Alice's Summertime Adventure

by Suzanne Jenkins

  “Sorry,” he said, leaving it at that. He knew they had some big issues to work out right away if they were going to even try to have a relationship. He wanted to be with her, but knew he’d be making sacrifices for it.

  They arrived at the door and went about getting settled. Dave carried his bags into the house. His mind was whirling with thoughts of how he would proceed. Alice was at the sink, filling the coffee pot. She wanted to ask Dave to leave so she could get back into bed and stay there until she died. The weight of finding out that Lynn skipped her surgery coming on the heels of Dougie’s funeral was too much. But she knew she needed to fight through this depression as she had so many times before. Her method was to face that moment and not go beyond it until the next moment presented itself.

  She poured the water into the coffee maker and measured out the ground coffee carefully. In the background she heard Dave doing something with the packages he’d brought into the house. He was walking out of her bedroom when she turned around.

  “Come with me for a minute,” he said.

  It was clear he was nervous, so she followed him, hoping with all her might he wasn’t going to try to have sex with her again. He walked backward into the bedroom, leading her in, and then stepped to the side. At first glance, she didn’t understand what she was looking at, arranged neatly on her bed. Then she recognized a large, vinyl-looking penis attached to some elastic belts and realized it was his strap-on device, on her bed.

  “Oh my God! Get that thing off my quilt,” she screamed. “Dave, are you insane?” She lunged for it, but then stopped short, not wanting to touch it, repulsed by the notion that he put that disgusting thing into her without her permission. It was the culmination of everything she’d gone through that weekend, and without wanting to, she burst into tears. It was either that or start beating him with the penis. “Well, this is just the icing on the cake,” she said.

  He reached for her to embrace her, but she wasn’t having it and pushed him away and walked out of the bedroom. Sitting at the kitchen table, she put her head down on her arms and cried while Dave put the offensive objects away. She was still at it when he came out again.

  “Look, I’m sorry, Alice. But I thought if you could see it, it would make things easier for you, for us.”

  “How?” she asked. “It’s repulsive. It’s repulsive because I didn’t have a say in using it. Couples that need that thing decide it together, don’t they? They don’t lie about it and try to deceive.”

  “I was hoping we were going to be able to get beyond that,” he said.

  “Could you give me a chance? It might be your youth, but I think you’re expecting more from me that I’m able to give you. I need your companionship, but I don’t want to reinvent my sex life right now,” she said.

  He thought about what she said. Maybe she was right. He could investigate insemination, and then make the decision about reassignment surgery. We barely know each other, he thought. It made him laugh out loud. He went to Alice and grabbed her in a hug, pulling her out of the chair.

  “Please forgive me,” he said. “I am so selfish. Don’t you think I’m acting just like a man?”

  Alice snickered into his shoulder.

  “Alice, I’ll give you all the time you need. I don’t expect you to get used to me overnight.”

  “So what’s the plan?” she asked. “I’m almost afraid to hear what you have in mind.”

  “Well, let’s get Lynn’s situation straightened out. Then I want to have a baby. Are you up for it? I’ll need your help, I mean, I’ll need you to be a parent,” he said.

  “You don’t even know me!” Alice replied. “Surely you can see that I didn’t do that great a job with my own.”

  “I’ve told you before; this is life. Everyone has this crap, and if they deny it, they’re lying,” he said. “I want to have a baby,” he repeated. “I wish I could get John to make a donation. Then it would be your grandchild, too.”

  Alice pushed him away. “That’s going too far. Like I said, we don’t know each other yet. And to make that kind of commitment, well, it’s too precious. We need more time.”

  “I don’t have that much time! My clock is ticking,” Dave said sadly.

  “Well, do you have three months? Jeesh! You make it sound like you need to get knocked up tomorrow or all will be lost,” Alice said, exasperated.

  Dave pulled her to him again. “Come back here,” he said, laughing, looking into her eyes. “Three months it is. I can wait three months.”

  Dave went back to Fenwick Island Wednesday morning without getting to use his device. He packed it up, stashing it back in his car. Immediately after Alice gave him the three-month time frame, the strap-on became an icon, representing what was wrong with their relationship. He would give her three months to let him know if she wanted to continue. In the meantime, he’d put all of his effort into finding a sperm donor and getting on track for his reassignment surgery. He had plenty to keep him busy.

  ~ ~ ~

  By Wednesday, the news about Lynn disappearing had spread through the family. April tried to focus on what it might mean for her sister if she didn’t get the surgery. Faye didn’t think she’d follow through from the beginning.

  “What’d you expect? She’s a lunatic,” Faye said.

  “Maybe if you would say something positive about her,” April replied from her side of the glass partition, “Lynn would be able to break out of her old habits.”

  “Like you and me? Ha! Nice try, April. Our family is so fucked up, no amount of positive thinking is going to help us,” Faye said.

  Beth commiserated with John, but reiterated that he needed to move out regardless of what his sister was doing. “We can stay here at the beach all summer if need be, but you need to find a place of your own.”

  Vicky was resigned. “I didn’t think she’d go through with it unless they nabbed her right away,” she said. “I’m afraid my niece’s mental illness may be the death of her.”

  Alice was appalled, but she let it go. She couldn’t argue with Vicky, because in spite of fighting it, she felt the same way. Her daughter couldn’t go on living on the streets without shortening her life, yet they were powerless to stop her.

  The farming Bradshaws were cavalier about it, saying things to their church family which got back to Faye. “I always knew she was off her rocker,” and, “I could’ve told you she’d end up like this.” No one from the family called Alice to offer their help or prayers. As a matter of fact, all her children seemed to have gone underground that week.

  After Dave left, Alice gave an audible sigh of relief, happy to be alone at last. While he was there, she tried to stay on her best behavior, and it was exhausting. She was worried sick about April being imprisoned, yet when she called Faye, Faye told her there was nothing that could be done about it; April was going to stay right in jail until her trial. Her blood alcohol had become a public issue, and the debates were continuous and not in her favor.

  Alice was glad she didn’t have a car, and Faye wasn’t offering to drive her to see the boys. No one knew Bonnie moved in with Todd, thinking his sister was caring for the boys. It would seem that things were in limbo for the time being, a few days where nothing could get worse. And then it did. Thursday morning, John got the call he dreaded. Lynn’s body was found floating in marsh grass where the Christiana River flowed into Delaware Bay. They needed next of kin to come down to identify her body. John decided he would do it without involving Alice. She’d have plenty of time to see Lynn at the funeral.

  Chapter 31

  Bill Visiglio looked forward to the summer, and a year later, after all they’d been through, he was even more excited about it. Business was never better; Bill Junior returned home in June after a stressful nine months as a freshman away at college, longing for the very first time to work with his father. Bill was thrilled. The other children were growing up quickly; Mario at almost ten was finally out of the little-boy stage and had let go of Faye’s apron
strings. One of the first things Bill requested before moving back into the house with her was that she allow the kid some space. Bill knew it wasn’t easy for her; Mario would be their last child. His three daughters were beauties; the biggest plus about Faye and Bill’s reconciliation was the stable family unit they could provide for those girls. Bill already smelled a rat in the boys they wanted to date. He ran a tight ship, and they seemed to thrive in it.

  They were hosting a Memorial Day picnic for Faye’s family. Vinnie wasn’t invited; neither was Paul, nor Shelly Oaks. It was just for Bradshaws. Faye was preparing as much of the food as she could ahead of time. Her kitchen was made for parties like this, and the fear of losing it to divorce had been a real, driving force. Everything was good and positive now. She was acting the appreciative wife, mother and daughter, as she should be.

  ~ ~ ~

  April walked to the local park with the boys. She was babysitting Bonnie’s baby, Todd, now a two-year-old, while Bonnie worked. They’d arranged the perfect work schedule; April worked at the library in the morning and Bonnie sat for her, and then in the afternoon, April took over. Todd came home from work and played daddy in the evening so April could go to a string of mandatory, nightly AA meetings. It was the condition of her release; she’d been found guilty of vehicular homicide while under the influence of alcohol, but her sentence was time served. She lost her driver’s license, had to submit to monthly blood tests, weekly meetings with a therapist who evaluated her AA schedule, and lived with the never-ending grief that her impairment had caused the death of her child.

  Todd divorced her, but she was okay with it. Their relationship was made tolerable by her alcohol consumption; she could feel the relief when the final papers came through. She wouldn’t have to do penance for the rest of her life although her kids may demand it, and she would be ready to give it to them. It was just a fluke that she got along with Bonnie. They weren’t best friends, but they supported each other, both raising Todd’s children alone.

  ~ ~ ~

  John was working at a hospital in Philadelphia, free to leave Wilmington since his big sister no longer roamed the streets. He and Beth were back together for the time being. Brian forgave John for his neglectful parenting. But as sometimes happens, John was unable to remain faithful to Beth, starting an affair with a young nurse from Haiti who worked in the recovery room. The staff knew about it, and it was a novelty, providing new gossip.

  Beth suspected it, but looked the other way, for now. She would go with John and the children to the ridiculous party Faye and Bill were having, which was nothing more than a vehicle to show off their wealth. But she was fond of John’s family and knew that Alice was going through hell since Lynn’s death the year before. She’d aged visibly since the funeral.

  Dave was there for Alice, but he had evolved into a huge problem for Beth. John had donated sperm for Dave’s baby without consulting Beth. His excuse was that they weren’t living together at the time. “This baby with be your children’s sibling. Did you think of that?” Beth was disgusted with the entire situation. “How’d you accomplish it? Did you fuck him? Her?”

  “No, for God’s sake! We went to the clinic. Or she did. I did what I had to do out in the car. I’m glad I didn’t get caught,” John explained.

  But Beth didn’t think it was funny. She could tell when she spoke to Alice that she wasn’t completely with the program, either. How was this going to work?

  “If Alice breaks it up, you’re still going to have a kid with him. Did you think of that? How fucking selfish can you be?”

  John didn’t see it that way.

  “Oh, of course you don’t. The great and generous John, always putting others before himself.” Beth left the room, realizing she’d made the decision to let him move back with the family without knowing all the facts. Dave was due in August, and the sight of him walking around Alice’s tiny house obviously pregnant, but trying for the man thing, was too much for Beth. She’d exploded the last time she was there and hadn’t seen Alice since.

  “What’s wrong, Beth?” Dave had asked. “It won’t affect your life at all. It was my understanding that you were trying to divorce John.”

  “Ah, yeah! Our marriage was in deep shit just because of this sort of disrespect. This baby is my stepchild! Did you ever think of that? It’s the kids’ half sibling. So if you aren’t thinking about me, why not give them a thought or two? Everyone is bending over backwards to make something happen for you, Dave, but not thinking of the ramifications. What happens if you two break up?”

  Alice grimaced. She’d thought the same thing. “If that happens and John wants to be involved, he’ll have to get a lawyer, I guess,” Alice admitted.

  “Well, that’s just fucking great,” Beth replied. “If John wants to be involved. Am I the only one who thinks that shouldn’t be negotiable? John is involved. It’s his DNA. There’s a huge chance the baby will have red hair; did you think of that, Alice? It’s your grandchild!”

  She walked out of the moldy house, happy to be in the fresh air again. “That place has always been stinky,” she said out loud as she got into her car. She looked up and realized Alice was standing on the porch, looking forlorn. Well, it couldn’t be helped. She was just as stupid as everyone else. No wonder John did the dumb thing; he was sprung from the loins of an asshole.

  Looking to Memorial Day now as a way to see Alice and try to say she was sorry, Beth wanted her forgiveness, but didn’t see how her marriage would survive the birth of the baby. She wasn’t able to condone what John did, so how could she forgive him? It was so twisted.

  She tried to put it out of her mind, along with her concerns that John was messing around again. The previous Christmas when they’d gone to the OR holiday party, a young black woman kept flashing her eyes at John and then would give Beth a look of…something she couldn’t define.

  “Looks like Jemma Kane’s gotta problem,” Kathy, one the wives whispered to Beth.

  She glanced up, and there was that look again. “What’s it all about?” Beth asked. “She’s been doing it all night. I’m starting to get paranoid.”

  “Got me, but she’s giving me the creeps. Where’s our husbands?” She spotted them talking in the corner and grabbed Beth’s arm, pulling her along.

  “Jemma Kane’s giving Beth the evil eye,” Kathy announced to the group.

  John straightened up and put his arm around Beth, drawing her closer to the wall as his coworkers tried to keep neutral expressions on their faces. Beth was taken aback by his protective gesture. Was John having an affair with Jemma Kane?

  She closed her eyes to think back to that night. The others in the group were snickering, seeming to share a joke that she wasn’t part of. It was not unusual; although she was a nurse, she didn’t work in an OR and had no idea of the intensity of that milieu. The people worked together in real time, life and death situations, and there was an unspoken trust that had to exist in order for the team to really work. Beth was sure the atmosphere would lead to an intimacy that didn’t exist in other departments. John was so emotional; she wouldn’t put it past him to have latched on to another woman at the new hospital just so he felt secure. That had to be it. Once she figured it out, her reaction surprised her. She was neither angry nor sad. She was free! She’d get through Faye’s party for the sake of Alice and the children, but the following week, she’d tell John her suspicions and ask him to leave.

  ~ ~ ~

  The morning of the party, Alice puttered around her kitchen, fixing a tray of fruit and cookies Faye’d asked her to bring. Alice didn’t think her daughter would trust her with anything more elaborate, but that was okay! She was happy it wasn’t something that took more effort. She could hear Dave moving around the bedroom; he’d had a horrible night, complaining that his back was killing him. Alice was worried about kidney stones; he confessed to having them in the past. He came out with his hands on the small of his back, stretching.

  “Still bothering you?” she
asked, although it was obvious he was miserable.

  “Yes, I think it’s worse. Maybe I need to eat something,” he said, standing over Alice.

  She pulled a small bunch of grapes from the tray. “Go sit down,” she commanded. “Maybe we better not go to Faye’s.”

  “Hell we won’t,” Dave said. “I want to see your wonderful family one more time before this baby comes.”

  Alice chuckled. Dave could be a real bitch. She really did love him. She couldn’t have planned such a unique relationship, or desired it. She thought no one in their right mind, at least no heterosexual person, would do such a thing, purposely seek out and then fall in love with someone of the same sex who wanted to live the life of the opposite. It was an aberration. At least her daughter Faye thought it was. Vicky was starting to forget its weirdness. At first, she’d examined every detail of their relationship, sure there was something hidden in Alice’s psyche that needed the drama.

  “Are you crazy?” Vicky had asked. “Do you really want to start another family? I would think at this stage of the game you’d be ready to do something fun.”

  “April’s been gone since she left for college, Vicky. That’s,” she’d counted on her fingers, “eighteen years ago. I’ve been alone all that time. So, no, maybe it isn’t the perfect scenario for me, but it’s what I’ve been given. It’s not exactly like men are beating a path to my door. I want to be with Dave, and he wants his own family. So that’s my compromise.”

  Vicky had rolled her eyeballs, but not so Alice could see.

  “There!” Vicky had said, pointing her finger at Alice. “It’s the path of least resistance! You’re settling because no one else has come around. You never tried, Alice! You said John offered to put you on a dating service. What if there is a wonderful man out there, your soul-mate, waiting for you.”

  While she was getting ready for Faye’s party, Alice thought of that sensation she got when Dave smiled at her. It literally tugged at her heart; she could feel it in her chest. She’d grown used to defending their relationship. She looked over at Dave sitting at the table, reading the paper.