How to Start Living (in the Zombie Apocalypse)

by T. L. Walker

  Before Luke could move, Richard stepped towards him and grabbed hold of his arm. The vet peered down at it, and though Luke’s muscles were tense and he was clearly resisting, it was obvious that Richard was stronger than he looked.

  I guessed you’d have to be, to work with certain zoo animals.

  It was only a matter of seconds before Richard let go of Luke’s arm."The only thing we can do now is take it off here –"he jabbed at a spot just above the elbow –"and hope that’s good enough."

  "Or take off the whole damn thing, knowing it’s likely neither option will actually work? No thanks."

  My sentiments exactly, I thought, but this wasn’t me, this was Luke. He’d let us chop off fingers in hopes of preserving his life; that was more than I think I would have ever allowed."We need to do something," I said, more than a little bit aware of how desperate I sounded.

  Luke looked over his shoulder and shook his head in disbelief."What about tomorrow? You’ll need me. You know you will."He faced Richard again, and I saw the vet’s face fall, as if he knew what Luke was about to say."They already know I’m here. How will you explain it if I’m locked away with a stump for an arm just hours after they saw me moving around the zoo? Best-case scenario, we look weak. Worst-case scenario, we look weak and stupid. You can’t do this."

  I couldn’t help but shudder. He hadn’t said"You can’t do this right now" – and I could tell by the way he was standing, facing off with Richard, every part of his body ready to spring into action – that he would never agree to us removing his arm. Or even part of it.

  Richard finally spoke up."If you won’t sign off on an amputation like that, I can’t do it anyway." He kept his eyes on Luke, and I knew that it was because he couldn’t look at me. If Luke had been unconscious, Richard would have taken his arm off at my order...but Luke had said exactly what he needed to say. Richard’s main priority would always be protecting his people and probably even his animals, and right now, to do that properly, he needed Luke in one piece.

  "What are you going to do about the fact that you are getting worse by the hour?"I snapped, forcing the two men to recognize my existence."We’ll be lucky if they don’t take one look at you and see that you’re...that you’re..."

  But I couldn’t finish. The truth was, I didn’t know what to say. Luke’s eyes met mine, but I found that I couldn’t hold his gaze. I jerked my head down and growled,"I hope you can figure out a way to make him presentable, Richard."

  And with that, I stalked out of the room, Holden on my heels.

  We’d already left the door unguarded for far too long.

  Sometimes the worst enemy comes from within.

  Chapter 10

  Off Script

  The tops of the trees across the way were brightening with the rising sun when I heard the door open and then close off to my left. I kept staring straight ahead, though I could see Richard in my peripheral vision.

  "I’ve been keeping an eye on him. I gave him some more medicine and he fell asleep almost right away. I woke him not that long ago and re-bandaged his arm. Tried to...clean things up a bit."

  "And cover the evidence?"

  Richard shifted his weight from one leg to another."Yes. Right up to the elbow, just...just in case."

  I couldn’t help it; I turned around slowly and peered up at him, smirking with the knowledge at how stupid all of this was."I guess we have to hope that Jia and her people aren’t observant enough to see that half his arm is wrapped up, now. You know, when it wasn’t earlier."

  "Stop it, Charlie."Richard’s tone chilled me. He spoke the words quietly but firmly, an order I would not be allowed to refuse. Still I felt myself opening my mouth to speak, but before I could formulate a proper retort – something damned unusual for me, especially these days – he continued,"Luke is alive, and he’ll remain so for...well, it will be long enough. I could have taken his arm against his will, and there’s a very good chance he would have died on that operating table. I’m a vet at a zoo, not a surgeon. I’ve performed duties beyond the norm from time to time, but I’ve never amputated a limb. Not even on an animal."

  "There’s a chance we could have convinced him. Together," I hissed. I felt Holden bump my leg with his head and wished that something so simple would make me feel better. It used to, but not anymore. Not now that everything had changed, anyway.

  "No, there’s not." Richard’s words had a finality to them that I hadn’t been expecting, and suddenly I understood that Luke had told Richard things. That at this moment in time, Richard knew more than I did about the man I loved.

  I covered my face with my hands. I couldn’t bring myself to continue arguing with him – in that moment, I felt more defeated than anything else."Then we just go on with the plan? Can he even handle that?"

  "As long as they don’t stay here past the end of the day – or longer – he’ll be fine. I can give him a bit of a boost right before they arrive...whenever that is."

  "She didn’t give a specific time."I cursed myself for not insisting on that, for not even thinking to ask, if I was honest with myself."I’d guess soon – full dawn, I mean – or if she’s dramatic, high noon."

  "Do you know if they went back to the school yesterday?"

  I shrugged."No clue. We were all a bit too busy to attempt some sort of reconnaissance mission, weren’t we?"

  "Think about what I’m saying, Charlie. If they went back to the school – which I presume they must have, not knowing what they’d find here or what to bring with them yesterday – they wouldn’t turn around and march right back. Noon, I think."

  "Dramatic," I spat.

  "What did Mike say?"

  I realized just then that I hadn’t even thought to ask Mike what time he thought she would arrive. He’s the one person who knew Jia before. I looked up; this time, it was Richard who was smirking.

  "Fine. Your turn to keep watch while I go talk to Mike."

  As I headed back inside, clenching my fists in frustration and anger, I kept telling myself that Richard could have asked Mike himself. I almost convinced myself that he’d already done so, until I realized that Mike wouldn’t have confided something like that to anyone other than myself or Luke. Possibly Daniel or Lauren, but even that was unlikely. Holden gave a soft whine and I bent to run my hand down his back, trying to reassure both of us.

  Mike was right where I’d left him, though he was no longer asleep."What happened?"

  Apparently we hadn’t been as quiet as I thought. Part of me wanted to hold back, to not reveal how bad things really were, but one look at his face told me that would never suffice. I jerked my head toward the door – somehow, the others were still sleeping – and he followed me out into the hall.

  "It’s Luke,"I admitted."The infection is spreading. He won’t let us take care of it because of...because of this thing with Jia."

  Mike turned his head away."I’m sorry," he mumbled.

  "No, I’m sorry. For what I’m about to ask, even though I have to ask it. It’s dawn. When will Jia show up? Now? Or..." I trailed off, somehow knowing that it would be best to let him answer without being led into doing so.

  "After what I saw yesterday...I’m sure she left people nearby, but I think she must have gone back to the school. And if not now – if not dawn – I think maybe she’d try for as close to noon as she can make it."He paused, biting his lip for a moment before concluding,"If she’s not the person she used to be...and I don’t think she is...then yeah, it will be noon."

  I nodded."Dramatic." I don’t know why I couldn’t let go of that word, why I so badly needed someone to agree with me.

  "A bit, yeah. And she’ll probably think we expect her now, that after waiting a few hours we’ll let our guard down."

  "I don’t know how long Luke can make it, how long he can fake being okay." Why am I telling him this? Him of all people...

  "He can. He will. He’s Luke."

  My first thought was, But for how much longer? Except this time I stopped
myself from voicing that particular concern.

  "Charlie?"

  I re-focused on Mike, only then realizing that I’d completely zoned out."Yeah, Mike, sorry. Just...worried."

  The one thing I couldn’t do was lie and tell him that I was only worried about today.

  "You should rest. Or try to,"Mike corrected himself."Richard or I can take the watch. I’ll go talk to him."

  "I think I need to talk to Luke. Take Holden with you, at least. And if you need me..."

  Mike stared at me for a long moment, then finally nodded."Okay. C’mon, Holden." I waited until I saw him and my dog slip outside, then steeled myself and headed for the clean room. See, dumbass? You’ve never even thought of it as an operating room.

  I could hear Luke snoring as I let myself in. This now-familiar noise was softer than it had been earlier, and I was relieved when, even after listening for nearly a minute, his breath didn’t hitch the way it had when we were outside.

  Maybe something Richard did actually bought us more time. I allowed myself that moment of hope, knowing that it had to be a brief one. I doubted there was any such thing as giving Luke enough time to rest – I knew how things were going to turn out, with him.

  I think I’d always known I’d lose him. One way or another.

  I didn’t bother turning on any lights as I approached Luke’s side was the dark. I doubted that the strangely bright glow of the emergency lamps would do either of us any good, so instead I settled myself on the bed next to him and reached through the darkness, placing my hand on his shoulder and squeezing lightly."Luke. It’s Charlie. Can we..."I stopped myself."No. We shouldtalk."

  Luke had stopped snoring almost the second I’d touched him. I pulled my hand back and waited until he cleared his throat and replied,"Yeah. We should."

  "About what’s going to happen today. About what to do if you can’t handle the meeting with Jia. She won’t be here for hours."

  "It’s not morning yet?" Luke sounded confused. Too confused.

  "Well, yeah, it’s dawn. But she’s not here. I talked to Richard and Mike...we all agree she won’t be back until noon. We should send a couple people out to the front gate soon...me, and at least one other person who’s already been seen. But not Mike. I’d rather she not have any more chance to recognize him than she already has."

  "Or will," Luke reminded me.

  "Right. And you’re not going either, so I guess it should be Virginia. She was the last person at the gate before those kids revealed themselves...they must have seen her, must have been watching us long enough for that."

  "They’ve probably seen Richard, too, you know."

  "Probably."

  I may have agreed with him, but Luke knew what I was really saying. That between Virginia and Richard, the latter was far less expendable.

  These were the decisions we had to make, now.

  "It should be me, Charlie."

  "Not anymore, Luke."Those words were weighted ones, too."Go back to sleep, if you can. Save your strength, and all that,"I said, knowing that unless he got up and moved around it would only be a matter of minutes before he was basically unconscious."Richard will know when to wake you." I felt for his head and gave him a kiss on top of it, then stood and shuffled back in the general direction of the door.

  "Charlie?"

  I paused my search for the exit, but didn’t respond.

  "Charlie, you know that I’m not just giving up. I don’t want to die...or worse, be one of those things. But if I was missing an entire arm, I’d be nothing more than a burden to everyone. Especially you. I can’t let that happen. I know you wouldn’t, either, if you were in my shoes."

  "You don’t know that." I began moving my hand along the wall again; mercifully, I found the seam of the door almost immediately, fast enough so that I was opening it before Luke could reply, trying to tell myself that I didn’t care whether he even would have said anything at all.

  Richard was outside where I’d left him."I’m headed to the front soon. I need Virginia to come with me. She was the last person guarding the gate before we met our new little friends, and I don’t want them to know about all of us if we can help it."

  "You think you’re going to be able to hide people, too?" he asked, incredulous.

  "Just Lauren and Mabel. I don’t think there’s any way Jia or her people could have caught sight of them. If they did, and call us out on it...well, I’ll think of something."

  "You’ll think of something?"Richard spat."Are you –"

  I held up my hand and shook my head."Having a child in our group is a weakness, and it’s one I don’t doubt they’ll exploit if they find out. So I’m going to do my best to keep that from happening. Oh, and tell Mike to shut Holden up, too. Not with Lauren and Mabel, though."

  "Where do you propose they go?"

  "I’ll leave that to you and Ethan. Listen, I trust you guys, okay? Please trust meon this."

  Richard glared at me."You may be crazy, but you’re no idiot. You know this is a bad idea."

  I shrugged."It’s all I’ve got. Can I at least trust you guys to find them a safe place to stay? And I hope I don’t have to clarify that it can’t be anywhere near the supplies."

  The vet’s face turned bright red, and I could tell that not one part of him wanted to follow my order – but I wasn’t going to back down."I can’t promise anything. You better hope Ethan knows of somewhere safe. Those places are few and far between..."

  For a moment I thought that perhaps he was going to finish his thought, but instead Richard gave me a curt nod and stalked away. These days. Few and far between these days, I thought.

  Virginia appeared less than ten minutes later."You okay with this?" I asked before she could get a word in edgewise.

  She gave me a look that was something close to sly."I was just getting myself ready, darlin’," she said, speaking quietly enough that no one hiding even just outside the fences could have heard her. Her face remained completely stoic, but there was steel in her tone.

  I was surprised to find my mouth quirking into a smile as I gave a simple nod in response, then turned and gestured for her to follow me down the path. Virginia showed me her watch; it was still early, just past seven.

  We had a long wait stretching in front of us.

  Once we reached the front gate, we made ourselves comfortable on the rock fence that bordered the tree line directly across from it. I’d been worried that Virginia would have trouble sitting in silence when that was all I could stand at the moment, but she sat and stared straight ahead with me and never uttered a word.

  I was surprised to find that it was Joey, not Luke, who came to mind that morning. I suppose that part of me was still in denial about how dire Luke’s situation was, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what Joey would be doing if he were still here. If he were still here. I felt a tightening in the back of my throat but refused to let the thought – the feeling – take hold.

  The sun crept slowly upward, the air growing hot and heavy, which is what finally prompted Virginia to speak."It’s going to rain later," she murmured.

  I nodded. I knew this weather. It was only a question of whether it would happen this afternoon or something this evening...and whether or not Jia and her people would still be here when it did.

  "Is that good or bad, you think?"

  I shrugged. There was no way of knowing.

  Virginia didn’t speak again, though eventually she held out her wrist and pointed to her watch, which read ten minutes to noon. The thing probably hadn’t been exact in ages, but the sun was high in the sky and I wanted to greet Jia on my feet. I searched for some part of me that was scared, but found nothing. I was entirely aware that this wasn’t a good thing, not really, but at the very least it might make this child despot uncomfortable.

  Shit, it made me uncomfortable. But I shook that feeling off, too. I stood up and approached the gate, already understanding that Virginia would follow my lead. Somehow I had requested the perfect partner f
or this particular situation – almost against all odds, if I was honest with myself.

  We continued our vigil just feet from the gate, but we didn’t have to wait long. As soon as I heard them – which, thanks to the midday silence, was before I saw them – I glanced down at Virginia’s watch. With a small margin of error, Jia was right on time...and as she approached, I silently reminded myself to thank Mike for his input, while at the same time wondering what the hell these kids planned to trade with us when they didn’t seem to be carrying anything other than some basic necessities.

  I made certain that it was me who spoke first."You’ll need to leave your weapons here. One of your people can stay to watch over them – Virginia will stay, too."I nodded toward the older woman, and she mustered a kindly smile, something she hadn’t done when she’d met me at the gate not that long ago. But I knew what that smile meant – she was giving them the good ol’ Southern ‘fuck you’ – just without saying the words,"Bless your heart. "

  Jia cocked her head."And what about yourweapons?"

  Deep down, I’d known she wouldn’t give in immediately. I tried to hide my reluctance."I’ll leave mine here as well. We’ve gathered the rest up with everything else. I made sure that the only arms my people kept on their persons are short-range ones. You never know when a zed might turn up."

  Fuck. It was silly, maybe, to be angry with myself for letting that term – ourterm – slip out, but I couldn’t ignore the bemused look on Jia’s face."Zeds? Interesting."

  I shrugged, trying to appear more nonchalant than I felt."Have to call them something."

  "I suppose one does." Jia continued to smirk, but I refused to ask what she called them.

  "Do you agree to leave your weapons here or not? It’s the same deal I was given when I first came through those gates. Trust me, you want to take it."

  The girl stared at me for several long moments, and I knew that she was trying to figure me out, trying to decide if I posed any threat. Maybe she wondered whether I had some master plan to shoot them all down the moment they started surrendering their guns.