Long Time Coming

by Jayne Rylon

  “Pretty much the same as I’ve had periodically in the past. A throbbing at the base of my skull. Like the tension headaches you’ve treated me for before. I just haven’t needed my medicine for those, or the anxiety pills, in a while so everything is expired.”

  “Any flashing lights or dizziness?”

  “I’ve felt lightheaded a couple times lately. It passes quickly.” She shrugged. “A few weeks ago I had a fuzzy spot in my right eye. I know you probably hate to hear this, but I looked it up online and it matched depictions of an ocular migraine. Twinkling, a sort of prism effect, bright. It only lasted a half hour or so before it faded. I was nervous at first, never saw so many fun colors before. Didn’t hurt though, and like I said, it faded pretty quickly.”

  Dr. Smith smiled softly. “This one time, I’ll say you probably got that right. As long as you’re not driving when it hits, they’re usually not an issue. Let me take a quick look at a few things and I think we’ll have you on your way.”

  She peeked in Willie’s ears, listened to her heart and breathing then paused as she looked up.

  “Another deep breath?” Willie asked.

  “No, sorry. It’s just that your pupils are slightly different sizes.” Dr. Smith walked over to her file and flipped some pages, then clicked through the laptop that held older records. “Hmm… I’ve never noticed anisocoria on you before. Do you have a little more time this afternoon?”

  “I’m free, yes.” Willie bit her lip.

  “I’m going to write an order for a scan at the imaging center downstairs. I think it wouldn’t hurt to be safe. You’re not afraid of cramped quarters, are you? I can have them start your anti-anxiety medicine as well. If you need something faster acting, they can crush some Valium and put it under your tongue.” Dr. Smith was already scribbling something on a pad she drew from her coat pocket.

  Willie thought back to the era she’d spent living in the van. That would have been impossible if she was claustrophobic. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, then.” Dr. Smith smiled, though it seemed slightly more forced than before. “I checked you in from my laptop here. Head down to the first floor. Go to the end of the hall and you’ll see a waiting room on the left. Shouldn’t take more than an hour, probably less.”

  “Thank you.” She hopped off the table and gathered her belongings then wandered through the medical center, trying not to imagine the time Tom, Eli, and Michelle had spent in facilities like these.

  When she arrived at the imaging office, a young man was waiting for her. He led her straight into the back, had her lie on a table and close her eyes as the open-air machine worked its magic. She used the time to daydream about the things she wanted to try with Tom later that night.

  The tech told her he was finished and she prepared to leave. Curious, she asked, “So what happens now?”

  “We’ll have a specialist read the scans and send Dr. Smith a report. Most likely they’ll send you a letter letting you know everything’s cool.” He grinned. “If something turns up, they’ll give you a call. So don’t panic if you don’t hear anything right away. Most people hate the waiting. That’s actually good news.”

  “Okay, great. Thank you.” She glanced at her watch, eager to finish up her shopping then get back to Hot Rods. It was already later than their usual suppertime and she wanted to whip up something special for Tom. Maybe crab cakes or duck breast with raspberry sauce. He’d loved both when she’d made them in the past.

  She didn’t mind admitting to herself that she’d been trying to impress him with her cooking. Looks like it had worked.

  Willie drove her cart through the grocery store aisles so fast she ended up taking one of the corners on two wheels. Grinning, she thought she deserved to be an honorary Hot Rod.

  So when she pulled into the lot at the garage, she was surprised that Tom didn’t come out to help carry in the groceries like he usually did. The bays at Hot Rods were closed, early for the kids to call it a night. With a shrug, she hefted as many bags as she possibly could—only suckers made more trips than necessary—then headed for the house.

  Her load banged into the door as she reached for the knob. It surprised her when it swung inward. “Tommy? Could you give me a hand with the groceries, please?”

  No response.

  He never left the door unlocked when he was out, and certainly not standing open. Even though Middletown wasn’t especially high in crime, he didn’t tempt fate considering the constant flow of cars at the gas station out front.

  What was going on?

  When she pushed into the kitchen, she gasped.

  Was this some kind of setup? There were flowers on the kitchen table and lovely candlelight danced around the room. She smiled and got misty eyed when she peeked into the living room and saw the blanket and wine he’d spread out for them plus more of the same there, too.

  He must have run over to the apartment quickly for something.

  She might as well get started on dinner since he’d gone to a lot of trouble to make their night special. Adding a few touches of her own seemed only fair.

  Singing to herself, she danced her way around the kitchen from the refrigerator to the stove as she gathered ingredients and began to mix the crab cakes she’d decided on. When she had the patties formed, she popped them back into the refrigerator and set some water to heat up for the pasta she’d make to accompany them. In the meantime, she apologized mentally to Dr. Smith then used some heavy cream as a base for a sage-lime sauce.

  When she had all that finished, she glanced at the clock, frowning.

  She scrubbed her hands, then took her phone from her purse. No messages.

  With a swipe of her finger, she tapped out a note to Tom. Dinner should be ready in twenty minutes.

  Then she combined some pudding and whipped cream. Chocolate pie wasn’t her fanciest dessert ever. It was quick and easy to prepare, though. Plus, it could be used in about a million different creative and naughty ways.

  Her phone beeped. She practically knocked half her ingredients onto the floor when she lunged for it.

  Sorry, Willie. Something came up. Not sure how long I’ll be. Go ahead without me if you’re hungry.

  Was the man nuts? She wasn’t about to spoil this. Of course she would wait for him.

  In fact, she decided she might as well make one of his fantasies come true. So she shucked her dress and underwear, then grabbed the apron she’d brought over and left on the hook on the back of the pantry door. She put it on, feeling kind of ridiculous.

  Tom’s expression would be worth it.

  Maybe they wouldn’t be eating until much later.

  Of course, after an hour had gone by, she was curled up on the blanket in front of the TV, partway through the movie she’d found ready and waiting. Her ass had gone numb a while ago from sitting on the floor and she’d wrapped herself in an afghan that normally decorated the back of the couch, since her apron didn’t provide much warmth.

  She clutched her phone, checking every minute or two for an update from Tom. Nothing.

  Sickness roiled in her guts as she tried not to associate tonight’s foiled special meal with the last one she’d prepared for a man.

  Or maybe that was hunger?

  When the credits on the movie rolled, she could no longer deny her growling stomach.

  Part annoyed and part scared, she hustled into the kitchen and fried the crab cakes, smacking the pan on the burner harder than she otherwise would. Half the water in the pot had disappeared. She didn’t bother to replace it, instead making less pasta. Her cream sauce had a skin on top of it that only ticked her off more.

  Still, she carefully prepared two plates then wrapped one in aluminum foil and popped it into the stove, which she left on warm. She blew out the nearly spent candles in the kitchen on her way back to the living room. At the last second, she paused then backed up.

  Where had that hole in the wall come from?

  She ran her fingers over the crater, wo
ndering if Quinn had been playing basketball in the house again. He’d have to use his next video chat with the Powertools crew to learn how to patch drywall since she was sure Tom would hold him accountable for the damage. No time like the present to learn new skills, kid.

  A few hours with her absent and things went to hell.

  Normally, she might have chuckled at her dramatics. Tonight, she sat in the living room, eating her food without enjoying it much. Only a couple candles flickered near her now, so it was nearly as dark in the room as it was in her thoughts.

  A light throbbing began in her temples. Great.

  Setting her dish aside on the coffee table, she rested her eyes, hoping to relax enough that the pain subsided on its own. Sure, she had the prescriptions she’d gotten filled while she shopped, but she preferred not to take the medicine unless she really needed it.

  Sometime later, a key sliding into the lock startled her awake.

  Though she was a little annoyed and a lot worried, she couldn’t help but smile when Tom came through the door. “Hey.”

  “Oh, Willie.” He grimaced. “Shit. I ruined our plans. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Must have been important.” Curiosity was about to rip her apart.

  “Yeah. Someone I wasn’t expecting came into town…” He wouldn’t look at her when he said, “They had some news for me that I didn’t want to hear and I don’t really know what to do about it yet.”

  The absolute misery in his gaze nearly eviscerated her. Comforting him was the only thing she could think about.

  “Then why don’t we forget it for tonight.” She smiled softly. He’d tell her when he was ready. “I left some crab cakes and pasta warming for you. There’s even chocolate pie.”

  His Adam’s apple bobbed hard a few times, as if he were swallowing back bile. Not exactly the reaction she’d hoped for. When he unlaced his boots, kicked them off onto the mat by the door, then headed for the stove, she expected him to collect his reward.

  Instead, he took the plate out and put it in the refrigerator.

  A part of her wanted to cry for the wasted effort. Had she judged him so wrong?

  She looked around, wishing she could reach her dress without exposing her nakedness. If she could, she’d put it on and make a run for it. Something had gone off track here.

  “Sorry, Willie. It’s kind of late for rich food. I’m not very hungry right now either.” He approached her slowly, as if unsure of what to say or do. Was he going to leave her there?

  Tom sighed, then sank down beside her. He reached out as if he was going to touch her cheek with his fingertips.

  And that’s when she noticed how torn up his knuckles were.

  “Tommy!” she gasped. “What happened to your poor hands?”

  He didn’t answer right away, staring down at them as he flexed his fingers slowly while wincing.

  “Wait, is this what made that hole in the kitchen wall? Did you put it there?” Her eyes widened. He never lost his temper.

  “Something like that.” Again, he dodged.

  When she climbed to her knees to peer at him eye to eye, as if she could read whatever was troubling him better that way, the afghan slipped from around her.

  Tom groaned. He muttered something she couldn’t quite make out. It sounded an awful lot like gonna murder that bastard for making me miss out though.

  So she did the only thing she knew how to do. She offered herself as his remedy for whatever had gone wrong.

  Willie collected every bit of nerve she had, then took the blanket off her entirely. She smiled at Tom then walked the apron up her thighs. Higher and higher, she raised the hem until she whipped it over her head and knelt before him entirely nude.

  A growl left his throat a moment before he eliminated the gap between them and fused their mouths together. His kiss held a note of desperation she’d never noticed before. It reminded her of the way she’d felt when he hadn’t come home. Scared shitless. He crushed their lips together and ravaged her until she moaned, needing more.

  Frantically, she reached for him, hoping to tear his clothes off.

  Her hands slid beneath his shirt then skimmed up his back, letting her nails scratch lightly along either side of his spine as she drew them down again, then around his waist.

  But as her hand cupped his crotch, she felt he wasn’t even hard for her.

  When she froze, he must have realized something was wrong.

  “Sorry, Willie.” He put some space between them, then mumbled, “I want to, but I don’t think I can. Guess my age is showing. Earlier today. God. That was amazing. I’m not a young stud anymore.”

  “Maybe not, but you’re all the man I can handle.” She hugged him and thought she felt him shy away from her hold. Why? “You would tell me if I did something to upset you, right?”

  He cursed then rubbed his eyes. “You’re not the problem here, Willie.”

  “Is it the doctor visit that’s still bothering you?” Hating to bring it up, she winced.

  “Ah, shit. I forgot about that.”

  He had? She found that hard to believe, given his earlier freak-out.

  Tom sighed, getting his breathing under control. He leaned over and grabbed some pillows from the couch then tossed them onto the floor. With a few efficient movements, he got rid of his shirt and pants then sprawled on his back in his briefs. The sight of him like that did nothing to calm her rioting hormones.

  Until he patted the spot next to him on their picnic quilt.

  “Come here and let me hold you?” he asked.

  Willie definitely wasn’t going to turn down that offer when everything inside her was jumbled and in need of reassurance. She snuggled beside him, draping her arm over his middle and resting her head on his chest. The feel of so much of her skin pressed to his for the first time was nearly as pleasurable as when he’d gone down on her before.

  Almost.

  “Everything go okay at your appointment?” he wondered as he stroked her hair, making the escalating thump of her headache seem less drastic. Whatever had gone wrong, they could work through it if they kept talking. Communication was typically one of their strengths.

  “Pretty much.” She lifted one shoulder where he trailed his fingers across the chilled skin. “Got my prescriptions and they did some precautionary testing.”

  “Have you taken your medicine yet?” he asked. “I know you don’t like to rely on it. If you went through the effort of going to get it, I’m guessing you really need it.”

  She squashed the urge to massage her own scalp.

  “I’ll take that as a no. Where is it? I’ll get it for you.” He set her aside and got to his feet then followed her instructions to her purse. When he returned with a giant glass of water and the pills, she accepted them.

  Then they resumed their positions, lying together in silence for a while.

  Willie hated to destroy their temporary truce. A splinter of worry kept stabbing at her though and she figured it was better to express it than let it fester.

  “Whatever happened today hurt you. I understand if you need time to process it. But I don’t like being kept in the dark. Not when I might be able to help you otherwise.” She tried not to get upset. At Tom, or herself, or whatever was eating him.

  It was difficult when disappointment, fear, and longing tangled together into a knot in her belly. He’d always been open and honest with her in their lengthy conversations. Even when discussing difficult topics.

  Having him change that now, when they were supposed to be drawing closer instead of falling further apart, bruised her heart. It felt as if he was eroding part of the foundation they’d built their relationship on.

  His mouth opened then closed a few times, like he might respond. Or say something. Anything.

  In the end, he simply kissed her forehead and held her tighter.

  When her medicines began to kick in and her eyelids grew heavy, Willie dragged the afghan over them and blew out the lone remaining cand
le.

  In the pitch blackness, she whispered, “Good night, Tommy.”

  It nearly broke her heart when his ragged voice murmured back, “I love you, Willie. No matter what, please never forget that.”

  She would have said it back if she hadn’t been so shocked, or if he hadn’t put his fingers over her lips to keep her from having to reply.

  “Go to sleep, honey.” The rapid rise and fall of his chest as he sighed, lifted then dropped her, too. Just like the events of the day had done. “I really am sorrier than you know.”

  Since he wouldn’t let her speak, and she wasn’t sure she had the right answers anyway in the midst of her confusion, she closed her eyes and let the chemicals she’d ingested—and the warm strength of Tom’s arms around her—assist her in drifting off.

  Chapter Seven

  Tom couldn’t believe it when sunlight began to trickle through the curtains, dusting Willie’s face with the first golden beams of morning. He hadn’t slept at all, instead spending hours memorizing the curve of her nose and the way her thick lashes rested on her bold cheekbones in case this was the last time he got the privilege of holding her through the night.

  He’d thought of every possible move he could make and what the resulting outcomes might be. The bitch of it was, he still had no idea how to break the news to Willie in the least hurtful way, though he couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

  Ironically, she hadn’t had her nightmare.

  Either the medicine had worked, she’d exhausted herself worrying about him and his absurd behavior, or—some paranoid part of him worried—maybe subconsciously she could tell what he’d been hiding.

  The really fucked-up part of it all was that when he should be focused only on her, he kept fighting selfishness. Would she stay with him, knowing her beloved Steven was still out there and available? Hell, even through Tom’s anger, it had been obvious the man worshipped Wilhelmina.

  Tom couldn’t fault him for that.

  She was spectacular—a fighter disguised in pretty dresses behind soft words.