Cocksure

by K. I. Lynn

  And all-wheel drive or four-wheel drive.

  I’m tempted to give her my Tahoe so that I know she and the baby are safe.

  As I wait for the elevator, I pull out my phone to double check her floor. When the doors open, I step on and hit the button for the fourteenth floor. It’s a steady ride up with no stops.

  When I get off, there is nobody at the receptionist desk, so I continue with Everly’s directions to go left. I pass by offices and cubicles, earning more than one questioning or lust-filled glance.

  Just as I get to her office, I slow, catching the eyes of an uptight-looking suit that’s manning the desk outside her office.

  “Can I help you?” he asks.

  “I’m here to see Everly Hayes. She’s expecting me,” I say.

  “She doesn’t have any more appointments for today. What did you say your name was, again?”

  “I didn’t. Who are you?”

  He stares at me and shakes his head. “That isn’t usually how this works, guy, but I’ll humor you. I’m Lance, and now you are?”

  “Lance? As in Lancelot?” I ask him. What kind of name is Lance? Already I don’t like this guy. He rolls his eyes at my question, and I want to just tell him to get out of my way so I can get my girl, but I’m at her job. I don’t want to make shit uncomfortable for her.

  “No, as in just Lance. Now, are you going to tell me your name so that I can see if Ms. Hayes is interested in seeing you, or are you going to stand here all afternoon trying to measure my dick?”

  Is this guy fucking kidding me? “Measure your dick?”

  He blows out a breath and rolls his eyes as he picks up the phone. “Everly, there’s a man here to see you, but he won’t give me his name. Were you expecting someone, or should I send him on his way?” He ignores me and holds the phone to his ear.

  “Everly?” This prick obviously knows Ev on some personal level if he calls her by her first name. What the fuck? “What do you mean some guy, and I’d like to see you try to send me on my way, buddy.” This moron needs someone to put him in his place. Send me on my way? Un-fucking-likely. “Of course she’s going to see me, asshole. I’m her baby daddy.”

  “Niko!” I hear her shout from the receiver the dumbass has pulled away from his ear. More than likely did that on purpose, too. “I’ll be out in a second, Lance. Have Niko wait for me, please.”

  “If you say so, Everly.”

  Of course she says so. What the fuck is up with this guy? He hangs up the phone and points me in the direction of the chairs in a waiting area. I start to walk away, but the fucker rubs me the wrong fucking way, and I can’t stop myself.

  “For the record, pretty GQ boy, nine and a half inches, that’s what I’m working with. That’s what she likes, and I know for a fact that she’s not complaining seeing as she is currently baking my kid in her oven. Just wanted to make you aware of that, you know, in case you get any ideas that include whatever you’re packing under that tight-ass suit you got on there, Mr. Not-Fucking-Gay secretary.”

  His mouth screws up, and I can see the way his jaw ticks. “I’m an executive assistant. And assistant does not mean gay, asshole. Why don’t you go sit down before I get fired for punching my boss’s baby daddy with the nine-and-a-half-inch dick,” the smug son of a bitch says.

  I snort and stand in place.

  I’m not letting this asshole get the best of me. Screw that, and screw him. Fucking secretary.

  He’s lucky we’re at Everly’s job because if we were outside or somewhere else, I’d knock his stuck-up ass the hell out, wrecking his pretty-boy face. That alone would go a long way in making me feel better about the fact that Ev’s fucking assistant is a straight guy and probably close to my age. He reminds me of Bishop with his stupid shoes, gelled up hair, and the stupid face that the chicks flock to.

  And. He. Works. With. Ev. This is bullshit. He’s got to go. I’m just going to have to let her know that I am not okay with this guy working as her assistant.

  I‘m not fucking moving. I look him up and down before I stand my ground and let him know what’s up.

  “I’m not sitting anywhere. I’m going to wait right here . . .” I point to the spot in front of me “. . . until my woman is ready to go.”

  His lips twitch, but he’s smart enough not to laugh. If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll just pay attention and keep his eyes to himself.

  “We have a doctor’s appointment today. Gonna find out if my kid is a boy or a girl. That’s what couples do. Ones that are about to have a kid together.” That sounded stupid even to me, but I don’t give a shit right now. If pretty-boy Lance here had any ideas about hitting on my girl, even if she is pregnant, he can get that shit right out of his stupid gel-haired covered head. Not happening.

  He shakes his head and continues to pack up his desk. I guess he’s about to leave for lunch. Good. I hope his GQ-looking face chokes on an ice cube or something. Anything that would take his ass away from this office and Everly.

  Fuck. Now I wish I’d met her at the doctor’s office like she said instead of coming here to her job. The situation has thrown me, and I’m acting and talking like some stupid gym rat that doesn’t have two brain cells. Douchebag probably thinks my dick is all I have going for me, and the only reason Ev is with me when it’s not, but this fucking weird feeling is making me dumb.

  Cam said she had a gay secretary. He either lied or thought the same thing I did. Male secretary equals gay. Same thing we thought about the guy that cut his hair too, but we were both wrong about Omar. It turns out he was married with eight kids and cut hair on the side to make extra cash.

  Fucking Cam.

  I look over at pretty-boy Lance and give him a once over while he’s not paying attention to me. There doesn’t seem to be anything flamboyant about this fucker. That’s for sure. He also just came right out and said he wasn’t gay, so why am I still looking for signs that he’s lying?

  I wait a few minutes until finally Everly’s office door opens and my beautiful girl appears. And she’s not looking too happy.

  “Hey, baby,” I say.

  No hello. No nice to see you. No thanks for picking me up, Niko. Nope. I get the ice queen.

  Fuck.

  This afternoon should be terrific.

  “I’m heading out. I’ve left a few files for the Anderson account that Jim was looking for today. If you could just send a courier over to his office, I’d appreciate it, Lance.”

  “Of course, Everly. I’ll take care of it first thing after lunch,” he says to her, and she smiles.

  I get the fucking ice queen bullshit, but she gives that fucking clown her teeth.

  “Let’s go, Niko,” she snaps at me, and I’m left watching her twitch her little ass as she walks away from me and toward the elevators. I turn and see Lance is looking at her ass same as me, and I lose it.

  “Keep your fucking eyes off her ass,” I growl at him, causing Everly to stop and walk back to where Lance and I still stand.

  “Niko!” she hisses at me.

  She doesn’t yell. Nope. She fucking hisses at me like some wildcat. Fine with me. Personally, I like it when her claws come out.

  “Everly . . .” She looks at me, fire burning in her hazel eyes, and all I can think about is later tonight. It’s going to be all about the hate fuck. My cock stiffens at the thought, and I want to pull her ass into her office so I can fuck her on her desk, making her scream my name and let Lance here know who owns that pussy. She looks over at Lance and her expression changes from pissed off to embarrassed.

  “I’m so sorry, Lance. He’s not normally like this. Next time I’ll make sure I bring the muzzle. Trust me, though, his bark is way bigger than his bite. See you in the morning,” she says and grabs my hand, dragging me along behind her.

  The elevator opens just as we reach it and luckily it’s empty. Maybe it would have helped me had it been occupied because as soon as the doors close, she unleashes her full ice-queen persona.

&nb
sp; “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  “What’s wrong with me? You’re kidding right now, right?”

  “No, Niko, I’m not kidding. That’s my assistant! What if that had been my boss?”

  “Yeah, your assistant, not your secretary, he doesn’t like that. Why’s your secretary a guy?” I ask.

  “Why not?” she responds, then smacks me on the pec. “Since when did you turn all green-eyed monster on me?”

  “Since your assistant is a fucking dude!” Fuck. She’s my girl, and I don’t want some other guy that close to her.

  “I’m not arguing about this,” she says, turning forward again. “He works for the company and me. He’s great at his job, and I am not fighting about this.”

  “I don’t like him.”

  She turns back to me, glaring. “You don’t have to like him. I do!” she hisses.

  “Are we going to go find out what we’re having, or are we going to stand here all day talking about your asshole secretary?”

  “You’re un-fucking-believable right now.” She shakes her head at me and rather than tell me off any longer, she stomps away toward the car.

  “Oh yeah, angry make-up sex later. I’m all for it,” I say out loud, but she keeps going. “Very very angry, hate, make-up sex. Even better, babe.” She pulls the door open, gets into my Tahoe, and slams the door. I smile and walk to the driver’s side. Once inside I start it up and turn my satellite radio on to lighten the mood. “Animals” by Maroon 5 comes on, and I see Ev’s lips twitch from the corner of my eye.

  Yup! Make-up sex indeed.

  TWENTY MINUTES LATER, AND we are finally checking in at her OB GYN’s office. There are about eight pregnant women in all different stages of their pregnancies also waiting, and one woman with a newborn in one of those car seats with the handle. We take a seat next to the woman, and I see Everly looking down to the floor where the infant is sleeping with a pink blanket covering her. I hear another woman ask if it’s a girl or a boy, and I want to roll my eyes. Unless she’s blind, how the hell would you not know it’s a girl with the bright pink blanket on her?

  “She’s very beautiful,” Everly says to the new mother. “How old is she?”

  “She’s eight days old.” She smiles back at Ev who is staring at the baby in complete fascination.

  “Oh wow! You look fantastic for having just had a baby eight days ago!” The woman smiles at Everly and then looks down at her growing belly.

  “Your first?” she asks. Everly places her hands on her belly and smiles back, her lousy mood from earlier gone.

  “Yes. We’re due in March.” I grab her hand, and she looks over at me with something in her eyes I’ve never seen before. The woman’s name is called, and she stands to collect her things and her new baby.

  “Good luck!” she says to us and heads toward the nurse waiting for her.

  “Hey,” I say to her. “You all right?”

  “What if we fuck this up?” she asks as she stares down at her lap.

  “Fuck what up?”

  “Being parents.” She looks back up at me, her brow knitted. “I know there is a human being growing inside of me right now. I feel the baby, but seeing that little girl just now. That eight-day-old little person is sleeping helplessly in her little car seat . . .” She doesn’t finish right away, but I see her lip tremble, and I have no idea what just made her start doubting herself.

  “Baby, look at me.” She looks over to me, and I know what it was now in her eyes before. Fear.

  “This is such a fucked-up world. What if something happens? What if the baby gets sick? What if I don’t know how to take care of it when it gets sick?”

  “Everly, stop.”

  “We don’t know, Niko. I know I sound crazy, but seeing that baby just made this feel more . . .”

  “Real?” I ask.

  “Yeah. I guess. I don’t know. I’m sure it’s just my hormones again, but I’ve been going full speed ahead with the house and the new job, my parents, Cam, and then you that I haven’t let everything that’s coming in the future sink in, you know?”

  I nod my head yes because I do know.

  “We’re going to be okay, babe. We can only try our best as our parents did, and if we fuck up, well we just do. Live and learn, and that’s what we teach this baby that’s coming. Women have been doing this forever, and I’m positive that you’re not the first mother-to-be to have the same doubts and fears. It’s normal.”

  “Aren’t you scared?”

  I laugh at her question. “Fucking petrified, but I have something that grounds me when those fears kick in.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You.”

  “Everly Hayes?” a woman calls from the entryway to the back rooms. I stand up and grab Ev’s hand to help her up from her seat. We walk over to where the woman is waiting, and she smiles at us both before telling us to follow her to the ultrasound room.

  This is it. The day we find out if we are having a girl or a boy, and I’m nervous. We just want the baby to be healthy, but I won’t lie and say that I’m even more terrified of finding out we have a girl on the way.

  I don’t think I could handle a little girl. I wouldn’t know what to do with a girl. A boy, yes, but little girls aren’t my specialties. Not only that, but I know how guys are. Guys like I was as a teen and then as a man up until I met Everly. I’d go to jail over some pimple-faced little fucker trying to date my daughter.

  No, God wouldn’t do that to me. I told Ev it didn’t matter, but it does. I need a boy.

  “If you could just unbutton your pants and place this on the lower half of your belly, the technician will be in shortly. There is a chair for you over there, Dad, so you can watch the monitor while we do the ultrasound,” the woman says and then closes the door behind her.

  I walk over and drag the chair over to sit next to Ev who’s now lying back with her belly exposed.

  “I’m nervous,” I say to her.

  “Me too, but I’m also excited, if that makes sense?”

  “Yeah,” I say quietly to her, squeezing her hand. If this is how we feel during just an ultrasound, I can’t imagine what will happen when she’s ready to give birth.

  “Niko?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I’m glad that I have you, too.”

  We sit and wait for a few minutes before the ultrasound technician makes her way into the room we are in. “Good afternoon. Everly Hayes?”

  “Yup! That’s me,” Ev says, not sounding like herself.

  “My name is Lisa, and I’m going to do your ultrasound. I understand that you would like to know the sex of the baby as well today?” she asks, looking at the both of us.

  “Yes. We both want to know,” Ev says and smiles.

  I nod, and the woman starts to type a few things on the machine’s keyboard.

  “Well then, let’s hope this little peanut feels like cooperating with us today, and I will see what we can do to help you guys pick out the right colors for your baby.”

  “You can’t always find out the sex of the baby by ultrasound?” I ask, confused. I thought this was an absolute when the doctor told us she was scheduling her ultrasound.

  “Well, not always. You’re right at twenty-one weeks, and it’s easier to get a good picture a little later in the pregnancy.”

  “But you’ll still be able to see? How accurate will it be?”

  “Sometimes the baby will turn away or cross its legs in a way that makes it difficult to see, but I’m pretty good usually, so let’s see what I can do for you two. Any allergies to latex?” she asks Ev, and I’m half tempted to answer for her knowing from experience, but I don’t want Ev mad at me during this.

  “No,” Ev replies.

  “Okay, good. Let’s get started, then. I’m just going to put some of the gel on your tummy. It might be a little cold. Sorry about that,” she says to Ev, but she’s not really talking to anyone. Sounds more like words she says one hundred times a day, which I�
�m sure, being an ultrasound tech, she does. She moves some kind of device onto the jelly shit she just squirted on Ev’s belly.

  “Do you mind if I ask questions?” I ask her, because I want to know what she’s doing exactly and what it is that I’m looking at. I’m clueless. I see nothing but black and white shit on the screen.

  “Not at all. Most of my first-time parents do.”

  “What am I looking at exactly, and how does this allow us to see the baby?” I ask, noticing the way Ev’s head bobs. It seems she wants to know as well.

  “Well, this thing right here is called a transducer.” She motions down to her hand. “It uses inaudible sound waves to produce a two-dimensional image of the baby while inside the mother’s uterus. The sound waves bounce off solid structures in the body and are transformed into an image onto the screen here,” she says, pointing to the images. “Solid parts, such as bones and muscles, reflect sound waves and appear as light gray or white like here.” Again, she points at the screen. Now that she is explaining it, I can see exactly what I’m looking at. I think. “Soft or hollow areas, like the chambers of the heart, don’t reflect sound waves and appear dark or black. You see that there?” she says, pointing to the black spot that appears to be blinking rapidly. “That’s the baby’s heart. Looks good.” She smiles at Ev and me before looking back to the screen and typing on the keyboard in front of her.

  I stare at the screen in awe of what Ev and I have created. The other part of me is now even more afraid of the type of father I’ll be to this baby. Ev isn’t the only one doubting themselves, but I didn’t want her to freak out even more. If anyone will be excellent at parenting, it’s her. I look down at Ev and squeeze her hand. She doesn’t look at me, though. She’s enraptured, her eyes unblinking at the image of our baby on the screen. I notice a few tears roll from her eyes, and she swipes quickly at them.

  “Hey,” I say, and she finally turns to look at me. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Then why are you crying, babe?”

  She shakes her head at me, swiping again at her face as the tears roll freely now down her face. “These are happy tears, you goof. I just can’t believe we made a little human.”