by Banks, Maya
Then finally she nodded and whispered, “Got it.”
He kissed her forehead, feeling her tremble against him. “No, you don’t get it, baby. But you will. I promise you that.”
He tugged her into his apartment and let the elevator doors close behind them. She looked exhausted. Physically and emotionally. It was relatively early by his standards, but at the moment he couldn’t think of anything more he’d like to do than to take her to bed and let her sleep in his arms. He wanted her to feel protected. Safe. Most important, cherished. Like she mattered.
She didn’t have any experience in any of those. That much was evident in the painful retelling of her childhood and her adult years. He couldn’t change her past, but he could sure as hell change the present and alter the course of her future.
“Let’s go to bed. You’re wiped,” Jace said.
Her gaze skittered nervously up to his. Her eyes were wide in her face, giving her a haunted look. She really was too thin but her beauty . . . it shone like a beacon. There was something arresting about her eyes and her face. He couldn’t explain why he’d been so inexorably drawn to her that very first night he’d seen her across the room at Mia’s party. But he’d known even then that she was his.
“Baby, I’m not going to jump you,” Jace murmured.
He took her hands and rubbed his thumbs up the backs, working in soothing circles.
She swallowed and then nodded. “I’m tired.”
“You’re wiped,” he repeated.
Still holding her hand, he pulled her toward his bedroom and once there, he closed the door behind them. Then he turned and grasped the hem of her shirt and began tugging it over her head.
She clamped down an arm, her eyes flaring with alarm.
He waited a moment, staring intently into her eyes. “Baby, in that bed, there is nothing between us. No clothing, barriers, nothing. I said I wasn’t going to jump you, and that’s true. I won’t lie to you. But you aren’t wearing those clothes to bed. Besides the fact they don’t fit you worth a damn, anytime you sleep in my bed, you’re naked.”
“I’ll get cold,” she said with a frown.
He smiled at the quick excuse and her attempt to keep that barrier between them. She’d learn soon enough that he’d allow none between them.
“I’ll keep you warm.”
She bit her lip in consternation and then sighed, lowering her arm in a gesture of surrender.
“Remember,” he said softly. “You don’t come here beaten down and defeated. You hold your head up. You submitting to me doesn’t mean you’re anything less. I’m a demanding bastard. No doubt about that. But the very last thing I want is for you to be some mindless puppet.”
Confusion clouded her beautiful blue eyes. “I guess I don’t understand. Any of this. I’m confused, Jace. This is so . . . overwhelming.”
He kissed her nose and then slowly worked her shirt upward. “We have all the time in the world. I want you to trust me. As long as you can do that, everything will work out just fine. I’ll take care of you and I’ll never do anything to overwhelm you.”
“But I just said I’m overwhelmed!” she protested.
He grinned and tugged the shirt the rest of the way, baring her breasts—and the bruises—to his gaze.
“I just want you naked. Overwhelming would be if I was going to fuck you tonight. That’ll come tomorrow. Tonight is for you to adjust to being here.”
Her mouth fell open. “And you don’t consider that overwhelming?”
“Nope.”
“Evidently you and I have different opinions on what constitutes being overwhelming,” she muttered.
“Now that I like,” he said with satisfaction.
She lifted an eyebrow as he went to work on the fly of her jeans.
“You being sassy. You’ve got fire, Bethany. You haven’t lost that. You’re fucking perfect for me.”
“You’re crazy,” she muttered again. “Or maybe I’m crazy.”
“As long as we’re crazy together, I’m good with it.”
She threw up her hands as he worked the jeans down her legs. “You honestly do always get your way, don’t you?”
He smiled again and helped her step from her jeans. “I already told you that. Nothing worth having is ever easy, baby. And you don’t get things without fighting for them.” He leaned down and brushed his mouth across the bruise at her ribs. “Be warned. I’m fighting for you and I have no intention of losing.”
As he lifted his head, he saw hope flash again in her eyes and this time it stayed there. She stared up at him in awe, her entire body trembling. He could see that it was finally sinking in. That this was real and that he was deadly serious.
“Lose the underwear,” he said.
This time she didn’t offer any argument. There was only brief hesitation as she slipped her thumbs into the waistband of the silky scrap of material. A moment later, the panties fluttered to the floor and she toed them away.
“Get into bed and wait for me there,” he said in a soft but firm voice. “I’m going to shower and then join you. Get comfortable. And Bethany?”
She lifted her gaze to meet his in response to the address.
“Don’t try to go anywhere. I’ve locked the elevator and even if you managed to get to the lobby, they won’t let you leave here without me.”
“Am I a prisoner then?” she asked huskily.
He smiled. “Never that. But I’ll do what I have to in order to ensure your safety. Even if it means making sure you can’t leave while I’m in the shower. Now get into bed so you don’t get cold. I’ll adjust the heat.”
Leaving her standing there, he strode into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He purposely gave her the time to get into bed on her own and a few minutes to get over her nerves before he joined her.
Bethany was going to take a lot of patience—a lot more than he was used to giving a woman. Before, if the woman wasn’t fully on board, he cut ties quickly. He knew what he wanted and he didn’t have any desire to hook up with a woman who didn’t give him exactly what he demanded.
She was also going to require a firm hand, and that he didn’t mind at all. He relished the thought of taking care of her. She’d learn quickly what he expected, and he’d enjoy every minute of lavishing his care and protection on her. In time so would she.
There were things he needed to take care of. He mentally went over his list as he quickly showered. Security was of utmost priority. He couldn’t have her unprotected when those bastards had no compunction about coming after her for this money Jack owed them.
And she needed outfitting from the feet up. There was the issue of Mia’s apartment, though Jace knew she’d spend little to no time there. He was tempted just to move her right into his apartment, but he didn’t want to completely overwhelm her from the start.
She needed the semblance of independence before he brought her fully under his control. Even if he controlled all aspects of that independence. It was a little warped—okay, a lot warped—but he wanted her to regain her confidence. Have at least the perception of making her own choices even if she did it in a completely safe environment.
She’d have her own place. They’d date. He’d shower her with affection. They’d spend time together. Eventually, when she was more secure in her role in his life, he’d move her into his apartment. From there? That was as far as he’d gotten. And he knew that until the day she was living in his space he wouldn’t rest easy.
Until then, he had to ensure that her problems disappeared. He frowned as he stepped from the shower to towel off. Jack was a big problem. She obviously had a lot of loyalty to him and he was bad news. He couldn’t allow Jack to interfere in her life and put her in danger. Which meant Jace was going to have to step in. Something Bethany likely wouldn’t appreciate.
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Not bothering to dress, he wrapped the towel around his hips and walked back into the bedroom.
His gaze softened and a smile curved his lips when he saw that she was already sound asleep. Her head was on his pillow, or rather, in the middle of the mound of pillows and she was snuggled tightly under the covers. They were pulled to her chin and her lashes rested delicately on her cheeks.
Everything about this image was right. She belonged in his bed. Never had he felt such a keen sense of satisfaction over a woman being in his bed. This was right. She was right.
He let the towel drop and then he carefully pulled the covers far enough back that he could slide in. She stirred only slightly, uttering a sleepy sound that brushed pleasingly over his ears. He gathered her close, curling his arms protectively around her, and then he arranged her head so it rested on his shoulder.
He hooked his leg over hers so that she was solidly molded to his body. Then and only then did he relax and fall into sleep with her.
chapter thirteen
Bethany awoke to a hard male body wrapped solidly around hers. For a moment she panicked as she sought to gain her bearings. She was disoriented and couldn’t immediately place her surroundings. Then, as her eyelids fluttered open, she saw Jace’s eyes on her, watching her come awake, and the previous day came back to her in a flash.
She stared wordlessly at him, overwhelmed by the fact that he’d essentially taken over her life. And how much her life had changed in less than twenty-four hours. She couldn’t even grasp it all. It seemed unreal. And yet . . . welcome.
Even as she knew she should resist, a big part of her was relieved. She’d been alone and fending for herself, eking out a spartan existence for so long, and to have this man sweep in with promises to care for and protect her was dizzying. And so very tempting.
Her life wasn’t much. But it was what she was used to. How was she supposed to make the adjustment from her world to his?
Yes, he’d been adamant that they lived in the same world, but she knew better. They may occupy the same universe, but his life was so different than hers that she couldn’t even comprehend it. He had wealth and power. His life was well ordered and he had exacting standards. What on earth did he want with her? Why did he want her? It made no sense to her. It defied all logic.
“What the hell are you thinking?” he murmured.
“That I have no idea why you’re so determined to involve yourself with my problems,” she whispered back. “I don’t understand why a man like you would want someone like me. It’s crazy, Jace. I can’t fathom it. None of it. It’s like a bizarre spin on the Cinderella story—only for girls like me, there aren’t happily-ever-afters.”
“I’m starting to regret every time I ask you what you’re thinking,” he grumbled. “You’re too damn honest. I was thinking more along the lines of you thinking how gorgeous I am. Or maybe that you woke up fantasizing about me fucking you while you’re still half asleep. That other shit you’ve been thinking is just fucked up, and I swear if it takes me forever, I’m going to get that crap out of your head.”
She laughed, relaxing against the pillow. His eyes gleamed when she laughed and his hold tightened around her.
“God, you have a beautiful laugh,” he said hoarsely. “And your smile. Jesus, it knocks the breath out of me.”
Her entire body reacted to the look on his face.
“You can’t talk to me like that,” she breathed. “Nobody says things like that to a woman he just met. It’s insane.”
“I just did. And I plan to keep saying them until you believe every word.”
She shook her head, trying to drive away the muddled confusion swirling in her mind. Any moment now, she’d awaken in the shelter and all of this would have been a dream.
“You’re real,” she whispered.
He rolled, shifting his body above hers so he looked down into her eyes. His body settled, covering hers as the sheets twisted around his hips. He maneuvered until her thighs were spread and she could feel his heavy erection right between her legs.
“I’m real, baby. This is real. We are real. The sooner you accept that, the sooner we can move forward and you can be happy. I want you to be happy. I want you to be content. Warm. For you not to have to worry about your next meal. Most of all, I want you to know without a doubt that I’ve got your back. And your front. And your sides. I’ve got all of you and I’m not letting go.”
“How can you want me after all I told you last night?” she whispered.
He leaned down to kiss her, his body pushing more firmly into hers. He reached with one hand, sliding under his pillow, and retrieved a condom. She watched in shock as he lifted up his body after tearing away the wrapper with his teeth and sheathed himself with the latex. It all happened so quickly, so expertly, that all she could do was gasp when he slid fully into her.
Then he paused, still staring down at her, his eyes oddly tender. “All I know is that when I looked across the room that night at the party and saw you, everything changed for me. There was instant recognition. No, I didn’t know anything about you at that point, but what I did know was that you were going to be mine. As for that bullshit about me not wanting you after you told me about your past, well, it’s just that. Bullshit. We all make mistakes, baby. Nobody is perfect. I’m not. You’re not. It would be boring as shit if we were.”
Tears pricked her eyelids and he kissed the corner of her eye before any could spill over the edge.
“Don’t cry, Bethany. Not here in our bed. Not with me inside you. I want you to shut out everything else except me and you and the way I make you feel. Forget everything but this.”
He pulled back and then eased forward, pushing gently until he was all the way back in again.
His voice changed, becoming more serious, but his gaze never left her. “I’m not saying this is going to be easy. I’ll make mistakes. You’ll make mistakes—mostly about trying to draw attention to the differences between us. I realize it’ll take time for you to get over this mind-set that you’re somehow not good enough for me. It pisses me off but I get that you can’t change a lifetime of seeing yourself the way you do overnight. But I’m going to work on it and I’m going to wear you down, so just be forewarned. I’m a persistent bastard and I never walk away from something I want, whether in business or my personal life.”
She reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck, and pulled him down to meet her kiss. He seemed surprised by the sudden gesture and he let her take control of the kiss.
“Shut up and kiss me,” she whispered against his mouth.
He smiled, his lips curving against hers. “Now that I can do, baby.”
They went silent as their tongues tangled and clashed, twisting and rolling until she was breathless and panting. He groaned low in his throat and pushed his arms underneath her so he could gather her closer against his body.
His hips arched fluidly, his cock sliding in and out of her body until she was dizzy with pleasure. And he was so close. There wasn’t a part of her that he wasn’t touching in some way. His body was pressed against her and she could feel every twitch, every time his muscles coiled and bunched with the effort of his movements.
It hit her as he tore his mouth from hers and pressed a line of kisses down her jaw to her neck that this was nothing like the meaningless sex she’d experienced. There was nothing dirty or emotionally bereft about this.
It wasn’t even like the threesome she’d had with Jace and Ash.
For the first time in her life, she was making love.
And it sounded absurd. It sounded trite and cheesy and a whole host of other words that escaped her. It made her sound like a silly twit who couldn’t separate feelings from sex.
But the simple truth was, the only feelings she’d experienced previously were of shame, self-loathing, embarrassment, hopelessne
ss . . .
She didn’t know how to process the bombardment of emotion Jace evoked. She was overwhelmed and not in the way she’d said the day before. He surrounded her, touched her, filled her. Filled places that had long been left hollow and aching. He reached into the very heart of her and spread warmth and contentment.
She hugged him to her, not wanting even the barest of inches to separate them. She clung to him as he rocked into her, deeper, harder, penetrating to her very soul.
Overwhelming? Definitely. Everything about Jace rocked the foundations of her existence. He’d upended her life in a matter of hours and yet she didn’t feel panic. Maybe she should. She was back in his bed—after only hours of being back with him—and yet it didn’t feel wrong. It didn’t feel cheap. And wasn’t that what was important?
She closed her eyes, still clinging fiercely to him. She was utterly wrecked by the enormity of what was happening even if she didn’t fully comprehend it.
“Baby.”
Jace’s tender voice pulled her from her scattered thoughts.
“Look at me, baby.”
She opened her eyes to see him staring intently down at her. There was concern in his expression and a look of tenderness that matched his tone.
“Are you all right?”
She nodded, not trusting herself to voice her response.
“You sure?”
Again she nodded and hugged him tighter. “Kiss me.”
“You never have to ask for that.”
He kissed her. Fierce. Possessive. She shivered and arched her body, only wanting to be closer to him.
“How close are you?” he whispered.
“Almost there,” she whispered back.
“Tell me what you need to get there.”
“You,” she said. “Just you.”
His eyes flashed and his jaw clenched. Then he was kissing her again. Harder. Hot. Until she was breathing his air and he was breathing hers.