Saved by the Doctor

by Ivy Wonders

  “Yeah, she’s not very much like most moms.” My doorbell rang, and he looked over his shoulder. “That’s probably Dad.”

  “Oh?” It felt weird having Harman ring the doorbell like any other guest in my home. But it was a necessity if I was going to put space between us.

  I went to the door and opened it to find Harman standing there with a grim expression. “It’s cold. I thought I should come pick Eli up. So he doesn’t have to walk in the cold.”

  He should’ve known I would take the kid home. “Come in.”

  Moving awkwardly, he stepped inside. “You ready to go, Eli?”

  Eli’s eyes scanned us. “Why aren’t you two giving each other hugs and kisses?”

  Harman looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “Rebel hasn’t told you about your mother, Eli?”

  “Not that part.” I didn’t know how to talk to the boy about something so adult.

  “What about what Mom told you, Rebel?” Eli got up and came to the living room. The three of us stood there in a semi-circle, Eli and Harman wearing near-identical frowns. “I want to know why you and Dad aren’t acting right.”

  Harman looked to me to answer that. I had no choice. “So, your mom wants to spend more time with you and your dad. And she’d like it if I didn’t do as much with you two—so she can do things with you guys. Like a real family. I’m not your family, Eli.”

  Eli took my hand. “Rebel, don’t make me stop coming over ’cause of my mom. Please.” His pleading voice always got to me and denying him now was more difficult than ever before. “She won’t come around. You’ll see. She’s got other things to do.”

  “I know she’s had other things to do.” I looked a Harman, and all I got was a frown from him. “But she said she’s going to put you guys first. And I need to respect that.”

  Holding on to my leg, Eli looked up at me with pleading eyes now, too. “If she comes to get me or comes over to visit us, then I won’t come here. But if she’s not coming around, then please let me come over. I love the animals, and I love you, Rebel.”

  There was a catch in Eli’s voice that broke my heart. I stared down at this boy who I’d come to care for so much, at a loss for words. Harman cleared his throat, breaking the momentary silence. “So do I.”

  Eli looked at his dad, a more hopeful look on his face. “See, we both love you. Don’t make us leave you alone.”

  The way they looked at me made me feel as if I’d made a horrible decision. But when the two guys you love the most in the world have a chance at ultimate happiness, what’s a woman supposed to do? “Okay. If she doesn’t follow through with what she said she would, then things don’t have to change.” I looked at Harman, who finally had a smile on his face. I’d missed his smile. “But as far as dating goes, we should still chill on that, Harman,” I said in a quieter voice.

  “I don’t think so,” he said, reaching out to take my hands as Eli clung to my leg. “We love you.”

  “And I love you both, too.” I ran my hand over Eli’s head as I looked into Harman’s eyes. “I love you both so much that I would put what I want to the side to make sure you both have everything you want and need.”

  “We need you,” Eli wailed.

  And now I felt like I was hurting them. I never wanted to hurt anyone. But no matter what I did, someone would be hurting.

  Tara had said she thought she’d found love for Harman. Maybe he didn’t know that. Maybe he needed to know that—and not hear it from me. “Just promise me you’ll give her a chance if she comes to you guys.”

  “If you promise you won’t go nowhere, we will,” Eli said.

  I didn’t know if that was a promise I could make. If they welcome Tara back into their lives, I didn’t know if I could be around that—seeing all the love that I wished could be mine. And Harman knew I wouldn’t tell either of them a lie. “Little Buddy, if Rebel feels like she needs to give your mother a chance, then we need to let her do what she feels is right.”

  I nodded. “Thank you, Harman.”

  The grim expression had returned. “Even if we think she’s silly for what she’s doing, we have to allow Rebel to do what she feels is right in her heart. We have to do that because when you love someone, you let them do what they feel they have to do. Even if it hurts.”

  “But I don’t ever want to lose you, Rebel,” Eli whimpered.

  Running my hand over his head, I had no idea what the right thing to do was anymore. My boys were hurting, and I hated that more than I had ever hated anything.

  But giving them false promises felt wrong. So I told them the only thing I could. “For now, things will stay the same.” Only they wouldn’t be the same. I’d make sure to stay busy at work, leaving time for Tara to step in and take over the role that had always been hers.

  Harman took me into his arms. “This is the right thing to do, baby. Don’t leave us just because you think she’ll do what’s right. Even if she does, I’ll still want you in my life.”

  “Me, too,” Eli echoed. “Please, Rebel, never leave us.”

  I’d known it would be hard for me to take a step back, but I hadn’t realized just how much Eli and Harman would be affected by my choices. I knew they’d be upset, but I hadn’t known the depth of their need for me. And now that I knew their feelings matched my own, I didn’t know how I could stand back to see what Tara would do to these guys who held my heart.

  Was I hurting them just so that Tara could swoop in and hurt them all over again? She hadn’t ever taken care of either of them when she had the chance, so why let her have them now? Why let her neglect them any further? They didn’t deserve that.

  And neither did I.

  Chapter 21

  Harman

  When three days passed with no added effort from Tara—she still made her daily phone calls to Eli, but nothing more—I thought she’d had enough time to show whether she meant to follow through on what she’d told Rebel. Just as I’d thought, she really didn’t want more time with either of us. Tara just didn’t want anyone else in the picture.

  Well, this was one thing that Tara wasn’t going to get her way on.

  Even though Rebel had found things to keep her busy into the evenings, Eli and I still managed to spend an hour or so with her each day. Neither of us wanted Rebel to slip through our fingers. And I knew Rebel didn’t want that either. It was evident in the bright smile she couldn’t keep off her face when she saw us coming through her door.

  I planned to give it until the end of the week. If Tara hadn’t stepped up before that, then I was going to be the one to put my ex in her place. I was the one Tara should have come to in the first place, not Rebel. Eli and I weren’t her playthings to be kept on a shelf until she was ready to give us her attention.

  Eli and I rode home after I’d picked him up from school. I had no patients in the hospital to see, so I took off early to get him. When his cell rang, I listened in as he answered. “Hi, Mom.”

  He’d put the phone on speaker and laid it in his lap, so I heard Tara reply, “Hi, Eli. What’re your plans for today?”

  “Why?” he asked as he looked at me with surprise. “You coming to pick me up?”

  “Oh, not today,” she said quickly. “I’ve got a shipment coming in. I’ve got to be here. Maybe next week I can get you. If your father lets me.”

  Eli looked at me and I nodded. “He would let you get me.”

  “I’ll have to talk to him and see,” Tara said. “What have you guys been up to these last few days, Eli? Still feeding Rebel’s animals for her?”

  “Yes,” he said.

  It didn’t take a millisecond for Tara’s voice to turn shrill. “What? Didn’t she tell you that she didn’t need your help any longer?”

  Eli looked out the window with a frown on his face. “She did tell me that. But I begged her to let me keep helping. I love those animals, and I love helping. And I love her, too, Mom!”

  “That bitch!” she shouted.

  I pulled to t
he side of the road and picked up the phone, turning it off speaker. “Look, I don’t want you talking to Eli like that.”

  “So, you’re listening in on our private conversations now?” Tara asked, sounding hostile. “She and I had an agreement. I guess she didn’t tell you or Eli about it.”

  “You and I need to talk.” I was done with her trying to run the show. “I’ll meet you at that café down the street from your shop. I’m sure you can find the time to walk two doors over.”

  “I can’t,” she said.

  I wasn’t taking no for an answer. “You can and you will. I’m dropping Eli off at home, then heading that way. This ends today, Tara.”

  “No!” was all she got out before I ended the call and put the cell in my pocket.

  “For a little while, until I straighten things out, I’d rather you not talk to your mom, Little Buddy. She’s a bit mixed up right now.”

  “She sure is.” He looked at me with furrowed brows. “Why’d she call Rebel that bad word?”

  I knew why. But my kid didn’t need to be worried about the issues the adults in his life were dealing with. “She’s just got to get used to things is all. I’ll talk to her. We’ll work this out. You’ll see.” I wasn’t sure what we would work out. But I knew something had to be done.

  An hour later, I sat in the café waiting for Tara to arrive. Finally, she strolled in with one of her young employees at her side. For emotional support, I guessed. “Hi, Harman. This is Rachel. She’s in the mood for a mocha latte, and I told her she could come along with me.”

  I didn’t bother with niceties, “Rachel, my ex-wife and I have something important to discuss, and this meeting was intended to be private. So you’ll have to forgive my rudeness, but you’re not invited to sit in on this.”

  Ducking her head, she whispered, “Whoa, I’m outie.” Then she went right back out the door.

  Tara looked stunned as she watched her friend go. “Um, you don’t have to leave...”

  “Yes, she does.” I got up and took Tara by the arm, leading her to the booth bench across from where I’d been sitting. “We’ve got lots to talk about.”

  The waitress came over to the table. “What can I get you?” she asked Tara.

  “Nothing.” Tara looked up at her. “I won’t be staying long.”

  With a nod, the waitress left us, as I already had a cup of coffee in front of me. Finally alone, I got the ball rolling. “Rebel told me what you asked her to do. And I think it’s the most selfish thing you’ve ever done. You’ve paid very little attention to your son. Rebel is the first person to give him some, and you’re asking us to shut her out.”

  Her green eyes sparkled with anger as she ran a hand through her red hair. “She’s taking more than she has any right to.”

  “That’s not true at all.” I could see the jealousy radiating through my ex-wife, and it was time we got to the real issue. “You’re jealous.”

  “Of what?” She laughed as if that was ridiculous. “I’m his mother.” Her eyes narrowed at me. “You and I are his parents, Harman. She’s nothing to either of you. I’m his mother, and I’m the mother of your only child. That makes me more important to both of you than she should ever be. But you two seem to have forgotten that, haven’t you? I only asked her to do what was right—to step back and let me have my family back.”

  “You never even wanted us.” I laid it out there for her. “As soon as I had money, you saw your way out and took it. And you’ve never looked back. Not until we found someone else.”

  “It’s not right.” Her hands twisted on top of the table. “Harman, I’ve never been so lonely.”

  “You spoke to Rebel three days ago. You’ve had three days to spend time with your son, and you haven’t spent one minute with him.” I took a drink of my coffee to steady myself as anger filled me. “And what’s this crap about wanting me back, Tara. You haven’t mentioned anything like to me—ever. You never wanted me in the first place. I still try to wrap my head around why the hell you even pulled me into that bathroom that night.”

  “I wish I understood that myself, Harman.” She eyed me warily. “I really do. But I did it and I can’t take it back. Why can’t I make the most of it now? I can see things in you now that were never there before. Your smile is different now, and you have this glow about you. And it’s attractive. I’m only human. And you were mine. And I am the mother of your son. We share a connection you don’t have with her.”

  “And she and I share a connection I’ve never shared with you,” I let her know.

  The grimace on her face told me I’d hurt her. “Well, what you and I share is more important. We love our son, and we’d do anything for him—including putting love behind us to do what’s right for him. We did that for years; why can’t we go back to that?”

  She was right—that’s exactly what we’d done for so many years. We’d forgone love or even like to get married and provide a family for the baby we’d made. No matter how he’d come about, Eli was the glue that had always kept us together. “You left, Tara.”

  “I know I did.” She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Harman, I was a kid when I had Eli. I needed some time to live—to find out what I’d been missing. But I’m done with that now. It turns out I hadn’t been missing much. I just want to get back to being the family we were before.”

  “So, you had your fun, and it wasn’t as fun as you wanted it to be, so now you think I should just let you move back in?” I asked with bewilderment. “Into my home—and my bed, too?”

  “I know you don’t want me in your bed. Not yet.” She looked off to one side. “Maybe not ever, now that you’ve had her. But I want the chance to show you that I can make you happy. Let me be the wife and mother I was before things went wrong.”

  She hadn’t been that good at either of those things before. Why would I give her a chance to go back to that when I could have so much more?

  Because she’s Eli’s mother.

  I didn’t know what the right answer was anymore. If I had never met Rebel, I might have taken Tara back right there. But that doesn’t mean it would’ve been the right thing to do. “Why don’t we start with you being the mother you need to be to your son, Tara?”

  Her jaw set with that look that said she wanted things her way—and her way only. “Harman, you told me over and over again that I could come back home whenever I wanted to. And now that I’m telling you I want to come home, you won’t let me.”

  “You waited too long.” I picked up my coffee and took another drink. “And you haven’t done half of what you should’ve been doing in the meantime.”

  “I can’t be what you want me to be for Eli if I can’t live with him—and you.” She shook her head as she went on, “I don’t know how to parent without you, Harman. That’s why I haven’t taken Eli much. And having him at my place feels wrong.”

  “You’ve always had the opportunity to come to my place to spend time with him,” I reminded her. “You chose not to.”

  Pushing her hand through her hair, she said, “You can’t imagine how hard it was to be around you, Harman. You looked at me as if I’d ruined your life by leaving. And you thought I’d be able to be myself with you around? You’re crazy.”

  I thought she was the one who was acting crazy. “Tara, what do you want? Do you want me to drop the woman I love so that I can be your lackluster husband again?”

  When she nodded, I almost fell out of my chair. “Why not?”

  She hadn’t found what I had, so how could I blame her for asking such an insane thing? “Look, Tara, it might have taken me a long time to realize it, but you were right to leave me. What we had together was a hardly a life. I had no idea what I’d been missing, either. But then Rebel moved in, and I found it. And I’m not giving it up for you. Sorry, but I can’t do that.”

  Tara’s hands clenched tightly into fists. “She promised me she’d step back. She lied.”

  “She has stepped back as much as we’d let her.�
�� I’d been so relieved when Eli had fought just as hard against Rebel’s ridiculous concession to Tara’s request as I had. “Eli and I both love Rebel. And she loves us so much that she was willing to be selfless when she thought that she was standing in the way of our happiness. She made space—space she never needed to give in the first place—and you didn’t fill it.”

  “She didn’t give me enough time.” Tara shook her head. “She didn’t do what she said she would. You two are still around her every day. How am I supposed to compete with her? She’s got a career like yours. She’s got these animals that Eli adores. And what do I have? A boutique that neither of you cares about.”

  “But we do care about you, Tara.” I may not have loved the woman, but she was the mother of my son, and I would always have a place in my heart for her. “I want things to work out for all of us. I want you to feel comfortable in my home. I want you to feel comfortable around Rebel.”

  Shaking her head, she let me know, “That’s never going to happen, Harman. She has to go if you want me to stay.”

  Chapter 22

  Rebel

  With nothing else to do at work, the clinic director told me to go home and chill out a bit. She said it seemed like I had a lot on my mind, and she’d been right. I hadn’t realized how much it showed. So, on my way home, I stopped by the liquor store to get a bottle of Jack and some soda to mix it with.

  Come hell or high water I was going to chill out.

  Sipping on a relatively concentrated drink, I sat on my sofa and read a historical romance that promised me lots of steamy action. As I relaxed into the couch, I let the warmth of the fireplace lull me into a sense of security—even when I felt the most insecure I’d ever felt in my entire life.

  I hadn’t left the door as open as I’d promised Tara I would, and I knew there would have to be a confrontation about that sometime. With no idea when or how that would occur, I’d been walking around on pins and needles for the last few days.

  And then there was the idea that I would soon lose Harman and Eli. That didn’t feel good either. Not much felt good at this point. But sipping on the alcoholic beverage while basking in the glow of the fireplace—now that felt awesome.