Jaded Touch (Vesper)

by Sarina, Nola

  I should have known Jack wouldn’t go so quietly. “No!” He stepped toward me with menace in his stance, and for a moment, I felt a thrill of fear mingle with the fire that refused to cool in my core. But he was human; he was no threat to a Vesper. He couldn’t harm my body if he tried.

  Was I afraid of him harming my body, or my heart? Did I fear Jack touching my scars, or something deeper within me? Jack loomed over me, glaring down into my face, and the anger in his eyes burned even brighter than the passion, before. I forced myself to breathe.

  What a powerful soul in such a mortal shell.

  “You haven’t had enough of me yet. That’s a lie and I can see it. I didn’t do anything wrong,” Jack said, his voice lashing with his anger, and the sound curled through my body like flames of new need, flickering desire I didn’t know how to smother. “And you just fucking take off like that? Why?”

  I shook the raindrops from my lashes and averted my gaze. Jack touched my chin, pulling me up to look at him.

  “I saw your scars, okay?” Jack said, and I jerked my chin away from him, stepping back. He closed the distance, refusing to give me my space, so I bared my fangs and snarled at him, the woman he called hot as fuck replaced by the monster within me. How dare he? My blood pounded in my head, and it hurt almost as much as my heart hurt when I lied to him.

  Jack didn’t back down, the stubborn man. He stepped closer, encroaching upon the space I needed to breathe. “I only saw the top one, while you were sleeping the other day. I could make out the outline of the others beneath your shirt. I’m not going to touch them. I never intended to. I was trying to take off your shirt to access your other goods.” He cracked a wry grin at me and I glared at him, not amused.

  “You had no right to look at them,” I croaked, my voice broken from humiliation. That line between hunger and anger was growing more blurry with each passing second, and I could almost feel my fangs sinking into his jugular, poisoning him into silence. And at the same time, I hated myself for the thought, revulsion for my natural fight response creeping up my throat like bile. “They’re mine.”

  Jack held up his hands. “Okay. To be fair, your shirt dipped low: they’re hard to miss.”

  Another growl ripped from my mouth and I stepped back with one foot, ready to charge him if he kept up the backtalk. “I know that!”

  “But I won’t touch them,” Jack continued. “And I won’t bring it up again. You don’t have to tell me what happened.”

  The nasty, sick feeling of anger wouldn’t relent even as he promised to respect my boundary. I clenched my fists and my eyes darted side to side. He saw them. The one thing I wanted to hide from him, the one thing he should have never mentioned if he didn’t want to know how broken I was...

  Jack held out his hand. “Come back to the house. It’s freezing out here. Why is it always fucking raining when a couple argues outside?”

  I didn’t notice the cold on my already-chilled flesh, but his words distracted me and I met his eyes, shocked by the sincerity and kindness I found in them.

  Or was it pity? “You didn’t have to follow me out here,” I snapped.

  Jack clicked his tongue. “Yeah, I did, actually. You’re the most confusing critter I’ve ever met, and I’m not about to lose you over a fucking misunderstanding.”

  I growled and looked away. He was the most confusing critter to ever turn my life upside-down, too. I looked at his hand, but I couldn’t bring myself to take it. Not until I had the rules nailed down and he knew them as well as the inside of his eyelids. “My shirt stays on.”

  Jack frowned, and I hated the disappointment in his eyes. Intricate, pale blue eyes. He dropped his hand. “Why?”

  “Because they’re mine!” My voice rang with emotion I wanted to hide, and water cascaded off my hair, soaking my cheeks.

  “I’ve promised not to touch them, even though I want to taste you from head to toe. You can’t take your shirt off around me?” He shook his head. “No deal, Three.” The sorrow in his words danced through my ears, mocking my desire, and rage bubbled up again.

  “Why the hell not? It’s just a fucking shirt!”

  Jack’s eyes widened. “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you say the f-word.”

  “If I want to leave my fucking shirt on, that’s exactly what I’ll do!”

  “Not if I want it off you. If you can’t let me see you – all of you – then you don’t trust me. That’s what this is all about: I trust the woman who can crush me like an insect – inside and out - and you trust me to give you everything you want, but aren’t willing to let yourself have.”

  I scoffed, rage mixing with an emotion I didn’t want to feel. Was this how I made him feel moments ago: rejected? Dismissed? Furious? “Get off your high horse, Jack. Like you actually trust me!” The sarcasm in my tone flooded the space between us, and I flinched at how much it hurt me to say. Lies, again, spewing from my lips as my wrath bubbled over, smothering the unconditional fire between us.

  His glare darkened as we stared each other down. “How can you say that? You could kill me with one fucking finger if you wanted to. I know how temperamental you Vespers can be, yet I let you in my house… I let you into my bed…”

  I sneered my words more than I meant to, that awful, icy rejection bleeding into my anger like tears, if I had any to shed. “Like you had a goddamn choice but to let me in. Shut your fucking mouth before you really anger me and I devour you in one bite.” Was this me talking? Was that my voice, so loaded with forced threat?

  Jack huffed, anger rolling from his stance and bouncing off my own. He leaned in and cocked his head to the side, exposing his throat for me to bite. “Do it, then.”

  His confidence was stunning... romantic, trusting, infuriating... I should have kissed him. But I was too mad, I couldn’t see anything but red, and I couldn’t stop the train wreck. I planted my hands on his shoulders and shoved him back, hard. He stumbled beneath my force and fresh blood ran from the wounds in both of his arms – one I tended, one I inflicted. “You have no defence against me! None! I could have a thousand mortals eating out of the palm of my hand if I wanted it!”

  Jack stiffened and his expression iced. It wasn’t hot anger, anymore. He stood in the rain, too much water between us to cross as my unpredictable emotions destroyed what was left holding us together. My heart sank. Oh, no. I’d gone too far.

  He swallowed hard and nodded. “I see. Since that’s how you feel about it…”

  I stepped toward him and he stepped back. Oh, shit, no. He was an iceberg in the water, and I couldn’t cross the ocean because he’d just keep drifting further away. “Jack, you don’t understand.”

  “I understand perfectly,” Jack said. “I’m just one in a thousand mortals, right? You’ve made that very fucking clear.”

  “No, I… that’s not what I meant.” What did I mean? Exactly what I said? Or that I was so fucking scared to let him see all of me that I would rather break both our hearts? So he wouldn’t have the power to break mine...

  “Yet you said it,” Jack said. He looked away from me and licked water from his lips, the rain beating down on us heavier than before. “Look… I think I made the mistake, here. I kissed you, remember? Just a mortal trying to live out a fantasy with a woman made of magic and steel. I’m sorry.”

  I shook my head and reached for him. “No, Jack…”

  But he backed away, turning. “See ya, Three. I’ll miss what we could have been.” He broke into a jog and I stood there, helpless and dumbfounded, watching what we could have been disappear behind Jack’s front door.

  Oh, no. The damage was done. I’d broken his heart. I swallowed a surge of rage and another foreign feeling: a scalding ache in the pit of my chest. It rocked my core, and as the lava solidified inside me, I was lost without him. I hadn’t realized how deeply he’d already threaded into my being.

  And because of my ignorance, stubbornness, and wrath, I’d broken us into pieces.

  I cou
ldn’t bear the sight of his empty street any longer. So I spun and sprinted off into the rain, into the night. I caught a train and slipped into the lounge car. There, I wished I could weep for all that I lost, if I’d only let myself have it to begin with.

  But I couldn’t cry, and my stubborn soul refused to release me from my pride. I couldn’t let Jack see my scars. I couldn’t.

  Busted

  Jack suppressed a shudder as two sets of heavy footsteps pounded across the top of the train. Vespers. Exactly what he didn’t want to deal with after his fight with Three that left him devastated and sorry. She was so hot yet so cold at the same time... her reactions to his fingers – everywhere he touched her - betrayed what she wanted, even if she wasn’t sure of her own desires.

  I know what she wants. If only she would let him show her the rough tenderness she craved, and the acceptance she deserved. He could quiet her questioning mind and soothe her worries with just a touch, if she’d stop fighting him thanks to her bullshit programming. Jack knew what she needed. She needed to let go.

  Memories of her porcelain face when she did manage to let go – astride him, or with her legs around his face, or her fingertips carving through his arm in the most forbidden ecstasy – flashed through Jack’s mind. Her moan, her perfect whimpers of pleasure... He shifted as constriction in his pants distracted him from the moment. There were Vespers above. If he wanted to keep Three safe and secret, he’d better turn off his fantasies and concentrate. He focused on the path ahead, trying to keep his inner panic cool for the sake of the engineer-in-training beside him.

  “You ever encountered Vespers before, Theo?”

  Theo shook his head and glanced at Jack, his fear obvious by the beads of sweat trickling down his cheeks.

  Jack sighed. “Okay. Keep your mouth shut and let me talk. I think it’s two of them.”

  “Men?”

  Jack nodded. “Call them Gents, not men. Only speak if they ask you a direct question. Address them as ‘Sir.’”

  Theo cringed. “Fuck, I hope they don’t talk to me. How do you know so much about what they do and don’t want to hear?”

  Because all dominant creatures are the same, inside. Jack let half a grin show to calm Theo down. “You’ll understand them too, in time, if you stay alive long enough. Now shut up. They can hear you.”

  Theo paled and stared back at the track ahead.

  The hatch made a loud, slamming sound as a Vesper wrenched it open above. They dropped in without noise as they always did. Jack listened to see who they were: to look back without invitation would surely award him a beating.

  “You’re concerned you’re going to be blamed,” Levi said. Jack gulped at his voice. Levi was the most menacing of the Gents, though he was often in a good humor.

  Festus, on the other hand, was rarely in a pleasant mood. “Yes,” he said to his younger Vesper brother. “The incompetence of the Maids – and the hoggers, for that matter – makes me look incompetent. I swear, Levi, you have no idea the kind of stress I deal with.”

  Levi snorted. “Let me help, then. What needs doing? How can we rectify this lack of information about the explosion?”

  Jack cringed. Shit. It’s not a social visit.

  Festus’ delight at Jack’s tangible discomfort was a physical presence in the room. “Do you feel like interrogating some Maids?”

  Levi snarled loudly at the suggestion – a savage, booming sound - and Jack flinched. Of course Levi didn’t feel like interrogating Maids. He can’t even stand to be around them, you cruel fuck!

  “What’s option B?” Levi asked after a few steadying breaths.

  “We find the hogger who survived the wreck and ask him some questions,” Festus said.

  Double shit.

  “And how simple it is that only one train engineer survived,” Levi said, dark excitement coloring his tone.

  “And how fortunate that he’s driving this fucking train as we speak!” Festus’ mirth sent fear spiraling through Jack’s core. His fear tripled when Festus tapped him on the shoulder. “Name, Kiddo?”

  “Jack, Sir,” Jack replied without missing a beat.

  “You know his fucking name,” Levi snapped. “Let’s get on with it.”

  Jack didn’t dare turn to see Festus glare at Levi. “I’ll thank you not to interrupt when I’m interrogating a mutiny suspect,” the elder Vesper said.

  Jack stiffened, and Festus didn’t miss his tension. “Oh, you didn’t like those words, did you, Jack? Which one was it: mutiny, suspect, or interrogating?”

  Jack gulped, fury coursing through him that the Vesper would speak to him in such a condescending tone. He spun his seat to face his captors, the bosses, and Festus stepped back with an eyebrow cocked at his boldness.

  “All of the above, Sir,” Jack said. “I have a problem with wrongful accusation, too.”

  Festus grinned at the challenge in Jack’s tone and crouched. Levi stepped closer, his dark height and looming authority as frightening as the shadow of his black leather trench coat swirling around his ankles. Danger thickened the air, but Jack stood his ground.

  “Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?” Festus took Jack’s hand in his own. Jack flinched at the contact, and Festus flipped his hand over and wrapped a frigid, iron hand around Jack’s wrist, his thumb positioned over the soft tendons.

  Jack gulped. “The explosion?” Pain shot through his arm as Festus dug into the soft tissue beneath his palm.

  “Yes, the explosion, you fucking moron,” Festus growled.

  Jack shook his head and sweat pricked up along his hairline. He wanted to scream at them that he was innocent, that he did the best he could, but the panicked reaction was exactly what Festus wanted. Vespers could easily force the truth from a human. But the pain of interrogation was Festus’ idea of fun, and Levi would stand faithful witness as he always did.

  “There were two men and a woman,” Jack rushed as he hyperventilated at the pain. He groaned as Festus tightened his grip, his thumb digging harder between the tendons of his wrist. He searched his brain, pressing back the more important memories of Three, her kisses and taste... “Asian dudes, redheaded chick. Never seen them before.”

  “Chick?” Festus feigned confusion, shaking his head. “I thought this was a woman, not a bird.” He wrapped his other hand around Jack’s bicep and pulled on the hand, stretching the joints of Jack’s arm.

  “Woman! Woman, please, I’ll talk!” Jack sucked in a gasp at the shooting pain in his joints.

  “I know you will.” Festus tugged a little harder and Jack groaned in agony. To fight and pull away would likely break his arm, but if Jack moved forward to release the tension in his elbow and wrist, he would be that much closer to Festus. Jack stayed put, his breath ragged with pain. Levi sighed out loud, clearly displeased with Festus’ method.

  Jack’s tormentor ignored Levi’s quiet objection. “You were saying?”

  Pressure throbbed in Jack’s elbow as Festus pulled, the joints stretched to their limits without dislocating. “I saw them run away from the track, so I called for brakes, but we hit the bomb anyway. Flipped the train...” Burning blistered through his arm and he let out a yelp, Theo cowering lower in his chair as the train barrelled ahead.

  Fuck, Festus! Please! “I got out, but everyone else was dead. Hacked apart by the redheaded woman’s sword. And then the Maid in the lounge car found me in the ditch where I hid, and she carried me off.”

  Festus hummed, and Levi nodded.

  Please hear my truth! Jack’s arm couldn’t take any more tension.

  “Which Maid?” Festus asked.

  Jack hesitated, and Levi’s face darkened with suspicion in the heartbeat it took for the hogger to conjure up a lie. Lying to a Vesper meant death. But if he told the truth, Three would pay the price for something Jack started.

  Something totally forbidden, and totally my fault.

  “I don’t know,” he said, forcing calm into his tone. “I didn’t get her name.”<
br />
  Festus snarled at Jack and shoved hard on his chest at the same time he yanked forward, snapping the joints of Jack’s shoulder, elbow, and wrist apart, dislocating the entire arm.

  The pain wasn’t as terrible as the icy, loose feeling that slammed through his body when Festus released him, his ruined arm draping loosely along the floor when he fell. Nausea spun up from Jack’s stomach and he retched off to the side, grateful the sorrow over his argument with Three had left him without an appetite for a couple days.

  “Let’s try that again!” Festus climbed over Jack and pinned him to the floor of the confined space, sharp knees bearing down on his chest. Jack struggled, but couldn’t do more than draw a breath beneath the weight. Shit!

  Festus took Jack’s other wrist and pressed on the shoulder, preparing to render his other arm invalid, as well. Jack flinched as the Vesper’s heavy hand brushed over the wound on his bicep, the mark of Three’s fingertips in the throes of their most heated passion. Festus paused.

  “You’re injured, here?” Festus poked his shoulder.

  No! “The explosion...”

  Festus curled his fingers around Jack’s uniform and shredded the sleeve away, bearing the wound. “You still think it’s smart to lie to us?”

  Jack stammered and shook his head. Three, oh, fuck! He couldn’t expose her.

  Festus fit his fingertips one at a time over the wound in his shoulder; the five puncture marks dragging down his skin, scabs over dark blue bruises. The wound was one Jack cherished, and now would deliver his lover to her doom.

  “Name the Maid,” Levi said, his voice light, whimsical, making the situation even more surreal than it already was. Levi, who couldn’t stand even the sight of Maids, wanted the name of the Maid Jack touched... the Maid Jack loved. Three.

  “God,” Jack huffed, pain in both his arms. “No.”

  “God can’t help you now, Jack,” Festus said, mistaking his exclamation for prayer. “God abandons all that we touch. And this damage here...” he dug his fingers into the wounds, earning a shout from Jack’s lips, “...was inflicted by our kind. So you, dear hogger, are fucked.”