clear you’re perfect for him, so I see good things and I’m happy. God, Addie, so happy for you.”

  He makes it clear you’re perfect for him.

  Okay.

  I couldn’t think about this.

  I wanted to think about this.

  But I had a mission.

  Look hot for Toby during my family Christmas decorating party.

  I could not let all I was feeling mess with that mission.

  So I stroked on the eye primer and said not a word, actually kinda forgetting I was on th
e phone with my sister.

  “Addie,” Izzy called. “Don’t let that freak you.”

  “Too late,” I muttered.

  “Oh God,” she said anxiously. “Really, he’s a good guy. He thinks you’re amazing. He loves your son. Don’t let that freak you.”

  I reached for the all-over, under-foundation primer, replying, “That part doesn’t freak me, Iz. Me doing something stupid to make him take off does.”

  “You’re not going to do anything stupid. You’re awesome.”

  “You’re my big sister, you’re supposed to say that.”

  “You’re awesome, Addie,” she stated firmly.

  “I was awesome,” I retorted. “I was fun and up for anything and partied all night and worked all day. Now I have a thirteen-month-old kid and I wear a smock to work. An ugly one.”

  “Stop it,” she snapped.

  I paused in putting on shadow because my big sis was not snappy.

  “You’re no different now than you were then,” she declared. “Everyone’s priorities change as they live their lives. Toby’s been all over everywhere doing everything, and for the last seven months he’s been here, working at his family’s garage, because you’re here and he wanted to be around you. I don’t know what this relationship is gonna bring and I don’t know what life is gonna bring for you. I just know you two fit. And more importantly, I know you’re no less awesome now than you were two years ago. In fact, you’re a thousand times more awesome now because you made Brooks, he’s a beautiful boy, you’re a great mom, and that’s added on to what you’ve always been. An amazing sister, a fantastic friend, dependable, loyal, funny and your brand of sweet.”

  I went back to my shadow and didn’t say anything.

  But I felt a lot.

  “Deanna says I’m white chocolate, because I’m so sugary,” she continued. “And she’s dark chocolate, because she’s sharp but still rich. Though I think she’s a truffle. But we’re not talking about Deanna. You are some of that milk chocolate that’s smooth and delicious, but it has chili powder in it, so it’s got a hint of the good kind of sting. That hasn’t changed just because you made a baby. Just be your brand of chocolate because first, it’s you and it’s fabulous, and second, Toby likes the taste.”

  I was blending some smoky-eye magic when I said, “You can stop with the supportive big sister stuff.”

  “There’s that chili powder.”

  I nearly stabbed myself in the eye with my brush as I rolled them.

  “Right, that’s done and you’re cool with it,” I began. “Now I need to ask a favor.”

  “Anything.”

  God, my sister just killed me.

  “I’m feeling the need to share with Toby what he’s getting with me and I have about half an hour to do something it’d normally take an hour to do. This being sexy makeup and fuck-me hair. So things don’t get awkward later when everyone shows, do you mind calling Margot and Deanna and sharing the state of play with Toby and me?”

  “Consider it done.”

  Yeah.

  My sister.

  Killing me.

  But she did it softly.

  “Great. Thank you. Love you. Now I just need to figure out what I’m gonna wear,” I told her.

  “It’s a Christmas party, so that green long-sleeve tee with the low hem that goes over your hips and the deep boat neck that shows the points of your shoulders. Plus that gold belt that looks like it’s made of necklace chains that sits low on your hips. Nothing at your neck, but those red statement earrings with all the swirls and the tear-drop crystals at the bottom. Jeans so it’s still casual. Totally red lippy. Bright red lippy.”

  I was already going to do the red lipstick.

  But the outfit was perfection.

  “Thanks, Izzy.”

  “No problem, Addie. Now I’ll let you get on with it. Love you.”

  “Love you too, babe.”

  “See you soon.”

  “You will. Later.”

  “Later, doll.”

  Once we disconnected, I halted the production in order to pick up my phone and text, Izzy’s cool. She’s happy for us, to Toby.

  Then I got back down to business, giving the makeup a rest in order to blow out my hair, put it in big rollers, give them a shot of hairspray, and get back to makeup.

  In the midst of that, I got a text back from Toby that stated, Johnny’s done. He’s cool too. See you soon, babe.

  When I read that, something weird fluttered in my chest.

  Okay, oh God.

  He was going to see me soon, after we fucked hot, fast and the good kind of nasty on the edge of his bed without even taking off all of our clothes, and we were going to be together for a whole half an hour without Brooklyn or anyone before everyone showed.

  Okay, oh God.

  I was not this girl.

  I knew I was not hard on the eyes. I had Daphne Forrester in me, Eliza as my sister, and she was gorgeous, and I looked like both of them.

  And I’d always had a lot of male attention.

  But it was more.

  I was a survivor. I didn’t need anybody.

  I could pay my bills (or I used to be able to). I could take out my own trash. I could get my car in to change the oil.

  I’d never needed a man to define or complete me.

  And I gave off that vibe and it utterly repulsed some men, but it drew in others.

  One type of those others was Perry, reading me as someone who could take care of myself, and thus would do the same for him.

  Another type was Toby, reading me as someone who might be able to take care of myself (in normal circumstances), and that drew him in because he was confident enough not to allow my confidence to minimize his.

  And I wanted that. I wanted the kind of partner who got me, got off on that and complemented me, letting me complement him.

  So now for the first time (I’d never felt this with Perry), I was nervous.

  Nervous about getting this right.

  Nervous about not fucking this up.

  Suddenly, Dapper Dan shot to his feet and raced out of the bathroom.

  “Addie!”

  He was here!

  Okay, oh God.

  Okay.

  Oh God!

  Through this thought process, I’d gotten my makeup done but my hair wasn’t, and I wasn’t dressed.

  “Down in a second!” I shouted. “Get a beer!”

  The curlers were out, and I’d pulled the top and sides of my hair back for it to disappear under a poofed mess of soft waves that fell from my crown down my back.

  I was happy with my efforts, ready to hit the bedroom and dress, when I turned and saw Tobe leaning in the doorjamb to the bathroom, his fingers wrapped around a bottle of beer.

  His jeans were loose in that way that hinted at the goodness underneath, rather than made it in your face, and now I’d seen his dick. It was perfectly formed, had girth and length, so I knew that goodness firsthand. I’d seen his chest and abs as well, both were beautifully defined, pecs to stomach covered in a light, but still dense smattering of black hair.

  Now that torso was hidden by a spruce button-up that made his black eyes glitter, the shine in his hair shinier, hair that was slicked back with a lift at the top, and the shirt even made his beard seem fuller.

  He’d made an effort too. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him in anything but a tee (except a long-sleeve tee, and a thermal or two).

  He had his black, lace-up boots crossed at the ankles and his eyes on my hair.

  And top to toe, he looked good enough to eat.

  “You’ve ruined my entrance!” I snapped.

  His eyes moved to mine.

  And when they did, I stopped breathing, but my nipples started tingling.

  “Our last sesh lasted probably fifteen minutes, so I’m relatively certain you can take a solid fucking, and during it I can make you come at least three times, and you’ll still have time to get dressed before everyone gets h
ere.”

  I absolutely wanted to “take a solid fucking.”

  What I didn’t want was to have sex hair and post-three-orgasms face when Margot showed.

  “It’s gonna take me at least ten minutes to get my lipstick right.”

  “Addie, just as you are, everything’s fuckin’ right.”

  Oh my God.

  “Jesus,” he muttered, his gaze moving over my face and hair, “I didn’t think you could get more gorgeous. But there it is.”

  Oh my God.

  I had to put an end to this or we were going to go at it on the bathroom floor.

  “You’re ruining my get-hot-for-Toby mojo by making me hot for you,” I told him saucily.

  “Baby, if that was your goal, consider it achieved,” he returned, then ordered, “Come here.”

  “You come here,” I retorted.

  “Okay,” he said.

  Then he came to me, his beer was on the bathroom counter, and I was in his arms, his mouth was on mine, his tongue was in my mouth, and he was totally ruining my hair.

  I did not care.

  When he broke the kiss, I was panting.

  “Changed my mind,” he murmured. “I’m not gonna do you. You’re gonna do me. It’s gonna go slow. And I’m gonna get to watch all of that bouncing on my dick. Just . . . later.”

  “Okay,” I wheezed.

  “You see the lights?” he asked.

  “What lights?” I asked back, totally not following because I had the taste of beer and Tobe in my mouth and a long length of hot guy in my arms with his arms around me, and my mind on riding Toby’s cock later, so I wasn’t even sure if two plus two equaled four.

  “Outside,” he said through hitched lips, having assumed a cocky look that told me he knew my thoughts. A look I hoped he’d keep when I was riding his dick later.

  “Lit up?” I inquired.

  “Yeah.”

  I shook my head.

  “They’re on timers. They go on at five. I’ll turn ’em on early so we can get a look.”

  I nodded my head.

  “If you get dressed,” he said.

  “I need you to let me go in order to do that,” I pointed out.

  “Yeah,” he replied, but didn’t let me go.

  “Talon.”

  “Lollipop, give me five more seconds.”

  “Why? Just to stand in the bathroom and hold me?”

  “Yeah.”

  My God.

  This man.