Maybe Not (Maybe #1.5)

by Colleen Hoover

  “Fuck,” I whisper.

  “Okay,” she replies.

  She begins to move, and I don’t know what to do with myself. My hands want to hold her by the waist as she slides up and down, but I also know I’m not allowed to touch her. My eyes take her in as she continues her movements, her perfect, methodical, sweet movements.

  After several minutes of watching her on top of me with her eyes closed and her lips parted, I give up. I can’t not touch her. My hands grip her waist and she tries to pull them away but I just grip harder, lifting her when she rises and pulling her down when she falls. She gives up trying to fight me after seeing how much better my strength can make it feel.

  I want to hear her moan and I want to hear her fall apart on top of me, but she’s holding it all back, just like I knew she would.

  I slide my hands up her back and pull her forward until our mouths meet. I keep one hand on the back of her head and one on her waist as she continues her rhythm on top of me.

  I curve my hand around her hip and slowly slide it over her stomach, until I’m touching her. I slide a finger between us, separating her, feeling her warmth and wetness surround me. She moans into my mouth and I begin to rub her, but she immediately stops moving. She grabs my wrist and pulls it away from her, slapping my arm against the mattress again.

  Her eyes open and focus firmly on mine as she slowly begins to move again. “Keep your hands on the mattress, Warren,” she warns.

  Dammit, she’s making this difficult. I need to feel her again, and when I’m done touching her, I want to taste her. I want that wetness and warmth all over my tongue.

  But first, I’ll let her have her way. I close my eyes and stop trying to take control. I focus on her tightness, swallowing me up. I focus on the fact that each time her body meets mine, I’m as deep inside of her as I can possibly go.

  She leans forward and her breasts dance back and forth across my chest as she moves on top of me.

  Heaven is definitely for real.

  My legs begin to tense and my hands are searching for something to grip as I feel myself building. She can sense I’m near release, so she tightens around me and her thrusts become faster and harder. I keep my eyes closed as my body begins to shake beneath her.

  I want to cuss and groan, and let her know how good this feels as I release inside of her, but I don’t make a single noise. If I’m not allowed to touch her while I come, then she’s not allowed to hear how much I fucking love every second of it.

  She continues to move over me as I quietly succumb to the tremors. When it’s over, she comes to a stop on top of me. I open my eyes and look up at her and catch her smiling down at me. As soon as she realizes I’m looking at her, the smile is gone.

  I want her to collapse against my chest. I want to roll her onto her back and take her in my mouth until she’s screaming my name out in ecstasy, rather than anger.

  Instead, she slowly slides off of me. She stands and turns toward the bathroom. “Goodnight, Warren.”

  The door closes behind her and I’m lying here in complete confusion. I would be running after her right about now, but I’m still too weak to move.

  I give myself time to regroup, and then I remove the condom and toss it into the bathroom trash can on my way to her bedroom. I swing open the door just as she’s crawling into her bed. As soon as her head meets her pillow, I’m on top of her, kissing her. As expected, she pushes me away.

  “What did I say about being clingy?” she says, pulling her face from mine.

  “I’m not being clingy,” I say, kissing my way down her neck. “We’re not finished.”

  She pulls away even farther and pushes my face back. “I’m pretty sure we finished, Warren. About three minutes ago.”

  “I finished,” I say, looking her in the eyes. “But you didn’t finish.” I can feel her resistance as she attempts to roll over.

  “Warren, stop,” she says, pushing me away.

  I don’t pull away from her. Instead, I wrap my arm around her and slowly move my hand across her stomach.

  That’s when she slaps me.

  I immediately pull back and look down at her in shock.

  She pushes me away and scoots up on her bed until her back meets the headboard. “I said stop,” she says, defending her slap.

  I work my jaw back and forth, not sure what to do. In all my years of experience with girls and even in all the recent porn I’ve been watching, this isn’t how sex usually goes. People are selfish by nature and the fact that she doesn’t even want me to get her off is confusing the hell out of me.

  “Am I . . .” I pause and look at her. “Am I misreading something here? Because I thought . . .”

  “We fucked, Warren. It’s over, now go to sleep.”

  I shake my head. “No, Bridgette. You fucked. You did all the work and you didn’t even get to enjoy it. I don’t understand why you won’t let me touch you.”

  She groans, frustrated. “Warren, it’s fine. It was fun.” She looks away from me. “I just don’t like the other part, so go to bed.”

  She doesn’t like the other part? The part where she has an amazing, mind-blowing orgasm?

  “Okay,” I say. “I’ll go to bed.”

  “Thank you,” she mutters.

  “But first,” I say, holding up my finger. “I need to know something.”

  She rolls her eyes. “What?”

  I lean toward her and look at her with fascination. “Is this how sex always is with you? You have to be in complete control, to the point where you don’t even allow someone to get you off?”

  She kicks at me with her foot, trying to get me to leave her bed. “I’m not discussing my sex life with you, Warren. Go back to your room.”

  She scoots down on her bed until her head meets her pillow. She rolls over until her back is to me and she pulls the covers up over her head.

  Holy shit. This is . . . I don’t even know what to think. I’ve never met anyone like her. She has some serious control issues.

  “Bridgette,” I whisper, needing her to roll over and talk to me again. She ignores me, but I can’t leave because this conversation needs to happen. “Are you telling me you’ve never had an orgasm during sex?”

  The covers fly off her head and she rolls onto her back. “It’s never been an issue with anyone until you,” she says angrily.

  I laugh and shake my head and for some reason, feel extremely happy about this. Because she’s apparently been with some really selfish assholes in the past, and I’m about to show her what she’s been missing.

  She pulls the covers back over her head and faces the opposite direction again. Rather than stand and walk back to my room like I know she wants me to do, I lift the covers and slide in behind her. I wrap my arm over her, pressing my palm against her stomach, pulling her against my chest.

  She practically growls at me. “Warren, stop. Believe it or not, I’m perfectly happy with my sex life, and I don’t need you to Oh, my God.” She stops mid-rant as soon as I cup her between the legs.

  I rest my cheek against hers. “I need you to shut up, Bridgette.”

  She doesn’t move, so I roll her onto her stomach and slide on top of her. I pin her arms beneath my hands, just like she did me earlier. “Please don’t resist me,” I whisper into her ear. “I want to be in control, and I want you to do what I say.” I run my tongue across her ear and watch as the chills break out on her neck. “Understood?”

  Her breaths are shallow, and she squeezes her eyes shut with her nod.

  “Thank you,” I tell her. I kiss my way down her neck and shoulder, and then work my kisses slowly across her back. Her entire body is tense and knowing that she’s never experienced an orgasm at the hands of another guy already has me hard again.

  I reach down to her thighs and spread her legs with my hand. She buries her face into he
r pillow and it makes me smile. She’s never been this vulnerable with someone else, and she doesn’t want to give me the pleasure of seeing how much she enjoys it.

  I keep my eyes focused on her anyway as I slowly push two fingers inside of her, waiting for her to moan into her pillow.

  She doesn’t make a sound, so I pull them out and re-enter her with three fingers this time.

  I press my forehead into her pillow, right next to her face, and I wait for the sounds to escape.

  Nothing. I laugh quietly, because I really have my work cut out for me.

  I pull my hand away from her and flip her onto her back. Her eyes are still closed tightly so I grab her jaw and press my lips to hers. I kiss her hard and deep, until she begins to kiss me back with just as much anger. She pulls at my hair and spreads her legs for me, wanting me to bury myself inside of her.

  I do. I push her panties aside and shove into her so hard and fast, she lets out a moan and my God, I need more of that. So much more. But I don’t have on a condom, and this time isn’t about me, so I pull out of her. I take one of her breasts in my hands and bring it to my mouth.

  I slowly kiss my way down her stomach and the lower I get, the tenser her body grows. I can feel her hesitation and part of me wants to devour her immediately, but part of me needs to know that I’m not going too far, too fast. I can tell by the stiffness in her posture that she’s nervous now. I position both my hands on her waist and look up at her. She’s chewing nervously on her bottom lip and her eyes are terrified.

  “Have you never let anyone do this to you?” I whisper.

  She releases her bottom lip with the shake of her head. “I don’t like it.”

  “How would you know?”

  She shrugs. “I just know.”

  I pull her hips down several inches on the bed. “You’re too stubborn for your own good.” I lift her and begin to lower my mouth to her, but she pulls back and sits up.

  “Don’t. I don’t want to do this.”

  I grip her hips and pull her back down. “Lie back and close your eyes, Bridgette.”

  She continues to look at me with fear in her eyes, refusing to lie back down, so I lift up onto the palms of my hands. “Will you please stop being so stubborn and just relax? Fuck, woman. I want to give you the best ten minutes you’ve ever had in your life, but you’re making it really difficult.”

  She bites her lip hesitantly, but she does as I say and slowly lowers herself to the bed, relaxing into her pillow.

  I smile triumphantly and press my lips to her stomach again. I start just below her belly button and trail slow kisses all the way down until I meet her panties. I hook my fingers into the waistband and pull them down, over her hips, over her thighs, and I continue to slowly remove them until I’m at her ankles. Once I toss them on the floor, I lift her leg and press a soft kiss against her ankle, then her calf, then the inside of her knee, repeating the kisses all the way up her thigh, until I’m inches from sliding my tongue against her. As soon as I position my mouth over her, I can feel her warmth beckoning me.

  “Warren, please . . .” she begins to protest. As soon as the word please leaves her mouth, my tongue slides against her, separating her. She lifts her hips several inches off the bed and cries out, so I grip her waist and pull her back down to the bed.

  She’s sweet and salty and as soon as my mouth is against her, I’m convinced she could satiate every ounce of hunger I’ll feel for the rest of my life.

  She cries out again, still trying to pull away from me. “What . . . God . . . Warren . . .”

  I continue to lick her, devour her, run my tongue over every bare part of her so that I leave no inch of her untasted. Her hands find their way back to my hair just as my fingers find their way back inside of her. I’m filling her, consuming her with my tongue, and she’s taking every ounce of me she can get. She’s no longer trying to scoot away from me. Now she’s pressing my face into her, begging me to go faster.

  Her hands leave my hair and meet her headboard as she grips it tightly and locks her legs around my shoulders. I keep my fingers buried inside of her as she cries out my name with each tremor that racks her body. I continue to please her until her shudders subside and her moans fade into silence.

  I kiss the inside of her thigh as I pull my fingers out of her. I kiss all the way up her stomach until I’m pressed against her again, wanting to slide inside of her and stay the night.

  I want to kiss her, but I don’t know if she’d want that. Some girls prefer not to be kissed afterward, but my mouth is aching with a need to feel her lips against mine.

  Apparently she wants the same thing, because she doesn’t even hesitate when she pulls my face to hers and kisses me with a moan. There’s so much pressure in every inch of my body, because I want to take her again. The only thing that can relieve that pressure is to push into her, which is exactly what I do.

  She lifts her hips and meets my thrusts and I know I should stop. I have to stop.

  I don’t know why I can’t stop.

  I’ve never been inside a girl without a condom before, but she makes me stupid. She renders my conscience useless, and all I can think about is how incredible she feels.

  And also how much I need to stop.

  Stop, Warren. Stop.

  I somehow pull out of her and press my face against her chest, gasping for air.

  It hurts. God, it hurts. I live in the next room, where there’s a drawer full of condoms, but I’m not sure I’d make it that far if I tried to stand.

  She pulls my face back to hers and presses her lips to mine. She slides her hands down to my lower back and she pulls me against her, pressing her warmth against me as she urges me to move with her.

  She feels incredible. It’s not the same as being inside her, but the way she’s moving against me feels pretty damn close. I close my eyes and bury my face against her neck as I work to increase the pace between us.

  I grab a fistful of her hair and tilt her face to mine as I look down on her, watching as we both grow nearer to yet another release. She winces and I feel the first of her shudders pass through her. “Warren,” she whispers. “Kiss me.”

  I do.

  I cover her mouth with mine and drown out her moans with my own as I feel the warmth of my release spread between us. I’m holding her as tight as I can, kissing her as hard as I can.

  All my weight is against her now that I’m physically incapable of holding myself up for another second. Her hands slide from my neck and fall to the bed. I’m too weak to speak, or I would be telling her how amazing she is. How good she feels. How perfect her body is and how she just single-handedly got the upper hand for all of eternity.

  I can’t speak, though. My eyes fall shut from pure exhaustion.

  Pure, blissful exhaustion.

  • • •

  “Warren.”

  I try to open my eyes, but I can’t. Or I just don’t want to. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced as deep of a sleep as the one I’m being torn from right now.

  Her hand is on my shoulder and she’s shaking me. I lift my head and turn to face her, curious if she’s ready for another round. I smile at her through sleepy eyes.

  “Go to your room,” she says, kicking me with her feet. “You’re snoring.”

  My eyes fall shut again but they fly open when her cold feet meet my stomach. She uses the strength of her legs to try and push me out of her bed. “Go,” she groans. “I can’t sleep.”

  I somehow push myself into a standing position. I look down at her and she rolls onto her stomach, flips her pillow over, and sprawls out across her mattress.

  I shuffle my way across her bedroom, through our bathroom and to my own bed. I fall onto it and close my eyes, taking all of three seconds to fall right back to sleep.

  Chapter Six

  I’m convinced that I
’ve never slept as well as I did last night. And even though she kicked me out of her bed, I still feel victorious. Like royalty.

  After I’m showered and dressed, I join Ridge in the kitchen. He’s cleaning up what looks like breakfast, which is odd, because neither of us ever cooks breakfast. But then I understand when Maggie emerges from his room.

  “Morning, Maggie,” I say to her with a smile.

  She eyes me cautiously. “What’s with you?”

  Right at that moment, Bridgette’s bedroom door opens. We all watch her walk into the living room. She pauses when she looks up and sees us all staring at her.

  “Morning, Bridgette,” I say with a triumphant smile. “Sleep well?”

  She sees the look on my face and immediately rolls her eyes. “Screw you, Warren.” She walks into the kitchen and begins rummaging through the refrigerator, searching for something to eat. I watch her the entire time, until Ridge taps me on the shoulder.

  “You had sex with her?” he signs.

  I immediately shake my head in defense. “No,” I sign back. “Maybe. I don’t know. It was an accident.”

  Maggie and Ridge both laugh. He grabs Maggie’s hand and pulls her toward his bedroom. “Come on,” he signs. “I don’t want to be in here when Bridgette realizes her mistake.”

  I watch them retreat back to Ridge’s room, and then I turn and face Bridgette. She’s glaring at me.

  “Did you just tell him we had sex?”

  I find myself once again shaking my head. “He already knew. I told him the other day.”

  Bridgette tilts her head to the side. “We had sex last night. How did you tell him before it happened?”

  I grin. “I had a good feeling.”

  She lets her head drop back in defeat, until she’s staring up at the ceiling. “I knew it was a bad idea.”

  “It was a great idea,” I interject.

  She looks at me with as much seriousness as she can muster. “It was a onetime thing, Warren.”