Feel Like Makin' Love (Rock and Roll Trilogy #3)

by Stewart, Barbara

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends

  Mm I get high with a little help from my friends

  Mm going to try with a little help from my friends

  All of the performers gathered backstage, and it was chaotic. Finally, Andy asked, “Where’s Geni?”

  No one knew.

  “She must have gone to the suite with Carlee,” Dina said. “I walked over to talk to Roddy, and when I came back she was walking away.”

  ~ ~ ~

  “I had so much fun tonight,” Kyliejo said at the end of the evening. Carlee watched her, noticing how tired and drawn she appeared.

  “Well, superstar, we need to get you back to Royal so you can get some rest. I’ll be by tomorrow to see you and talk about this fabulous evening!” Carlee said. Hatchet and Tamara were getting things ready as they were waiting on transport.

  “She’s ‘bout out of steam tonight,” Hatchet whispered in her ear as she hugged Carlee.

  As they were leaving, Johanna leaned into Carlee, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you for making this so special,” and as she said the words, “she will remember this forever,” Carlee saw the tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “I love her,” Carlee whispered, wiping away her own tears.

  As they headed for the door, Kyliejo said, “Stop. I need Carlee.”

  Carlee went to the side of the bed, where the little girl motioned for her to come closer. “I love you.”

  “I love you right back.”

  After they were gone, Carlee needed a moment to regroup. She knew everyone was waiting for them, but she needed to sit a minute. She started to cry, and Matthew saw Kimmy, the only mother that Carlee had really ever known, move to sit beside her, followed by Marissa and Jenna. There were lots of hugs as Matthew watched. Lane and Maxx joined him and Lane told Matthew, “She’s just special, always has been.”

  “I only met her once, and I feel like I’ve known her a lifetime – such a heart, that one” Paul added.

  Finally, Carlee rose and reached for Matthew’s hand, and the group was ready to head backstage.

  ~ ~ ~

  Backstage, there was much excitement, talk, and laughter as the group joined the band backstage.

  As she reached Andy, she told him how excited Kyliejo was. “She’s tired, but she loved all of it! She was so happy, Papa. Johanna too! Thank you for all of this!”

  “And you shoulda seen Hatchet and Tamara!” Matthew said. “They had a blast!”

  “Hey y’all! I wanted to wait until everyone was here,” Addy shouted, “Have you met my fiancé?”

  Everyone looked around.

  “Chester’s here?” Carlee asked.

  “Chester who?” she said with a wicked laugh. “Chester wasn’t the right one, and I didn’t know that Mr. Right for me was right there all along.

  Andy looked around but only saw Marco, and as he looked, he saw a big grin creep across his face.

  “What?” Andy laughed, “Get out!”

  “No way!” Carlee shouted.

  “Yes, way,” Marco laughed. “While the boss was away… We’ve shared so many conversations over the years but timing was never right, I guess. When she came in telling me she cut Chester loose, we went out to dinner – one thing led to another, and well, we realized that what we felt was more than friendship.”

  Everyone was sharing in the joy of the moment, and Andy realized that he’d been distracted. He noticed that Geni hadn’t returned with Carlee and Matthew.

  “Where’s Geni?” he asked.

  “She was back here with you,” Matthew said looking around to Dina, and suddenly the room was quiet.

  “She left backstage a while ago; I thought she went to the suite to join you,” Dina replied.

  Andy dialed her number, and it went to voicemail. “Where are you? Call me.”

  He dialed again a minute later. No answer. “I gotta go!” he said abruptly and turned away from the others.

  “Wait, Papa. I’ll go with you,” Carlee said. Matthew followed, as Andy led them to a waiting car.

  He made a call and shouted back to the others, “There’s another car arriving in about ten minutes. I gotta go.”

  There was quiet, wonder, and worry among the others as they walked away.

  Finally, Kimmy said. “We should give them a few minutes to find out what’s going on before we invade their space. Let’s go to the bar at the hotel and have a drink and give them some time.”

  ~ ~ ~

  When they reached the flat, no one was there. Andy went to the bedroom and saw the imprint of a bag on the bed. He jerked the drawer to the dresser open and found her passport missing. He whipped the phone out again and dialed her number.

  Carlee heard him shout, “Where in the hell are you?!” He walked to the living room where Carlee and Matthew waited, yelling, “Her passport is gone!”

  “What? Why, Papa?” Carlee asked, bewildered.

  “I have no fucking idea!” He dialed her number once more, and when there was no answer, dialed Thomas. He didn’t care what time it was. “Where’s your mother?” he demanded.

  “She probably just left the tarmac at Heathrow for home. What in the hell is going on?” Thomas responded in the same tone.

  “I have no friggin’ clue. She was there and then she wasn’t. Just vanished. No one knew,” Andy replied in short barks.

  Matthew and Carlee sat on the sofa, anxiously waiting to find out what was going on.

  “Did you quarrel?” Thomas asked.

  “No! We didn’t talk. I told you, she was there and then she wasn’t. Came home and her goddamn passport was gone. What in the hell did she say when she called you?”

  “That she’d land around five and for me to pick her up. That’s all. I didn’t ask; she didn’t sound like she was ready to talk.”

  ~ ~ ~

  After he hung up, he paced, dragging his hand through his hair, his face reddened, and finally he went to the other room. Carlee heard him on the phone but couldn’t make out what he was saying.

  “Matthew, what is going on?” she asked, tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “I don’t know.”

  Andy exited the room with a bag. “I gotta go. The driver will be here in about ten minutes.

  “Where are you going?” Carlee asked standing in front of him sobbing.

  “I’ll call you later. I love you.”

  “But…”

  “Carlee, I gotta go. I have to clear my head. I’ll call you,” he said and was out the door.

  And she knew. He was going to the cottage.

  ~ ~ ~

  Matthew locked up, and they made the way to their flat as the car arrived with their friends and family. They all went to the flat, and it was quiet for a while, none of them quite knowing what to say.

  Finally it was Carlee who broke the ice. “Here’s the thing - I don’t want this to be uncomfortable, so let’s just get this over with. This is what I know – Geni is on her way to the U.S. – we’re not sure why. Papa has gone off to clear his head - I suspect the island, but I’m not sure. That’s it. That’s all I know.”

  Matthew poured wine for everyone and made an attempt to lighten the mood by talking about the concert.

  ~ ~ ~

  Finally, exhausted, Carlee told everyone she was ready for bed. Matthew went with her, telling the others he’d return in a few minutes.

  As she crawled in, she started crying again. “This is all my fault,” she said.

  “Carlee, why on earth would you think that?” he asked her.

  “I encouraged this.”

  “Listen to you,” he said kissing her tears away. He lay beside her and pulled her into his arms. “They’re grown people, and we don’t know what happened. It’s no one’s fault. I can’t even imagine what could be going through Mom’s head to make her act so impulsively. Jumping on a plane and running off is not the way of Genevieve Hall Davis. She’s coolheaded and refined. She doesn’t ‘run off.’ She fights. So this is a crazy som
ething, whatever it is.”

  They lay quietly until he realized she’d fallen asleep.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Wow,” Matthew said when he rejoined the others.

  “I guess,” Kimmy replied.

  “Any thoughts?” Matthew asked as they all looked at Kimmy.

  “Insecurity is the first thing that came to my mind.”

  “Not Geni Davis,” Matthew interrupted.

  “Did you hear the passion in his voice when he sang “Timeless?”” Jenna asked, and they all nodded.

  “You think she left over a song?”

  “No,” Kimmy said. “The passion from his heart over a song that she knew was one of Beth’s favorites.”

  “But…”

  “I know that every time he’s sung that song since Beth died, he was singing to her, here or not. And you saw the struggle. Close your eyes and do a mental play-back; you’ll see it too.”

  “Wow, Mom said they had to overcome some ‘ghosts.’”

  ~ ~ ~

  At two in the morning, with everyone finally gone, he dialed his mom’s number and left a message.

  “It’s me. I just wanted you to know I love you and remind you that things aren’t always what they seem. Call me when you get in.”

  Carlee stirred when he crawled into bed. “It was something to do with Addy,” Carlee said.

  “Why do you think that?”

  “When everyone was talking about it, Dina said she saw her walk away when Addy joined Papa on stage. Dina assumed she came to sit with us.”

  “They’ll figure it out, because you know, as well as I do, they love each other. You OK other than that?”

  “Yes, other than whatever that was with Papa and your mom, it was a glorious night, and I know she was tired, but Kyliejo loved it, especially when they said her name and the crowd roared. Johanna loved it too, but I think it was mostly because Kyliejo was so up. She’s really just looking tired, isn’t she?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I remember, sometimes, how things were when Mama passed away. I think it’s a gift she gives me, but I remember how tired she was in the end. I’m so glad she kept all those journals and tapes to tell me, in her words, how she was really feeling.”

  She started to cry, and Matthew held her close. “Do you know what next Sunday is?” he whispered in her ear.

  “The day before your holiday from University,” she teased.

  “It is that, but it’s also our anniversary. You feelin’ up to a celebration?”

  “It’s only been a year?” She sighed and said, “It seems a lifetime, the best, happiest, lifetime I’ve ever lived. Thank you for sharing it with me, especially these past few months. Yes, Matthew, let’s celebrate,” she said.

  “Good, because since you’ve been feeling so good, I’ve made plans, with Tamara’s approval,” he said, lightly caressing her back as he held her close.

  ~ ~ ~

  Thomas met Geni at the airport as she’d requested. When he hugged her, he told her, “You look like crap, Mom. What in the hell happened?”

  “I don’t know, maybe nothing, maybe everything…”

  She didn’t talk on the way home, mostly because she wasn’t sure where to begin, so she thought. As he pulled into the driveway to help her with her bag he told her, “Get some rest, I’ll call you later.”

  It was after nine when she got settled. She’d turned the ringer off in the terminal at Heathrow and hadn’t wanted to turn it back on. She knew there’d be messages. She fixed a cup of coffee and braced herself. It would be three in the afternoon in the U.K. She sat quietly with the phone in her lap. She had no idea what she would find when she played the messages, and she dreaded it. She heard the frantic and the angry messages wondering where she was, and then the message from Matthew. She sat quietly a minute, deciding to dial Andy’s number, when her phone rang.

  ~ ~ ~

  Andy waited for his flight in a private lounge. He was in Fort Lauderdale, waiting for his flight to Eleuthera. He’d called Shirley as he waited to board in London and asked her to get things ready for his arrival. While he waited, he dialed Geni once more, and when she answered, he exploded.

  “Why in the hell did you leave without talking to me?” he shouted the words.

  “I was scared,” she replied in a calm voice.

  “Scared of what, Geni?”

  “I saw you with Adaleigh.”

  “And?”

  “Andy, I’m too old for this…”

  “Too old for what, Geni?” he barked as he interrupted her and rose to pace.

  “Too old for jealousy when there is nothing to be jealous about? Too old to talk through something that’s wrong and check the fucking facts before you jump to conclusions and run away? I’m not gonna go through this again; I’m a different man than I was all those years ago! The thing is,” he corrected himself quickly, “Was, the thing was, maybe way back when with Bethy, that little bit of selfishness on my part liked that she was insecure! I’m not that man anymore! I realized too late that all she needed was a commitment from me! I made mistakes, Geni, but I am not that man anymore!” he yelled once again. He looked around the lounge, it was early, and no one else was there.

  She said nothing. It pissed him off more, so he continued. “I’ve been upfront and honest with you since day one, because I learned that with Carlee. It was like a rebirth to me. You know how I feel about you, how I feel about us. Now you know how I feel about this! When you come to terms with your goddamn insecurities, I’ll be waiting. You know how to reach me,” he said and hung up.

  ~ ~ ~

  She spent the remainder of the day thinking, rehashing the events of the evening, and by the time she got ready for bed, she was disappointed. She’d had no calls from anyone all day - not even anyone checking in. She didn’t sleep, she couldn’t stop all the thoughts that ran through her head, and there were many. She knew that she was in love with him, but when she saw Adaleigh hug Andy, she was jealous, and he was right - insecure.

  Tom had been the only man in her life who was important to her, aside from her father and her boys. She’d never had these feelings with anyone else, and it was different with Andy. Tom was an older man, quiet and reserved. Andy was neither of those things.

  Around two, she sat up in the bed, feeling exhausted. It had been a long twenty-four hours. Bringing her knees to her chest, she looked around. It was dark, but she knew the place of everything in that room. It had been almost exactly the same for forty years. As she looked, she didn’t feel Tom there. All she felt was the missing man in her life now – Andy.

  She walked down the hall to the room they had shared, and crawled into the bed. Still, sleep eluded her, but now it wasn’t the insecurities that kept her awake; it was the longing for that man to be beside her. And now she wondered how to mend what was broken.

  ~ ~ ~

  Shirley was there when Andy stepped off the plane; the two old friends hugged and started to the car. She knew there’d been turmoil. This is where he ran whenever there was. He hadn’t been there in a long time, but she saw his face, pained, dark, and drawn from lack of sleep.

  “Old friend, tell me what troubles you,” she said once they were in the car.

  “Thanks, Shirley; right now, all I want to think about is sleep. I’d love to share dinner with you later.”

  “Pigeon peas and rice, and I’ve already sent word that I need a fresh grouper.”

  He walked into the cottage and felt a flood of memories and sadness wash over him.

  He called Carlee, and she started crying. “Where are you?”

  “The cottage.”

  “You can’t fix this there, Papa.”

  “I need to clean some closets first. I’ll call you later. I just wanted you to know where I was. I love you.”

  Beyond tired, he fell into bed and slept.

  ~ ~ ~

  Shirley had dinner ready when he knocked on the door. “You look much better; the rest was good for you.”


  She poured them both a glass of wine and joined him at the table.

  “She’s not here.”

  “You are wrong,” he replied. “She’s everywhere here, everywhere, Shirley. I’m trying to figure out how to move past her.”

  “You don’t want to ‘move past her.’ You want to learn how to move on with her, or you wouldn’t be tore up over this woman you been a’sharin’ your time with. You run when you don’t know what to do.”

  “I know all that shit, Shirley. I know what I need to do. I need to find closure.”

  “Seventeen years isn’t long enough, my friend?” She put her fork down and pushed the meal aside. “She was the love of your life, I know that, but she’s gone, and she’s not coming back. And you’re gonna die a lonely old man.”

  “I know that! Dammit Shirley, no one knows that better than me!” he said in a loud angry voice, banging his hand on the table to make the point.

  She watched as anguish and pain spread across his face – saw the agony as his hand rubbed from his forehead into his hair. She felt her own body hurt with the torment she knew he felt.

  “I thought I was moving forward. I AM! I am!” Finally, in a softer voice he said it once more, “I am…”

  “You’re as wrong as she is,” she said.

  “What?” he barked.

  “Runnin’ off to this place when you should run off to wherever she is. Instead you’re sittin’ here at my table worrying everyone.”

  “Carlee called you?”

  “She’s worried.”

  Quiet for a moment, he told her, “I came here to clear my head. I’ve gotta take care of some things here. I gotta clean some cobwebs and closets.”

  “You leave your cleanin’ to me,” she said and reached out to pat his hand.

  “This time I can’t.”

  “So what you gon’ do?”

  “I don’t know just yet, but I know I’ll end up in Jacksonville.”